FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why does this happen to such beautiful souls
Why does this happen to such beautiful souls
Jump to: Newest in thread
My son (23) had a call today to let him know his best friend had committed suicide.
It's hit him hard, my sons best friend was one of those amazing peopleand I frequently told him that if I could I would adopt him!!
He would do anything for anyone, kind caring, loving and just an all round lovely person.
He leaves behind his amazing girlfriend, his 5 year old daughter and 4 month old son.
No suicide note and only hours before was talking to his girlfriend about getting help from the gp for his depression.
He had been through some really tough times in his life and got through them all, he was settled in a loving supported relationship and worshipped his children.
Nobody will ever know what happened in those final moments that made him choose death over life.
None of us can actually believe this has happened and I have no idea how to support my son through his grief.
The point of this post is more to say if you or anyone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please get help.
The devastation for those left behind is immeasurable and there is never a need to find a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Times are hard and sometimes it feels like there is no way out but please believe there is, there is always help, there is always someone who cares and there is a future to be had.
Please hug your loved ones tight and tell those you care about that you love them even if you can't see them right now.
Every moment is precious xx  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Having lost some beautiful people that I loved to suicide, I can only say this. They are not cowards or running away; the pain was just too great to deal with. Those left behind should not feel guilty but try to raise awareness. I am so sorry for your son's loss x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So sorry to hear it OP and can't imagine what your son, and his friends partner and family must be going through right now - thoughts are with you all"
Thank you, they are all only in their early 20's, it's heartbreaking for them, it really is |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Having lost some beautiful people that I loved to suicide, I can only say this. They are not cowards or running away; the pain was just too great to deal with. Those left behind should not feel guilty but try to raise awareness. I am so sorry for your son's loss x"
Thats the other hard thing isn't it, the guilt, thinking you should have noticed more, said more or done more.
Deep down I think they know that there wasn't any signs that this was going to happen but the what ifs are so loud right now x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The dislike the stigma that seems to come with suicide. These people are scared, fearful and silently in pain.
Sometimes, "Chin up" or "Smile could be worse" dont cut it. These people see no way out. Which is why whoever's reads this.
Your life is worth it, you are important. If you are struggling now, be patient, you'll come out so much better. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Having lost some beautiful people that I loved to suicide, I can only say this. They are not cowards or running away; the pain was just too great to deal with. Those left behind should not feel guilty but try to raise awareness. I am so sorry for your son's loss x
Thats the other hard thing isn't it, the guilt, thinking you should have noticed more, said more or done more.
Deep down I think they know that there wasn't any signs that this was going to happen but the what ifs are so loud right now x"
So true x good friends of mine lost their son to suicide last summer with no warning signs. We can only be the best friends we can be. We are not responsible or to blame but can only do our best to reach out x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As somebody that attempted this in my 20's I can confirm the saying, its always the ones happiest on the outside that are hurting on the inside to look out for. So sad another young life has gone, if only we could teach them that life does get better. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Those beautiful souls became skilled in hiding their pain. They didn't want the fix. They just wanted it to stop hurting.
Big hug. X
"
Making the pain stop, in those dark places it seems impossible.
And yes I totally agree with becoming skilled at hiding their pain.
It's so sad and far too common to comprehend x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Those beautiful souls became skilled in hiding their pain. They didn't want the fix. They just wanted it to stop hurting.
Big hug. X
Making the pain stop, in those dark places it seems impossible.
And yes I totally agree with becoming skilled at hiding their pain.
It's so sad and far too common to comprehend x"
So common and still misunderstood. It pains me when someone calls it selfish. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My son committed suicide 6 months ago aged just 27.
He suffered from depression but hid it well with his sense of humour.
Due to inheriting half of a lottery jackpot win he was the richest person I knew and had everything to live for you would think.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"As somebody that attempted this in my 20's I can confirm the saying, its always the ones happiest on the outside that are hurting on the inside to look out for. So sad another young life has gone, if only we could teach them that life does get better."
I know, we knew he struggled with anxiety and depression but nobody had any idea that his thoughts were of suicide, he was always open about how he felt and was completely supported by his girlfriend and overjoyed to have another child.
It seems that things spiralled really fast and suddenly he's gone.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My son committed suicide 6 months ago aged just 27.
He suffered from depression but hid it well with his sense of humour.
Due to inheriting half of a lottery jackpot win he was the richest person I knew and had everything to live for you would think.
"
I am sorry. This darkness can touch anyone. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My son committed suicide 6 months ago aged just 27.
He suffered from depression but hid it well with his sense of humour.
Due to inheriting half of a lottery jackpot win he was the richest person I knew and had everything to live for you would think.
"
So sorry for your loss x
That is the thing, humour can cover up alot of sadness, it's so tragic.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"That's hard to take OP, one of ma best mate's Mum decided to take her own life, it was totally out of the blue, she was in good health and in her late 50's.
Comiserations to you x  "
So sorry to hear that, its so hard for those left behind and brings up such mixed emotions. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm so sorry to hear about this op. Mental torture is so hard to comprehend. Everyone else sees positives that you cannot, everyone sees hope where you see despair, everyone gives love but it is not enough.
It sounds like you were blessed to know this individual and with time that is how you will remember. Right now the hurt is immense. You want to protect your baby from that but you can't.
Death is so terrible and final. I have seen too much death in my life. I hope you will all be made stronger by this.
Allow yourselves to hurt, to mourn and to recover. It may take a long time but be there for each other.
Thinking of you all. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My son committed suicide 6 months ago aged just 27.
He suffered from depression but hid it well with his sense of humour.
Due to inheriting half of a lottery jackpot win he was the richest person I knew and had everything to live for you would think.
So sorry for your loss x
That is the thing, humour can cover up alot of sadness, it's so tragic.
"
I was aware of his depression but despite that I couldn't save him.
He was my only child and although I carry on beneath my own mask I'm broken. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm so sorry to hear about this op. Mental torture is so hard to comprehend. Everyone else sees positives that you cannot, everyone sees hope where you see despair, everyone gives love but it is not enough.
It sounds like you were blessed to know this individual and with time that is how you will remember. Right now the hurt is immense. You want to protect your baby from that but you can't.
Death is so terrible and final. I have seen too much death in my life. I hope you will all be made stronger by this.
Allow yourselves to hurt, to mourn and to recover. It may take a long time but be there for each other.
Thinking of you all. X"
Thank you, this is pretty much what I have said to my son, whatever you feel, just feel it, don't try and bury it or dismiss it, it will be a roller-coaster of emotions and they will hit at random times but they are necessary.
X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My son committed suicide 6 months ago aged just 27.
He suffered from depression but hid it well with his sense of humour.
Due to inheriting half of a lottery jackpot win he was the richest person I knew and had everything to live for you would think.
So sorry for your loss x
That is the thing, humour can cover up alot of sadness, it's so tragic.
I was aware of his depression but despite that I couldn't save him.
He was my only child and although I carry on beneath my own mask I'm broken. "
I can't imagine how hard that must be for you xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My son committed suicide 6 months ago aged just 27.
He suffered from depression but hid it well with his sense of humour.
Due to inheriting half of a lottery jackpot win he was the richest person I knew and had everything to live for you would think.
So sorry for your loss x
That is the thing, humour can cover up alot of sadness, it's so tragic.
I was aware of his depression but despite that I couldn't save him.
He was my only child and although I carry on beneath my own mask I'm broken.
I can't imagine how hard that must be for you xx"
Thank you, should you want a chat anytime then just message me, its therapeutic to talk about it and not awkward for me at all... xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My son committed suicide 6 months ago aged just 27.
He suffered from depression but hid it well with his sense of humour.
Due to inheriting half of a lottery jackpot win he was the richest person I knew and had everything to live for you would think.
So sorry for your loss x
That is the thing, humour can cover up alot of sadness, it's so tragic.
I was aware of his depression but despite that I couldn't save him.
He was my only child and although I carry on beneath my own mask I'm broken.
I can't imagine how hard that must be for you xx
Thank you, should you want a chat anytime then just message me, its therapeutic to talk about it and not awkward for me at all... xx"
Thats a lovely offer, thank you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My son committed suicide 6 months ago aged just 27.
He suffered from depression but hid it well with his sense of humour.
Due to inheriting half of a lottery jackpot win he was the richest person I knew and had everything to live for you would think.
So sorry for your loss x
That is the thing, humour can cover up alot of sadness, it's so tragic.
I was aware of his depression but despite that I couldn't save him.
He was my only child and although I carry on beneath my own mask I'm broken.
I can't imagine how hard that must be for you xx
Thank you, should you want a chat anytime then just message me, its therapeutic to talk about it and not awkward for me at all... xx
Thats a lovely offer, thank you "
No worries  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My son (23) had a call today to let him know his best friend had committed suicide.
It's hit him hard, my sons best friend was one of those amazing peopleand I frequently told him that if I could I would adopt him!!
He would do anything for anyone, kind caring, loving and just an all round lovely person.
He leaves behind his amazing girlfriend, his 5 year old daughter and 4 month old son.
No suicide note and only hours before was talking to his girlfriend about getting help from the gp for his depression.
He had been through some really tough times in his life and got through them all, he was settled in a loving supported relationship and worshipped his children.
Nobody will ever know what happened in those final moments that made him choose death over life.
None of us can actually believe this has happened and I have no idea how to support my son through his grief.
The point of this post is more to say if you or anyone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please get help.
The devastation for those left behind is immeasurable and there is never a need to find a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Times are hard and sometimes it feels like there is no way out but please believe there is, there is always help, there is always someone who cares and there is a future to be had.
Please hug your loved ones tight and tell those you care about that you love them even if you can't see them right now.
Every moment is precious xx "
My stepson commited suicide in October, no note, his gf aborted his child and told him she did it because she didn't want an ugly baby, it was the straw that broke the camel's back, she had cut him off from his mother and spread rumours about him in local town, just the girl got it in her head to destroy him, don't know why, he was 26  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My son (23) had a call today to let him know his best friend had committed suicide.
It's hit him hard, my sons best friend was one of those amazing peopleand I frequently told him that if I could I would adopt him!!
He would do anything for anyone, kind caring, loving and just an all round lovely person.
He leaves behind his amazing girlfriend, his 5 year old daughter and 4 month old son.
No suicide note and only hours before was talking to his girlfriend about getting help from the gp for his depression.
He had been through some really tough times in his life and got through them all, he was settled in a loving supported relationship and worshipped his children.
Nobody will ever know what happened in those final moments that made him choose death over life.
None of us can actually believe this has happened and I have no idea how to support my son through his grief.
The point of this post is more to say if you or anyone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please get help.
The devastation for those left behind is immeasurable and there is never a need to find a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Times are hard and sometimes it feels like there is no way out but please believe there is, there is always help, there is always someone who cares and there is a future to be had.
Please hug your loved ones tight and tell those you care about that you love them even if you can't see them right now.
Every moment is precious xx
My stepson commited suicide in October, no note, his gf aborted his child and told him she did it because she didn't want an ugly baby, it was the straw that broke the camel's back, she had cut him off from his mother and spread rumours about him in local town, just the girl got it in her head to destroy him, don't know why, he was 26 "
How awful, I never understand why people choose to make others unhappy.
If only positives were held onto as tightly as negatives.
So sorry for your and his mothers loss x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So sorry for your loss. I too today found out an old friend has been taken too soon by suicide. Life is so cruel and it’s always the lovely bubbly friendly ones who suffer alone inside. Andy was the life and soul of a party. I’m in total shock .
I expect we will see more of this over the coming months too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My son (23) had a call today to let him know his best friend had committed suicide.
It's hit him hard, my sons best friend was one of those amazing peopleand I frequently told him that if I could I would adopt him!!
He would do anything for anyone, kind caring, loving and just an all round lovely person.
He leaves behind his amazing girlfriend, his 5 year old daughter and 4 month old son.
No suicide note and only hours before was talking to his girlfriend about getting help from the gp for his depression.
He had been through some really tough times in his life and got through them all, he was settled in a loving supported relationship and worshipped his children.
Nobody will ever know what happened in those final moments that made him choose death over life.
None of us can actually believe this has happened and I have no idea how to support my son through his grief.
The point of this post is more to say if you or anyone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please get help.
The devastation for those left behind is immeasurable and there is never a need to find a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Times are hard and sometimes it feels like there is no way out but please believe there is, there is always help, there is always someone who cares and there is a future to be had.
Please hug your loved ones tight and tell those you care about that you love them even if you can't see them right now.
Every moment is precious xx
My stepson commited suicide in October, no note, his gf aborted his child and told him she did it because she didn't want an ugly baby, it was the straw that broke the camel's back, she had cut him off from his mother and spread rumours about him in local town, just the girl got it in her head to destroy him, don't know why, he was 26
How awful, I never understand why people choose to make others unhappy.
If only positives were held onto as tightly as negatives.
So sorry for your and his mothers loss x"
. As for support Taz , the only advice I can give is to be normal, Carl's half brother (my son) is 17, he's strangely normal about it all, the usual questions have been discussed by both of us, if we had called , or text or something, truth is I think if Carl could have been stopped he would have made sure one of us heard him ask. Tell your son to honour his friends memory in being a success to himself and a good person. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My son (23) had a call today to let him know his best friend had committed suicide.
It's hit him hard, my sons best friend was one of those amazing peopleand I frequently told him that if I could I would adopt him!!
He would do anything for anyone, kind caring, loving and just an all round lovely person.
He leaves behind his amazing girlfriend, his 5 year old daughter and 4 month old son.
No suicide note and only hours before was talking to his girlfriend about getting help from the gp for his depression.
He had been through some really tough times in his life and got through them all, he was settled in a loving supported relationship and worshipped his children.
Nobody will ever know what happened in those final moments that made him choose death over life.
None of us can actually believe this has happened and I have no idea how to support my son through his grief.
The point of this post is more to say if you or anyone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please get help.
The devastation for those left behind is immeasurable and there is never a need to find a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Times are hard and sometimes it feels like there is no way out but please believe there is, there is always help, there is always someone who cares and there is a future to be had.
Please hug your loved ones tight and tell those you care about that you love them even if you can't see them right now.
Every moment is precious xx
My stepson commited suicide in October, no note, his gf aborted his child and told him she did it because she didn't want an ugly baby, it was the straw that broke the camel's back, she had cut him off from his mother and spread rumours about him in local town, just the girl got it in her head to destroy him, don't know why, he was 26
How awful, I never understand why people choose to make others unhappy.
If only positives were held onto as tightly as negatives.
So sorry for your and his mothers loss x. As for support Taz , the only advice I can give is to be normal, Carl's half brother (my son) is 17, he's strangely normal about it all, the usual questions have been discussed by both of us, if we had called , or text or something, truth is I think if Carl could have been stopped he would have made sure one of us heard him ask. Tell your son to honour his friends memory in being a success to himself and a good person."
Yes, they were planning to start a business so I have suggested maybe he continues that idea in time. X
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So sorry for your loss. I too today found out an old friend has been taken too soon by suicide. Life is so cruel and it’s always the lovely bubbly friendly ones who suffer alone inside. Andy was the life and soul of a party. I’m in total shock .
I expect we will see more of this over the coming months too. "
So sorry to hear this, its a very difficult time for so many people and so hard when we lose people we love and care about too soon in their lives xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ah sending you and your son hugs op. Suicide is so prevalent in our society its worrying. My son is 26 and we have a very good relationship and im always at him to be open etc about how he is feeling. But as parents we will always worry.
Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So sorry to hear this, truly devastating no matter the age but even more so in one so young. Hope you are all accessing the support you need x
I have lost a few people to suicide, one just before Christmas, he was the life and soul of our group and was everyone's friend. We never had a clue and he was the last person we thought would do that. We'll just never know why
So yes, anyone struggling please reach out and we all need to look out for each other, especially the quiet 'happy' ones. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
For all the professional help , therapy , medication and any other help out there when person decides to take their own life nothing and no one will be able to stop them or have been able to do anything to stop them.Come the moment of truth the only person that wants to commit suicide will find the strength , reason not to go through with it.My thoughts go out to the OP and everyone else who has shared their experiences on this thread.Hope you all find the strength to stay strong for yourself and your loved ones. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So sorry to read this thread. Having attempted it myself all I can say to those who have been left behind is that there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. Speaking out is often impossible for those who are suffering. Being in that much pain clouds all rational thought and what seems logical to others doesn't make sense to the ones in pain. The anguish of losing a loved one is enough to deal with without adding guilt and 'what if's' to your own suffering. Much love to all those who have been left with the fall-out of a suicide x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Having experienced this more than once in the last 18 months I can totally understand how you and your son are feeling.
You couldn’t of done any more than be their for him like you have been.
Unfortunately it’s very difficult to identify and even harder to attempt to cure in someone that hides it.
Think of him like he was to you and don’t let his illness be your lasting memory of him.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *osco78Man
over a year ago
Sheffield |
Having lost one of my best friends to this a couple of years ago , I feel for your son , sometimes people just want out ,they might seem ok on the outside , we didn't know till my friend died he'd had struggles for years and we never picked up on it . Tbh just typing this makes me feel a little sad all over again |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
