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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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if someone spends time in sending message and photo not insulting ones then should he not expect a reply ? why just delete it as trash .We are all adults on here so why not treat us the same as we treat each other ? we are all after sex not insults |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP may you are one of the few sensible chaps who will reply thanks and move on or block, so as not to message again or accept the no thanks humbly.
Others chaps will want to know why youre rejecting them, try to convince you to change your mind, try to ‘just be friends’, send abuse, replying also breaks future filter protection.
Just delete your sent messages. If you get a reply its a nice surprise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I don’t get a reply I accept that I’m not for everyone, probably not for the majority of people, and that’s alright with me  if I do get a reply even if it’s thanks but no thanks that’s absolutely fine and appreciate the honesty
But I definitely do see why people don’t reply, the sheer volume of messages some people must receive on here must be immense, and the attitude some people have to rejection is just embarrassing |
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"if someone spends time in sending message and photo not insulting ones then should he not expect a reply ? why just delete it as trash .We are all adults on here so why not treat us the same as we treat each other ? we are all after sex not insults "
I'm not after sex and most of the messages I do get ARE trash.
296 sat in my inbox, you want me to spend all tonight and tomorrow replying to them all saying no thanks, and then replying to the replies I get for replying?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if someone spends time in sending message and photo not insulting ones then should he not expect a reply ? why just delete it as trash .We are all adults on here so why not treat us the same as we treat each other ? we are all after sex not insults
I'm not after sex and most of the messages I do get ARE trash.
296 sat in my inbox, you want me to spend all tonight and tomorrow replying to them all saying no thanks, and then replying to the replies I get for replying?
"
295?? Wow, yeah that’s exactly why I don’t blame anyone for not replying to a message |
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"if someone spends time in sending message and photo not insulting ones then should he not expect a reply ? why just delete it as trash .We are all adults on here so why not treat us the same as we treat each other ? we are all after sex not insults
I'm not after sex and most of the messages I do get ARE trash.
296 sat in my inbox, you want me to spend all tonight and tomorrow replying to them all saying no thanks, and then replying to the replies I get for replying?
295?? Wow, yeah that’s exactly why I don’t blame anyone for not replying to a message"
That's pretty low.
Pre-covid there was very rarely less than 400 unread.
I even state on my profile I rarely read messages and still get loads. Still get called an ignorant cunt for not reading messages I said I wouldn't read.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if someone spends time in sending message and photo not insulting ones then should he not expect a reply ? why just delete it as trash .We are all adults on here so why not treat us the same as we treat each other ? we are all after sex not insults
I'm not after sex and most of the messages I do get ARE trash.
296 sat in my inbox, you want me to spend all tonight and tomorrow replying to them all saying no thanks, and then replying to the replies I get for replying?
295?? Wow, yeah that’s exactly why I don’t blame anyone for not replying to a message
That's pretty low.
Pre-covid there was very rarely less than 400 unread.
I even state on my profile I rarely read messages and still get loads. Still get called an ignorant cunt for not reading messages I said I wouldn't read. "
Wow that is a lot, yeah how the fuck are you meant to look through them even if there was someone ho sent you the 278th message who you might of actually liked, and to be called an ignorant cunt just shows that they’re absolute Neanderthals tbh |
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If somebody comes up to you on the street and puts effort into talking to you even if you don't want them to, should they "expect" you to stop and chat? I wouldn't.
As you say, you are an adult. You should be able to accept somebody not being interested in you. On this site, like many others, you send a message and hope for the best. You may be lucky, you may not. If you are, then great. If not move on. After all, you're an adult.
You have no right to "expect" anything, unless you contribute to the cost of personal assistants for people who get a lot of messages. Nobody is under any obligation to reply to anybody. It's not a precondition of signing up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just go with the flow.. no responce is a responce - just not the one you might like! So don't take it personally...
The right people for you will message you back, just remember you are a small fish in a big pond!
Good luck! |
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"if someone spends time in sending message and photo not insulting ones then should he not expect a reply ? why just delete it as trash .We are all adults on here so why not treat us the same as we treat each other ? we are all after sex not insults
I'm not after sex and most of the messages I do get ARE trash.
296 sat in my inbox, you want me to spend all tonight and tomorrow replying to them all saying no thanks, and then replying to the replies I get for replying?
"
I wondered why you hadn’t responded to my marriage proposal. |
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I don’t even read most of my messages. I think I’ve got about 330 ish unread at the moment and I have no intention of reading them. I try to keep track of conversations I’m having but sometimes I loose those messages amongst the new ones
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Can you honestly imagine how many message ladies get on here? Just turning on ‘who’s near’ will show you it’s wall to wall blokes. Literally blokes as far as the eye can see lol... Don’t overthink it, take the wins and the losses. Set yourself some rules...if it’s a straight unopened delete I tend to block the profile not out of bitterness but as I’m clearly not for them. People come and go, get bored, get better offers. Just suck it up and move on  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As will be obvious from the replies here, single ladies get inundated with messages on a daily basis. Replying to each and every one is not practical.
Speaking from personal experience, I would say the vast majority of messages I send go unopened. After about threee weeks, unopened messages disappear from your sent items folder. I've no idea if they remain in the recipients inbox, but after three weeks there are probably a few thousand messages above it in any case!
I found if I send a message when the recpient is showing as "active" then the likelihood of it being opened increased.
I try and ensure the message is tailored to the profile I'm writing to. While I have a few things I always say in the message, I try and make reference to something in their words or pictures that show my message is not a random cut and paste.
I attach a recent clear face photo. Photos increase the chance of the message being opened. Avoid cock photos, unless the profile expressly demands one.
None of the above is any guarantee of a reply though. But does that matter? If you've sent a nice message, a clear photo, have a good profile which they view (can't always see if they have mind) and you don't get a reply... that is your reply! If all of that happens, and the message is deleted, I block, as they have indicated no interest and I don't want to bother them or waste my time again.
But... sometimes, I do get a reply. More often than not it's a "Thank you for your nice message, but not for me!". Very, very occasionally it's a positive response, and a conversation develops, and in a few instances that leads to meeting a very nice person...
...making the effort, the drudgery, the blisters on your fingers all worthwhile. |
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"if someone spends time in sending message and photo not insulting ones then should he not expect a reply ? why just delete it as trash .We are all adults on here so why not treat us the same as we treat each other ? we are all after sex not insults "
No one owes you a reply fella get used to it  
If you’re message isn’t interesting or your profile doesn’t appeal to them why the hell would they ?  
Now stop bitching and put your big boy pants on  |
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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
"if someone spends time in sending message and photo not insulting ones then should he not expect a reply ? why just delete it as trash .We are all adults on here so why not treat us the same as we treat each other ? we are all after sex not insults
I'm not after sex and most of the messages I do get ARE trash.
296 sat in my inbox, you want me to spend all tonight and tomorrow replying to them all saying no thanks, and then replying to the replies I get for replying?
295?? Wow, yeah that’s exactly why I don’t blame anyone for not replying to a message
That's pretty low.
Pre-covid there was very rarely less than 400 unread.
I even state on my profile I rarely read messages and still get loads. Still get called an ignorant cunt for not reading messages I said I wouldn't read. "
I'll trump you... Over 1000 in mine I'm so lax at replying and deleting  |
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I accidentally put a photo as public yesterday & had my mailbox hammered for the next 5 til I removed it...over 50 just in that time.
It's partly why I don't display photos, less messages to filter through. I can send one if I like someone so not an issue.
It's too much to filter through & reply to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if someone spends time in sending message and photo not insulting ones then should he not expect a reply ? why just delete it as trash .We are all adults on here so why not treat us the same as we treat each other ? we are all after sex not insults "
It's not perceived as insulting and is the easy option so it's therefore just accepted by many as ok. Some of us do still think it's insulting if you spend the time reading their profile and crafting a suitable response only to be deleted. Even moreso when you here said same people regularly complaining on the forums or in statuses to please read profile. However OP it won't ever change so use your send function very carefully and adapt to this by being very selective with whom you send a message too.
I block those whom don't reply or just delete. Saves any future miscommunications.
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"I accidentally put a photo as public yesterday & had my mailbox hammered for the next 5 til I removed it...over 50 just in that time.
It's partly why I don't display photos, less messages to filter through. I can send one if I like someone so not an issue.
It's too much to filter through & reply to. "
Even with the filters you still get hundreds of messages?? |
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"if someone spends time in sending message and photo not insulting ones then should he not expect a reply ? why just delete it as trash .We are all adults on here so why not treat us the same as we treat each other ? we are all after sex not insults
I'm not after sex and most of the messages I do get ARE trash.
296 sat in my inbox, you want me to spend all tonight and tomorrow replying to them all saying no thanks, and then replying to the replies I get for replying?
"
THIS.
OP it’s naive to assume you are the only person messaging on women on here. Just like we don’t ask you to justify why you are messaging, it’s not owed to you why we decide to not message back. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
If people cheat to get through my filters I don't reply. If someone messages me expecting sex talk or a meet I don't reply. If someobe who messages after I said I wasn't interested I don't reply. I don't ask for pics in a message so I don't know why I'd be expected to reply to someone who sends one. I do keep my filters tight so I don't get a lot of messages but I'm not going to message people back if their profile doesn't appeal to me. It's the first thing I look at before I reply.
I don't know why anyone expects a reply from someone they don't know and yes I have sent messages first I have no issue doing that. I do not expect anyone I message to reply tho and I certainly don't think they are rude if they don't. |
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I am sick and tired of trying to be polite on here...I reply to a message with a respectful no thank you but then get the usual "oh but this...oh but that'
I've said no that should be the end of it...
Easier now just to delete. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if someone spends time in sending message and photo not insulting ones then should he not expect a reply ? why just delete it as trash .We are all adults on here so why not treat us the same as we treat each other ? we are all after sex not insults "
Are we all after sex Danny??
Obviously we know that you are. |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"I am sick and tired of trying to be polite on here...I reply to a message with a respectful no thank you but then get the usual "oh but this...oh but that'
I've said no that should be the end of it...
Easier now just to delete."
Oh. I won't pester you anymore.  |
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"I am sick and tired of trying to be polite on here...I reply to a message with a respectful no thank you but then get the usual "oh but this...oh but that'
I've said no that should be the end of it...
Easier now just to delete.
Oh. I won't pester you anymore. "
As if |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"I am sick and tired of trying to be polite on here...I reply to a message with a respectful no thank you but then get the usual "oh but this...oh but that'
I've said no that should be the end of it...
Easier now just to delete.
Oh. I won't pester you anymore.
As if "
OK. OK. OK. But only once more (at least). |
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"I accidentally put a photo as public yesterday & had my mailbox hammered for the next 5 til I removed it...over 50 just in that time.
It's partly why I don't display photos, less messages to filter through. I can send one if I like someone so not an issue.
It's too much to filter through & reply to.
Even with the filters you still get hundreds of messages??"
Of course, there is still those that are in my 'brackets' & the filters don't always work. |
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"I accidentally put a photo as public yesterday & had my mailbox hammered for the next 5 til I removed it...over 50 just in that time.
It's partly why I don't display photos, less messages to filter through. I can send one if I like someone so not an issue.
It's too much to filter through & reply to.
Even with the filters you still get hundreds of messages??
Of course, there is still those that are in my 'brackets' & the filters don't always work."
And once you've replied "no thanks" those filters no longer count and that person can continue to message |
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"I accidentally put a photo as public yesterday & had my mailbox hammered for the next 5 til I removed it...over 50 just in that time.
It's partly why I don't display photos, less messages to filter through. I can send one if I like someone so not an issue.
It's too much to filter through & reply to.
Even with the filters you still get hundreds of messages??
Of course, there is still those that are in my 'brackets' & the filters don't always work.
And once you've replied "no thanks" those filters no longer count and that person can continue to message"
Isn't it then the block called upon  |
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There is a flip side to it as well. People have it on their profile they want people to message them especially if they fit what they are looking for. Message gets sent and the reply back is down right rude. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is a flip side to it as well. People have it on their profile they want people to message them especially if they fit what they are looking for. Message gets sent and the reply back is down right rude. "
90% of the people who message us do not fit what we are looking for yet they still bother us.
And then they expect a decent reply? |
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"There is a flip side to it as well. People have it on their profile they want people to message them especially if they fit what they are looking for. Message gets sent and the reply back is down right rude. "
The rude reply isn't warranted, but many people who think they fit the bill of what I'm looking for... don't. |
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Just out of interest OP
When I worked years ago in sales, sending clients, prospects, suppliers etc. emails.
Do you think it would of been good proactive to constantly ask and email them further when they didn’t respond?
Do you answer every call asking you about PPI, utility swaps or respond to every email telling you that you have to respond to buy this product or that one?
It is good that we take time to craft a message and that we put something of ourselves into it just like those in the above businesses. But it doesn’t give us a right to a reply. That’s stage two, and we don’t control that.
Sometimes our amazing prose is just not striking them as relevant or wanted. That’s all.
Dust off, move on and try another. Good luck in your sexual pursuits |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if someone spends time in sending message and photo not insulting ones then should he not expect a reply ? why just delete it as trash .We are all adults on here so why not treat us the same as we treat each other ? we are all after sex not insults "
No one owes you anything and the women here have a million messages to get through daily. Judging by your passive aggressive post, if they messaged to say no thanks you'd probably get abusive. |
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"if someone spends time in sending message and photo not insulting ones then should he not expect a reply ? why just delete it as trash .We are all adults on here so why not treat us the same as we treat each other ? we are all after sex not insults "
After pressing the green arrow it is clear you have a bee in your bonnet about this.
I have however, noticed you fail to reply to a single response after your initial moan.
Bit rude, people have taken time to craft a response, manners cost nothing. |
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By *ickJMan
over a year ago
Hemel Hempstead |
"if someone spends time in sending message and photo not insulting ones then should he not expect a reply ? why just delete it as trash .We are all adults on here so why not treat us the same as we treat each other ? we are all after sex not insults "
As a middle aged single male, I don't get a lot of messages, so replying to all of them even to say "no thanks" is easy.
A single woman on here must get hundreds of messages, so even reading them all must be impossible. That's why so many women's profiles seem to say "I don't always read messages, if you don't get a reply, that means No Thankyou".
I don't think it's reasonable to /expect/ any reply. You can hope for one, but if she doesn't read or reply, then either she's too busy, has too many messages, or isn't interested. Move on!
Life is too short to get upset that someone hasn't read or responded to your unsolicited message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if someone spends time in sending message and photo not insulting ones then should he not expect a reply ? why just delete it as trash .We are all adults on here so why not treat us the same as we treat each other ? we are all after sex not insults
After pressing the green arrow it is clear you have a bee in your bonnet about this.
I have however, noticed you fail to reply to a single response after your initial moan.
Bit rude, people have taken time to craft a response, manners cost nothing. "
Exactly, he's too hurt to reply here as he hasn't gotten the answer he wanted. Imagine what he'd be like if a woman rejected him... |
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"Non replies and deleted messages are classed as not interested, it’s in the rules as women and couples get inundated with messages"
Exactly this and op don’t take it to heart remember we are in the middle of a pandemic |
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By *ankie303Woman
over a year ago
Weirdsville South Coast Dorset |
This again
Op, are you going to keep starting these threads until someone says something you want to hear?
Its not you its them
Your profile is so interesting people should reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Haven't read the whole thread but there is the fact that if you reply to say 'not for me' politely it can affect filters. If I block single males from messaging, anyone that I have replied to before can still message and the filter doesn't effect them.
If they then continue to message asking why I'm not interested, or trying to convince me they are a good guy, or being abusive I have then have to block them specifically.
No one wants to send a message back saying I'm not interested because of X Y Z and be negative towards another when they could be exactly right for someone else. It's not nice and I for one don't like doing it or having to explain myself.
So, you chose to message a woman, she can chose if she wants to reply. 9 times out of ten she'll hit the delete button to avoid explaining herself, putting you down or being negative no matter how politely or the reason and keeps her filters effective too without having to outright block you specifically which also isn't a nice thing to do someone as that can also be taken personally. |
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If we get a nice message we will usually reply even if it's a no thank you,but if it is obvious that they have not even flicked through our profile,we will usually delete.
At the end of the day yes we are all adults, but if you cant handle no response to a message then maybe this isn't the place for you.
No offence intended |
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"I accidentally put a photo as public yesterday & had my mailbox hammered for the next 5 til I removed it...over 50 just in that time.
It's partly why I don't display photos, less messages to filter through. I can send one if I like someone so not an issue.
It's too much to filter through & reply to. "
Crazy that by posting pics publically it’s seen as an open invite and you can end up with hundreds of messages from people all feeling entitled to a response |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This again
Op, are you going to keep starting these threads until someone says something you want to hear?
Its not you its them
Your profile is so interesting people should reply "
Took the words out of my mouth! |
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"Oh, and as I've just looked back through the forum:
Chuffin' Heck! How many times are you going to start a thread asking the same question?"
Til he gets the answer he wants.
Erm, excuse me OP, you've not replied to everyone on the thread, I think that's terribly rude of you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I accidentally put a photo as public yesterday & had my mailbox hammered for the next 5 til I removed it...over 50 just in that time.
It's partly why I don't display photos, less messages to filter through. I can send one if I like someone so not an issue.
It's too much to filter through & reply to.
Even with the filters you still get hundreds of messages??
Of course, there is still those that are in my 'brackets' & the filters don't always work.
And once you've replied "no thanks" those filters no longer count and that person can continue to message"
Maybe the OP is a stalker looking to circumnavigate the filters of the naive... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP, do you honestly believe that your profile sells you? Honestly, I wouldn't reply to a female with a profile that is a silhouette and no punctuation. Time to stop fishing on the forum and put some effort in to telling people what you are all about fella. For the record this is constructive criticism. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if someone spends time in sending message and photo not insulting ones then should he not expect a reply ? why just delete it as trash .We are all adults on here so why not treat us the same as we treat each other ? we are all after sex not insults "
No one is insulting you because this is the way fab works rightly or wrongly and 99.9% of the 30,000 people on here know that.
If you get a leaflet from a pizza place and you don’t reply to them is that insulting because after all we all want food right.
Chill and change you fab approach and yo will have a better adventure.
Best of luck op.
T |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if someone spends time in sending message and photo not insulting ones then should he not expect a reply ? why just delete it as trash .We are all adults on here so why not treat us the same as we treat each other ? we are all after sex not insults
I'm not after sex and most of the messages I do get ARE trash.
296 sat in my inbox, you want me to spend all tonight and tomorrow replying to them all saying no thanks, and then replying to the replies I get for replying?
295?? Wow, yeah that’s exactly why I don’t blame anyone for not replying to a message
That's pretty low.
Pre-covid there was very rarely less than 400 unread.
I even state on my profile I rarely read messages and still get loads. Still get called an ignorant cunt for not reading messages I said I wouldn't read. "
I have on my profile that I don't reply to every message and still get bitched at for not replying... If you're that desperate for a reply, why message someone like me who doesn't reply to all messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always try to reply and are happy to.. some guys don't take no for an answer though which can get a little exhausting. I understand why people don't reply sometimes, but I don't understand rudeness |
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I do reply to most. There are times I’ve not replied, for whatever reason I’m not interested, and I’ve had a really shitty message calling me all sorts. On other occasions I have replied with a no thanks, and I had really shitty messages calling me all sorts and saying I’m stuck up and they’re not interested in me anyway. You can’t win with some people |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
I find it can open a chain of correspondence, where they try to find a reason why your no, you live 20,000 miles away and aren't what I'm looking for, really means, yes, I'll meet you in a layby near your work at 4AM when you come off shift. It's like trying to explain to a double glazing seller why you don't want to spend 20k on windows, when all you want is to get on with your night. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Non replies and deleted messages are classed as not interested, it’s in the rules as women and couples get inundated with messages"
Don't bupu just love the ratio! |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
How many women have you sent messages to since joining OP?
Now think about the ratio of males to females on here & imagine that all those males send at least as many messages to the women as well(possibly considerably more). Do you really expect every woman to reply to every message? |
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Take over my inbox and reply politely to every message and see if you still have the same opinion!
I did once try this approach, and I'd estimate 25% would reply 'no worries, thanks for replying'. The other 75% either want to give you a barrage of really nasty abuse or insist on knowing the ins and outs of why you don't want to fall over yourself to get into their bed and try convinced you that you're wrong
Unfortunately if you're getting 50-100 mails a day there aren't the hours in the day to give every single one the VIP treatment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do reply to most. There are times I’ve not replied, for whatever reason I’m not interested, and I’ve had a really shitty message calling me all sorts. On other occasions I have replied with a no thanks, and I had really shitty messages calling me all sorts and saying I’m stuck up and they’re not interested in me anyway. You can’t win with some people "
As per our profile I reply to all messages but I fully also understand why people don’t because in our experience most don’t deserve a reply insulting or not.
T |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
Get over yourself, op, you're entitled to diddly squat here or any where else. Send many a message and delete them all, put your slippers on and make a brew then wait for a reply, you might get none but you might get one and make the most of it fisherman. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if someone spends time in sending message and photo not insulting ones then should he not expect a reply ? why just delete it as trash .We are all adults on here so why not treat us the same as we treat each other ? we are all after sex not insults "
Why? Do you reply to every fast food menu posted through your letterbox? That's the average standard of message that we get, especially from single guys. If we get a message where someone has made an effort and read our profile, we'll look at their profile before replying. Profiles with no pics and non sensical ranting text would put us off immediately. Oh an any sniff of the overly entitled attitude that so many 'silhouettes' seem to have. But that's just us! |
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Probably been said by the hundreds who read the fab terms and conditions. No reply means not interested. Deal with it, lose obsesseion with others who you message and don't reply. When in Rome...
If you can't handle it, you may need to decide to change your expectations. Or possibly the site conditions are not for you.
There's an pandemic so fab is not a priority for getting meets |
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"if someone spends time in sending message and photo not insulting ones then should he not expect a reply ? why just delete it as trash .We are all adults on here so why not treat us the same as we treat each other ? we are all after sex not insults "
If a site owner spends time writing an FAQ that explains all this and much more, then recommends people read it, why do people not bother and then complain about it in the forums?
We all read the FAQs and rules, and search for a topic before posting don't we? |
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