Leading on from another thread.
Dear people of all genders, relax!
It had become hugely apparent that there's too much pressure on orgasms.
Not bringing your sexual parter to orgasm doesn't mean you've done something wrong.
Faking orgasms doesn't do anyone any favours in the long run. The amount of men who say "I've never failed yet".
Erm, first up it ain't a fail.
Secondly, I'm willing to bet you've been faked on.
That could be for a number of reasons.
*they didn't want you to feel bad about it
*they weren't enjoying it and wanted it over with
*you frightened them. Yes, saying things like you'd be angry or pissed off if you didn't MAKE the woman cum isn't exactly relaxing and putting the lady at ease. They don't wanna deal with someone that resembles a stroppy teen!
I'm guilty of feeling like a fail if it seems to be taking an eternity or doesn't happen at all, but let's take a moment to remind ourselves there are many reasons it doesn't happen.
*stress
*I'm guessing diet may have an impact
*medication
*other medical reasons
*over fucking thinking
*pressure to perform or reach that bastard orgasm
*ambiance/location
*alcohol
*tiredness
So guys and gals, take the pressure off yourselves and each other. Understand it ain't always gonna happen and there's no need to blame, feel inadequate or feel cheated out of it.
It's not a competition, it's not porn ffs. If we show a little more grown up understanding, then maybe we'll enjoy the overall experience more than expected.
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"Leading on from another thread.
Dear people of all genders, relax!
It had become hugely apparent that there's too much pressure on orgasms.
Not bringing your sexual parter to orgasm doesn't mean you've done something wrong.
Faking orgasms doesn't do anyone any favours in the long run. The amount of men who say "I've never failed yet".
Erm, first up it ain't a fail.
Secondly, I'm willing to bet you've been faked on.
That could be for a number of reasons.
*they didn't want you to feel bad about it
*they weren't enjoying it and wanted it over with
*you frightened them. Yes, saying things like you'd be angry or pissed off if you didn't MAKE the woman cum isn't exactly relaxing and putting the lady at ease. They don't wanna deal with someone that resembles a stroppy teen!
I'm guilty of feeling like a fail if it seems to be taking an eternity or doesn't happen at all, but let's take a moment to remind ourselves there are many reasons it doesn't happen.
*stress
*I'm guessing diet may have an impact
*medication
*other medical reasons
*over fucking thinking
*pressure to perform or reach that bastard orgasm
*ambiance/location
*alcohol
*tiredness
So guys and gals, take the pressure off yourselves and each other. Understand it ain't always gonna happen and there's no need to blame, feel inadequate or feel cheated out of it.
It's not a competition, it's not porn ffs. If we show a little more grown up understanding, then maybe we'll enjoy the overall experience more than expected.
"
As usual OP you are bang on!  |
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Spot on.
Just enjoy the time with each other with no expectations, just relax, no one is there to ‘perform’ or be scored. There are so many ways to enjoy pleasure with each other without that culminating in an orgasm. |
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Almost anyone can run a 100m sprint. Isn't there more pleasure to be gained from running a marathon and all the feelings you have along the way even if you don't cross the finish line.
Give me the marathon and the competitors you run with along the way any day, if you or they cross the finish line then brilliant but give me the prolonged pleasure and the memories of it even if you don't any day thankyou.
Well said Peach, as ever you are a fountain of great advice and common sense. |
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"You really should be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize Peach  "
I've been on both sides of the coin.
I've had chaps make me bleed coz they've got so rough trying to force it, and I've been left thinking "maybe they've gone off me, maybe I'm losing my touch" when my partner hasn't cum.
Should meditate or something before and after  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Spot on as always my friend - so often sex seems to be about targets for some...how long, how hard, how many etc are all things we see here perpetually.
Good sex isn't about any of those, it's the simple thing of two people coming (not cumming!!) together and going with the flow, wherever that takes them, with the only aims being mutual pleasure, walking away with smiles on their faces and wanting to do it again - achieve that and you've had good sex.
I hold my hand up and say there are times I've stressed about performance and whether I've been "good enough" and some of that has been pressure I've put on myself through false perceptions and some of it has been a feeling of inadequacy as a result of other influences, but I've come to realise and accept that the only things that matter are those I mentioned above - if we're all smiling at the end of it, then I'm happy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is a huge amount of pressure on men to give pleasure. Pick out any 5 female accounts on here and I reckon 3 will say the words "knows what's he's doing/ knows how to use it".
Every man knows how to use it for our own ends, so they don't mean that do they? They mean use it to be able to give ME pleasure, and when men think pleasure, the pinnacle of pleasure is what? An orgasm.
Pressure doesn't start with us, we know how to use our penis for our own needs, it's so simple we can do it with one hand and our eyes shut, but to be useful sexually to a female we need to be able to do far more than that straight from the off.
Be honest, how many women have ever invited a man who was useless in bed back to have another go? I bet there aren't many.
You also need to realise that there is huge mental impact on men who feel they cant give sexual pleasure and everytime it happens it has an impact on top of an impact on top of an impact and usually starts right from the beginning of their sexual life. It just piles pressure on top of pressure.
Conversations need to happen to stop people feeling pressure over orgasm definitely, but that pressure on here can inadvertently be started before a man even speaks to you simply because of what you have put on your profile.
When someone say "knows how to use it" it can easily be translated into "I've had loads that don't, be better". And what is that? Pressure and not only pressure, it creates competition between that person and the past people...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is a huge amount of pressure on men to give pleasure. Pick out any 5 female accounts on here and I reckon 3 will say the words "knows what's he's doing/ knows how to use it".
Every man knows how to use it for our own ends, so they don't mean that do they? They mean use it to be able to give ME pleasure, and when men think pleasure, the pinnacle of pleasure is what? An orgasm.
Pressure doesn't start with us, we know how to use our penis for our own needs, it's so simple we can do it with one hand and our eyes shut, but to be useful sexually to a female we need to be able to do far more than that straight from the off.
Be honest, how many women have ever invited a man who was useless in bed back to have another go? I bet there aren't many.
You also need to realise that there is huge mental impact on men who feel they cant give sexual pleasure and everytime it happens it has an impact on top of an impact on top of an impact and usually starts right from the beginning of their sexual life. It just piles pressure on top of pressure.
Conversations need to happen to stop people feeling pressure over orgasm definitely, but that pressure on here can inadvertently be started before a man even speaks to you simply because of what you have put on your profile.
When someone say "knows how to use it" it can easily be translated into "I've had loads that don't, be better". And what is that? Pressure and not only pressure, it creates competition between that person and the past people...
"
I think it goes both ways.
Pressure is put on both genders.
Just look at the thread on here about a woman who doesn’t orgasm, quite a few men posted seeing it as a “challenge” which is quite scary and many of us have come across a man like that.
Nobody should be pressured into performing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There is a huge amount of pressure on men to give pleasure. Pick out any 5 female accounts on here and I reckon 3 will say the words "knows what's he's doing/ knows how to use it".
Every man knows how to use it for our own ends, so they don't mean that do they? They mean use it to be able to give ME pleasure, and when men think pleasure, the pinnacle of pleasure is what? An orgasm.
Pressure doesn't start with us, we know how to use our penis for our own needs, it's so simple we can do it with one hand and our eyes shut, but to be useful sexually to a female we need to be able to do far more than that straight from the off.
Be honest, how many women have ever invited a man who was useless in bed back to have another go? I bet there aren't many.
You also need to realise that there is huge mental impact on men who feel they cant give sexual pleasure and everytime it happens it has an impact on top of an impact on top of an impact and usually starts right from the beginning of their sexual life. It just piles pressure on top of pressure.
Conversations need to happen to stop people feeling pressure over orgasm definitely, but that pressure on here can inadvertently be started before a man even speaks to you simply because of what you have put on your profile.
When someone say "knows how to use it" it can easily be translated into "I've had loads that don't, be better". And what is that? Pressure and not only pressure, it creates competition between that person and the past people...
I think it goes both ways.
Pressure is put on both genders.
Just look at the thread on here about a woman who doesn’t orgasm, quite a few men posted seeing it as a “challenge” which is quite scary and many of us have come across a man like that.
Nobody should be pressured into performing. "
Yeah I agree that men simply seeing it as something to conquer is wrong! |
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"There is a huge amount of pressure on men to give pleasure. Pick out any 5 female accounts on here and I reckon 3 will say the words "knows what's he's doing/ knows how to use it".
Every man knows how to use it for our own ends, so they don't mean that do they? They mean use it to be able to give ME pleasure, and when men think pleasure, the pinnacle of pleasure is what? An orgasm.
Pressure doesn't start with us, we know how to use our penis for our own needs, it's so simple we can do it with one hand and our eyes shut, but to be useful sexually to a female we need to be able to do far more than that straight from the off.
Be honest, how many women have ever invited a man who was useless in bed back to have another go? I bet there aren't many.
You also need to realise that there is huge mental impact on men who feel they cant give sexual pleasure and everytime it happens it has an impact on top of an impact on top of an impact and usually starts right from the beginning of their sexual life. It just piles pressure on top of pressure.
Conversations need to happen to stop people feeling pressure over orgasm definitely, but that pressure on here can inadvertently be started before a man even speaks to you simply because of what you have put on your profile.
When someone say "knows how to use it" it can easily be translated into "I've had loads that don't, be better". And what is that? Pressure and not only pressure, it creates competition between that person and the past people...
I think it goes both ways.
Pressure is put on both genders.
Just look at the thread on here about a woman who doesn’t orgasm, quite a few men posted seeing it as a “challenge” which is quite scary and many of us have come across a man like that.
Nobody should be pressured into performing.
Yeah I agree that men simply seeing it as something to conquer is wrong! "
Exactly, we *all* need to be more mindful and think.
From the football changing rooms to giggling gossip, from profiles demanding godlike performance to those guaranteeing it, it's all just another form of pressure, internal, external, none of it's beneficial |
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Thankyou x
