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Things that go bump in the night.

By *rivateparts! OP Man over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

Got woken up to what sounded like someone moving about downstairs.

Checked my sons room, he's fast asleep.

Crept stealthy downstairs wondering what I'd find pushed the door open turned the light on nothing absolutely nothing good job really seeing as I was naked.

Like a dick I'd left the heating on and it had kicked in ffs.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've had these moments, unfortunately it was 2 guys broken in. Luckily a 1969 SS cricket bat and a butchers knife saw them away. My 40kg dog was fucking useless. I was also naked. I proper shit myself regardless of being ex military.

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By *orksRockerMan over a year ago

Bradford

Reminds me of this Jason Manford sketch...

https://youtu.be/-JJKTz1s3SM

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

See, I hear a noise and I just think, ah well....

Maybe I should get myself a naked man to go check out the bumps in the night

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By *vilgasamWoman over a year ago

The dot in the i

I had this tonight too, something rattling in the kitchen, still no idea what

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By *rivateparts! OP Man over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

"I've had these moments, unfortunately it was 2 guys broken in. Luckily a 1969 SS cricket bat and a butchers knife saw them away. My 40kg dog was fucking useless. I was also naked. I proper shit myself regardless of being ex military."

They had a lucky escape then.

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By *rivateparts! OP Man over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

"See, I hear a noise and I just think, ah well....

Maybe I should get myself a naked man to go check out the bumps in the night

You should