FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Rasism? Sexism? Both or Neither?

Rasism? Sexism? Both or Neither?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

So after seeing a fair amount of mainly female profiles stating "No Black guys" i read a forum post on here from a black guy who was frustrated by it.

The majority of comments defended the womans choice in sexual partner.

(This is the background to my question)

My question is if a male posted on his profile that he wasnt interested in Black women would he get the same defence as the ladies?

(Im in no way judging anybody or anyones personal views my question is to start a healthy discussion)

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Probably not. Men are treated very differently than women on fab.

I've never understood why people need to express this particular preference, surely you can tell from photos

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS over a year ago

London

Does stating "No TV/TS" as sexist?

To me it makes it clearer and easier, just like any other "no this" or "no that".

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would definitely agree with both of the responses above.

Personally I think it's better to say what you are looking for rather than what you are not.

Say no thank you or don't respond to anybody you are not interested in and put your filters on and just rely on photos.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Does stating "No TV/TS" as sexist?

To me it makes it clearer and easier, just like any other "no this" or "no that". "

Personally I think the on kind of TV that should ever be in a bedroom is a TV/TS.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS over a year ago

London

"I would definitely agree with both of the responses above.

Personally I think it's better to say what you are looking for rather than what you are not.

Say no thank you or don't respond to anybody you are not interested in and put your filters on and just rely on photos."

I agree fully.

I just, personally, don't like when people shout racism, sexism, xxphobias, shaming etc out of profile (or threads) that chose to have statements like that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hasn't this subject been done to death??

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hasn't this subject been done to death??"

Possibly you have seen a fair amount of it. I have not.

Does tat mean because you have seen it and i havent i shouldnt ask the question?

Whats the solution...a list of topics that people like you dont want to hear anymore?

What would that mean for newcomers to the site?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I feel that the point of the post was to see if we felt the different ways men are treated than women and not solely about whether its right or wrong to express our preferences if that makes sense?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hasn't this subject been done to death??

Possibly you have seen a fair amount of it. I have not.

Does tat mean because you have seen it and i havent i shouldnt ask the question?

Whats the solution...a list of topics that people like you dont want to hear anymore?

What would that mean for newcomers to the site?"

A simple search of the forums will give you all the answers you need.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hasn't this subject been done to death??

Possibly you have seen a fair amount of it. I have not.

Does tat mean because you have seen it and i havent i shouldnt ask the question?

Whats the solution...a list of topics that people like you dont want to hear anymore?

What would that mean for newcomers to the site?

A simple search of the forums will give you all the answers you need. "

Ive searched..and i haven't found the question i asked.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So after seeing a fair amount of mainly female profiles stating "No Black guys" i read a forum post on here from a black guy who was frustrated by it.

The majority of comments defended the womans choice in sexual partner.

(This is the background to my question)

My question is if a male posted on his profile that he wasnt interested in Black women would he get the same defence as the ladies?

(Im in no way judging anybody or anyones personal views my question is to start a healthy discussion)

On a previous profile 'sorry but no black/asian im not racist but am only attracted to pale ladys'

I got so so much abuse off white women

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By *os19Man over a year ago

Edmonton

"So after seeing a fair amount of mainly female profiles stating "No Black guys" i read a forum post on here from a black guy who was frustrated by it.

The majority of comments defended the womans choice in sexual partner.

(This is the background to my question)

My question is if a male posted on his profile that he wasnt interested in Black women would he get the same defence as the ladies?

(Im in no way judging anybody or anyones personal views my question is to start a healthy discussion)

"
. I think that a male posting on his profile he isn’t interested in black women should get the same defence as a female stating no black guys.As far as I am concerned Fabs is about preference and perhaps making your fantasy become reality.To my way of thinking been on Fabs does not mean I am a equal opportunity employer when it comes to sex.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS over a year ago

London

On a previous profile 'sorry but no black/asian im not racist but am only attracted to pale ladys'

I got so so much abuse off white women

Ha..it's the way you described it.

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By *ohnny2006Man over a year ago

worcester

"So after seeing a fair amount of mainly female profiles stating "No Black guys" i read a forum post on here from a black guy who was frustrated by it.

The majority of comments defended the womans choice in sexual partner.

(This is the background to my question)

My question is if a male posted on his profile that he wasnt interested in Black women would he get the same defence as the ladies?

(Im in no way judging anybody or anyones personal views my question is to start a healthy discussion)

This is a interesting topic. Because it's the last bastion of discrimination the left leaning types won't touch.

But let's spread this out further, why is it okay to discriminate against anyone sexually?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The funny thing is people rarely read the profiles. They are enticed by the imagery. I have seen straight guys actually be write "no men, only into women" because they don't want to be contacted but still get messaged by men. Best solution I find is either ignore message, reply politely or tighten filter option. I do agree it is better to say what you are after vs. What you are not.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So after seeing a fair amount of mainly female profiles stating "No Black guys" i read a forum post on here from a black guy who was frustrated by it.

The majority of comments defended the womans choice in sexual partner.

(This is the background to my question)

My question is if a male posted on his profile that he wasnt interested in Black women would he get the same defence as the ladies?

(Im in no way judging anybody or anyones personal views my question is to start a healthy discussion)

This is a interesting topic. Because it's the last bastion of discrimination the left leaning types won't touch.

***But let's spread this out further, why is it okay to discriminate against anyone sexually?***"

*** What do you mean?

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By *uriousblondwifeCouple over a year ago

wickford

"Hasn't this subject been done to death??

Possibly you have seen a fair amount of it. I have not.

Does tat mean because you have seen it and i havent i shouldnt ask the question?

Whats the solution...a list of topics that people like you dont want to hear anymore?

What would that mean for newcomers to the site?

A simple search of the forums will give you all the answers you need. "

This ladie is a serial negative responser in the forums...ive noticed this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So after seeing a fair amount of mainly female profiles stating "No Black guys" i read a forum post on here from a black guy who was frustrated by it.

The majority of comments defended the womans choice in sexual partner.

(This is the background to my question)

My question is if a male posted on his profile that he wasnt interested in Black women would he get the same defence as the ladies?

(Im in no way judging anybody or anyones personal views my question is to start a healthy discussion)

Women can do no wrong. Everything men do is wrong.

I think it depends on how they word it and/ or ask the question on the forum. Some people believe what I said above.

If the person asks in a fiery way then they rile people up from the start. Although even a simple question can make some people irate.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I feel that the point of the post was to see if we felt the different ways men are treated than women and not solely about whether its right or wrong to express our preferences if that makes sense?"

I'd say yes, men are treated a lot differently in response to various things. Not sure why it should be so but I've seen posts in here from women who got supportive responses and thought... Had that been a man asking/saying the same thing he'd be slaughtered.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A man need not put a preferance for women in age colour or body type.

He can just reply with a no thank you.

Nobody should be judged because of a preferance.

I wonder who is doing the judging ? Is it a white man/woman being offended on behalf of a black/asian man woman.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I dont buy into it as a preference, never have.

Pretty it up however you like but its judging someone as part of a group, rather than as an individual.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A man need not put a preferance for women in age colour or body type.

He can just reply with a no thank you.

Nobody should be judged because of a preferance.

I wonder who is doing the judging ? Is it a white man/woman being offended on behalf of a black/asian man woman.

We agree totally. To us preference is just that. It isn't prejudice, it is a simply a choice.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Probably not. Men are treated very differently than women on fab.

I've never understood why people need to express this particular preference, surely you can tell from photos "

Well said Mod !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/01/21 09:55:41]

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By *ljamMan over a year ago

Edinburgh

My feeling is it's at best incredibly shallow and at worst racist. Broadcasting your blanket dismissal of an entire race... that does smell like racism to me. Calling it preference all day long doesn't change that either. It's also narrow-minded and self-limiting... who knows, best fuck of your life could be from the *insert race here* person you haven't met yet.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I dont buy into it as a preference, never have.

Pretty it up however you like but its judging someone as part of a group, rather than as an individual."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If someone isn’t attracted to a particular race I wouldn’t call it racist I’d call it preference

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People hide a lot of misconceptions, stereotypes & bigotry behind the word 'preference'

When challenged, the cry is generally the same 'my body, my choice'

Whilst that is undoubtedly the case, it still doesn't address why those preferences exist

I think it is good, once in a while, that we ask questions of ourselves and challenge our 'preferences'

If I am pointing fingers here, I also point them at myself, as I too harbour preferences based on life events & experience, stereotype and preconceptions

I am a complete fussy fucker

If I listed all my preferences (ideals) here, you could pin a whole load of -ists on my tail

I deliberately don't list them as, in many cases, they are flexible and my end choices tend to be person specific

I'd sooner leave the opportunity to contact me open and I can engage or discount on a message by message basis

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By *bang13Couple over a year ago

Kidderminster

[Removed by poster at 22/01/21 09:58:09]

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

If you hang around the forums long enough you'll see just how differently men are treated to women/couples/TV/TS.

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By *ackformore100Man over a year ago

Tin town

"I dont buy into it as a preference, never have.

Pretty it up however you like but its judging someone as part of a group, rather than as an individual."

Is it? Always? What about people who get turned on by (have a preference for) long legs? Big tits? Shaven pussies? It's not judging anyone. It's saying what is visually or possibly physically pleasing to them. It's not judging anyone...

If I prefer yellow lingerie is that allowed.? If so why?

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple over a year ago

Maidstone

"If you hang around the forums long enough you'll see just how differently men are treated to women/couples/TV/TS."

Agreed. Not all men but most men.

With reference to preferences etc. As someone already said, set your filters and if someone you’re not attracted to contacts you you’re under no obligation to reply to them, let alone have sex with them.

No need for discrimination or drama.

Lou x

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By *ljamMan over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I dont buy into it as a preference, never have.

Pretty it up however you like but its judging someone as part of a group, rather than as an individual.

If I prefer yellow lingerie is that allowed.? If so why? "

The examples you've given do involve judging people's attributes. That is pretty obvious.

Yes, it is allowed for you to prefer yellow lingerie. There's a leap between preferring a colour of lingerie, and pathologically refusing to entertain any other colour. The first is fine, I prefer to wear trainers for the comfort, but I'll wear other shoes too. The second is fucking stupid, and if you transfer it over to race then it's racist.

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By *ohnsnowmanMan over a year ago

Don't Go Back to Sexville

Yeah I agree. Also, I think you have to think about how it feels for people who already get the shitty end of the stick to see no asians or no blacks on a profile. Just another sign that they are being treated differently based on the colour of their skin. Like someone else said. Look at the photo.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have been on and off fab for years. I think this is one of the most recurring topics in the forums!

Yes there is sexism, racism, all the other “ism”s. The same way it is in the real world. The only difference is online people have more anonymity.

Also men are certainly treated different to women on this site. I tried a bit of an experiment in the threads once haha it turned out just as I expected

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think the ‘preference’ argument is very weak.

I know the difference between straight and gay sexuality. I know the difference between tall and short, slim or curvy, a 20 year old and a 50 year old. I understand those preferences if you have them.

But being ‘black’ or ‘Asian’ tells me nothing about that person’s sexuality, appearance or character. It doesn’t even tell me about their skin tone (which I can see in photos anyway) as many ‘black’ people have light skin, many ‘white’ people are dark and ‘Asian’ covers billions of people of every possible appearance.

I don’t think those ‘preferences’ are necessarily racist (though some will be) but they do perpetuate stereotypes about ‘black’ or ‘Asian’ people all being similar. Same with those who specify black men usually mention BBC or VWE, another stereotype.

Time for Fab to join the 21st century and leave those particular ‘preferences’ out of profiles.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As you spend more time here OP you'll realise that this can be a very judgey, sexist, homophbic, racist, Daily Mail reader kind of place

Usually dressed up with the word 'preference ' in the sentence somewhere.

The only thing that is good about profiles with these outspoken 'preferences' is that knowing who to avoid is easier.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I usually see no white men bbc only lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I usually see no white men bbc only lol"

I think it’s a psychological thing. We tend to see and remember the things which are negative to us. I often see “no asians” but also same as you I have seen loads of bbc only!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've got " no cheating knobheads" on my profile.

Stating 'preferences ' clearly doesn't work

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By *entlemanrogueMan over a year ago

Motherwell

"Does stating "No TV/TS" as sexist?

To me it makes it clearer and easier, just like any other "no this" or "no that". "

Not to start a riot, but is Tv/Ts a sex?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Does stating "No TV/TS" as sexist?

To me it makes it clearer and easier, just like any other "no this" or "no that".

Not to start a riot, but is Tv/Ts a sex?

Wish we could reply with gifs and memes on here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your profile on here is your own little piece of personal marketing and branding. Everyone is free to write whatever they wish to attract the target group they have chosen. I never take it personally

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By *8v3nCouple over a year ago

Coventry

Ok.. if anyone with that in their profile reads this I was wondering what is it what makes to write something like that in the profile. Is it really just about colour? I ve never understood it. Perhaps it is not to do with race, but ethnicity - I imagine there could be some cultural quirks which may be a big turn on or turn off like socks in sandals

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By *heGateKeeperMan over a year ago

Stratford

"I usually see no white men bbc only lol

I think it’s a psychological thing. We tend to see and remember the things which are negative to us. I often see “no asians” but also same as you I have seen loads of bbc only!

Agreed. Confirmation bias is a thing on here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think as long as it's worded as a preference (or not one) then it's okay. There's a huge difference between saying you're not into slim women than saying "no stick insects" or something horrible, for example.

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By *8v3nCouple over a year ago

Coventry

"I think as long as it's worded as a preference (or not one) then it's okay. There's a huge difference between saying you're not into slim women than saying "no stick insects" or something horrible, for example. "

Stick insects, snails, rabits, bearded dragons, careful may get you in trouble

Having said so, we ourselves have vixen.

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By *ljamMan over a year ago

Edinburgh

Totally agree. The racists... sorry, I mean "preffericists", should word it like "I'm not racist but..." or, "I can't be racist, I've got a black friend, but..." that way they're totally in the clear.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hasn't this subject been done to death??

Possibly you have seen a fair amount of it. I have not.

Does tat mean because you have seen it and i havent i shouldnt ask the question?

Whats the solution...a list of topics that people like you dont want to hear anymore?

What would that mean for newcomers to the site?

A simple search of the forums will give you all the answers you need.

This ladie is a serial negative responser in the forums...ive noticed this

Haha yes agree x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Gotta love the "preference" conversation. As prolific as it is we still contribute to these threads because it is a key debate that remains unresolved in this community.

Every time it rears it's incendiary head I ask this question: For those who indicate "no Asians" on their profile is this a cultural preference or a skin colour preference?" Do white skinned Russians have the same effect on your libido as black skinned Indians?

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By *stbury DavenportMan over a year ago

Nottingham

[Removed by poster at 22/01/21 11:17:52]

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By *stbury DavenportMan over a year ago

Nottingham

"As you spend more time here OP you'll realise that this can be a very judgey, sexist, homophbic, racist, Daily Mail reader kind of place"

Yep. Fab is by far the nastiest, most bigoted web forum I've ever participated in. There are a significant number of properly horrible people on here.

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By *icolerobbieCouple over a year ago

walsall

"So after seeing a fair amount of mainly female profiles stating "No Black guys" i read a forum post on here from a black guy who was frustrated by it.

The majority of comments defended the womans choice in sexual partner.

(This is the background to my question)

My question is if a male posted on his profile that he wasnt interested in Black women would he get the same defence as the ladies?

(Im in no way judging anybody or anyones personal views my question is to start a healthy discussion)

Yes op, I don’t think it would be any different if it was a male or female. Rightly or wrongly, both would be accused of racism.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS over a year ago

Horsham

The thing is sexual preference, is different from one person to the next.

You can't label a lesbian sexist, for not wanting to meet men. A person can't help what they find sexually attractive.

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By *offiaCoolWoman over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"The thing is sexual preference, is different from one person to the next.

You can't label a lesbian sexist, for not wanting to meet men. A person can't help what they find sexually attractive. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The thing is sexual preference, is different from one person to the next.

You can't label a lesbian sexist, for not wanting to meet men. A person can't help what they find sexually attractive. "

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By *icolerobbieCouple over a year ago

walsall

"As you spend more time here OP you'll realise that this can be a very judgey, sexist, homophbic, racist, Daily Mail reader kind of place

Yep. Fab is by far the nastiest, most bigoted web forum I've ever participated in. There are a significant number of properly horrible people on here. "

I’m sure there are much more nastier if you searched hard enough.

I’d advise trying to avoid anything that makes you feel bitter.

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

I think anyone who writes off a whole race has racist undertones towards that race.

Maybe subconsciously but still

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

*Unconsciously *

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lets just all agree.... theres allways going to be someone 'offended' in this delicate world.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think anyone who writes off a whole race has racist undertones towards that race.

Maybe subconsciously but still "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think anyone who writes off a whole race has racist undertones towards that race.

Maybe subconsciously but still "

I actually agree with that.

In the work I do we have subconscious prejudice Training.

We all have them it's just about whether we are aware of them or not.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think anyone who writes off a whole race has racist undertones towards that race.

Maybe subconsciously but still "

And if they do have subconscious racist feelings... then what?

If they aren't openly racist and the 'issue' is only that they don't want to have sex with one (or more) groups of people, where is the harm in that?

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By *ljamMan over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I think anyone who writes off a whole race has racist undertones towards that race.

Maybe subconsciously but still

And if they do have subconscious racist feelings... then what?

If they aren't openly racist and the 'issue' is only that they don't want to have sex with one (or more) groups of people, where is the harm in that? "

If they broadcast that they want no contact from a particular race then they are openly racist. The harm in that is that it's openly racist.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman over a year ago

Wirral.

"The thing is sexual preference, is different from one person to the next.

You can't label a lesbian sexist, for not wanting to meet men. A person can't help what they find sexually attractive. "

No they can't. But surely there's no need to broadcast, in black & white, their skin colour preference? It always come off a tad racist. To me, anyway.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman over a year ago

Wirral.

"I think anyone who writes off a whole race has racist undertones towards that race.

Maybe subconsciously but still

I actually agree with that.

In the work I do we have subconscious prejudice Training.

We all have them it's just about whether we are aware of them or not. "

Same here. And writing it on your profile just causes discord & upset.

As you said earlier, focus on what you DO want. Be nice x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Everyone is entitled to their preferences but I wonder, if a black guy approached a lady (or a black lady approached a guy) in a nightclub, coffee shop ... would you feel comfortable telling that person that you aren’t interested because they are black, could you happily say that out load and not feel embarrassed for the effect that might have on them as a human being or anyone overhearing?

I don’t think there’s a need for it but we use clubs more than fab for meets so it’s never been an issue for us expressing our preferences.

I think if you would feel like a .... saying something out loud in public, then you shouldn’t be saying it online male or female.

Simply ignoring a message or a thanks but no thanks is enough

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think anyone who writes off a whole race has racist undertones towards that race.

Maybe subconsciously but still "

Yes! I completely agree with you. I genuinely don't know how people can write this on their profile and say it is a preference.

How can you sit there and write black skin doesn't attract you? How can you write off a whole race? And why even say it? It doesn't sit right with me at all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Does stating "No TV/TS" as sexist?

To me it makes it clearer and easier, just like any other "no this" or "no that". "

No but some people will try and claim its Transphobic.

We are allowed a preference.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ones trash is another's treasure. Lots of profiles say no *insert race* men/women. Many profiles say looking for *insert race* men/women only. Theres enough members on here for it all to fall into place.

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By *ealthy_and_HungMan over a year ago

Princes Risborough, Luasanne, Alderney

neither for me thanks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think anyone who writes off a whole race has racist undertones towards that race.

Maybe subconsciously but still

Yes! I completely agree with you. I genuinely don't know how people can write this on their profile and say it is a preference.

How can you sit there and write black skin doesn't attract you? How can you write off a whole race? And why even say it? It doesn't sit right with me at all."

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By *heGateKeeperMan over a year ago

Stratford

Open racism is the best ‘form’ of racism in fairness. At least they’ve accepted it and you know what you’re dealing with

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As you spend more time here OP you'll realise that this can be a very judgey, sexist, homophbic, racist, Daily Mail reader kind of place

Usually dressed up with the word 'preference ' in the sentence somewhere.

The only thing that is good about profiles with these outspoken 'preferences' is that knowing who to avoid is easier.

What...

From what I have seen so far over the last 5 years are those people on the forums atleast are in the minority and are quickly shouted down buy others and chastised.

I would guess if you did a survey you find the majority would call themselves "progressive"

So much so that me (pretty centre leaning liberal) would be thought of as a right wing conservative

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By *ljamMan over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Open racism is the best ‘form’ of racism in fairness. At least they’ve accepted it and you know what you’re dealing with

The fact it's open but widely tolerated isn't good. If the people who put that shit on their profiles actually did a little self-reflection... maybe some reading on unc0nscious racism... then it'd be grand. However, the dissembling nonsense spouted by the preference brigade will prevent that, allowing the fragile egos of the self-deluded to remain intact.

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By *leasureUnowCouple over a year ago

Leamington Spa

Having now read 20 plus replies in this thread it refreshing to see that most people debate respectfully. Yes you get the odd person who tries to increase the temperature. But on the main it's positive.

On question posed I don't think the answer is simple. Some profiles are tactful. Other scream dislike for another races which is a shame because they lose out on amazing experiences.

This is why we love swinging. Not always, but unlike the vanilla world you tend to meet more genuine people and get to see them naked

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This topic shows the devolution of the human race in 2021.

I can’t believe people over the age of 30 can’t understand the difference between discrimination and sexual attraction......

I am a black man that does not like BBW women sexually..... I have many family members, friends, and co workers that are BBW’s that I love to bit’s .....

Just because you don’t like someone sexually doesn’t mean you will treat them differently in social or work settings.....

Just a quick example..... When I first started swinging there was a couple who used to throw private house parties.... The female half didn’t like black guys sexually but always treated me with respect and talked very highly about me to other couples interested in me....

If I would have called her a racist because she didn’t want to have sex with me... I would have missed out on the 10 - 15 couples that came to her parties.....

Now , Men on Fab have to be sycophants to get any attention on here... So stating in your profile that you’re married, bisexual, looking for athletic/fit women, and only European women.

Would get you called “ Up your own arse “ , “ Dirty Cheater “ , “ Liar “ , and “ racist “.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have viewed many, many profiles of different types - not always because of a sexual interest, more of an interest in the Western personality. I have seen the "no blacks, no Asians" in various forms on many single female profiles, a couple of times on male/female profiles, but never once on a single male's profile. What am I to conclude from this?

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By *emmabTV/TS over a year ago

Leicestershire

"I dont buy into it as a preference, never have.

Pretty it up however you like but its judging someone as part of a group, rather than as an individual."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This topic shows the devolution of the human race in 2021.

I can’t believe people over the age of 30 can’t understand the difference between discrimination and sexual attraction......

I am a black man that does not like BBW women sexually..... I have many family members, friends, and co workers that are BBW’s that I love to bit’s .....

Just because you don’t like someone sexually doesn’t mean you will treat them differently in social or work settings.....

If I would have called her a racist because she didn’t want to have sex with me... I would have missed out on the 10 - 15 couples that came to her parties.....

Now , Men on Fab have to be sycophants to get any attention on here... So stating in your profile that you’re married, bisexual, looking for athletic/fit women, and only European women.

Would get you called “ Up your own arse “ , “ Dirty Cheater “ , “ Liar “ , and “ racist “.

With you all the way to the last paragraph.

Someones preferences are just that.

Wording is important though, when I read “no blacks” “no asians” I remember the 1960s and have visions of Enoch Powell

You could say the same thing by saying caucasian/white only and cause far less offence.

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By *ex-BombsCouple over a year ago

Flitwick

Purely down to personal preference whether the profile is a male/female or couples is irrelevant, I personally (Mrs) don’t find Asian men attractive and that’s simply my preference. Sexual choice is very much each to their own.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Purely down to personal preference whether the profile is a male/female or couples is irrelevant, I personally (Mrs) don’t find Asian men attractive and that’s simply my preference. Sexual choice is very much each to their own. "

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/01/21 13:31:05]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like? "

And this is why I don’t state a racial preference.

I’m not predominantly attracted to black women, but if Angela Merkel shows up at my door I would say no thank you, yet if Beyonce did I would break lightspeed to my bedroom, whilst stripping off and oiling myself

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like? "

And what does ‘Asian’ even mean ? It covers billions of people from India to Korea to Indonesia to China and plenty in between, plus those of mixed Asian heritage.

If someone says they prefer tall or thin people I know what this means, with ‘black’ or ‘Asian’ I have no idea and suspect the worst.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like? "

Yes. This.

With Asians I assume it's culture and not skin colour? Vast swathes of Asians have pale skin. Isn't the caucasian region / the caucuses / in Asia?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This topic shows the devolution of the human race in 2021.

I can’t believe people over the age of 30 can’t understand the difference between discrimination and sexual attraction......

I am a black man that does not like BBW women sexually..... I have many family members, friends, and co workers that are BBW’s that I love to bit’s .....

Just because you don’t like someone sexually doesn’t mean you will treat them differently in social or work settings.....

If I would have called her a racist because she didn’t want to have sex with me... I would have missed out on the 10 - 15 couples that came to her parties.....

Now , Men on Fab have to be sycophants to get any attention on here... So stating in your profile that you’re married, bisexual, looking for athletic/fit women, and only European women.

Would get you called “ Up your own arse “ , “ Dirty Cheater “ , “ Liar “ , and “ racist “.

Agree 100%. If people are not attracted to me or a TV, Trans or whatever because of that I wouldnt label them transphobic

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like? "

Read Rude boy’s post above. It’s very eloquent and easy to understand. Nobody should be able to dictate who should be able to fuck someone, that is the right of the individual alone. I know I’m not attracted to guys shorter than me, it just is and I don’t see why I should question myself and try and work out why. Nobody should be required to justify their sexual choices as long as it’s between consenting adults.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like?

And what does ‘Asian’ even mean ? It covers billions of people from India to Korea to Indonesia to China and plenty in between, plus those of mixed Asian heritage.

If someone says they prefer tall or thin people I know what this means, with ‘black’ or ‘Asian’ I have no idea and suspect the worst."

Yes exactly! You make excellent points. It's like they think they think they all look the same.

I will never understand how people can think this is acceptable.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like?

And what does ‘Asian’ even mean ? It covers billions of people from India to Korea to Indonesia to China and plenty in between, plus those of mixed Asian heritage.

If someone says they prefer tall or thin people I know what this means, with ‘black’ or ‘Asian’ I have no idea and suspect the worst."

Maybe that's a problem with your mindset and bias then

Maybe you see racism where there is none

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By *ex-BombsCouple over a year ago

Flitwick

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like? "

I don’t have a definitive reason I have just never come across an Asian man I’m attracted to, any person regardless of race there needs to be some form of an attraction to enjoy naughty, hedonistic times

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like? "

Why don’t you give me a chance?

Why are you not interested in me ?

The point of my post is to highlight to you , that you are doing the same thing single men do when you reply “ No thank you “

People are here to connect with people, not explain themselves.....

I’m not trying to be rude , it’s just that you can’t have it both ways....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Without viewing each profile that has replied.

It would be intreasting to see how black/asian men and women thoughts on profiles that state no to them.

Personaly I've never been attracted to black and asian types.But I dont state that as a choice.

We all have a choice. Big or small cocks, tits, fannys body size.

Ignore those moaning because you dont fit what they desire. Just be polite in your reply.

Unless your extremley rude I doubt you will be taken to court because you said no.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman over a year ago

Wirral.

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like?

And what does ‘Asian’ even mean ? It covers billions of people from India to Korea to Indonesia to China and plenty in between, plus those of mixed Asian heritage.

If someone says they prefer tall or thin people I know what this means, with ‘black’ or ‘Asian’ I have no idea and suspect the worst.

Yes exactly! You make excellent points. It's like they think they think they all look the same.

I will never understand how people can think this is acceptable.

Me too. It's very sad.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like?

Why don’t you give me a chance?

Why are you not interested in me ?

The point of my post is to highlight to you , that you are doing the same thing single men do when you reply “ No thank you “

People are here to connect with people, not explain themselves.....

I’m not trying to be rude , it’s just that you can’t have it both ways....

Yet with height there is a biological desire in most women for taller men. Evolution helps us understand taller men were stronger and faster thus better providers as a whole.

I think race should surely have some level of justification. As mentioned above I am not attracted to most black women, for me it’s facial features just dont align with what I find attractive, yet would I be brazen enough to say “no black women” no because Halle Berry and Michelle Obama are both gorgeous

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like?

Why don’t you give me a chance?

Why are you not interested in me ?

The point of my post is to highlight to you , that you are doing the same thing single men do when you reply “ No thank you “

People are here to connect with people, not explain themselves.....

I’m not trying to be rude , it’s just that you can’t have it both ways....

I'm not trying to force anyone to change their views or dictate who fucks who. If you're happy and others are and all parties involved don’t have an issue then that's fine for you all isn't it? But I've tried to understand this issue many times and I'll never be able to view it as a just a preference and to me, comparing skin colour and height is completely different. I don't see the need for it to be stated.

Why can't you just say you're not attracted to them when both parties connect? Why do people have to make it about skin colour?

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By *ljamMan over a year ago

Edinburgh

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like?

Why don’t you give me a chance?

Why are you not interested in me ?

The point of my post is to highlight to you , that you are doing the same thing single men do when you reply “ No thank you “

People are here to connect with people, not explain themselves.....

I’m not trying to be rude , it’s just that you can’t have it both ways....

Yet with height there is a biological desire in most women for taller men. Evolution helps us understand taller men were stronger and faster thus better providers as a whole.

Yep, there's a leap from I generally don't find x people attractive, to I won't entertain any x people. That's the leap of racism, but many fail to acknowledge it for one reason or another.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Why haven't you included couples in this discussion.

In my experience, it's generally couples that state this.

I will admit to not looking at profiles often enough to make a numbers statement.

The phrase , 'no blacks' is racist.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

And before someone with the reactionary emotions of a lizard on hot sand drops the gem ...... Don't call me racist.....

I said the phrase is racist... try some other diversionary tactic... or just stop saying it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like?

Why don’t you give me a chance?

Why are you not interested in me ?

The point of my post is to highlight to you , that you are doing the same thing single men do when you reply “ No thank you “

People are here to connect with people, not explain themselves.....

I’m not trying to be rude , it’s just that you can’t have it both ways....

If someone on Fab is not interested in you as an individual, they are I hope basing that on your individual profile, photos, etc.

If they feel the need to rule out all black men simply because they are black then that’s a different issue.

And ultimately we can all see photos and read profiles. No one is forced to reply or meet anyone at all. So why use wording which carries such discriminatory overtones ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like?

Why don’t you give me a chance?

Why are you not interested in me ?

The point of my post is to highlight to you , that you are doing the same thing single men do when you reply “ No thank you “

People are here to connect with people, not explain themselves.....

I’m not trying to be rude , it’s just that you can’t have it both ways....

Yet with height there is a biological desire in most women for taller men. Evolution helps us understand taller men were stronger and faster thus better providers as a whole.

Yep, there's a leap from I generally don't find x people attractive, to I won't entertain any x people. That's the leap of racism, but many fail to acknowledge it for one reason or another."

It might possibly be considered to be racism after considering the context in the world of work and in society. It is NOT racism when it’s my body and my choice of who I want to have sex with.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like?

Why don’t you give me a chance?

Why are you not interested in me ?

The point of my post is to highlight to you , that you are doing the same thing single men do when you reply “ No thank you “

People are here to connect with people, not explain themselves.....

I’m not trying to be rude , it’s just that you can’t have it both ways....

Yet with height there is a biological desire in most women for taller men. Evolution helps us understand taller men were stronger and faster thus better providers as a whole.

Yep, there's a leap from I generally don't find x people attractive, to I won't entertain any x people. That's the leap of racism, but many fail to acknowledge it for one reason or another.

It might possibly be considered to be racism after considering the context in the world of work and in society. It is NOT racism when it’s my body and my choice of who I want to have sex with. "

I agree and I think a better word would be prejudice rather than racism.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And before someone with the reactionary emotions of a lizard on hot sand drops the gem ...... Don't call me racist.....

I said the phrase is racist... try some other diversionary tactic... or just stop saying it. "

I hate the don’t call me racist people!

There thinking is,

“I am going to be racist”

“I don’t want people though to know I am racist”

“I don’t believe in repercussions for my actions”

“So if people don’t call me racist Im clearly not one!”

“I am more worried about seeming racist than actually being racist”

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a mixed race man I think that everyone as there own preferences who.they want to meet or chat with but this is my own opinion

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By *ex-BombsCouple over a year ago

Flitwick

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like?

Why don’t you give me a chance?

Why are you not interested in me ?

The point of my post is to highlight to you , that you are doing the same thing single men do when you reply “ No thank you “

People are here to connect with people, not explain themselves.....

I’m not trying to be rude , it’s just that you can’t have it both ways....

Why can't you just say you're not attracted to them when both parties connect? Why do people have to make it about skin colour? "

If I don’t find someone attractive why would I want to waste their time? Personally I smoke and a lot of people won’t meet smokers, everyone has their own preferences whatever that maybe, I have a lot of friends of various backgrounds, not everyone you meet will want to engage sexually. I’d much rather be upfront

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like?

Why don’t you give me a chance?

Why are you not interested in me ?

The point of my post is to highlight to you , that you are doing the same thing single men do when you reply “ No thank you “

People are here to connect with people, not explain themselves.....

I’m not trying to be rude , it’s just that you can’t have it both ways....

Why can't you just say you're not attracted to them when both parties connect? Why do people have to make it about skin colour?

And as I mentioned above height has evolutionary context as to whats attractive.

People don’t meet smokers because they don’t like the smell.

What is it specifically about race that makes people say no to an entire swathe of the planets population?

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By *ex-BombsCouple over a year ago

Flitwick

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like?

Why don’t you give me a chance?

Why are you not interested in me ?

The point of my post is to highlight to you , that you are doing the same thing single men do when you reply “ No thank you “

People are here to connect with people, not explain themselves.....

I’m not trying to be rude , it’s just that you can’t have it both ways....

Why can't you just say you're not attracted to them when both parties connect? Why do people have to make it about skin colour?

And as I mentioned above height has evolutionary context as to whats attractive.

People don’t meet smokers because they don’t like the smell.

What is it specifically about race that makes people say no to an entire swathe of the planets population?"

For me race is irrelevant, If I haven’t come across someone that I find attractive by now I would doubt that’s ever going to change and I would rather be upfront than mislead someone. This is a fab site literally and there is something for everyone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

At what point does people such as myself questioning, not berating or accusing or being negative towards, people using the statement No blacks/ no Asians, imply I think you should fuck people you don't want to?

Nobody is saying that.

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By *ackformore100Man over a year ago

Tin town

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like? "

Think your putting words in their mouth now. Which isn't really very fair.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like?

Why don’t you give me a chance?

Why are you not interested in me ?

The point of my post is to highlight to you , that you are doing the same thing single men do when you reply “ No thank you “

People are here to connect with people, not explain themselves.....

I’m not trying to be rude , it’s just that you can’t have it both ways....

Why can't you just say you're not attracted to them when both parties connect? Why do people have to make it about skin colour?

And as I mentioned above height has evolutionary context as to whats attractive.

People don’t meet smokers because they don’t like the smell.

What is it specifically about race that makes people say no to an entire swathe of the planets population?"

It's just awful. I'm going to step away now as this is just making me feel frustrated.

It's like people forget about how much discrimination and hatred people of colour face in life, and by writing stupid shit like NO BLACKS you are just singling them into a group like they are less worthy because of the colour of their skin. It's ignorant and sad. And I honestly will never see the point of stating things like this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

With respect saying ‘no smokers’ does not have the same historic meaning as ‘no black men’. You don’t have to waste anyone’s time, you can reply and meet who you want. But what is gained by using language which can clearly be hurtful and offensive?

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By *ljamMan over a year ago

Edinburgh

What is it about every single Asian man you don't find attractive? I'm genuinely curious.

And the same to those who aren't attracted to black skin. What is it about every black person that you don't like?

Why don’t you give me a chance?

Why are you not interested in me ?

The point of my post is to highlight to you , that you are doing the same thing single men do when you reply “ No thank you “

People are here to connect with people, not explain themselves.....

I’m not trying to be rude , it’s just that you can’t have it both ways....

Yet with height there is a biological desire in most women for taller men. Evolution helps us understand taller men were stronger and faster thus better providers as a whole.

Yep, there's a leap from I generally don't find x people attractive, to I won't entertain any x people. That's the leap of racism, but many fail to acknowledge it for one reason or another.

It might possibly be considered to be racism after considering the context in the world of work and in society. It is NOT racism when it’s my body and my choice of who I want to have sex with. "

"Might possibly" be considered racism in the worlds of work and society?! There's no might or possibly about it... just like openly declaring "no blacks/Asians etc." is signalling to the world that you are summarily judging entire ethnicities based on... wait for it... race! I'm sure there's a word for that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"At what point does people such as myself questioning, not berating or accusing or being negative towards, people using the statement No blacks/ no Asians, imply I think you should fuck people you don't want to?

Nobody is saying that. "

You are judging. Why do you need to question someone for what they choose to write on their profile? You don’t know their history or reasons. Live and let live. If it doesn’t suit you, block and move on.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

"So after seeing a fair amount of mainly female profiles stating "No Black guys" i read a forum post on here from a black guy who was frustrated by it.

The majority of comments defended the womans choice in sexual partner.

(This is the background to my question)

My question is if a male posted on his profile that he wasnt interested in Black women would he get the same defence as the ladies?

(Im in no way judging anybody or anyones personal views my question is to start a healthy discussion)

In my experience on the forums, I would say yes they would get the same support.

It's not necessarily very sensible because many guys have difficulty getting conversions going on here even without excluding chunks of the population.

My personal opinion about all this is it's perfectly OK to have such preferences, but it would be better to keep them to yourself. Anybody can just not respond to or politely decline people who don't meet your preferences. That would still give the same outcome but avoid the risk of offence.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hi Aljam, can’t message you because of filters but I agree and support all your comments

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nobody is saying that.

You know me, I have an inquiring mind and I'm asking questions based on the debate at hand.

The most common question I ask remains unanswered. Is it cultural or aesthetic reasons that make people write no blacks or asians.

I'm allowed to be intrigued, right? This is the right room for that?

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By *ex-BombsCouple over a year ago

Flitwick

Nobody is saying that.

You know me, I have an inquiring mind and I'm asking questions based on the debate at hand.

The most common question I ask remains unanswered. Is it cultural or aesthetic reasons that make people write no blacks or asians.

I'm allowed to be intrigued, right? This is the right room for that?

Intrigue is always good! Personally aesthetically

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nobody is saying that.

You know me, I have an inquiring mind and I'm asking questions based on the debate at hand.

The most common question I ask remains unanswered. Is it cultural or aesthetic reasons that make people write no blacks or asians.

I'm allowed to be intrigued, right? This is the right room for that?

Intrigue is always good! Personally aesthetically "

Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I first joined Fab, I found it really sad that black men had to ask in their opening messages if I was into black guys or not. I didn't realise it was because there are so many profiles on here stating colour preferences.

Once I had a few mixed veri's it soon stopped the need.

Women can pretty much dictate whatever they want as the m:f ratio is so skewed. Men are probably tarring themselves declaring such opinions. Life isn't always fair and fab greatly showcases that.

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman over a year ago

Victoria, London

It's stating a preference up front. Same as we see guys that won't see BBWs. It's fine, we move on, not waste time.