FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Red Dwarf
Red Dwarf
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
'I'll just recalibrate the time gauntlet and send myself back, so we can get ourselves into the mess we're now In. All in all this day's been a bit of a bummer hasn't it. sir.'
(The Inquisitior) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The Cat
"Hey, I feel good."
Stands in front of mirror.
"Hey, I look good too!"
When Lister's cantaloupe sized (whatever it was) thing on his head burst all over Cat.
"Red and green don't go together, just kill me now" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nothing wrong with dog's milk. Full of goodness, full of vitamins, full of marrowbone jelly. Lasts longer than any other milk, dog's milk."
PaaaaahahahaHAHAHA omg I love him |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I know it's long but I loved this scene.
Kryten : I ask the court one key question: Would the Space Core ever have allowed this man to be in a position of authority where he might endanger the entire crew? A man so petty and small minded, he would while away his evenings sewing name labels onto his ship issue condoms. A man of such awesome stupidity...
Rimmer : Objection.
Justice Computer voice : Objection overruled.
Kryten : ...a man of such awesome stupidity, he even objects to his own defence counsel. An over-zealous, trumped up little squirt...
Rimmer : Objection.
Justice Computer voice : Overruled.
Kryten : ...an incompetent vending machine repairman with a Napoleon complex, who commanded as much respect and affection from his fellow crew members as Long John Silver's parrot.
Rimmer : OBJECTION.
Justice Computer voice : If you object to your own counsel once more Mr. Rimmer, you will be in contempt.
Kryten : Who would allow this man, this joke of a man, this man who could not outwit a used tea bag, to be in a position where he might endanger the entire crew? Who? Only a yoghurt. This man is not guilty of manslaughter, he is only guilty of being Arnold J. Rimmer. That is his crime; it is also his punishment. The defence rests. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
Lister:
Look, I don't want any toast, and he doesn't want any toast. In fact, no-one around 'ere wants any toast!
Talkie Toaster:
How 'bout a muffin?
Lister:
Or muffins, we don't like muffins round 'ere! We don't want muffins, no toast, buns, baps, bagets or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no teacakes, no potato cakes and no hot cross buns! And definitely no smegging flapjacks!
Talkie Toaster (after a very brief pause):
Ah, so you're a waffle man!
Dwarf fact...the voice of talkie toaster is actually the actor that played the original Kryten in his first appearance in series 2.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I tell you one thing. I've been to a parallel universe, I've seen time running backwards, I've played pool with planets, and I've given birth to twins, but I never thought in my entire life I'd taste an edible Pot Noodle |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Cat:
“Hey, this has been a really good day. I’ve eaten five times, I’ve slept six times, and I’ve made a lot of things mine. Tomorrow, I’m going to see if I can have sex with something!” |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Last time we met I was wearing a cute little black number with peach trim and gold spangles, and although it looks like I'm wearing the same outfit today, it is in fact an entirely different cute little black number, with completely different gold spangles! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cat:
“Hey, this has been a really good day. I’ve eaten five times, I’ve slept six times, and I’ve made a lot of things mine. Tomorrow, I’m going to see if I can have sex with something!”"
It’s the plot of my life  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Pub." Ah, yes: a meeting place where people attempt to achieve advanced states of mental incompetence by the repeated consumption of fermented vegetable drinks |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Pub." Ah, yes: a meeting place where people attempt to achieve advanced states of mental incompetence by the repeated consumption of fermented vegetable drinks"
"Fun" - ah yes, the employment of time in a profitless and non-practical way... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
(Lister) "Hang on. You can't do this. Holly's got an I.Q. of 6,000."
(Holly) "Yeah. Right on."
(Queeg) "Is that what he told you?"
(Lister) "Well what is it, then?"
(Queeg) "It has a six in it, but it's not 6,000."
(The Cat) "What is it?"
(Queeg) "Six."
(Holly) "Six? Do me a lemon. That's a poor I.Q. for a glass of water." |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's the same old story...droid meets droid..droid becomes chameleon... chameleon becomes blob ..blob meets blob ..blob goes off with blob.. droid loses droid chameleon and blob  "
Classic tale |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Rimmer: "Erm, I think we're all beginning to lose sight of the real issue here, which is: what are we going to call ourselves? And I think it comes down to a choice between "The League Against Salivating Monsters," or - and this is my personal preference - "The Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society." Erm, one drawback with that - the abbreviation is C.L.I.T.O.R.I.S. "  "
My fave. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Very apt during these Covid Times
Pete Tranter's Sister : How long has it been since you made love to a woman?
Lister : I admit, it's been a while.
Pete Tranter's Sister : It's been over three million years, Dave.
Lister : I prefer to count it in ice ages, then it's only four. And in leap ice ages, it's barely even one. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I can’t remember what was said but there was a brilliant episode when rimmer explained that he’d planned his whole revision schedule out to pass exams but Lister had coloured a box in on his plan so he’d gone swimming instead of sitting an exam |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
