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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all. I realise Alcohol is a large part of people's lives.
Well my question is this.when is Alcohol too much in a relationship. Please share your experiences, good or bad and has it ever broken up your relationship. Im sure there's plenty of stories to tell us about. |
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I don't know exactly but I would think if one partner is going straight to the drink cabinet after work, insists on getting bladdered every night and can't go a day without a glass of wine gin or beer inside them .. Then you have trouble brewing ..often getting d*unk is a good way of avoiding talking about or facing things that are really bothering you.. Especially for us men.. So we drink to avoid it.. And the irony is that your partner does the same for the same reason.. If it happened to me I would leave.. Pointless trying to continue..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Alcohol was the sole reason I left my ex. Nightmare. Functioning alcoholic is so much harder to identify and making them see the alcoholism still isn’t ok just because they function. |
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"I don't know exactly but I would think if one partner is going straight to the drink cabinet after work, insists on getting bladdered every night and can't go a day without a glass of wine gin or beer inside them .. Then you have trouble brewing ..often getting d*unk is a good way of avoiding talking about or facing things that are really bothering you.. Especially for us men.. So we drink to avoid it.. And the irony is that your partner does the same for the same reason.. If it happened to me I would leave.. Pointless trying to continue..
"
It's not about getting d*unk.
Sometimes it's prioritising alcohol. You don't need to get pissed up to have a problem.
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Have no personal experience with alcohol as I don't drink and never have done ever but I've seen too many people over the years who use it as a crutch.
I know people who have lost jobs and families as a result including a friend who told me 35 years ago that I wasn't a real man if I didn't have a drink. That was while I was rescuing him from yet another fuck up and getting him home safely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Alcohol was the sole reason I left my ex. Nightmare. Functioning alcoholic is so much harder to identify and making them see the alcoholism still isn’t ok just because they function. "
This absolutely.
It's worse and you get accused of overreacting because that person can't possibly have an issue, they work they function normally. It is a lonely road to walk down with someone because alcohol comes first, your own needs when it suits.
Alchohol is a far more dangerous than any class A narcotic out there imho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep!
I won't meet people that drink regularly now based on the behaviour of my ex, and I'm genuinely fearful of those who drink and consider it "the norm"
I've always considered drinking something you do socially if meeting with friends.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well a bit off piste but my dad who’s 71 who lives with me drinks a litre of vodka a day it’s his thing his vice and as he always tells me it’s his choice hes lived his life and now has nothing else to do so that’s his thing vodka, westerns and old movies he dose it mainly through boredom but there’s nothing he can do during lockdown although even when out of lockdown he still drinks a lot
He’s not violent just struggles a little but when it’s your thing it’s your thing just glad he’s no longer got his licence or a car lol
So I guess what I’m saying is for some it’s a way to survive the days and get through the rest of there life as long as it dosent hurt or affect others then it’s there choice and really no one should judge as the same could be said for smokers drug takers and alike each to there own vice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Alcohol was the sole reason I left my ex. Nightmare. Functioning alcoholic is so much harder to identify and making them see the alcoholism still isn’t ok just because they function.
This absolutely.
It's worse and you get accused of overreacting because that person can't possibly have an issue, they work they function normally. It is a lonely road to walk down with someone because alcohol comes first, your own needs when it suits.
Alchohol is a far more dangerous than any class A narcotic out there imho "
Yes it’s very draining and you lose a lot of yourself trying to help someone who doesn’t see their issue. Horse to water xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Alcohol was the sole reason I left my ex. Nightmare. Functioning alcoholic is so much harder to identify and making them see the alcoholism still isn’t ok just because they function.
This absolutely.
It's worse and you get accused of overreacting because that person can't possibly have an issue, they work they function normally. It is a lonely road to walk down with someone because alcohol comes first, your own needs when it suits.
Alchohol is a far more dangerous than any class A narcotic out there imho
Yes it’s very draining and you lose a lot of yourself trying to help someone who doesn’t see their issue. Horse to water xx "
So true, hope you are taking care of yourself  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wow I knew there would be some messages sent. I rarely drink really and don't understand people who drink to excess and then need a baby sitter at the end of the night. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My husband was an alcoholic. When we first met I knew he liked a drink, but it got progressively worse over the years. He lost work, got into fights was volatile and I spent my life tip toeing around not to provoke him. He’d promise me he’d stop, which he would do for a while. Then he’d start again and it would be worse. He died 8 years ago at the age of 42.
I always hoped he would stop, get it under control, anything. I tried to get him help but you can’t unless they want it.
Alcohol is insidious and creeps into your life and destroys it. |
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"I don't know exactly but I would think if one partner is going straight to the drink cabinet after work, insists on getting bladdered every night and can't go a day without a glass of wine gin or beer inside them .. Then you have trouble brewing ..often getting d*unk is a good way of avoiding talking about or facing things that are really bothering you.. Especially for us men.. So we drink to avoid it.. And the irony is that your partner does the same for the same reason.. If it happened to me I would leave.. Pointless trying to continue..
It's not about getting d*unk.
Sometimes it's prioritising alcohol. You don't need to get pissed up to have a problem.
"
Not sure what you mean? The point of the thread is about alcohol having an impact on relationships.not whether you have an alcohol problem? . Though I do disagree with you I suggest a lot of people do need to do that to avoid problems in the home . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My husband was an alcoholic. When we first met I knew he liked a drink, but it got progressively worse over the years. He lost work, got into fights was volatile and I spent my life tip toeing around not to provoke him. He’d promise me he’d stop, which he would do for a while. Then he’d start again and it would be worse. He died 8 years ago at the age of 42.
I always hoped he would stop, get it under control, anything. I tried to get him help but you can’t unless they want it.
Alcohol is insidious and creeps into your life and destroys it."
Sorry to hear that and such a young age Aswell xx |
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My ex only drank in the evenings but it was every night of the 25yrs we were together. Fag in one hand, drink in the other sprawled across our 3 searer sofa in front of the tv. Most nights he would fall asleep there and i went to bed alone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My ex only drank in the evenings but it was every night of the 25yrs we were together. Fag in one hand, drink in the other sprawled across our 3 searer sofa in front of the tv. Most nights he would fall asleep there and i went to bed alone. "
 |
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Hi OP
If this post is a sounding board for something you’re starting to experience in your own relationship then I would urge you to seek the help of those who know the untold damage it can do. Seek some advice to help you recognise warning signs and how to handle it.
More importantly... how to recognise where the line is |
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"My ex only drank in the evenings but it was every night of the 25yrs we were together. Fag in one hand, drink in the other sprawled across our 3 searer sofa in front of the tv. Most nights he would fall asleep there and i went to bed alone. "
Hope you've moved on to much happier times and have more of the life you deserve x |
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"My ex only drank in the evenings but it was every night of the 25yrs we were together. Fag in one hand, drink in the other sprawled across our 3 searer sofa in front of the tv. Most nights he would fall asleep there and i went to bed alone.
Hope you've moved on to much happier times and have more of the life you deserve x"
Thanks. I was having a blast before the pandemic so hopefully this will continue once it calms down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Alcohol ended my relationship with my dad. It can consume a person and destroy lives. There's only so much a person can take before you have no choice but to remove that toxicity from your life. If they don't want help, they can't be helped  |
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I'm a recovering alcoholic. Alcohol steals so much from you. I haven't been in a relationship whilst dealing with this issue as it's all consuming and I'm 'smart' enough (maybe the wrong word) to know that I wouldn't want someone else to have to deal with that. I can see how easily it would destroy relationships. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know a few alcoholics who still drink but not regularly. Alcohol, Gambling or taking drugs are the release for people who have problems. Then they deal with what made them unhappy but the addiction is still there like a crutch. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm a recovering alcoholic. Alcohol steals so much from you. I haven't been in a relationship whilst dealing with this issue as it's all consuming and I'm 'smart' enough (maybe the wrong word) to know that I wouldn't want someone else to have to deal with that. I can see how easily it would destroy relationships. "
Wishing you all the luck and strength in your recovery |
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