FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Part 8 damnit lies and damn lies
Part 8 damnit lies and damn lies
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You know the rules by now, lie about the one above, make it nasty but most importantly MAKE IT FUNNY  |
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By *aldybiMan
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
Keeps a private photo collection of clowns pockets and yawning donkeys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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cant pass a shoe shop without cooing at the lovely shoes in the window, with a hand to his mouth camp style |
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Has a collection of photographs of cream cakes once spotted in teashop windows |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has a collection of photographs of cream cakes once spotted in teashop windows"
mmmmmmmm creamcakes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has a collection of photographs of cream cakes once spotted in teashop windows"
has no rectum so is literaly full of xxxxx |
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By *aldybiMan
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
Appears in Pablo's photo collection wearing my old cast-off Jimi Choos |
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Has a hairstyle exactly the same as that old black and white picture on the barbers wall |
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By *aldybiMan
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
Has an arse like a badger rolling round a barbers floor |
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Rejected by badgers, bears, milfs gilfs and anything else with a pulse |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Is a star trek fan,.. so much so makes a swssh sound when opening doors... |
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Points his old Motorola phone at people before shouting
Set phasers to stun
Those Klingon wrinkles on his forehead are not prosthetic |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
was the original model for the Kilingons round Uranus |
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Nice guy, solvent, a great catch for any female, soft hands from doing the dishes too |
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Is a hobbledy and has hobbit feet |
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Hairy toes are sexy
Is a stuntbird for barbie |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
Wants to be the caped crusader - but thinks it would make him look even more camp |
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Pretends to be robin
Gets chased out of Trekkie conventions because of this |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
volunteered as the figurehead for the Gloriana - but chickened out once he realised the torch would burn his bum |
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Has a large collection of action man dolls in bondage gear and periodically holds swinging parties with troll dolls |
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Her amazing tits recieve radio transitions but is unfortunately always tuned into terry wogan |
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walks round with an aerial stuck to his head |
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During gangbang can turn her head 180degree the suck guys behind her |
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Once got bummed by Elton John at a Guns 'N' Roses concert |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Banned from the beauty parlour... Misunderstood what they meant by facial... |
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had to go to a&e with a ketchup bottle stuck up bum! |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
has specially made bras to conceal the fact that she is flat chested |
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has special socks knitted in wire wool to straighten out his knock knees! |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
is realy a beer swilling,fag smoking,lard arse,who lives for saturday nights so she can pig out fart and burp to her hearts content |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Has a red carpet in her hall way and walks down it to watch a new dvd ... |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Eats pickled onions for breakfast lunch and dinner... |
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uses a victor kyam nasal hair trimmer |
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Nasal hair trimmer set to stun
Improvises as a vibrator |
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still has a nasal trimmer stuck up his nose! look closely yoy can see the bulge like a snake that swallowed a rat! |
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By *aldybiMan
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
Secretly desires to trim Pablo's nose hair with an electric rat while swallowing his snake...
May have caught Femme's dose of nucking futs... |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
Normally walks around with a vibrant red full cury tresses wig |
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Uses a school girls mini skirt as a mini kilt for fetish wear has trouble finding patent stilletos in a size 12 |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
is actually a nun who escaped from the convent and had an unsuccessful sex change |
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Wanted to work on an oil rig to satisfy his urge to be surrounded by "big butch men" |
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Did work on an oil rig to satisfy his urge to be surrounded by "big butch men" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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owns an oil rig |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
smuggled herself onto the oil rig to be satisfied by the big butch men |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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is actualy a duck in a man suit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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her oil rig is staffed by big butch women |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
When passing wind its measured on the beaufort scale,.. |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
she is really a gusher - it is piped of to the local refinery |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Hasn't mastered using a knife and fork so uses a spoon... Often heard making aeroplane noises .... and saying 'open wide.' |
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Stopped eating finger food after he ate somebody's fingers |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
lived on fish fingers till someone told him it hurt the fish when they amputated them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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has a pet hippo called herbert in a paddling pool in his garden |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
wanted to be called Angel Delight - but did not like the taste |
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Nobody likes the taste of angel delight
Refuses to listen to the electric light orchestra because he only listens to "Eco friendly classical music" |
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By *aldybiMan
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
Only eats cock-cheese flavoured Angel Delight |
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Addicted to cock cheese and stale wee |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Joined a computer dating site, he's now dating a dell.  |
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Only ever drives old eastern European cars, loves ladas and wartburgs
Never recovered from Skoda building the fabia |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
loves to ask if anyone wants to see his punched cards - hes a retro computer buff |
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Played the keyboards for the London symphony orchestra during the chariots of fire routine at the Olympic opening ceremony |
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had a thai wife for 3 mins before she ran off screaming back to mother! |
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Once came fourth in a school egg & spoon race
Decided to take up basketweaving aged 14 |
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thinks a sack race involves dressing his balls in lycra! |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
her labia are so long she can lick her own lips |
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Often seen flashing in laybys on the A3 |
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Only lives in Leeds so that when she gets to the top of the M1 she knows she's almost home |
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Still can't work out why the derby is in Epsom |
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drinks 5 pints op epsom salts a day |
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By *aldybiMan
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
Just made the Arctic Monkeys cum together... |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
is the one whos gonna light the big flame at the swingers olympics. |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
"Favourite for a medal"
gold please.... it would be nice to come first for a change PB...  |
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A true lady, always cums first, second, third, team events, relays and the marathon, does well in the funny walks and gets ridden like a bike.
A true laydee in every sense |
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jumped out of a helicopter with the queen at the openinng ceremony! |
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Owns a family of Cabbage Patch Dolls
In training to be a trapeze artist |
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drives around the big top in a miniature car hooting a horn wearing a red curly wig |
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Redundant from the circus as every town now has a bearded laydee covered in tattoos |
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has to ride in the cage at the end of the circus train. gets covered in shit from dumbo in front and is fed on peanuts! |
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his job is to pick up the clinkers out of the sawdust and fashions em into models of agent provocateur as its the only way he gets to shag her! |
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Delusions of adequacy formed by sycophantic posters claiming she is a hotty. Has spots halitosis and sweaty feet
Don't mention the boils |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Tells everyone he's hotstuff because he Uses deep heat for after shave |
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Once burnt his willy on the ironing board |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
It too short to reach the ironing board and his willy is not long enough for the iron to have any effect on it |
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Drinks 14 cans of IrnBru for breakfast then ties a girder in a knot |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
is so weak - cant even tie a shoe lace in a knot |
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Wears fake glasses nose & tache, speaks like Joe Pasquale |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
worried about frost bite - so always wears his thermal long johns to meets |
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Has an A.S.B.O. for "horrendous bagpipe playing abilities" at 3am
Has since resorted to keeping pet iguanas |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
auditioned for Mr bean but was too ugly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Auditioned for Braveheart but wasn't Scottish enough. |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
painted his face and body with normal wood paint - lost most of his skin getting it off |
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Was Bonnie Prince Charlie in a previous incarnation, came unstuck just south of Derby
Rode a pony instead of a stallion |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
made a mistake reading the book and went looking for a grey mare |
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Last meet said he was a nightmare |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
told his last meet - he was a stallion - forgot to tell her he had been gelded |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Plays in an ooompah band so he can wear the leiderhosen... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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drills holes in pieces of wood when he gets bored |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
likes to swing from the ceiling and ask her men to see if they can get it in as she moves past |
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Is actually a taxi driver so has The Knowledge, sadly it is that of a mollusc |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
bought a tom tom on Ebay and was miost upset to find out he could not bang it |
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Thought eBay was a holiday resort |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
a girl told him to come to myspace and he kept asking for the postcode |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
was kicked out of scotland for wearing furry boxer shorts under his kilt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Has hidden her page as she thinks I'm stalking her,,, it couldn't be further from the truth I'm actually her illigitmate live child born from this very site !!
Mum come home  |
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Knows all the words to Annie I'm not your daddy, genuinely thinks they are one of kid Creoles coconuts
Sad really |
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Got kicked out of Sunday School for singing rude words to the hymns
Is currently in training to become a trappist monk |
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Pulls the wings off of flies, one day he will have enough to make a batman mask |
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By *aldybiMan
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
Was kicked out of Scouts for eating Brownies
Traps monks with bad habits |
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Really has long flowing blond locks but airbrushed them out to make himself look macho
As a crossdresser he is an illegal member of the W.I. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Picks up men at the local urinals and has a scrapbook of urinal cakes at home |
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Are actually both X Factor rejects who never made the auditions
Recently bought a mobile home but someone stole it before they could move it to their desired location (Bangor apparently) |
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Supports Shrewsbury town because they used to play at gay meadow |
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rides a tandem bike with a little cart on the back for pablo |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
is realy a bag lady but she is upmarket and uses a shopping trolley |
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Supplies "shop soiled" trolleys to winos so they can go on the pull for bag ladies without their own wheels |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
has a supply of wheeled trolleys and zimmer frames,he uses for luring old ladies into his den of inequity |
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If you look closely, her av shows her tied to a shopping trolley
Supplied by me obviously |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
runs a concession stand for grannys r us |
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is a sticky vicky stand in in benidorm! |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
she is sticky vicki,i only stand in while she gets the dyson out for a good clear out |
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Sticky vicky franchise coming to a town near you soon |
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has bought up all tickets for sticky vicky night |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
and she has stashed em where the sun dont shine |
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is wearing knickers in this photo but her arse has eaten em! |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
yep but mine dont have a big hole in em |
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no just your arse has a big hole! |
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Stick it on the cv for the sticky vicky franchise |
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went blind trying to find _aceytops knickers |
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Used my spidey sense
Sells lacytops used shoes, underwear and and armpit shavings by mail order |
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buys _aceytopos toenail clippings on line and makes a scrummy pie! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Goes in Mcdonalds dressed as Ronald Mcdonald to scare the kids and get free burgers. |
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original username was fartfuldogger! |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
GET OUTTA MY KNICKERDRAWER |
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pablo get out of laceys knicker drawer! |
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It's her knickers I'm trying to get into
Answers to the name of diesel Bertha |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
uses diesal as lube,wonders why he gets msgs from mechanics |
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Jumps on my lap saying "let's play mechanics"
Then shouts "oooh I feel your jack rising" |
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im just calling the AA pablos got a flat! |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
tried viagra and ciallis at eh same time and exploded as he looked at lacy |
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In court in the morning for stealing breadcrumbs from little children wanting to feed the swans
Claims they gave it to him to make summer pudding |
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"tried viagra and ciallis at eh same time and exploded as he looked at lacy "
not "_xscot" "exmiltonkeynes"
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Pre op exhibitionist seeks adoring fans |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
does not like to talk about himself |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Compares himself to a supermarket,... Not because he's got everything you'd want ... It's Because he's lidl... |
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Once decorated his whole house in safeways money off coupons.
Currently redecorating with morrisons vouchers. Needs some yellow and green adhesive tape to colour match the bathroom |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Learnt his dance moves from appearing in the kwik fit fitter adverts |
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volunteers in a hand car wash just so he can soap up and rub down the occupants! |
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Was once in a girlband called Los Lesbos |
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danced with pans people on top of pops |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was found enticing tramps with spoons of honey to mow her lawn in their underwear so she could perv them from the garden shed. |
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Finds that going digging on the 29 bus has its drawbacks |
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bought a strimmer from b&q today to trim pubes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pretends to be a bus driver on the number 29 bus. |
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steals the coins from wishing wells! |
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Always wears his left sock insideout
Always speaks in fluent Flemish |
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Hangs head in shame, my timing is as terrible as my typing  |
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Not changed socks in three years |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
wears crusty dusty cos he likes the crackle they make when he sits down |
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