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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Drop your jokes in to make everyone smile...
I’ll start with a covid related joke..
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Bloke buys a talking centipede for £5000 and takes it home in a small box.
After 30 minutes he opens the box and says ‘Would you like to go for a pint?’
The centipede doesn’t answer... raising his voice he repeats the question, still no answer.
Getting angry and thinking he’s been sold a fake, he shouts the question loudly.
At which point the centipede sticks his head out of the box and says ‘I heard you the first time, I’m putting my fucking shoes on’. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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An alien couple come down to earth and goes to a swingers party.
They swap partners and go to their respective bedrooms. The alien takes off his clothes revealing a one inch cock.
The human woman says, "I'm not impressed with this at all."
The alien then twists his right ear and and his cock grows ten inches.
"Now I am impressed!” says the woman.
The alien then twists his left ear and his cock becomes 2 inches thick and he gives the woman the best time of her life.
Afterwards, she meets up with her husband and asks, "How was it for you, darling?"
"Fucking shit", he replied, "All she did was keep twisting my ears!"  |
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Breaking news
John Travolta was hospitalised for suspected COVID-19 but doctors have now confirmed, it was only Saturday night fever and they assure everyone that he is Staying alive.
Apparently, he had the chills, that were multiplying.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"An alien couple come down to earth and goes to a swingers party.
They swap partners and go to their respective bedrooms. The alien takes off his clothes revealing a one inch cock.
The human woman says, "I'm not impressed with this at all."
The alien then twists his right ear and and his cock grows ten inches.
"Now I am impressed!” says the woman.
The alien then twists his left ear and his cock becomes 2 inches thick and he gives the woman the best time of her life.
Afterwards, she meets up with her husband and asks, "How was it for you, darling?"
"Fucking shit", he replied, "All she did was keep twisting my ears!" "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This morning, I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said "would you please press one?"
So I did.
I don't remember much after that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This morning, I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said "would you please press one?"
So I did.
I don't remember much after that "
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