FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Big age gaps.
Big age gaps.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well I’ve got myself in a pickle haven’t I. Been working in this large popular warehouse since beginning of December and I caught the eye of one of the managers there (why let people that are so young be managers!?) He originally told me he was 26 which was still too young for me but last night he dropped a bollock and said that he is actually only 23 with a birthday coming in the next month.
Now before all the covid police pipe up. I work with this guy 2x a week. We are both compulsory tested on site every 5 days.
I’ve gone back to his a few times early hours after work but only kissed and cuddled with him. Right you can’t understand the power of just being held and cuddled with someone, that’s enough for me. He’s absolutely stunning and he’s Italian, his accent is so fucking sexy. I’ve been to his twice in the evening on a non work week and he’s cooks for me both times (stunning food as well  )I haven’t stayed the night though (my choice) cos I knew I’d end up shagging him!
He is so so complimentary but Italians are charmers, he knows how old I am. He does seem very mature, always asks my daughter which is sweet like he’ll say things like hope you have a lovely night with your daughter and always makes a comment about enjoying my time with her (he has a son back in Italy who he misses deeply as he can’t get out there to see him).
He said last night though that he wants to see me all the time but do I think a big age gap would be a problem, and then confessed he was 23 not 26.
Like what the hell. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Age is just a number. My brother is engaged to a woman 13 years older, longest relationship he has ever had, 10 years and going strong.
Trust your feelings and not a number x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you both like each other, what’s the worst that can happen? In this life, grab happiness when and where you can. It’s not always easy to find.
I’d be more concerned about the work relationship rather than the age difference. If the genders were reversed who’d bat an eyelid? |
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I met a guy 19 yrs older than me and he asked me out.
I said we could go out as friends but we could NEVER be more than than that.
After getting to really kmow him I fell in love with him and we married.
Now..I never say never. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met a guy 19 yrs older than me and he asked me out.
I said we could go out as friends but we could NEVER be more than than that.
After getting to really kmow him I fell in love with him and we married.
Now..I never say never."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lies about age - it's a bit of a red flag, depending when he owned up and was it something you pressed on or he admitted himself. It would bother me a little if I'm honest. Twisting reality to increase chances isn't a good foundation for something meaningful.
I'm not even sure if that's helpful and I'm not certain what are you trying to decide, if anything at all. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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My fiancé is 16 years older than me and it's never been an issue. Perhaps 23 is a bit young but you would know Wilkes, does it seem so?
The only concern would be starting something with a work colleague, especially a manager. |
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My Darling wife is 11 years younger than me. As others have said, ages is but a number.
He is hot. If he gives you fanny flutters. Why not... No harm in having fun. And a girls gotta have fun some time!!
Give or take a pandemic of course.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Age gaps are not a problem but as some one who was once a 23 year old male we are deffiently only worth a shag at that age certainly nothing long term and the saying fuckem and chuckem is very much how me and every male I know lived there life at that age...obviously not every guy is the same and we do grow out of it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The work thing is fine. I’m only a temp so no one would really give a shit the place is so big. He did say lastnight that some of his friends have asked him questions about me cos he always comes over to where I am working and has his breaks with me but he said he’s told them we’re just friends and asked if I was concerned about people asking me questions and if I wanted him to stop coming over to my work station but I said I wasn’t bothered.
It’s odd that everyone I started with on the 4th of December has been laid off yet I’m still there! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Age gaps are not a problem but as some one who was once a 23 year old male we are deffiently only worth a shag at that age certainly nothing long term and the saying fuckem and chuckem is very much how me and every male I know lived there life at that age...obviously not every guy is the same and we do grow out of it. "
Yeah understand that but he’s single, been living here 2 years, on his own, all his family (apart from one cousin who is in uni here), are back in Italy. All he does is work and play Xbox! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Age gaps are not a problem but as some one who was once a 23 year old male we are deffiently only worth a shag at that age certainly nothing long term and the saying fuckem and chuckem is very much how me and every male I know lived there life at that age...obviously not every guy is the same and we do grow out of it.
Yeah understand that but he’s single, been living here 2 years, on his own, all his family (apart from one cousin who is in uni here), are back in Italy. All he does is work and play Xbox! "
not like he can go out for student night and Friday, Saturday and Sunday like we used to so your probably safe while we pubs are shut |
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J here.
I’ve had relationships with 10 years older and 20 years younger.
Wasn’t a problem really.
Becky is 10 years younger than me but we match and that’s the important thing. If you’re supposed to be together, for however long, the age isn’t an issue. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Age gaps are not a problem but as some one who was once a 23 year old male we are deffiently only worth a shag at that age certainly nothing long term and the saying fuckem and chuckem is very much how me and every male I know lived there life at that age...obviously not every guy is the same and we do grow out of it.
Yeah understand that but he’s single, been living here 2 years, on his own, all his family (apart from one cousin who is in uni here), are back in Italy. All he does is work and play Xbox! not like he can go out for student night and Friday, Saturday and Sunday like we used to so your probably safe while we pubs are shut "
Yeah supposed. What is nuts is every rave event I’ve been to in the last two years here he was at them as well! Like he said where he was NYE 2019 and I was like I was there too! Hideout in Croatia, awakenings in Amsterdam, he’d been in these same places that I had been to at the same times (he said them first not like I was saying them and he was like oh me too!) Wants to go raving with me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Age gaps are not a problem but as some one who was once a 23 year old male we are deffiently only worth a shag at that age certainly nothing long term and the saying fuckem and chuckem is very much how me and every male I know lived there life at that age...obviously not every guy is the same and we do grow out of it.
Yeah understand that but he’s single, been living here 2 years, on his own, all his family (apart from one cousin who is in uni here), are back in Italy. All he does is work and play Xbox! "
I have always said no to younger but had a dalliance with one early in the year and he was attentive, caring and very sexy. If it feels right Annie I say go with it  have some fun! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Age gaps are not a problem but as some one who was once a 23 year old male we are deffiently only worth a shag at that age certainly nothing long term and the saying fuckem and chuckem is very much how me and every male I know lived there life at that age...obviously not every guy is the same and we do grow out of it.
Yeah understand that but he’s single, been living here 2 years, on his own, all his family (apart from one cousin who is in uni here), are back in Italy. All he does is work and play Xbox! not like he can go out for student night and Friday, Saturday and Sunday like we used to so your probably safe while we pubs are shut
Yeah supposed. What is nuts is every rave event I’ve been to in the last two years here he was at them as well! Like he said where he was NYE 2019 and I was like I was there too! Hideout in Croatia, awakenings in Amsterdam, he’d been in these same places that I had been to at the same times (he said them first not like I was saying them and he was like oh me too!) Wants to go raving with me "
don't say words like "hideout in Croatia" during lockdown I'm literally craving being dehydrated and sunburnt again while drinking warm beer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Age gaps are not a problem but as some one who was once a 23 year old male we are deffiently only worth a shag at that age certainly nothing long term and the saying fuckem and chuckem is very much how me and every male I know lived there life at that age...obviously not every guy is the same and we do grow out of it.
Yeah understand that but he’s single, been living here 2 years, on his own, all his family (apart from one cousin who is in uni here), are back in Italy. All he does is work and play Xbox! not like he can go out for student night and Friday, Saturday and Sunday like we used to so your probably safe while we pubs are shut
Yeah supposed. What is nuts is every rave event I’ve been to in the last two years here he was at them as well! Like he said where he was NYE 2019 and I was like I was there too! Hideout in Croatia, awakenings in Amsterdam, he’d been in these same places that I had been to at the same times (he said them first not like I was saying them and he was like oh me too!) Wants to go raving with me "
Why not continue as you are and see how it goes. You don't have to get married, just have some fun. You have things in common. |
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Are you having fun? If so, who cares about the age gap?! It’s all legal and you’re both single.
And it sounds like he’s given you some job security .. Bonus! 
Enjoy yourself and when the fun stops, stop.
Lou x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I’ve got myself in a pickle haven’t I. Been working in this large popular warehouse since beginning of December and I caught the eye of one of the managers there (why let people that are so young be managers!?) He originally told me he was 26 which was still too young for me but last night he dropped a bollock and said that he is actually only 23 with a birthday coming in the next month.
Now before all the covid police pipe up. I work with this guy 2x a week. We are both compulsory tested on site every 5 days.
I’ve gone back to his a few times early hours after work but only kissed and cuddled with him. Right you can’t understand the power of just being held and cuddled with someone, that’s enough for me. He’s absolutely stunning and he’s Italian, his accent is so fucking sexy. I’ve been to his twice in the evening on a non work week and he’s cooks for me both times (stunning food as well )I haven’t stayed the night though (my choice) cos I knew I’d end up shagging him!
He is so so complimentary but Italians are charmers, he knows how old I am. He does seem very mature, always asks my daughter which is sweet like he’ll say things like hope you have a lovely night with your daughter and always makes a comment about enjoying my time with her (he has a son back in Italy who he misses deeply as he can’t get out there to see him).
He said last night though that he wants to see me all the time but do I think a big age gap would be a problem, and then confessed he was 23 not 26.
Like what the hell. "
you go for it.x |
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"Well I’ve got myself in a pickle haven’t I. Been working in this large popular warehouse since beginning of December and I caught the eye of one of the managers there (why let people that are so young be managers!?) He originally told me he was 26 which was still too young for me but last night he dropped a bollock and said that he is actually only 23 with a birthday coming in the next month.
Now before all the covid police pipe up. I work with this guy 2x a week. We are both compulsory tested on site every 5 days.
I’ve gone back to his a few times early hours after work but only kissed and cuddled with him. Right you can’t understand the power of just being held and cuddled with someone, that’s enough for me. He’s absolutely stunning and he’s Italian, his accent is so fucking sexy. I’ve been to his twice in the evening on a non work week and he’s cooks for me both times (stunning food as well )I haven’t stayed the night though (my choice) cos I knew I’d end up shagging him!
He is so so complimentary but Italians are charmers, he knows how old I am. He does seem very mature, always asks my daughter which is sweet like he’ll say things like hope you have a lovely night with your daughter and always makes a comment about enjoying my time with her (he has a son back in Italy who he misses deeply as he can’t get out there to see him).
He said last night though that he wants to see me all the time but do I think a big age gap would be a problem, and then confessed he was 23 not 26.
Like what the hell. "
I don't cuddle my workmates regardless of how much PPE I would be wearing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Annie go for it enjoy yourself, you get on, it's legal, have fun, see where it goes.
While swinging i met a guy 10 years younger than me, we have been together 14 years, married for 8 years. I was worried at first but it's great x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I’ve got myself in a pickle haven’t I. Been working in this large popular warehouse since beginning of December and I caught the eye of one of the managers there (why let people that are so young be managers!?) He originally told me he was 26 which was still too young for me but last night he dropped a bollock and said that he is actually only 23 with a birthday coming in the next month.
Now before all the covid police pipe up. I work with this guy 2x a week. We are both compulsory tested on site every 5 days.
I’ve gone back to his a few times early hours after work but only kissed and cuddled with him. Right you can’t understand the power of just being held and cuddled with someone, that’s enough for me. He’s absolutely stunning and he’s Italian, his accent is so fucking sexy. I’ve been to his twice in the evening on a non work week and he’s cooks for me both times (stunning food as well )I haven’t stayed the night though (my choice) cos I knew I’d end up shagging him!
He is so so complimentary but Italians are charmers, he knows how old I am. He does seem very mature, always asks my daughter which is sweet like he’ll say things like hope you have a lovely night with your daughter and always makes a comment about enjoying my time with her (he has a son back in Italy who he misses deeply as he can’t get out there to see him).
He said last night though that he wants to see me all the time but do I think a big age gap would be a problem, and then confessed he was 23 not 26.
Like what the hell. "
apparently theres a half plus 7 rule - my teen daughter tells me lol - half your own age plus 7 years is the youngest you should go!! so if you are 37 thats 18+7=25 youngest you should go. But who made that rule? Its up to you guys at the end of the day!! |
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I have to say I agree with the generally consensus that age is just a number, sounds like you’ve got similar tastes and you’re both attracted to each other. Lives to short to worry if it’s good at the moment enjoy it xx
16 years between me and Flynn, I don't see the gap anymore most of my friends don't either some of my family were a little dubious but a couple years in and theyve got to know him and he's part of the family now xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Age gaps are not a problem but as some one who was once a 23 year old male we are deffiently only worth a shag at that age certainly nothing long term and the saying fuckem and chuckem is very much how me and every male I know lived there life at that age...obviously not every guy is the same and we do grow out of it.
Yeah understand that but he’s single, been living here 2 years, on his own, all his family (apart from one cousin who is in uni here), are back in Italy. All he does is work and play Xbox! not like he can go out for student night and Friday, Saturday and Sunday like we used to so your probably safe while we pubs are shut
Yeah supposed. What is nuts is every rave event I’ve been to in the last two years here he was at them as well! Like he said where he was NYE 2019 and I was like I was there too! Hideout in Croatia, awakenings in Amsterdam, he’d been in these same places that I had been to at the same times (he said them first not like I was saying them and he was like oh me too!) Wants to go raving with me "
Just go for it but make sure you don’t fall for him. If you can keep it as fwb’s then fill your boots. I often go out with guys 20 years younger and no problems with age difference. |
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From past experience at 23yrs old I worked in a bar and ended up with the pub owner, it was a great fantasy at the time as she was 16 yrs older. Age is just a number they say but depends on the people involved as families could cause issues too. Go with what you think is best, life is too short.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You don't really state what your intentions are  Like; what you see there to become of things, what you might want etc. If you just want a kind of companion to have sex, then there's no issue if you get on with said person what age they are?! I've never judged or treated someone differently because of their age, but for the respect they show others and that applies to if I fancy them too.
The thing is when people start to question something, it can (not always) be a sign that it is an issue to them or even other things that you're having second thought about.
Rule of thumb I've never looked past about 18 months for a potential wife, but I'd never rule anything out! I was 19-20 and seeing a 36 year old once, every woman I've met on fab has been older bar one, I do think I get on better with older girls because of what's attractive to me in a person. But never rule out seeing an younger woman or even being with them indefinitely.
Italians are notorious people pleasers, from experience I'd say too, not to generalise any Latin people but that mind set is different to British mentality. Someone said lads at 23 are looking for conquests and I have to for the most part agree, but that's if you're British. Italians and most Latin people are raised differently to brits so you really have to judge each individual, age never really has much bearing on what I want but it can be a good template to use in how you see relationships. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I just haven’t spoken to any guys for over 7 months, mostly from fear of being hurt again so is this me yet again being attracted to someone who is completely not suitable for what I want, which is a relationship if I’m being honest.
I know what I’m like, when I’m attracted to and interested in a guy I’m completely loyal to them only. My focus will be on him and not open to other opportunities. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The age difference doesn't mean anything. Physical age and emotional maturity don't always scale proportionally.
If you take a chance it might not work out. If you don't take a chance it *definitely* won't, and you'll regret it.
So: go for it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just haven’t spoken to any guys for over 7 months, mostly from fear of being hurt again so is this me yet again being attracted to someone who is completely not suitable for what I want, which is a relationship if I’m being honest.
I know what I’m like, when I’m attracted to and interested in a guy I’m completely loyal to them only. My focus will be on him and not open to other opportunities. "
Like I said in my other post, but trying to apply logic and understanding is irrelevant when it comes to raw emotions.
You don't need anyone advice because you know what to do for best deep down anyway, that's to go with your gut. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My gut says I know this won’t be a relationship that would work. I enjoy spending time with him but I know if I keep spending time with him and start having sex with him I’ll get attached like I always do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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how about just being honest with the guy? I assume he's not on this website mind, but if there's something you want maybe he can relate. Sometimes honesty is best policy and showing your hand a little can be the key to solve all the games.
I am someone who doesn't keep my thoughts in easily though, so I can be perhaps brutally honest sometimes  |
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