FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > More damm lies about the person above part 7
More damm lies about the person above part 7
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
I know I am perfect - and the topic is no longer about water retaining walls |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
Wears his lucky pair of Super Ted undercrackers beneath that kilt (apologies if this has already been noted in one of the previous threads)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is running the olympic marathon in her 6" fuck me shoes |
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She's a music hating civil servant. Doesn't know her Elbow from her arse end. |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"Is running the olympic marathon in her 6" fuck me shoes"
Actually that's true, I started in 2008 in the Beijing olympiad, I've only got another 17.5 miles left, should be finished sometime in 2027  |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"
She's a music hating civil servant. Doesn't know her Elbow from her arse end. "
Fairly sure that's also true about Amber  |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
told her man she was a barrow lass - and he thought she was a brickies labourer |
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"told her man she was a barrow lass - and he thought she was a brickies labourer"
Slides like a slug down the royal mile without knickers on |
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Once applied to be on 3 2 1 but Ted Rodgers didn't like the cut of his jib |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
fem is really a prudish librarian , who wears ankle length nightdresses ... |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"fem is really a prudish librarian , who wears ankle length nightdresses ..."
now im gonna get lotsa mail ya bugger!!!! lol
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"told her man she was a barrow lass - and he thought she was a brickies labourer"
Hod that for a game of soldiers.....Barrow's a sprawling metropolis compared to Arse End....but also my nearest Debenhams (only a 50 mile round trip) |
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Bathes in the fresh blood of neutered wombats.
But only during a blue moon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is really a time wasters and pic collector, taking particular focus on partial face pics - never a complete. also has no interest in sex or swinging
xx |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"Bathes in the fresh blood of neutered wombats.
But only during a blue moon"
Is a voice double for Joe Pasquale, a body double for Peter Griffin and a personality double for John McCririck |
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Loves making a curry with puppy dog tails |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"Loves making a curry with puppy dog tails "
With a side order of slugs and snails.....
Supe, looking for a wife......here I am  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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thinks muffins suck |
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Once went to a shop & came out without a handbag |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
eats grapes n spits the seeds at BHH |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Is a blonde in disguise "
thats a low blow...grrrrr |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"Is a blonde in disguise thats a low blow...grrrrr
Thought you might like that one  "
is straight as a die
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Has only ever attempted to cross dress once and was sadly mistaken as a woman |
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Applies every summer to be a pool attendant |
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Really organized Olympic security |
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Stole the grant money for the pride march |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
tells everyone he is one of the Olympic torch carriers - when all he did was join the crowd in the market place |
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Addicted to liposuction
But then eats his own fat |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Is a high diving taxi driver... |
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"Is a high diving taxi driver... "
Poses for M&S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is short & boobless |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Attends zumba assess dressed as Mr motivator... |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"Attends zumba assess dressed as Mr motivator... "
***classes... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Isnt funny or clever.
But  to the Barman joke, as its quite gd. |
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Permanent grass stains on knees
Not from doggy style either |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
wants to wear his mankini but is frightened of offending the old ladies on Bournemouth beach |
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Nothing scares me
Swears blind he isn't stalking and doesn't love me or nothing |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
just want you to know there is nothing frightening up the kilt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pablo, How did u know??  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Exscot isnt really an Ex he tells lies lol. |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
only lies to his friends |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lies to himself lol. |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
is practising for wearing his bat wings and wondering when he will get the costume |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wheres Robin @ these days?? |
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Likes having intimate liaisons with a pumpkin |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hasnt any female friends and has long dark hair! |
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Nothing wrong with my flowing locks
Has his own reserved seat in the paradise cinema |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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secretley works within Broadmoors enclosures!! |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
used photoshop to give the impression he is handsome |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"used photoshop to give the impression he is handsome "
has now stopped wearing kilts and prefers a ra ra skirt  |
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We never found out what caused that unusual rash? |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"We never found out what caused that unusual rash?"
wears baggy y fronts
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"We never found out what caused that unusual rash?"
Writes stories for Mills and Boon |
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Worlds least avid mills and boon fan |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
thinks he is the protagonist in 50 shades of filth |
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That book was written about me!
Lives in a homeless hostel so he can get the free hare Krishna meal |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
thinks safe sex is when you are inside a bank vault |
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Has never been to Scotland & supports Man U |
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Safe sex is withholding your phone no
Closet nfl fan thinks rams are horny
Wears a baseball cap with a beer can and straw attachment.
Allergic to popcorn |
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has piles due to overuse of his anal douche! |
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"has piles due to overuse of his anal douche!"
Gives Jack his exercise twice daily. |
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auditioned for the tarzan movie but was turned down for being too muscular and good looking! |
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Camps out overnight to be first in line for Jedward tickets
Goes nub ending most Sundays |
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spends all his wages buying mucky knickers off e bay |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
thinks victorias secret is david beckham in lacey frenchies |
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Only eats whelks
Has 42 outstanding speeding tickets |
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Models granny knickers for saga |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
pablo has read every single one of barbra cartlands novels while wearing a pink frilly ballgown. |
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goes on saga holidays but has failed to pull so goes to bed at 8.00 with a cocoa and a copy of 50 shades! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was last seen stood on a motorway bridge mooning at the traffic police. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Was last seen stood on a motorway bridge mooning at the traffic police."
has a long stick of dynamite |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
"Was last seen stood on a motorway bridge mooning at the traffic police.has a long stick of dynamite "
femme spent last night watching disney movies while eating crisp sandwiches and snuggled up to a giant teddybear... |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Will only Sit in the back of cars and waves to the public like the queen... |
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looks over the partition in public loo's |
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Peeps under the partition in changing rooms too |
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climbs over the partition and drinks out of the loo! |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
after reading His barbra carland books,. Pablo likes to reinact the scenes where he plays the buxum maid swooning over the throbbing manhood of the hero.. |
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knows far too much about barbara cartland to be healthy! |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
she is barbra cartland |
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Spends too long in toilet cubicles |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
"she is barbra cartland "
shsssss dont let the papers know... |
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pinches barbara cartlands fags! |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
"pinches barbara cartlands fags!"
hey they are humans dont call them fags......
stuffs her bra with chicken fillits from iceland.... |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
size of them beautys,you use turkeys |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Runs along the beach playing the bay watch theme on her ipod |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
"size of them beautys,you use turkeys"
bernard mathews lol
goes shoplifting to feed her shoe habit |
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"Runs along the beach playing the bay watch theme on her ipod"
runs along the beach in a red swimsuit with 2 ballons stuffed down his top shouting come and get me Hoff!
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"Runs along the beach playing the bay watch theme on her ipodruns along the beach in a red swimsuit with 2 ballons stuffed down his top shouting come and get me Hoff!"
Oi... His name was Mitch...
Goes to church just for the free wine... |
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"Runs along the beach playing the bay watch theme on her ipodruns along the beach in a red swimsuit with 2 ballons stuffed down his top shouting come and get me Hoff!
Oi... His name was Mitch...
Goes to church just for the free wine..."
Named after his favourite drink, Cream Soda. |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Uses the milk tray man's business cards... |
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named after his favourite drink mushroom soup! |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
steals her undies of the washing line at the old folks home.. |
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"steals her undies of the washing line at the old folks home.."
Steals HER undies from the Sand Yacht club. |
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lives in an old folks home and wears tenna ladies extra absorbant! |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
"steals her undies of the washing line at the old folks home..
Steals HER undies from the Sand Yacht club. "
yeap ,, pure silk...
person above me sits in a bath of custard to wank over 50 shades.. |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
sleeps under a disney princesess devet set, with matching curtains. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"sleeps under a disney princesess devet set, with matching curtains. "
owns a well known clothing store |
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Loves to totter round in 7" heels while pretending to be "The Only Gay In The Village"
Only owns a cat, so can't go dogging |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
does naked standup routines in a small club in manchester |
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It was five
Dresses as a district nurse and drives a Morris minor every sunday |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
writes all the jokes for family guy. |
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"writes all the jokes for family guy. "
Big fan of yours by the way.
No that wasn't the lie this is
Fishwife |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
PB is a hermit who hordes copies of caraven weekly and knit and natter magazines.. |
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Harrasses me for sex all the time, really has the hots for me
Or is that the other way round? |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
i heard that PB likes to snuggle up under a personalised Betty Boo snuggle blanket and watch Glee on box set
x H |
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Can't fathom the difference between a Zebra or a Pelican Crossing
Always leaves lumpy bits in the mash  |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
wears pink hotpants to clean the oven cos they match his marigold gloves. and then dances around to ABBA;s dancing queen. |
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By *aldybiMan
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
Can't believe who he's just had in the back of his cab... |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Can't believe who he's just had in the back of his cab..."
is really a flump |
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By *aldybiMan
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
Secretly wears Bridget Jones' pants |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
"Secretly wears Bridget Jones' pants"
###
has got wrinkly balls so uses q 10 on them . x |
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By *aldybiMan
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"Secretly wears Bridget Jones' pants###
has got wrinkly balls so uses q 10 on them . x "
ROFLMAO!!
Wishes I'd give her her q 10 back... |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
"Secretly wears Bridget Jones' pants###
has got wrinkly balls so uses q 10 on them . x
ROFLMAO!!
Wishes I'd give her her q 10 back..."
you can keep it my dear lol i have a better facial routine ,
BB farts in the bath cos hes to furgal to buy a bubble jet. |
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By *aldybiMan
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
just sprayed red wine out my nose all over the keyboard... Oh dear... |
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By *aldybiMan
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
Her tattoo was the inspiration for Python's Parrot sketch... |
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Rides a unicycle to work and only speaks in Ancient Hebrew on Tuesdays |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
Thinks a trick cyclist is a psychiatrist |
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By *aldybiMan
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
Works part-time as Maw Broon's fanny waxer...
[Sorry; oblique north-of-border ref] |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
is really the Archbishop of Canterbury - but comes on here for some light relief |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Works part time as David Cameron's bike washer |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
Is really an old sea dog - just wants someone to wag his tail at |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Buys Marmite for sex sessions |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
buys his bras from hava sac |
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Bathes in melted butter then rolls in salted pistachio nuts and pork scratchings before laying on a silver salver as an erotic feast for pantomime dwarves ,munchkins and oompa loompas |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
what a tasty feast
was a Michelin starred Chef till he discovered FAB |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
has so many friends - never has time to be on here |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Dances with gay abandon ,, the gay Gordon ... strange name but They're a nice couple .. |
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Steals Gordon's gin
(and all Gordon's other drinks too) |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
is really from camberwick green |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Wants to be an M.P. so she can meet big Ben and black rod.. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
wants to be the other end of black rod |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
left home looking for Leeds Castle and drove around all day without finding it |
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Finds Kingston too butch, wants to move to queens park |
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Can't count higher than three
Not without using both hands anyway |
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used to be in the jason king fan club |
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Jason king was cool in department s
Life member of the tufty club |
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still wears jason king style trousers to meets! |
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Has Jason kings tache and Afro |
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is a Borg and is his eyeballs are wired to nhis shades! |
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You will be assimilated
Uses tribbles as sex toys |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Stands on bridges singing 'just one cornetto..' |
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Makes fake cornettos from sanitary towels and cardboard
Don't ask for strawberry |
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Has 6 sugars in his tea
Got the sack as a doorman for taking the doors home with him |
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"Is Butch Cassidy"
keeps pigs in the garden and dress them in matching outfits!
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
wanted to be Steve MqQueen |
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By *xscot OP Man
over a year ago
Kingston |
has been banned from Karaoke after her caterwauling blew up the loudspeakers and caused pain to all the listners |
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Was once Invloved in a hang gliding incident that saw him crash into a sunbathing Eric morecombe.
However Eric took it well and let him keep his now somewhat bent out of shape glasses |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
[Removed by poster at 25/07/12 20:26:53] |
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"has been banned from Karaoke after her caterwauling blew up the loudspeakers and caused pain to all the listners "
broke the speakers at karaoke night and caused general alarm when kilt blew over his head and building was evacuated as there were concerns over a dangerous wilde beaste on the loose
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