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“What do you call........” jokes. Got any good ones?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I’ll start

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?

Doug

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

What do you call a man without a spade in his head?

Douglas.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/01/21 00:43:32]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What do you call a man wity a rabbit up his bum? ... Warren

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

This isn't quite the same, but hopefully it's close enough.

What's another name for a water otter?

A kettle.

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

What do you call a water otter?

A kettle

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What do you call a man without a spade in his head?

Douglas. "

Top Trumps!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A man with a car on his head

Jack

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A fly without wings?

A walk

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"This isn't quite the same, but hopefully it's close enough.

What's another name for a water otter?

A kettle. "

I relate to that, being a South Londoner by birth. We never learned about the letter “h”

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race...

Apparently he's been using performance enhancing rugs!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

why do old men take viagra?

To stop them rolling out of bed

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By *litterbabeWoman over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

What do you call a boy who stands up to the bullies?

An ambulance.

What do you call a guy who used to like tractors?

An extractor fan

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves

Russell

Same guy in a pool

Bob

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By *nfinitylandMan over a year ago

Leicester

What do you call a camal with 3 humps?

Humphrey

My apologies

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By *ermite12ukMan over a year ago

Solihull and Brentwood

Q. What goes: Click, click "Is that it?" "Is that it?"

Click, click "Is that it?" "Is that it?" etc.

A. Stevie Wonder, with a Rubiks cube.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

Cliff

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By *hilledGuerillaMan over a year ago

In the monkey house

What do you call a penguin at the North Pole?

Lost.

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By *oxyVikingCouple over a year ago

East Anglia

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs

Still no idea

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By *uriousscouserWoman over a year ago

Wirral

What do you call a man with a plank on his head?

Edward.

What do you call a man with three planks on his head?

Edward Woodward

What do you call a man with FOUR planks on his head?

I don't know, but Edward Woodward would.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bouncer - “I’m going to have to ask you to leave”

Me - “why?”

Bouncer - I don’t know who you are, and this is my trampoline”

(Sorry for the rule breaking)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why does Edward Woodward have 4 A’s in his name?

Because otherwise he’d be Ewar Woowar

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What do you call a German that wears metal hats?

Helmut.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I accidentally played Dad instead of Dead when I encountered a bear ... now it can ride a bike without training wheels

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By *artender_onthelooseMan over a year ago

Dublin

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roamin’ Catholic.

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By *artender_onthelooseMan over a year ago

Dublin

What do you call two guys from Mexico playing basketball?

Juan on Juan.

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By *uriousscouserWoman over a year ago

Wirral

"I accidentally played Dad instead of Dead when I encountered a bear ... now it can ride a bike without training wheels"

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By *yronutMan over a year ago

St Austell

What do you call a Chinese girl with a food mixer on her head??

Blender

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By *icolerobbieCouple over a year ago

walsall

What do you call a man between two houses......

Ali

What do you call a shepherd between two houses.....

Wait for it.....

Ali ba ba

I’ll get my coat

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By *ob Carpe DiemMan over a year ago

Torquay

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves

Russell

Same guy in a pool

Bob"

Same guy in some mud.

A low down dirty bum

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

2 fish in a Tank, one says I Steer. You man the Guns

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By *yronutMan over a year ago

St Austell

Same guy swimming in a swimming pool

Clever Dick!

Overcoat time...... Open the door!,

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By *alpMan over a year ago

Armitage

What do you call a Mexican who can't remember where he's parked?

Carlos

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By *ob Carpe DiemMan over a year ago

Torquay

A woman with one leg longer than the other.

Eileen

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By *ob Carpe DiemMan over a year ago

Torquay

A man burried up to the neck in sand...

Beachy head

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By *ikkicdukTV/TS over a year ago

Liverpool

what's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

Dubai don't like The Flintstones, but Abu Dhabi do

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By *inaTitzTV/TS over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Courtesy of Josh Pugh:

PLEASE BE VIGILANT. Got a text saying I need to put my earnings and expenditure for the year into a website before 31st of Jan. Done it and it’s now saying I owe money to the government. Please don’t get caught out.

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By *ichaelangelaCouple over a year ago

notts

"What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs

Still no idea

no eyes, no legs, having sex

still no fucking idea

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By *rbadguy64Couple over a year ago

bangor

"I’ll start

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?

Doug"

Or an ambulance lol

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