FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Bi but only meet straight.
Bi but only meet straight.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How come men and some men in couples say bisexual or bi-curious in their profile but say they’ll only play with straight men.
If the guys are straight...they wouldn’t play with men?
Or do they mean “fab straight”, though I never really understood what that meant either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've given up worrying my pretty lil head
Concentrating on what works for me and tagging along with others that play the same way is a much more positive experience  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've given up worrying my pretty lil head
Concentrating on what works for me and tagging along with others that play the same way is a much more positive experience "
Yep. When I joined fab again this time that is the idea I had in mind. Especially on fabguys, I don’t suffer fools on there anymore  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've given up worrying my pretty lil head
Concentrating on what works for me and tagging along with others that play the same way is a much more positive experience "
This. People coming to terms with their sexuality is complex. Categories are blurred and sexuality is more fluid as a result. I prefer to concentrate on finding people I really click with regardless of their gender identity and sexuality. If we are both interested in meeting each other the labels truly are irrelevant. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
This. People coming to terms with their sexuality is complex. Categories are blurred and sexuality is more fluid as a result. I prefer to concentrate on finding people I really click with regardless of their gender identity and sexuality. If we are both interested in meeting each other the labels truly are irrelevant."
Totally agree. I think it’s more enjoyable that way rather than seeing who fits together based off of terms and labels, like a meet is a jigsaw or something. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it would be much better if the Sexuality tick box was removed.
'Looking for' gives all the information that people need.  "
Thats true, though I think it just makes things faster as well. If a straight person doesn’t want to meet a bi one, it just means after a while of chatting when they find out they’ll say no etc |
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There is so much pressure these dsys for people to fall in the appropriate boxes. Bull shit...why must we. Some people don't want to, others want to but are worried about what the world will think, others just don't know. What box they tick its up to them and where they are in themselves. |
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"There is so much pressure these dsys for people to fall in the appropriate boxes. Bull shit...why must we. Some people don't want to, others want to but are worried about what the world will think, others just don't know. What box they tick its up to them and where they are in themselves. "
This  that’s why I get annoyed on here when ‘others’ decide someone’s sexuality. You may have had a gay experience enjoyed parts of it, but know that it’s a sex thing not an emotional one. Happy to indulge in all sorts of sexual shenanigans with a couple maybe but not on a one to one basis.
‘If you do this then you are ...’ lot need to worry about their own labels if they want to use them, not impose them on others. |
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"There is so much pressure these dsys for people to fall in the appropriate boxes. Bull shit...why must we. Some people don't want to, others want to but are worried about what the world will think, others just don't know. What box they tick its up to them and where they are in themselves.
This that’s why I get annoyed on here when ‘others’ decide someone’s sexuality. You may have had a gay experience enjoyed parts of it, but know that it’s a sex thing not an emotional one. Happy to indulge in all sorts of sexual shenanigans with a couple maybe but not on a one to one basis.
‘If you do this then you are ...’ lot need to worry about their own labels if they want to use them, not impose them on others. "
Exactly.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it would be much better if the Sexuality tick box was removed.
'Looking for' gives all the information that people need.
Thats true, though I think it just makes things faster as well. If a straight person doesn’t want to meet a bi one, it just means after a while of chatting when they find out they’ll say no etc"
But they can find out anything after chatting that may put them off.
People are people, not tick boxes.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think this went a bit deeper than what I meant
I was more saying if I’m bi but only meet straight guys, it doesn’t make sense.
Yes you can be fluid in your sexuality etc etc but by definition someone isn’t straight or hetro if they’re meeting the same sex for sex.
Just to clarify I don’t care for labels at all. They don’t determine who I meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think this went a bit deeper than what I meant
I was more saying if I’m bi but only meet straight guys, it doesn’t make sense.
Yes you can be fluid in your sexuality etc etc but by definition someone isn’t straight or hetro if they’re meeting the same sex for sex.
Just to clarify I don’t care for labels at all. They don’t determine who I meet "
They're not straight, they are lying to themselves. |
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Sexuality isn't about the world having 3 equal matching gay, bi, straight categories that people understand about themselves as soon as they finish adolescence. Each category is variable. Each person is unique. Each person gets to understand themselves in a different way and timescale. Bisexuality is enormously complex. And the biggest thing is that human personality and psychology is even more complex than that.
Focusing on what you want and keeping it no strings attached, means that you can just think about the simple matches that you can have, whilst staying clear of whatever complexity others find themselves to be in. You don't need to label yourself or demand it from others. And definitely don't need a detailed explanation about their sexual choices. Keep it simple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think, now correct me if I’m wrong, they may mean, now I’m not 100% sure on this, but what they could mean when they say straight is that, now I’m going out on a limb here, I’m sure many would disagree but |
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This is a mine field because there’s a chunk of users that “only meet straight” and another that “only meet bi”... It means you have to make a choice on your profile as to which group you’re going to be ignored by |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a mine field because there’s a chunk of users that “only meet straight” and another that “only meet bi”... It means you have to make a choice on your profile as to which group you’re going to be ignored by"
It's not a minefield
All you can be in this is yourself
Choose what you feel best describes you from the options available
Add more in your bio if you feel it's not getting all of you across
If people don't want to meet you as a result, that's good news, not bad
Meet people that want to meet you
Don't change yourself to try and match someone elses ideal
You can't shape shift to suit
Some try and usually become totally alienated by it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Chuffing hell. I’m not questioning sexuality etc
I’m saying this: Imagine I AM BI and I say I’ll only meet STRAIGHT MEN, doesn’t that contradict itself?
I only meant it as a bit of a humours conundrum. I’m not having a go or complaining about anything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Chuffing hell. I’m not questioning sexuality etc
I’m saying this: Imagine I AM BI and I say I’ll only meet STRAIGHT MEN, doesn’t that contradict itself?
I only meant it as a bit of a humours conundrum. I’m not having a go or complaining about anything. "
Nobody said you were
Threads here usually find their own pace and, quite often, steer away of their original intent (and sometimes content)
That's not a reflection on you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Chuffing hell. I’m not questioning sexuality etc
I’m saying this: Imagine I AM BI and I say I’ll only meet STRAIGHT MEN, doesn’t that contradict itself?
I only meant it as a bit of a humours conundrum. I’m not having a go or complaining about anything.
Nobody said you were
Threads here usually find their own pace and, quite often, steer away of their original intent (and sometimes content)
That's not a reflection on you "
Aye that’s true |
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