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Do you care what other people say?
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
Having a muse about the nature of people, and of conversation, gossip and all sorts.
I'm not talking about what people say about you.... I'm talking about what they say about others.
Do you make your own judgement on a person and your experience of them is the only way it changes, or does what others say about them easily colour your thinking? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What people say about others says more about them usually.
I never let anyone tell me how to feel about someone, and until I know that person I rarely make judgements.
I don't like people who do nothing but talk about other people. |
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It depends on who I’m listening to, some people’s opinions on things matter more to me than others and other people may be more qualified etc to have an opinion.
I’d like to think I formulate my on opinion ultimately but would consider others opinions to formulate part of the decision process. |
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Nearly always best to find out what a persons like face to face rather than listening to second hand gossip .
I guess it may occasionally be valid if you really trust the person who's telling you about them , but on the whole I prefer to find out by meeting said person  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What people say about others says more about them usually.
I never let anyone tell me how to feel about someone, and until I know that person I rarely make judgements.
I don't like people who do nothing but talk about other people. "
One million percent this. Make your own judgements about people. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I like to for my own opinion of people, I will listen to what others have to say but I generally don't let them influence me, I trust my own judgement "
Good call.... take the thoughts but use your own mind... |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"What people say about others says more about them usually.
I never let anyone tell me how to feel about someone, and until I know that person I rarely make judgements.
I don't like people who do nothing but talk about other people. "
That's why you're the top 3 forumite!
Sensible lady.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It depends on who I’m listening to, some people’s opinions on things matter more to me than others and other people may be more qualified etc to have an opinion.
I’d like to think I formulate my on opinion ultimately but would consider others opinions to formulate part of the decision process. "
This
One or two people I trust implicitly and are not prone to gossip. If they tell me something about another person it's because they have my best interests at heart and I'd be wise to listen. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"It depends on who I’m listening to, some people’s opinions on things matter more to me than others and other people may be more qualified etc to have an opinion.
I’d like to think I formulate my on opinion ultimately but would consider others opinions to formulate part of the decision process. "
That's fair. If your opinion differed massively from what you were told, what would you do? |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Nearly always best to find out what a persons like face to face rather than listening to second hand gossip .
I guess it may occasionally be valid if you really trust the person who's telling you about them , but on the whole I prefer to find out by meeting said person x"
That makes a lot.of sense.
Post covid. Obvs  |
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I only judge people on the conversations they have with me.
I quite happily will listen and add a different way of looking at things if asked, but its none of my business and I will not be drawn into anyones drama, I stay on the outskirts and provide a sounding board service instead x |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I have always formulated my own opinion, despite how someone else may judge another person, good or bad.
Recieved wisdom can be so very misleading.
"
It can. As it's coloured by so many things from the third party. |
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"Nearly always best to find out what a persons like face to face rather than listening to second hand gossip .
I guess it may occasionally be valid if you really trust the person who's telling you about them , but on the whole I prefer to find out by meeting said person x
That makes a lot.of sense.
Post covid. Obvs "
Obvs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d like to say no but I think if someone told me something about someone I’d probably take it into account. Depends who said it really. It’s not good on here though as I’ve heard so much utter bullshit about myself! People tend to make stuff up or Chinese whispers happen. It’s a difficult one to be honest! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"What people say about others says more about them usually.
I never let anyone tell me how to feel about someone, and until I know that person I rarely make judgements.
I don't like people who do nothing but talk about other people.
One million percent this. Make your own judgements about people. "
 |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"It depends on who I’m listening to, some people’s opinions on things matter more to me than others and other people may be more qualified etc to have an opinion.
I’d like to think I formulate my on opinion ultimately but would consider others opinions to formulate part of the decision process.
This
One or two people I trust implicitly and are not prone to gossip. If they tell me something about another person it's because they have my best interests at heart and I'd be wise to listen. "
I'd agree with that. Although I've been wrong in the past with that way as well |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"no i wouldn't go on what anyone else said , thsts very narrow minded , i like to form my own opinion on someone "
A woman who knows her own mind.... I like it! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I only judge people on the conversations they have with me.
I quite happily will listen and add a different way of looking at things if asked, but its none of my business and I will not be drawn into anyones drama, I stay on the outskirts and provide a sounding board service instead x"
That's what I like to do... but I haven't managed to master the not getting drawn in all the time. I sometimes feel pulled pillar to post a bit. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I’d like to say no but I think if someone told me something about someone I’d probably take it into account. Depends who said it really. It’s not good on here though as I’ve heard so much utter bullshit about myself! People tend to make stuff up or Chinese whispers happen. It’s a difficult one to be honest!"
Chinese whispers are rife!
So you're saying that thing I heard about you and the sailors wasn't true?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d like to say no but I think if someone told me something about someone I’d probably take it into account. Depends who said it really. It’s not good on here though as I’ve heard so much utter bullshit about myself! People tend to make stuff up or Chinese whispers happen. It’s a difficult one to be honest!
Chinese whispers are rife!
So you're saying that thing I heard about you and the sailors wasn't true? "
Damn now that’s got out too!!??!!! |
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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
"I only judge people on the conversations they have with me.
I quite happily will listen and add a different way of looking at things if asked, but its none of my business and I will not be drawn into anyones drama, I stay on the outskirts and provide a sounding board service instead x
That's what I like to do... but I haven't managed to master the not getting drawn in all the time. I sometimes feel pulled pillar to post a bit."
why do you get drawn in ? Why don't you remove yourself before thst , ever heard the saying not my monkey , not my circus maybe you should use it lol |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I’d like to say no but I think if someone told me something about someone I’d probably take it into account. Depends who said it really. It’s not good on here though as I’ve heard so much utter bullshit about myself! People tend to make stuff up or Chinese whispers happen. It’s a difficult one to be honest!
Chinese whispers are rife!
So you're saying that thing I heard about you and the sailors wasn't true?
Damn now that’s got out too!!??!!!"
TBF. I started that one.
Sorry. I made you look good though |
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There are so many variables to this but 99 times out of 100 I will make my own mind up.
Your trust in the person who is saying it to you and your own thoughts of them count for a lot.
Why they would be saying it as well.
Who it is they're talking about and the nature of what they are saying counts too.
If its just that they had had a little playground spat once before then you can pretty much dismiss it but if it comes down to big concerns for your welfare then you would be daft not to at least take some notice even if you decide to go ahead and meet them just so you are forewarned of any red flags that could pop up.
The best bit of advice I never listened to a long time ago could have saved me a long and painful world of pain.
Based purely on what I told a friend they said an ex was an ex for a reason....yes I went back to that ex as well. Singularly the most spectacularly stupid mistake I ever made. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
It depends who is telling me and what they are telling me to be honest - even then though I prefer to form my own opinion based on first hand experience, although will bear what I have been told in mind if it's from someone I know is of a like mind to me - have generally found though that it bears out when that is the case. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I’d like to think that I make my own judgement on someone.
How they are with you could be different to how they are with someone else but surely you go by with how they are with you right??
"
That's what I would think. And different people react differently to different people.
That's a lot of different. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
On the whole, yes I do. There have been a few times when a close friend has had an unpleasant experience with someone and that will have some impact on my view of the person.
For the most part I base my opinion on someone on how they interact with me, if we're talking about a forumite on here on how they interact with others. I'm aware of biases (confirmation etc) and try and remove that as much as possible.
Much like Nora, I've heard nonsense about me which is a shame isn't it? I can't be doing with playground antics. I think taking people as they are is something we should all try and do more of but I'm aware of my hypocrisy as I type this, I'm not sure holier-than-thou is a great look on me.  |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I only judge people on the conversations they have with me.
I quite happily will listen and add a different way of looking at things if asked, but its none of my business and I will not be drawn into anyones drama, I stay on the outskirts and provide a sounding board service instead x
That's what I like to do... but I haven't managed to master the not getting drawn in all the time. I sometimes feel pulled pillar to post a bit. why do you get drawn in ? Why don't you remove yourself before thst , ever heard the saying not my monkey , not my circus maybe you should use it lol "
I do a lot more these days.
I don't take sides, but I will listen. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"There are so many variables to this but 99 times out of 100 I will make my own mind up.
Your trust in the person who is saying it to you and your own thoughts of them count for a lot.
Why they would be saying it as well.
Who it is they're talking about and the nature of what they are saying counts too.
If its just that they had had a little playground spat once before then you can pretty much dismiss it but if it comes down to big concerns for your welfare then you would be daft not to at least take some notice even if you decide to go ahead and meet them just so you are forewarned of any red flags that could pop up.
The best bit of advice I never listened to a long time ago could have saved me a long and painful world of pain.
Based purely on what I told a friend they said an ex was an ex for a reason....yes I went back to that ex as well. Singularly the most spectacularly stupid mistake I ever made."
You make sense oh wise one.
Still not Queen though. |
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"I’d like to say no but I think if someone told me something about someone I’d probably take it into account. Depends who said it really. It’s not good on here though as I’ve heard so much utter bullshit about myself! People tend to make stuff up or Chinese whispers happen. It’s a difficult one to be honest!"
You really can’t believe the Chinese whispers that float around sometimes.
I had someone message me a while back saying something you said to them about me but just brushed it off since I’ve never felt there being any issues between us. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"It depends who is telling me and what they are telling me to be honest - even then though I prefer to form my own opinion based on first hand experience, although will bear what I have been told in mind if it's from someone I know is of a like mind to me - have generally found though that it bears out when that is the case."
That's sensible. I think bearing it in mind is different to being swayed though. |
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"There are so many variables to this but 99 times out of 100 I will make my own mind up.
Your trust in the person who is saying it to you and your own thoughts of them count for a lot.
Why they would be saying it as well.
Who it is they're talking about and the nature of what they are saying counts too.
If its just that they had had a little playground spat once before then you can pretty much dismiss it but if it comes down to big concerns for your welfare then you would be daft not to at least take some notice even if you decide to go ahead and meet them just so you are forewarned of any red flags that could pop up.
The best bit of advice I never listened to a long time ago could have saved me a long and painful world of pain.
Based purely on what I told a friend they said an ex was an ex for a reason....yes I went back to that ex as well. Singularly the most spectacularly stupid mistake I ever made.
You make sense oh wise one.
Still not Queen though."
My day being Queen will come  |
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"I’d like to think that I make my own judgement on someone.
How they are with you could be different to how they are with someone else but surely you go by with how they are with you right??
That's what I would think. And different people react differently to different people.
That's a lot of different."
Totally agree and the beauty of it.
Would we all want to be the same |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"On the whole, yes I do. There have been a few times when a close friend has had an unpleasant experience with someone and that will have some impact on my view of the person.
For the most part I base my opinion on someone on how they interact with me, if we're talking about a forumite on here on how they interact with others. I'm aware of biases (confirmation etc) and try and remove that as much as possible.
Much like Nora, I've heard nonsense about me which is a shame isn't it? I can't be doing with playground antics. I think taking people as they are is something we should all try and do more of but I'm aware of my hypocrisy as I type this, I'm not sure holier-than-thou is a great look on me. "
What you've said makes sense.
And we should all try and take people as they are, or as we find them anyway.
But as you say, holier-than-thou isn't a great look. I couldn't pull it off! |
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"I only judge people on the conversations they have with me.
I quite happily will listen and add a different way of looking at things if asked, but its none of my business and I will not be drawn into anyones drama, I stay on the outskirts and provide a sounding board service instead x
That's what I like to do... but I haven't managed to master the not getting drawn in all the time. I sometimes feel pulled pillar to post a bit."
Posh. Ask yourself whether your friends would treat you this way |
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"It depends on who I’m listening to, some people’s opinions on things matter more to me than others and other people may be more qualified etc to have an opinion.
I’d like to think I formulate my on opinion ultimately but would consider others opinions to formulate part of the decision process.
That's fair. If your opinion differed massively from what you were told, what would you do?"
I’d do what’s right for me |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Off here? No, I make my own mind up about people. I’m a good judge of character and very good at reading people.
On here is irrelevant really as I keep myself to myself. Nobody has my ear."
I meant on and off here, so thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends if I know the tale teller well enough to know that they don't knowingly lie, manipulate or gossip.
If I don't, then I will make my own mind up. Having been at the pointy end of nasty rumours many times myself I know to not trust gossip and that it's likely someone is being hurt. I'll have none of that thanks.
When someone tells you bad things about several people you'd start to have doubts anyway, right? Maybe even think "I wonder what you day about me". |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I only judge people on the conversations they have with me.
I quite happily will listen and add a different way of looking at things if asked, but its none of my business and I will not be drawn into anyones drama, I stay on the outskirts and provide a sounding board service instead x
That's what I like to do... but I haven't managed to master the not getting drawn in all the time. I sometimes feel pulled pillar to post a bit.
Posh. Ask yourself whether your friends would treat you this way"
 |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"It depends on who I’m listening to, some people’s opinions on things matter more to me than others and other people may be more qualified etc to have an opinion.
I’d like to think I formulate my on opinion ultimately but would consider others opinions to formulate part of the decision process.
That's fair. If your opinion differed massively from what you were told, what would you do?
I’d do what’s right for me"
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Depends if I know the tale teller well enough to know that they don't knowingly lie, manipulate or gossip.
If I don't, then I will make my own mind up. Having been at the pointy end of nasty rumours many times myself I know to not trust gossip and that it's likely someone is being hurt. I'll have none of that thanks.
When someone tells you bad things about several people you'd start to have doubts anyway, right? Maybe even think "I wonder what you day about me"."
That's so true, and that's how I feel. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I make my own judgment on people off the back off how they treat me you can never tell a full story just by seeing one hafe off it
If it’s desplayed in public I will however take a mental note to my self and be very cosuse and warry off that person |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I make my own judgment on people off the back off how they treat me you can never tell a full story just by seeing one hafe off it
If it’s desplayed in public I will however take a mental note to my self and be very cosuse and warry off that person "
Absolutely. But then you've seen it for yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm big and ugly enough to work people our myself tbh and I'm pretty good at it, it's my job. When other people talk shit or try to rubbish another person I always ask myself what their motivation is and that generally leads me to disregard what they're saying. Especially on fab, it usually involves some form of jealousy or insecurity. It's rare when people say something the other way and actually recommend or compliment another person, but in this case I'm more likely to listen although I'll still use my own judgement to work out if their recommendation is worthy. I guess life has a lot of shit to stir but the stirrer ultimately licks the spoon so I always found it's best to stay independent and stay above it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm big and ugly enough to work people our myself tbh and I'm pretty good at it, it's my job. When other people talk shit or try to rubbish another person I always ask myself what their motivation is and that generally leads me to disregard what they're saying. Especially on fab, it usually involves some form of jealousy or insecurity. It's rare when people say something the other way and actually recommend or compliment another person, but in this case I'm more likely to listen although I'll still use my own judgement to work out if their recommendation is worthy. I guess life has a lot of shit to stir but the stirrer ultimately licks the spoon so I always found it's best to stay independent and stay above it "
shock horror I agree with you!
If it’s a negative thing that will make me more wary of the person who said it and not the person they said it about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I make my own judgment on people off the back off how they treat me you can never tell a full story just by seeing one hafe off it
If it’s desplayed in public I will however take a mental note to my self and be very cosuse and warry off that person
Absolutely. But then you've seen it for yourself."
Yes that’s why I would be cosuse and warry off them
I don’t get why people start roomers or gossip xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm big and ugly enough to work people our myself tbh and I'm pretty good at it, it's my job. When other people talk shit or try to rubbish another person I always ask myself what their motivation is and that generally leads me to disregard what they're saying. Especially on fab, it usually involves some form of jealousy or insecurity. It's rare when people say something the other way and actually recommend or compliment another person, but in this case I'm more likely to listen although I'll still use my own judgement to work out if their recommendation is worthy. I guess life has a lot of shit to stir but the stirrer ultimately licks the spoon so I always found it's best to stay independent and stay above it shock horror I agree with you!
If it’s a negative thing that will make me more wary of the person who said it and not the person they said it about. "
I agree with a lot of things you say too  |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I'm big and ugly enough to work people our myself tbh and I'm pretty good at it, it's my job. When other people talk shit or try to rubbish another person I always ask myself what their motivation is and that generally leads me to disregard what they're saying. Especially on fab, it usually involves some form of jealousy or insecurity. It's rare when people say something the other way and actually recommend or compliment another person, but in this case I'm more likely to listen although I'll still use my own judgement to work out if their recommendation is worthy. I guess life has a lot of shit to stir but the stirrer ultimately licks the spoon so I always found it's best to stay independent and stay above it "
That's a good point about people not recommending or complimenting others.
It probably doesn't happen very often at all, although I do know it has in a few cases. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm big and ugly enough to work people our myself tbh and I'm pretty good at it, it's my job. When other people talk shit or try to rubbish another person I always ask myself what their motivation is and that generally leads me to disregard what they're saying. Especially on fab, it usually involves some form of jealousy or insecurity. It's rare when people say something the other way and actually recommend or compliment another person, but in this case I'm more likely to listen although I'll still use my own judgement to work out if their recommendation is worthy. I guess life has a lot of shit to stir but the stirrer ultimately licks the spoon so I always found it's best to stay independent and stay above it shock horror I agree with you!
If it’s a negative thing that will make me more wary of the person who said it and not the person they said it about.
I agree with a lot of things you say too "
We’ve had our moments haven’t we  . I’m sure we’ll have more! |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"People say there's no secret cliques spreading malicious gossip............."
I wouldn't say secret cliques.... but I would say groups of people. Or pairs of people.
The same off fab as on fab. I didn't necessarily mean on here to be fair. |
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I use my own experience of people and how much I believe what they say to help form a picture yes.
If there are people who's judgement I trust I may ask them "what impression do you have of XYZ?"
Ultimately though, I'm well aware there are always 2 or more sides to everything, so I'll use the info I have in front of me, along with gut instinct and my own logic.
If there seems to have been major drama tho, especially with multiple people or more than one person saying the same thing, I ain't down for that and use it as a warning sign. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having a muse about the nature of people, and of conversation, gossip and all sorts.
I'm not talking about what people say about you.... I'm talking about what they say about others.
Do you make your own judgement on a person and your experience of them is the only way it changes, or does what others say about them easily colour your thinking?"
Tbh i dont listen to gossip i take people on how I find them, and make my own judgements. I soon spot a fake |
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I try and make my own mind up about people. But I'm not only to lie it's hard not to listen to others gossip so it may make me a bit more cautious until I've made my own mind up. I do tend to query what advantage those who gossip gain from telling me. I don't really believe in a free lunch.
But ultimately I believe that if someone is willing to gossip about someone to you, I'm sure they will end up doing to the same about you in the long run. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"That's a good point about people not recommending or complimenting others.
It probably doesn't happen very often at all, although I do know it has in a few cases."
To be fair I often hear good things said about others that way too, maybe not as much as bad things, but still hear them all the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People say there's no secret cliques spreading malicious gossip.............
I wouldn't say secret cliques.... but I would say groups of people. Or pairs of people.
The same off fab as on fab. I didn't necessarily mean on here to be fair."
I meant both on here and also unfortunately people I have to work with. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"People say there's no secret cliques spreading malicious gossip............."
They do...not sure who they're trying to kid - think we've all been on the receiving at one time or another (am certainly aware of some fairly laughable things that have been said about me) |
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For me it’s, not everyone gets on with each other, so there will be differences in opinion on another individual. Make up your own mind through your own interaction with them.
I’m not that trustful of others here or elsewhere that are so readily open to talk about other people to you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is gossip viewed so negatively?
It's just the passing on or sharing social chit chat
The majority of people do it "
Depends if it’s spiteful and/or untrue I guess? |
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"Why is gossip viewed so negatively?
It's just the passing on or sharing social chit chat
The majority of people do it "
For me gossip is sharing personal information, secrets of another or sometimes spreading of misinformation in a malicious way. Social chit chat is, such and such got a new job last week or asking after an old colleague |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is gossip viewed so negatively?
It's just the passing on or sharing social chit chat
The majority of people do it
Depends if it’s spiteful and/or untrue I guess? "
So talking about/passing comment on other people is only acceptable if it's nice things being said?
I just don't think that's how people interact most times |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can be hard on here as some people just lie! I give most people the benefit of the doubt but have learnt the hard way to listen to warnings...I didnt and got burnt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is gossip viewed so negatively?
It's just the passing on or sharing social chit chat
The majority of people do it
Depends if it’s spiteful and/or untrue I guess? "
Exactly.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is gossip viewed so negatively?
It's just the passing on or sharing social chit chat
The majority of people do it
Depends if it’s spiteful and/or untrue I guess?
So talking about/passing comment on other people is only acceptable if it's nice things being said?
I just don't think that's how people interact most times "
Well surely it should be.
Why would you pass nasty comments? What’s the purpose? |
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"Why is gossip viewed so negatively?
It's just the passing on or sharing social chit chat
The majority of people do it "
Because gossip typically involves information that is not confirmed as being true. Gossip is usually information that you wouldn't say in front of the person being gossiped about. Chit chat is a totally different thing |
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"Why is gossip viewed so negatively?
It's just the passing on or sharing social chit chat
The majority of people do it
Depends if it’s spiteful and/or untrue I guess?
So talking about/passing comment on other people is only acceptable if it's nice things being said?
I just don't think that's how people interact most times
Well surely it should be.
Why would you pass nasty comments? What’s the purpose? "
I fucking would.
If I went on a meet and that person was pushy or whatever, I ain't gonna keep it to myself. I don't want my friends finding themselves in the same situation or God forbid worse. Or if they're behaviour changed when under the influence, I may say something like "sound when sober, just watch em when they've had a drink"
I don't think I'm a cunt for that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is gossip viewed so negatively?
It's just the passing on or sharing social chit chat
The majority of people do it
Depends if it’s spiteful and/or untrue I guess?
So talking about/passing comment on other people is only acceptable if it's nice things being said?
I just don't think that's how people interact most times
Well surely it should be.
Why would you pass nasty comments? What’s the purpose?
I fucking would.
If I went on a meet and that person was pushy or whatever, I ain't gonna keep it to myself. I don't want my friends finding themselves in the same situation or God forbid worse. Or if they're behaviour changed when under the influence, I may say something like "sound when sober, just watch em when they've had a drink"
I don't think I'm a cunt for that "
That's not gossip though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is gossip viewed so negatively?
It's just the passing on or sharing social chit chat
The majority of people do it
Depends if it’s spiteful and/or untrue I guess?
So talking about/passing comment on other people is only acceptable if it's nice things being said?
I just don't think that's how people interact most times
Well surely it should be.
Why would you pass nasty comments? What’s the purpose?
I fucking would.
If I went on a meet and that person was pushy or whatever, I ain't gonna keep it to myself. I don't want my friends finding themselves in the same situation or God forbid worse. Or if they're behaviour changed when under the influence, I may say something like "sound when sober, just watch em when they've had a drink"
I don't think I'm a cunt for that "
That’s different though surely? That’s safeguarding others with factual information?
For me gossip is unfounded rumours... |
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Unfortunately, the many different personalities here on fab and the way they come across during social interaction, will always lead to clashes and differences of opinion that will be shared amongst others.
I’m well aware I have been a topic of discussion behind the scenes at times because the boomerang came back to me! (As it were)
I think it was inaswingdress that made a comment sometime ago about sticking with ‘safe’ people she felt were like minded and that’s now what I tend to do. I avoid those who are prone to whip up a storm. |
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"Why is gossip viewed so negatively?
It's just the passing on or sharing social chit chat
The majority of people do it
Depends if it’s spiteful and/or untrue I guess?
So talking about/passing comment on other people is only acceptable if it's nice things being said?
I just don't think that's how people interact most times
Well surely it should be.
Why would you pass nasty comments? What’s the purpose?
I fucking would.
If I went on a meet and that person was pushy or whatever, I ain't gonna keep it to myself. I don't want my friends finding themselves in the same situation or God forbid worse. Or if they're behaviour changed when under the influence, I may say something like "sound when sober, just watch em when they've had a drink"
I don't think I'm a cunt for that
That's not gossip though"
Anything can be considered gossip if the other person wasn't there. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
May listen to what I've heard or been told but always make my own opinion as people may act way they do to certain people but have a valid reason to but if they act differently to myself I'd still make my own opinion and leave it at that... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why is gossip viewed so negatively?
It's just the passing on or sharing social chit chat
The majority of people do it
Depends if it’s spiteful and/or untrue I guess?
So talking about/passing comment on other people is only acceptable if it's nice things being said?
I just don't think that's how people interact most times
Well surely it should be.
Why would you pass nasty comments? What’s the purpose?
I fucking would.
If I went on a meet and that person was pushy or whatever, I ain't gonna keep it to myself. I don't want my friends finding themselves in the same situation or God forbid worse. Or if they're behaviour changed when under the influence, I may say something like "sound when sober, just watch em when they've had a drink"
I don't think I'm a cunt for that
That's not gossip though
Anything can be considered gossip if the other person wasn't there."
It's a fact if it's true. If it's made up or malicious or pedalled second hand then its not to be taken as fact and it becomes gossip imho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why is gossip viewed so negatively?
It's just the passing on or sharing social chit chat
The majority of people do it
Depends if it’s spiteful and/or untrue I guess?
So talking about/passing comment on other people is only acceptable if it's nice things being said?
I just don't think that's how people interact most times
Well surely it should be.
Why would you pass nasty comments? What’s the purpose? "
I talk to friends about loads of people for various reasons ( I'm not talking about a fab context here). Just because the things I say aren't always nice, doesn't mean they're nasty. Often it's just opinions |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've always thought that my friends should be allowed to speak about their own feelings and experiences of other people. But if someone is gossiping a lot in order to manipulate me into believing their way of thinking of whomever they are talking about, I become very wary. I think that draws the line and I don't want to be part of any bullying. I like to make up my own mind about people and I know that there are always two sides to a story and that being gossiped about can be extremely painful and betraying. If you don’t want it done to you, you would not do it to others. Because it's not nice. I don’t always trust the person who gossips, friend or no friend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I make my own judgements on people...And if people judge me on whatever other people say have said then they aren't people I want to be associated with or know
Too many want to stick the knife in while their cronies twist it around and about online and in real life |
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"Why is gossip viewed so negatively?
It's just the passing on or sharing social chit chat
The majority of people do it
Depends if it’s spiteful and/or untrue I guess?
So talking about/passing comment on other people is only acceptable if it's nice things being said?
I just don't think that's how people interact most times
Well surely it should be.
Why would you pass nasty comments? What’s the purpose?
I fucking would.
If I went on a meet and that person was pushy or whatever, I ain't gonna keep it to myself. I don't want my friends finding themselves in the same situation or God forbid worse. Or if they're behaviour changed when under the influence, I may say something like "sound when sober, just watch em when they've had a drink"
I don't think I'm a cunt for that
That's not gossip though
Anything can be considered gossip if the other person wasn't there.
It's a fact if it's true. If it's made up or malicious or pedalled second hand then its not to be taken as fact and it becomes gossip imho"
So if I tell MY friend, but then one of their friends mentions meeting that person and my mate tells their mate the exact same info word for word, its no longer fact even though it's the exact same information, it's gossip that shouldn't be considered?
Yet if they told their friend to message me directly and ask me themselves it's back to fact again? Even though I may not even know their mate, just know we share a friendship with the same person?
A lot comes down to what does someone have to gain by sharing the information and how trustworthy that person seems.
Another angle, if I was seemingly going off the rails a bit, and a couple of my mates had noticed and had a chat about it, if not consider them gossiping about me. I'd consider it being concerned for my welfare.
Again. Intentions
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I tend to listen to other people with an open mind, then make my own mind up. I generally judge people on how they treat me but if a few trusted people all say the same then it would be foolish to ignore their experiences.
I wouldn't use a tradesperson that I've been warned off, so why would I have a friendship or relationship with someone like that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to find it says more about the person telling the story than who it is actually about. I take people at face value and make my own decisions about them |
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No never and just opinion and it is there point of you. This is simply because I’ve always been judged from childhood and you should never take things at face value.
There’s always a reason why people are what do you are and if you are willing to listen you just may be fine out |
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