FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > When is it time to mind your own fucking business?
When is it time to mind your own fucking business?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you feel its your civic duty to tell other ppl about their weight or drinking habits or sexual activity, for example?
When would you intervene and when would you mind your own business? Are we becoming a nation of interfering body-bodies or are we more inward looking? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nope. I don’t interfere in other people’s lives and relationships and I don’t take kindly to people interfering in mine x"
I'm going to echo Nora's words because they are perfect (and save me typing ) |
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If you have genuine concerns I don't see it as interference. If the subject is approached with care and compassion, if it's clear the intentions are good ones rather than berating shaming ones then it's sound in my book.
There's a world of difference between "knocking em back ain't ya" whilst looking down your nose at someone and "I'm gonna say something now, I need you to know it's coming from a loving place. I've noticed the alcohol intake has increased and I'm not gonna lie, it's starting to worry me. Are you ok?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if someone i cared about was causing themselves health problems or harm then I'd talk to them. And if someone on fab asked advice and I was able to help I'd give some advice, but I'd never put anyone down or make them feel bad about what was happening to them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends who it is. If it's a complete stranger, I'd leave them to it and live their own live. If it's someone close to me and I was genuinely worried about them, then I'd say something.
My brother had a stroke a 33 years old because he had high blood pressure, a poor diet and was overweight. I knew these things but let him live his life because I didn't want to interfere. And now I can't help but think that had I said something or asked him how he was coping with everything, it might have prevented it from happening.
If they're saying it in a judgemental way, they can do one, but if it comes from a place of love, it can be useful to listen to |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
I would only ever intervene if I thought that the person could benefit from it could learn something which they were unaware of but I wouldn't use a direct approach to offend another as this is not in me... |
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"Do you feel its your civic duty to tell other ppl about their weight or drinking habits or sexual activity, for example?
When would you intervene and when would you mind your own business? Are we becoming a nation of interfering body-bodies or are we more inward looking? "
Well here's the thing.
People are very quick to criticize others these days and jump at the chance to put people down, ironically I have noticed that the one's that take the greatest offence to their flaws being pointed out are usually the worst culprits for criticizing others.
Many times over the years I have been working in places where people think it's fine to talk to you like a piece of shit yet god forbid you defend yourself they fly off the handle.
Usually school reception's, doctor's receptionists . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I usually mind my own business. But if something is ringing alarm bells I'll step in and say something even if I have no right to get involved.
What if you see someone hitting their kid? Or someone being bullied? Sometimes it is good to stick your nose in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wish people hadn't minded their own business when I was getting dragged across a car park by my hair, but ya know...
Not their monkey, not their problem."
Some things you really shouldn't ignore, sounds like one of them..
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Any sort of bullying or violence I witness means I am wading in regardless of the people doing it.
My close friends yes I will voice an opinion on something I am concerned about regarding their lives, but they know I am not going to ram it down their throats and nag them incessantly and I expect the same treatment from them as well. |
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If they're a stranger and what they are doing isn't detrimentally affecting anyone but themselves then why would I get involved?
There'd be a lot less grief in this world if people could just live and let people live and try and stop imposing their own opinions and standards on everyone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it’s someone I know and love them if they ask for my opinion I’ll give it, if it’s getting to a point of anger then I’ll have a discussion about it, because I care for them.
Strangers? It’s not my place or anybody else’s place to tell strangers what to do with their lives. I can have an opinion, but opinions don’t always need to be expressed. Sometimes they’re best off left in your head! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wish people hadn't minded their own business when I was getting dragged across a car park by my hair, but ya know...
Not their monkey, not their problem."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not a doctor, so shouldn't be giving anyone medical advice. If they were a close friend and I could see they were struggling, I'd advise them to seek help and support them in doing so, but for a stranger? No, it's not my place at all. They just want to get on with their day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wish people hadn't minded their own business when I was getting dragged across a car park by my hair, but ya know...
Not their monkey, not their problem."
This sounds quite different, and something I'd definitely intervene with if I could have. Sorry you went through that x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I usually mind my own business. But if something is ringing alarm bells I'll step in and say something even if I have no right to get involved.
What if you see someone hitting their kid? Or someone being bullied? Sometimes it is good to stick your nose in. "
Yes, you’re absolutely right. I change my answer to not unless someone is in danger. |
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"Do you feel its your civic duty to tell other ppl about their weight or drinking habits or sexual activity, for example?
When would you intervene and when would you mind your own business? Are we becoming a nation of interfering body-bodies or are we more inward looking? "
I would say something to my partner, sibling or very close friend if I was genuinely concerned. But colleges, randoms or strangers that’s none of my business, If it’s not directly effecting me.
E xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd help a total stranger if they were in danger on the street... In fact I've inserted myself between random attacker and victim a few times
One of my friends is an alcoholic... So i certainly take more interest in their life choices
Otherwise, crack on with your life choices |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have never understood why people feel the need to comment on other people's lives. If someone asks for my advice, im happy to give it. Otherwise I keep my nose out and appreciate the same from others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have never understood why people feel the need to comment on other people's lives. If someone asks for my advice, im happy to give it. Otherwise I keep my nose out and appreciate the same from others "
This is why I listen to them though as it will probably tell me more about the person doing the commenting. |
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By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
This is two fold really, for instance I wouldn't feel right if I saw someone being hurt and didn't say or do something although that has backfired interfering in domestics in the past I would still help, but I also would not judge unless I knew the whole story in less emergency situations or another way of putting it is "never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd help a total stranger if they were in danger on the street... In fact I've inserted myself between random attacker and victim a few times
One of my friends is an alcoholic... So i certainly take more interest in their life choices
Otherwise, crack on with your life choices "
It's a tricky one and I fully understand why most would turn away. If I see the threat of immediate harm, I have stepped in before now, but it can bite you in the bum. Between lockdowns my neighbour got into a domestic row with his partner's brother which led to them coming to blows in the street. I split them up but they were as bad as each other and it was as much as I could do to keep them apart until Plod arrived. The neighbour, who was pissed up, has since apologised but it has soured relations somewhat.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d like to think that those close to me would intervene If they thought I was doing genuine damage to my health. So I wouldn’t mind my own business and at least open a gentle conversation about it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In regards to drinking, I have and would again, tell a person close to me that I am concerned.
I probably would for sexual habit and weight as well if it was a sibling/close family member and I was worried about their mental health.
Just random people or acquaintances? Nah, none of my fucking business. |
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