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I'm a bit of a clumsy fool....

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

So far today.....

I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor.

Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird).

Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom.

And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from.

My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened.

Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan  over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

That has helped . Thankyou xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So far today.....

I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor.

Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird).

Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom.

And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from.

My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened.

Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours "

Oh Posh. Have a virtual kiss on your arse to make it feel better x

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By *carlet_woman_xxWoman  over a year ago

somewhere

I'm moaning about a hangover. I feel for NSP. My toilet moved quite alot last night

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Thoughts of your arsenal will gladden my day x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm moaning about a hangover. I feel for NSP. My toilet moved quite alot last night "
I now have this picture of a bog flying round the room.

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"That has helped . Thankyou xx"

You're welcome. I do these things to bring others joy!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Thoughts of your arsenal will gladden my day x"

*arse!

Frikkin predictive text

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"So far today.....

I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor.

Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird).

Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom.

And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from.

My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened.

Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours

Oh Posh. Have a virtual kiss on your arse to make it feel better x"

My boobs hurt too

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By *carlet_woman_xxWoman  over a year ago

somewhere


"I'm moaning about a hangover. I feel for NSP. My toilet moved quite alot last night I now have this picture of a bog flying round the room."

Welcome to my world Doc

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I'm moaning about a hangover. I feel for NSP. My toilet moved quite alot last night "

To be fair..... both our issues are self inflicted

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So far today.....

I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor.

Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird).

Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom.

And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from.

My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened.

Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours

Oh Posh. Have a virtual kiss on your arse to make it feel better x

My boobs hurt too "

I’ll send virtual kisses for them too

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Thoughts of your arsenal will gladden my day x

*arse!

Frikkin predictive text"

When you come to stroke my hair you should maybe do my arse too

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"So far today.....

I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor.

Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird).

Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom.

And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from.

My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened.

Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours

Oh Posh. Have a virtual kiss on your arse to make it feel better x

My boobs hurt too

I’ll send virtual kisses for them too "

Thank you Doc

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I feel bad for you.

I feel bad for laughing.

I feel better now.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

. Oh I do love you posh. You’re so like me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Thoughts of your arsenal will gladden my day x

*arse!

Frikkin predictive text

When you come to stroke my hair you should maybe do my arse too "

I could.

I have quite big hands!

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I feel bad for you.

I feel bad for laughing.

I feel better now."

You're welcome too

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Oh I love you

(Sorry for laughing, I hope your arse is okay )

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


". Oh I do love you posh. You’re so like me "

I'm flattered and a little alarmed

Love you too Nora

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Thoughts of your arsenal will gladden my day x

*arse!

Frikkin predictive text

When you come to stroke my hair you should maybe do my arse too

I could.

I have quite big hands! "

Um..... my innuendo was either lost on you or you have plans that I'm now a little scared about....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Haha, awwh, did make me laugh, sorry. But not sorry, I slammed a fire door shut on my own hand at the weekend and then obviously still have to use alcohol gel every 20 mins or so on shift

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Oh I love you

(Sorry for laughing, I hope your arse is okay ) "

You're not sorry. And I don't blame you. I'd laugh too

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Haha, awwh, did make me laugh, sorry. But not sorry, I slammed a fire door shut on my own hand at the weekend and then obviously still have to use alcohol gel every 20 mins or so on shift "

Well I'm not laughing at your story of clumsiness!

(Only because I can't laugh and type at the same time so I waited until I'd finished before replying)

Clumsy fools unite! We should get your sore hand and my sore arse together for therapy

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Thoughts of your arsenal will gladden my day x

*arse!

Frikkin predictive text

When you come to stroke my hair you should maybe do my arse too

I could.

I have quite big hands!

Um..... my innuendo was either lost on you or you have plans that I'm now a little scared about.... "

I meant that big hands would be handy because ... well .... erm... oh nevermind

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x"

Taking notes.

Masterclass in style!

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x"

Awwww Natalie I adore you.

However, what would probably happen is.... I'd trip over about 5 feet away, stumble into you, headbutting your stomach and winding you. You'd then fall over backwards with my dead weight on top of you, crack your head on a table or something and be out cold.

When you woke up in A&E you'd fall in love with the brain doctor and forget all about me

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Thoughts of your arsenal will gladden my day x

*arse!

Frikkin predictive text

When you come to stroke my hair you should maybe do my arse too

I could.

I have quite big hands!

Um..... my innuendo was either lost on you or you have plans that I'm now a little scared about....

I meant that big hands would be handy because ... well .... erm... oh nevermind "

Oh.... you were being innocent and sweet

Sorry.... yes, please, bring your big ones here

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Awww sending a warm welsh cwtch x x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Haha, awwh, did make me laugh, sorry. But not sorry, I slammed a fire door shut on my own hand at the weekend and then obviously still have to use alcohol gel every 20 mins or so on shift

Well I'm not laughing at your story of clumsiness!

(Only because I can't laugh and type at the same time so I waited until I'd finished before replying)

Clumsy fools unite! We should get your sore hand and my sore arse together for therapy "

Yes, purely for therapeutic reasons

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x

Awwww Natalie I adore you.

However, what would probably happen is.... I'd trip over about 5 feet away, stumble into you, headbutting your stomach and winding you. You'd then fall over backwards with my dead weight on top of you, crack your head on a table or something and be out cold.

When you woke up in A&E you'd fall in love with the brain doctor and forget all about me "

Your welcome and if you were stumbling I would catch you and even I I did hit my head how could anyone forget all about you. Your so gorgeous and beautiful elegant and graceful that I would fall for you all over again x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x

Taking notes.

Masterclass in style!"

Lol thanks you x

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Awww sending a warm welsh cwtch x x "

Cwtches make everything better Taff xx

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Haha, awwh, did make me laugh, sorry. But not sorry, I slammed a fire door shut on my own hand at the weekend and then obviously still have to use alcohol gel every 20 mins or so on shift

Well I'm not laughing at your story of clumsiness!

(Only because I can't laugh and type at the same time so I waited until I'd finished before replying)

Clumsy fools unite! We should get your sore hand and my sore arse together for therapy

Yes, purely for therapeutic reasons "

Obvs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x

Awwww Natalie I adore you.

However, what would probably happen is.... I'd trip over about 5 feet away, stumble into you, headbutting your stomach and winding you. You'd then fall over backwards with my dead weight on top of you, crack your head on a table or something and be out cold.

When you woke up in A&E you'd fall in love with the brain doctor and forget all about me

Your welcome and if you were stumbling I would catch you and even I I did hit my head how could anyone forget all about you. Your so gorgeous and beautiful elegant and graceful that I would fall for you all over again x"

Erm... about the graceful bit!

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x

Awwww Natalie I adore you.

However, what would probably happen is.... I'd trip over about 5 feet away, stumble into you, headbutting your stomach and winding you. You'd then fall over backwards with my dead weight on top of you, crack your head on a table or something and be out cold.

When you woke up in A&E you'd fall in love with the brain doctor and forget all about me

Your welcome and if you were stumbling I would catch you and even I I did hit my head how could anyone forget all about you. Your so gorgeous and beautiful elegant and graceful that I would fall for you all over again x"

Marry me?

Although if you think I'm graceful you obviously didn't read the story properly

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Are you still stuck on the floor by the toilet?

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By *iamondCougarWoman  over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

#No one does it like you do!

You daft mare! Hope you’re ok x

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By *ntz64Man  over a year ago

Manchester

You ever thought of a bungalow with an adapted w/c and possibly a carer only having fun...promise x

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Are you still stuck on the floor by the toilet?"

Um. Yes

And this is why you should always take your phone to the bathroom with you.

A) so you can summon help when you're an idiot

B) so you can share your comedy twattishness with fab

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"#No one does it like you do!

You daft mare! Hope you’re ok x "

I should give lessons.....

I'll be fine, thanks DC. Eventually xx

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"You ever thought of a bungalow with an adapted w/c and possibly a carer only having fun...promise x

"

I'm seriously considering it....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So far today.....

I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor.

Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird).

Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom.

And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from.

My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened.

Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours "

I hope your day gets a whole lot better but I am desperately sorry for admitting you made me giggle

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By *ntz64Man  over a year ago

Manchester

"B" is the preferred option.

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By *hrista BellendWoman  over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I snorted my can of pepsi reading that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I feel your pain, sorry you hurt yourself ,

From a fellow clumsy idiot who managed to burn herself in on a bagel straight out of the toaster this morning

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x

Awwww Natalie I adore you.

However, what would probably happen is.... I'd trip over about 5 feet away, stumble into you, headbutting your stomach and winding you. You'd then fall over backwards with my dead weight on top of you, crack your head on a table or something and be out cold.

When you woke up in A&E you'd fall in love with the brain doctor and forget all about me

Your welcome and if you were stumbling I would catch you and even I I did hit my head how could anyone forget all about you. Your so gorgeous and beautiful elegant and graceful that I would fall for you all over again x

Marry me?

Although if you think I'm graceful you obviously didn't read the story properly "

I read the story but in my eyes you are graceful as it’s ur loveble quirkyness that makes you graceful in my eyes

And marry you would be my pleasure as you make me the luckiest person in the world to have married someone as amazing and as glamorous and beautiful as you are

x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So far today.....

I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor.

Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird).

Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom.

And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from.

My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened.

Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours

I hope your day gets a whole lot better but I am desperately sorry for admitting you made me giggle "

It’s the way she tells ‘em

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I rang Mum & Dad at the wrong time earlier

Both are in their early 80's

They were getting dressed and Dad (who has early stage dementia) was, apparently, trying to squeeze himself into Mums slim fit jeans

The conversation stopped and I just heard "You won't get them on, they're only a Size 10"

Sorry, it just tickled me

As you were x

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"So far today.....

I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor.

Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird).

Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom.

And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from.

My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened.

Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours

I hope your day gets a whole lot better but I am desperately sorry for admitting you made me giggle "

Don't be sorry.... tis my raison d'etre. Or at least my raison d'being on the fab forum

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


""B" is the preferred option. "

I shall continue to share

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By *imbobaMan  over a year ago

Glasgow

It’s not you Posh. You’ve clearly been the victim of night gremlins. They shifted your position in bed. Moved your crutch and toilet.

Keep an ear open for childish giggling.

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I snorted my can of pepsi reading that "

You're welcome.... although I hate when it comes out through the nose!

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I feel your pain, sorry you hurt yourself ,

From a fellow clumsy idiot who managed to burn herself in on a bagel straight out of the toaster this morning "

They let you near hot stuff??

This seems like a bad plan

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"It’s not you Posh. You’ve clearly been the victim of night gremlins. They shifted your position in bed. Moved your crutch and toilet.

Keep an ear open for childish giggling. "

I love your faith in me Jim.... but I'm pretty sure I'm clumsy and the childish giggling is coming from the forumites....

Would you tend to my bruises please

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x

Awwww Natalie I adore you.

However, what would probably happen is.... I'd trip over about 5 feet away, stumble into you, headbutting your stomach and winding you. You'd then fall over backwards with my dead weight on top of you, crack your head on a table or something and be out cold.

When you woke up in A&E you'd fall in love with the brain doctor and forget all about me

Your welcome and if you were stumbling I would catch you and even I I did hit my head how could anyone forget all about you. Your so gorgeous and beautiful elegant and graceful that I would fall for you all over again x

Marry me?

Although if you think I'm graceful you obviously didn't read the story properly

I read the story but in my eyes you are graceful as it’s ur loveble quirkyness that makes you graceful in my eyes

And marry you would be my pleasure as you make me the luckiest person in the world to have married someone as amazing and as glamorous and beautiful as you are

x"

I'm not wearing a long dress though. That's dangerous

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So far today.....

I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor.

Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird).

Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom.

And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from.

My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened.

Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours "

You’ve just made me laugh so much, not at your misfortune of course. This thread has totally lifted my spirits on this damp and cold day.

Then I peeped at your profile and it raised something else.

A real beauty and deserving of the marriage proposal in the thread .

Could I maybe squeeze in in the other side of the toilet? That would so make my day,

Kisses xxx

Ashley

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I rang Mum & Dad at the wrong time earlier

Both are in their early 80's

They were getting dressed and Dad (who has early stage dementia) was, apparently, trying to squeeze himself into Mums slim fit jeans

The conversation stopped and I just heard "You won't get them on, they're only a Size 10"

Sorry, it just tickled me

As you were x"

That's made me chuckle.

Thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x

Awwww Natalie I adore you.

However, what would probably happen is.... I'd trip over about 5 feet away, stumble into you, headbutting your stomach and winding you. You'd then fall over backwards with my dead weight on top of you, crack your head on a table or something and be out cold.

When you woke up in A&E you'd fall in love with the brain doctor and forget all about me

Your welcome and if you were stumbling I would catch you and even I I did hit my head how could anyone forget all about you. Your so gorgeous and beautiful elegant and graceful that I would fall for you all over again x

Marry me?

Although if you think I'm graceful you obviously didn't read the story properly

I read the story but in my eyes you are graceful as it’s ur loveble quirkyness that makes you graceful in my eyes

And marry you would be my pleasure as you make me the luckiest person in the world to have married someone as amazing and as glamorous and beautiful as you are

x

I'm not wearing a long dress though. That's dangerous "

That’s ok ware what ever you feel comfortable in as no matter what clothes you have on you still be beautiful x

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"So far today.....

I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor.

Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird).

Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom.

And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from.

My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened.

Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours

You’ve just made me laugh so much, not at your misfortune of course. This thread has totally lifted my spirits on this damp and cold day.

Then I peeped at your profile and it raised something else.

A real beauty and deserving of the marriage proposal in the thread .

Could I maybe squeeze in in the other side of the toilet? That would so make my day,

Kisses xxx

Ashley"

Aww thanks Ashley.... and you're welcome. I love my idiocy bringing joy to others

Couple of points here...

A) if you were here I'd be pissed off if you squeezed in at the other side of the toilet because I kinda need help getting off the floor rather than company.

B) I had to ask Natalie to marry me! She's too shy

C) always a pleasure to be uplifting

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x

Awwww Natalie I adore you.

However, what would probably happen is.... I'd trip over about 5 feet away, stumble into you, headbutting your stomach and winding you. You'd then fall over backwards with my dead weight on top of you, crack your head on a table or something and be out cold.

When you woke up in A&E you'd fall in love with the brain doctor and forget all about me

Your welcome and if you were stumbling I would catch you and even I I did hit my head how could anyone forget all about you. Your so gorgeous and beautiful elegant and graceful that I would fall for you all over again x

Marry me?

Although if you think I'm graceful you obviously didn't read the story properly

I read the story but in my eyes you are graceful as it’s ur loveble quirkyness that makes you graceful in my eyes

And marry you would be my pleasure as you make me the luckiest person in the world to have married someone as amazing and as glamorous and beautiful as you are

x

I'm not wearing a long dress though. That's dangerous

That’s ok ware what ever you feel comfortable in as no matter what clothes you have on you still be beautiful x"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x

Awwww Natalie I adore you.

However, what would probably happen is.... I'd trip over about 5 feet away, stumble into you, headbutting your stomach and winding you. You'd then fall over backwards with my dead weight on top of you, crack your head on a table or something and be out cold.

When you woke up in A&E you'd fall in love with the brain doctor and forget all about me

Your welcome and if you were stumbling I would catch you and even I I did hit my head how could anyone forget all about you. Your so gorgeous and beautiful elegant and graceful that I would fall for you all over again x

Marry me?

Although if you think I'm graceful you obviously didn't read the story properly

I read the story but in my eyes you are graceful as it’s ur loveble quirkyness that makes you graceful in my eyes

And marry you would be my pleasure as you make me the luckiest person in the world to have married someone as amazing and as glamorous and beautiful as you are

x

I'm not wearing a long dress though. That's dangerous

That’s ok ware what ever you feel comfortable in as no matter what clothes you have on you still be beautiful x

"

I am Glad I could make you smile to day x

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Aww well I hope ur clumsy anuff to fall in to my arms so I can look straight in ur pritty little eyes and tell you that your beautiful and such a wonderful person x

Awwww Natalie I adore you.

However, what would probably happen is.... I'd trip over about 5 feet away, stumble into you, headbutting your stomach and winding you. You'd then fall over backwards with my dead weight on top of you, crack your head on a table or something and be out cold.

When you woke up in A&E you'd fall in love with the brain doctor and forget all about me

Your welcome and if you were stumbling I would catch you and even I I did hit my head how could anyone forget all about you. Your so gorgeous and beautiful elegant and graceful that I would fall for you all over again x

Marry me?

Although if you think I'm graceful you obviously didn't read the story properly

I read the story but in my eyes you are graceful as it’s ur loveble quirkyness that makes you graceful in my eyes

And marry you would be my pleasure as you make me the luckiest person in the world to have married someone as amazing and as glamorous and beautiful as you are

x

I'm not wearing a long dress though. That's dangerous

That’s ok ware what ever you feel comfortable in as no matter what clothes you have on you still be beautiful x

I am Glad I could make you smile to day x "

Always do darling

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Are you still stuck on the floor by the toilet?

Um. Yes

And this is why you should always take your phone to the bathroom with you.

A) so you can summon help when you're an idiot

B) so you can share your comedy twattishness with fab"

Are Dyno Rod on the way to assist?

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Are you still stuck on the floor by the toilet?

Um. Yes

And this is why you should always take your phone to the bathroom with you.

A) so you can summon help when you're an idiot

B) so you can share your comedy twattishness with fab

Are Dyno Rod on the way to assist? "

My sister will be along. I think she needs to stop laughing first.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I feel your pain, sorry you hurt yourself ,

From a fellow clumsy idiot who managed to burn herself in on a bagel straight out of the toaster this morning

They let you near hot stuff??

This seems like a bad plan "

I’m unattended, it’s scarey stuff .

Might go and get the cheese grater out. Send help

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By *dinMan  over a year ago

Birmingham

I broke a glass lampshade this morning

look on the bright side - you haven't broken a mirror....

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I feel your pain, sorry you hurt yourself ,

From a fellow clumsy idiot who managed to burn herself in on a bagel straight out of the toaster this morning

They let you near hot stuff??

This seems like a bad plan

I’m unattended, it’s scarey stuff .

Might go and get the cheese grater out. Send help "

Step away from the hot and the sharp.

Far, far away. Have you learnt nothing from my mishaps?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I knew by the title this would be you NSP! Don't worry, I walked into my door last night by trying to open it the wrong way

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By *imbobaMan  over a year ago

Glasgow


"I snorted my can of pepsi reading that

You're welcome.... although I hate when it comes out through the nose!"

Only Posh could make that sound naughty.

Are you really still trapped?

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I broke a glass lampshade this morning

look on the bright side - you haven't broken a mirror...."

Yet. It's always yet with me

I hope you didn't hurt yourself. Or have a particular fondness for the lampshade

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I knew by the title this would be you NSP! Don't worry, I walked into my door last night by trying to open it the wrong way "

I'm infamous.

And now laughing at your dumbassery too

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I snorted my can of pepsi reading that

You're welcome.... although I hate when it comes out through the nose!

Only Posh could make that sound naughty.

Are you really still trapped? "

I am really still trapped. I tried a shuffle forward but it hurt so I stopped. Being pulled out of this one is going to be hard.

And I just realised.... I did the same making it sound naughty thing again

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So far today.....

I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor.

Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird).

Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom.

And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from.

My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened.

Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours

You’ve just made me laugh so much, not at your misfortune of course. This thread has totally lifted my spirits on this damp and cold day.

Then I peeped at your profile and it raised something else.

A real beauty and deserving of the marriage proposal in the thread .

Could I maybe squeeze in in the other side of the toilet? That would so make my day,

Kisses xxx

Ashley

Aww thanks Ashley.... and you're welcome. I love my idiocy bringing joy to others

Couple of points here...

A) if you were here I'd be pissed off if you squeezed in at the other side of the toilet because I kinda need help getting off the floor rather than company.

B) I had to ask Natalie to marry me! She's too shy

C) always a pleasure to be uplifting "

Good point well made. I’m on my way with a shoe horn and some gel! Only joking. I don’t possess a shoe horn.

Hugs xx ??

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"So far today.....

I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor.

Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird).

Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom.

And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from.

My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened.

Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours

You’ve just made me laugh so much, not at your misfortune of course. This thread has totally lifted my spirits on this damp and cold day.

Then I peeped at your profile and it raised something else.

A real beauty and deserving of the marriage proposal in the thread .

Could I maybe squeeze in in the other side of the toilet? That would so make my day,

Kisses xxx

Ashley

Aww thanks Ashley.... and you're welcome. I love my idiocy bringing joy to others

Couple of points here...

A) if you were here I'd be pissed off if you squeezed in at the other side of the toilet because I kinda need help getting off the floor rather than company.

B) I had to ask Natalie to marry me! She's too shy

C) always a pleasure to be uplifting

Good point well made. I’m on my way with a shoe horn and some gel! Only joking. I don’t possess a shoe horn.

Hugs xx ?? "

That's maybe a better plan. Thank you. I can't open the door though.

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

In case anyone other than the sweet person who messaged me to ask is wondering.....

The toilet was not harmed. The toilet seat, however, is a write off. But I wanted to get a new one anyway.

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By *dinMan  over a year ago

Birmingham


"I broke a glass lampshade this morning

look on the bright side - you haven't broken a mirror....

Yet. It's always yet with me

I hope you didn't hurt yourself. Or have a particular fondness for the lampshade "

No I am in one piece am pleased to report. Hope you are ok?

It's trying to find new angles for photos that caused the problem lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So far today.....

I was a bit closer to the edge of the bed than I thought. Turned over to look at the time and landed on my arse on the floor.

Attempting to get off the floor, knocked one of my crutches over and down the stairs (my house is weird).

Made it down the stairs on my very very sore arse and into the bathroom.

And promptly sat down to the left of the toilet. On the floor. Which I now can't get up from.

My arse (as you know) is massive. My toilet hasn't moved in the 11 years and 8 months I've lived here. I don't even know how it happened.

Feel free to use my day to make you feel better about yours

You’ve just made me laugh so much, not at your misfortune of course. This thread has totally lifted my spirits on this damp and cold day.

Then I peeped at your profile and it raised something else.

A real beauty and deserving of the marriage proposal in the thread .

Could I maybe squeeze in in the other side of the toilet? That would so make my day,

Kisses xxx

Ashley

Aww thanks Ashley.... and you're welcome. I love my idiocy bringing joy to others

Couple of points here...

A) if you were here I'd be pissed off if you squeezed in at the other side of the toilet because I kinda need help getting off the floor rather than company.

B) I had to ask Natalie to marry me! She's too shy

C) always a pleasure to be uplifting

Good point well made. I’m on my way with a shoe horn and some gel! Only joking. I don’t possess a shoe horn.

Hugs xx ??

That's maybe a better plan. Thank you. I can't open the door though. "

Hopefully your sister has a key. Otherwise it’ll need to be a forced entry! Not a fan of those.

Got to go to do a shift at our vaccination clinic. Just a steward, nothing medically exciting.

Hope you are ok. I trust you’ll post an outcome.

Love Ashley xx

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I broke a glass lampshade this morning

look on the bright side - you haven't broken a mirror....

Yet. It's always yet with me

I hope you didn't hurt yourself. Or have a particular fondness for the lampshade

No I am in one piece am pleased to report. Hope you are ok?

It's trying to find new angles for photos that caused the problem lol"

I'm glad to hear you're in one piece. I appear to at least have all the important parts attached.

The photo angle issue.... tis dangerous! I applaud your dedication

Remind me to tell you about the time we did the "elegance" challenge and I fell off my heels and down the stairs....

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"

Hopefully your sister has a key. Otherwise it’ll need to be a forced entry! Not a fan of those.

Got to go to do a shift at our vaccination clinic. Just a steward, nothing medically exciting.

Hope you are ok. I trust you’ll post an outcome.

Love Ashley xx "

She has a key. Worryingly this is not our first rodeo

Good luck at the clinic!

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By * Sophie xTV/TS  over a year ago

Derby

What did you want to go and do that for Posh

I do hope you've managed to get yourself up off the floor now and plonked your ass on the sofa instead

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"What did you want to go and do that for Posh

I do hope you've managed to get yourself up off the floor now and plonked your ass on the sofa instead "

I figured would make a fun tale.

Plus, I'm all about helping people and this was one thing I've not tested yet.

Result of test..... tis a bad idea. Don't do it. You're welcome.

And I'm kinda still sat here. My sister shouldn't be long now and I found a delightful unicorn toilet seat on amazon to replace the newly broken one. I'm hoping someone wants to buy it for my birthday

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan  over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"What did you want to go and do that for Posh

I do hope you've managed to get yourself up off the floor now and plonked your ass on the sofa instead

I figured would make a fun tale.

Plus, I'm all about helping people and this was one thing I've not tested yet.

Result of test..... tis a bad idea. Don't do it. You're welcome.

And I'm kinda still sat here. My sister shouldn't be long now and I found a delightful unicorn toilet seat on amazon to replace the newly broken one. I'm hoping someone wants to buy it for my birthday "

You actually want it for your birthday??

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"What did you want to go and do that for Posh

I do hope you've managed to get yourself up off the floor now and plonked your ass on the sofa instead

I figured would make a fun tale.

Plus, I'm all about helping people and this was one thing I've not tested yet.

Result of test..... tis a bad idea. Don't do it. You're welcome.

And I'm kinda still sat here. My sister shouldn't be long now and I found a delightful unicorn toilet seat on amazon to replace the newly broken one. I'm hoping someone wants to buy it for my birthday

You actually want it for your birthday?? "

I kinda want it for tomorrow. Sitting on the loo without a seat will be uncomfortable

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Update. I have been saved from the floor and have now got a 3 year old and a 6 year old guarding me as I recline on the settee.

In case I fall off it apparently

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan  over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"Update. I have been saved from the floor and have now got a 3 year old and a 6 year old guarding me as I recline on the settee.

In case I fall off it apparently "

Awww

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"Update. I have been saved from the floor and have now got a 3 year old and a 6 year old guarding me as I recline on the settee.

In case I fall off it apparently "

I was about to ask, are you off the floor or do we need to send a rescue party?!

Crutches are a bastard. I hate mine. They fall over all the time

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Update. I have been saved from the floor and have now got a 3 year old and a 6 year old guarding me as I recline on the settee.

In case I fall off it apparently

Awww "

Don't awww them. The younger one ran into the bathroom and just said "Auntie Posh, that's not where you are meant to have a wee wee".

Cheeky bugger

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Update. I have been saved from the floor and have now got a 3 year old and a 6 year old guarding me as I recline on the settee.

In case I fall off it apparently

I was about to ask, are you off the floor or do we need to send a rescue party?!

Crutches are a bastard. I hate mine. They fall over all the time "

They're so annoying! Useful though, obviously.

I have been rescued indeed. But thanks for the offer! Next time, send some burly men in uniforms would you?

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan  over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"Update. I have been saved from the floor and have now got a 3 year old and a 6 year old guarding me as I recline on the settee.

In case I fall off it apparently

Awww

Don't awww them. The younger one ran into the bathroom and just said "Auntie Posh, that's not where you are meant to have a wee wee".

Cheeky bugger "

kids

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Hopefully your sister has a key. Otherwise it’ll need to be a forced entry! Not a fan of those.

Got to go to do a shift at our vaccination clinic. Just a steward, nothing medically exciting.

Hope you are ok. I trust you’ll post an outcome.

Love Ashley xx

She has a key. Worryingly this is not our first rodeo

Good luck at the clinic!"

Glad you find your way out of your predicament and hope you’re recovered now?

Thank your for your amazingly uplifting thoughts, at a time you were the one who needed uplifting. You have an amazing personality and it would be a privilege to count you as a friend.

PM me anytime. It will always be a pleasure to chat. I can’t pm you as I’m out of your age range sadly.

More importantly, do take care. Hugs xxx

Ashley

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"Update. I have been saved from the floor and have now got a 3 year old and a 6 year old guarding me as I recline on the settee.

In case I fall off it apparently

I was about to ask, are you off the floor or do we need to send a rescue party?!

Crutches are a bastard. I hate mine. They fall over all the time

They're so annoying! Useful though, obviously.

I have been rescued indeed. But thanks for the offer! Next time, send some burly men in uniforms would you?"

Sorry only just seen this after a manic day! Yes, crutches are useful. But also fecking annoying. I have a mainly hate-hate relationship with mine

Hmmmm, Mr KC is a slimline version but very strong - I'll DPD him over next time

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