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The joys of being female
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Based on my own musings on another thread. Why is it that women have so many discrpitives about them? And why is there so much x is better than z. Disclaimer using words and phrases encountered here not my own personal views. There's the seemingly endless posts on fake Vs real boobs, the real women have curves, big labia being described as kebabs, saggy tits, vaginas like a wizards sleeve, the squiring is just urine or that women who don't are made to feel inferior and unfortunately I can go on and on. Surely these words negatively impact on how some women feel about their naked bodies and how confident they having sex? And surely everyone just wants to have great sex without any hang ups?
On a different thread someone said "just enjoy sex for what it is .. a fantastic union between consenting adults" and that's exactly what it should be.
There are of course preferences but surely those can be explained without such negative language? Is it time we all stopped trying to pull each other down and embrace and celebrate that we're all different? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are all guilty of comparing ourselves and finding faults without other people doing it too. We can't be everyone's cup of tea and that's okay but I will never understand some peoples need to drag others down to make theirselves feel better.
It's time we, all women and men, start embracing who we are and realising we are good enough just as we are  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Based on my own musings on another thread. Why is it that women have so many discrpitives about them? And why is there so much x is better than z. Disclaimer using words and phrases encountered here not my own personal views. There's the seemingly endless posts on fake Vs real boobs, the real women have curves, big labia being described as kebabs, saggy tits, vaginas like a wizards sleeve, the squiring is just urine or that women who don't are made to feel inferior and unfortunately I can go on and on. Surely these words negatively impact on how some women feel about their naked bodies and how confident they having sex? And surely everyone just wants to have great sex without any hang ups?
On a different thread someone said "just enjoy sex for what it is .. a fantastic union between consenting adults" and that's exactly what it should be.
There are of course preferences but surely those can be explained without such negative language? Is it time we all stopped trying to pull each other down and embrace and celebrate that we're all different? "
Well said lovely. Completely agree with you. Too many people in the world trying to tear each other down, we need to be celebrating our uniqueness...After all there is nobody in the world like any of us, one of a kind  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unrealistic expectations of how a woman should look is getting worse every year.
I'm so glad I got through my youth without this pressure to look like a blow up doll and living for likes on social media 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think a sizeable proportion of the population, about 20% according to motivational values studies, hold competitiveness as a value. While as much as 80% of the population have a tendency to dichotomise reality into either this or that, according in to developmental stage studies. So given those values, and that this is more the case with men than women, then it is perhaps unsurprising that such questions get asked regularly on here. |
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"Unrealistic expectations of how a woman should look is getting worse every year.
I'm so glad I got through my youth without this pressure to look like a blow up doll and living for likes on social media
"
But I'd say the average user on here was older, yet I see this kind of language used daily, so it's it really just a younger person problem? |
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"Being able to easily judge women is one of the ways it’s easy to keep them down. It’s part of everyday language and lifestyle  "
But I've seen women use this kind of language on here also. Is it ingrained misogyny in both genders? |
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"I think a sizeable proportion of the population, about 20% according to motivational values studies, hold competitiveness as a value. While as much as 80% of the population have a tendency to dichotomise reality into either this or that, according in to developmental stage studies. So given those values, and that this is more the case with men than women, then it is perhaps unsurprising that such questions get asked regularly on here."
Hmm interesting Doc,not thought of it like that. I don't know enough about it and need to go do some research |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being able to easily judge women is one of the ways it’s easy to keep them down. It’s part of everyday language and lifestyle
But I've seen women use this kind of language on here also. Is it ingrained misogyny in both genders? "
In those figures I quoted above the 80% of the population also is unlikely to have examined their values and beliefs in any depth and questioned their ingrained assumptions that have been part of their conditioning. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a sizeable proportion of the population, about 20% according to motivational values studies, hold competitiveness as a value. While as much as 80% of the population have a tendency to dichotomise reality into either this or that, according in to developmental stage studies. So given those values, and that this is more the case with men than women, then it is perhaps unsurprising that such questions get asked regularly on here.
Hmm interesting Doc,not thought of it like that. I don't know enough about it and need to go do some research "
Suzanne Cooke-Greuter’s work on developmental theory and Don Back and Claire Graves’s work on Spiral Dynamics, plus the work of Elias Porter on motivational values informed my answer to your question. |
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"Being able to easily judge women is one of the ways it’s easy to keep them down. It’s part of everyday language and lifestyle
But I've seen women use this kind of language on here also. Is it ingrained misogyny in both genders? "
It’s just familiar and we often resort to the familiar even if it’s wrong.
The one that women here are probably most familiar with is judged for being too many sexual partners as well as not enough - too slutty and too prudish.
There are others too; at work you can be too bossy or too shy, or you can be both depending on the situation or what the other person wants to depict you as.
It’s good to be aware and call others on their attitudes but often it’s done subtly and in passing. When taken in isolation it’s nothing, but in context it can be powerful.
It’s utterly shit. There are so many women who would do a good job in boardrooms around the world and yet very few make it to the top. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unrealistic expectations of how a woman should look is getting worse every year.
I'm so glad I got through my youth without this pressure to look like a blow up doll and living for likes on social media
But I'd say the average user on here was older, yet I see this kind of language used daily, so it's it really just a younger person problem? "
True
I don't think it's just a young people problem - I just give less fucks now about what people think.
The kind of people that sit behind a keyboard tearing people down to feel better about themselves are very sad individuals.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a sizeable proportion of the population, about 20% according to motivational values studies, hold competitiveness as a value. While as much as 80% of the population have a tendency to dichotomise reality into either this or that, according in to developmental stage studies. So given those values, and that this is more the case with men than women, then it is perhaps unsurprising that such questions get asked regularly on here.
Hmm interesting Doc,not thought of it like that. I don't know enough about it and need to go do some research
Suzanne Cooke-Greuter’s work on developmental theory and Don Back and Claire Graves’s work on Spiral Dynamics, plus the work of Elias Porter on motivational values informed my answer to your question."
am also informed by Hilary Bradbury and Bill Torbert’s work on Eros and Power.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think we are easy target. Especially on a site like this, where rejection will fuel us negatively, where we deal with comparing ourselves and perhaps that twisted search of faults in others, it will expose many vulnerabilities. And what's the best form of defense? Attack. If I'm on the receiving end, I just try to remember that I am not the reason, just a target. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we are easy target. Especially on a site like this, where rejection will fuel us negatively, where we deal with comparing ourselves and perhaps that twisted search of faults in others, it will expose many vulnerabilities. And what's the best form of defense? Attack. If I'm on the receiving end, I just try to remember that I am not the reason, just a target. "
I think this may well be the case, and I am interested in why that is the case and what can be done about it. |
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I tend not to compare myself negatively to other women in as physical sense. I never have which a lot of people find strange. Obviously I can acknowledge that I'm different in a lot of ways to other women and the same in some but it doesn't have a negative impact on me. I get this mindset from my father and am eternally grateful for it.
I see the comparisons that occur daily, the negging practiced ever so subtly, the putting down of one to flatter the other, the implication that youth is more valuable than age, certain physical attributes to be admired more, even that some physicalities make you a better person. I also observe that people actually encourage it by asking to have their bodies scrutinised and rated in a roundabout way.
We're a funny old species. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unrealistic expectations of how a woman should look is getting worse every year.
I'm so glad I got through my youth without this pressure to look like a blow up doll and living for likes on social media
But I'd say the average user on here was older, yet I see this kind of language used daily, so it's it really just a younger person problem? "
I would say the old stereotypes are ingrained even if not correct that along with the social media world we live in nowadays with the "perfect" image all add to the idea a woman should look and behave a certain way.
Woman are judged regardless of how they choose to do things -
Have children /don't have children
Stay at home parent / go back to work
Stay single and a sex life of your choosing /have a "traditional" relationship etc
I could go on, there are so many examples and majority of women have faced these at some point in their lives.
I don't know what the answer is in regards to how to change it but I agree we should build eachother up not tear eachother down unfortunately some people just can't help themselves.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we are easy target. Especially on a site like this, where rejection will fuel us negatively, where we deal with comparing ourselves and perhaps that twisted search of faults in others, it will expose many vulnerabilities. And what's the best form of defense? Attack. If I'm on the receiving end, I just try to remember that I am not the reason, just a target.
I think this may well be the case, and I am interested in why that is the case and what can be done about it."
Probably not an exclusive reason. Just one of many.
But going back to original post. We put a lot of power into words. We let them affect us, we interpret them and give them meanings. But we can protect ourselves from them too. Like standing up for the use of right language to people who think "you can't say anything these days" and tell us we just don't have a sense of humour. I'm sure there is more that can be done. |
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"Unrealistic expectations of how a woman should look is getting worse every year.
I'm so glad I got through my youth without this pressure to look like a blow up doll and living for likes on social media
But I'd say the average user on here was older, yet I see this kind of language used daily, so it's it really just a younger person problem? "
Nope, I know women in their 70s crippled by insecurity about how they look. It's not as prevalent among older women though, we did have the advantage of growing up without Kim Kardashian  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unrealistic expectations of how a woman should look is getting worse every year.
I'm so glad I got through my youth without this pressure to look like a blow up doll and living for likes on social media
But I'd say the average user on here was older, yet I see this kind of language used daily, so it's it really just a younger person problem?
I would say the old stereotypes are ingrained even if not correct that along with the social media world we live in nowadays with the "perfect" image all add to the idea a woman should look and behave a certain way.
Woman are judged regardless of how they choose to do things -
Have children /don't have children
Stay at home parent / go back to work
Stay single and a sex life of your choosing /have a "traditional" relationship etc
I could go on, there are so many examples and majority of women have faced these at some point in their lives.
I don't know what the answer is in regards to how to change it but I agree we should build eachother up not tear eachother down unfortunately some people just can't help themselves.
"
I don't think it will change Sparkle
People will always judge and criticise.
Now we have the internet to do it so it's bred a whole army of keyboard warriors that would never say such nasty things to someone in person.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unrealistic expectations of how a woman should look is getting worse every year.
I'm so glad I got through my youth without this pressure to look like a blow up doll and living for likes on social media
But I'd say the average user on here was older, yet I see this kind of language used daily, so it's it really just a younger person problem?
I would say the old stereotypes are ingrained even if not correct that along with the social media world we live in nowadays with the "perfect" image all add to the idea a woman should look and behave a certain way.
Woman are judged regardless of how they choose to do things -
Have children /don't have children
Stay at home parent / go back to work
Stay single and a sex life of your choosing /have a "traditional" relationship etc
I could go on, there are so many examples and majority of women have faced these at some point in their lives.
I don't know what the answer is in regards to how to change it but I agree we should build eachother up not tear eachother down unfortunately some people just can't help themselves.
I don't think it will change Sparkle
People will always judge and criticise.
Now we have the internet to do it so it's bred a whole army of keyboard warriors that would never say such nasty things to someone in person.
"
True, it's heartbreaking really. Makes me want to wrap my daughter in bubble wrap and protect her from all of this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unrealistic expectations of how a woman should look is getting worse every year.
I'm so glad I got through my youth without this pressure to look like a blow up doll and living for likes on social media
But I'd say the average user on here was older, yet I see this kind of language used daily, so it's it really just a younger person problem?
I would say the old stereotypes are ingrained even if not correct that along with the social media world we live in nowadays with the "perfect" image all add to the idea a woman should look and behave a certain way.
Woman are judged regardless of how they choose to do things -
Have children /don't have children
Stay at home parent / go back to work
Stay single and a sex life of your choosing /have a "traditional" relationship etc
I could go on, there are so many examples and majority of women have faced these at some point in their lives.
I don't know what the answer is in regards to how to change it but I agree we should build eachother up not tear eachother down unfortunately some people just can't help themselves.
"
I agree again. A change in the way we educate everyone is in my mind the way do it. We have not built developmental stage thinking into our educational system and processes. We don’t have collaborative inquiry as method of exploring values and assumptions as part of our mainstream educational methodologies, and as such, we don’t develop the critical thinking skills required to help everyone to evolve further along the evolutionary spectrum and move beyond current traditional, ethnocentric and egotistical mindsets or worldviews . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we are easy target. Especially on a site like this, where rejection will fuel us negatively, where we deal with comparing ourselves and perhaps that twisted search of faults in others, it will expose many vulnerabilities. And what's the best form of defense? Attack. If I'm on the receiving end, I just try to remember that I am not the reason, just a target. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Men get slagged off too. They can't keep an erection. Their cock is too small/ too ugly/ too big. They don't know what a clit is. They don't know how to use a washing machine/ dishwasher/ shower. They are uncaring dicks/ they are sissies because they cry. They are too hairy/ too bald. Too short. Too fat/ too skinny. Too young/ too old. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men get slagged off too. They can't keep an erection. Their cock is too small/ too ugly/ too big. They don't know what a clit is. They don't know how to use a washing machine/ dishwasher/ shower. They are uncaring dicks/ they are sissies because they cry. They are too hairy/ too bald. Too short. Too fat/ too skinny. Too young/ too old. "
This is true too. Casual misogyny and misandry are prevalent because our self loathing shadows get turned outwards and projected onto others. Others are an easy target when we fail to see the enemy within. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men get slagged off too. They can't keep an erection. Their cock is too small/ too ugly/ too big. They don't know what a clit is. They don't know how to use a washing machine/ dishwasher/ shower. They are uncaring dicks/ they are sissies because they cry. They are too hairy/ too bald. Too short. Too fat/ too skinny. Too young/ too old. "
Absolutely, and I cringe at the male bashing and double standards that take place on here.
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Women have always been objectified far more than men. Women's bodies are subjected to scrutiny in a way men aren't. Finding fault in a woman's body comes naturally to many men because they think of women as being there for their sexual gratification, therefore things they see as imperfections get named and shamed.
It should be remembered that the criticisms come from the vocal ones. They don't necessarily represent society as a whole. It is becoming less acceptable to criticise women's bodies fortunately, but there is a long way to go. |
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"Women have always been objectified far more than men. Women's bodies are subjected to scrutiny in a way men aren't. Finding fault in a woman's body comes naturally to many men because they think of women as being there for their sexual gratification, therefore things they see as imperfections get named and shamed.
It should be remembered that the criticisms come from the vocal ones. They don't necessarily represent society as a whole. It is becoming less acceptable to criticise women's bodies fortunately, but there is a long way to go. "
I absolutely agree with this comment. You will find the men that contradict our bodies aren’t that great to look at themselves. They will have been born and bred from fathers and uncles who passed this attitude to them. It’s not good.
Ladies you are all beautiful and do not let these derogatory terms get to you. You were born with what you were given, use it to your advantage.
Virtual hug to all ladies who need one.
xxx |
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"Being able to easily judge women is one of the ways it’s easy to keep them down. It’s part of everyday language and lifestyle "
Yep, for example why do you think "cunt" is still an acceptable form of abuse, and used by both sexes.
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"Finding fault in a woman's body comes naturally to many men because they think of women as being there for their sexual gratification, therefore things they see as imperfections get named and shamed. "
The whole post is spot on but I’ve just snipped this part to highlight.
It’s not so much that it happens, it’s the fact that men feel entitled to do it. That’s the root of the problem |
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"Women have always been objectified far more than men. Women's bodies are subjected to scrutiny in a way men aren't. Finding fault in a woman's body comes naturally to many men because they think of women as being there for their sexual gratification, therefore things they see as imperfections get named and shamed.
It should be remembered that the criticisms come from the vocal ones. They don't necessarily represent society as a whole. It is becoming less acceptable to criticise women's bodies fortunately, but there is a long way to go. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Based on my own musings on another thread. Why is it that women have so many discrpitives about them? And why is there so much x is better than z. Disclaimer using words and phrases encountered here not my own personal views. There's the seemingly endless posts on fake Vs real boobs, the real women have curves, big labia being described as kebabs, saggy tits, vaginas like a wizards sleeve, the squiring is just urine or that women who don't are made to feel inferior and unfortunately I can go on and on. Surely these words negatively impact on how some women feel about their naked bodies and how confident they having sex? And surely everyone just wants to have great sex without any hang ups?
On a different thread someone said "just enjoy sex for what it is .. a fantastic union between consenting adults" and that's exactly what it should be.
There are of course preferences but surely those can be explained without such negative language? Is it time we all stopped trying to pull each other down and embrace and celebrate that we're all different? "
Couldn't agree Moore OP, and as many have said, women have been objectified for centuries, in different ways over time, using these terms as normal, and passing it on as banter.
I didn't see the other thread yet, but definitely so true  |
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"I think a sizeable proportion of the population, about 20% according to motivational values studies, hold competitiveness as a value. While as much as 80% of the population have a tendency to dichotomise reality into either this or that, according in to developmental stage studies. So given those values, and that this is more the case with men than women, then it is perhaps unsurprising that such questions get asked regularly on here.
Hmm interesting Doc,not thought of it like that. I don't know enough about it and need to go do some research
Suzanne Cooke-Greuter’s work on developmental theory and Don Back and Claire Graves’s work on Spiral Dynamics, plus the work of Elias Porter on motivational values informed my answer to your question."
Thanks Doc as per informative |
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"Men get slagged off too. They can't keep an erection. Their cock is too small/ too ugly/ too big. They don't know what a clit is. They don't know how to use a washing machine/ dishwasher/ shower. They are uncaring dicks/ they are sissies because they cry. They are too hairy/ too bald. Too short. Too fat/ too skinny. Too young/ too old. "
They do and that's bang out of order and the sentiments in my OP are valid to men too. It's just I tend to notice it from a female perspective |
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"Women have always been objectified far more than men. Women's bodies are subjected to scrutiny in a way men aren't. Finding fault in a woman's body comes naturally to many men because they think of women as being there for their sexual gratification, therefore things they see as imperfections get named and shamed.
It should be remembered that the criticisms come from the vocal ones. They don't necessarily represent society as a whole. It is becoming less acceptable to criticise women's bodies fortunately, but there is a long way to go. "
Whilst I agree with you, I find on here that women are also quick to criticize each other. Which is something I don't understand |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"There are of course preferences but surely those can be explained without such negative language? Is it time we all stopped trying to pull each other down and embrace and celebrate that we're all different? "
It isn't time. It is way, way past time.
And we need to stop doing it in front of our children (or other people's children in my case), as that's the first step into the negativity that they experience.
You know my feelings on this pretty darn well Frida, how much it boils my piss, and I can't really formulate them right now but wanted to show support for the discussion in the hope that maybe it would help  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men get slagged off too. They can't keep an erection. Their cock is too small/ too ugly/ too big. They don't know what a clit is. They don't know how to use a washing machine/ dishwasher/ shower. They are uncaring dicks/ they are sissies because they cry. They are too hairy/ too bald. Too short. Too fat/ too skinny. Too young/ too old.
They do and that's bang out of order and the sentiments in my OP are valid to men too. It's just I tend to notice it from a female perspective "
I understand. 
I agree with this from your OP- "Is it time we all stopped trying to pull each other down and embrace and celebrate that we're all different?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men get slagged off too. They can't keep an erection. Their cock is too small/ too ugly/ too big. They don't know what a clit is. They don't know how to use a washing machine/ dishwasher/ shower. They are uncaring dicks/ they are sissies because they cry. They are too hairy/ too bald. Too short. Too fat/ too skinny. Too young/ too old.
They do and that's bang out of order and the sentiments in my OP are valid to men too. It's just I tend to notice it from a female perspective
I understand.
I agree with this from your OP- "Is it time we all stopped trying to pull each other down and embrace and celebrate that we're all different?"
"
...I didn't mean I disagree with the rest of your OP though!  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Women have always been objectified far more than men. Women's bodies are subjected to scrutiny in a way men aren't. Finding fault in a woman's body comes naturally to many men because they think of women as being there for their sexual gratification, therefore things they see as imperfections get named and shamed.
It should be remembered that the criticisms come from the vocal ones. They don't necessarily represent society as a whole. It is becoming less acceptable to criticise women's bodies fortunately, but there is a long way to go.
Whilst I agree with you, I find on here that women are also quick to criticize each other. Which is something I don't understand "
We (as in the women) are taught with social conditioning that we need to be the best from an early age - that our value as a woman lies in our sexual worth, our ability to find a partner and the best partner imaginable.
On somewhere like here, where sex isn't quite as easily separated from feelings as would be liked, the other woman becomes the competitor. It's easy to put her down rather than self evaluate where your feelings stem from. Is it because you don't want to share? Feel threatened by her? Worried you're not going to measure up? Nope, that's a bit too navel gazing so it's far easier to lash out and try and calm that uncomfortable feeling you have by belittling her, having a little gossip with your friends, snide digs... the list is endless.
I don't understand it to be honest. Yes, there are people who have personalities that aren't compatible with mine and we're never going to get on but the amount of bitching and horrible things women say about others and what's the cause more often than not? A man. A frickin' man. Remove the man from the equation and more often than not the women would be perfectly pleasant to each other. Add a cock and the women turn savage, ready to trample on each other to get a minute of half arsed joy*.
*some of this may be exaggerated. |
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My favourite saying is "those who mind don't matter, those who matter don't mind"
If someone is going to be a judgemental areshole, then they're not worth your time.
Don't change for anyone.
From the squirting, hairy fannied, slightly saggy titted woman |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try to avoid comparing myself to others...for the most part, I manage that successfully.
I've learnt that it's incredibly draining, damaging and quite pointless |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women have always been objectified far more than men. Women's bodies are subjected to scrutiny in a way men aren't. Finding fault in a woman's body comes naturally to many men because they think of women as being there for their sexual gratification, therefore things they see as imperfections get named and shamed.
It should be remembered that the criticisms come from the vocal ones. They don't necessarily represent society as a whole. It is becoming less acceptable to criticise women's bodies fortunately, but there is a long way to go.
Whilst I agree with you, I find on here that women are also quick to criticize each other. Which is something I don't understand
We (as in the women) are taught with social conditioning that we need to be the best from an early age - that our value as a woman lies in our sexual worth, our ability to find a partner and the best partner imaginable.
On somewhere like here, where sex isn't quite as easily separated from feelings as would be liked, the other woman becomes the competitor. It's easy to put her down rather than self evaluate where your feelings stem from. Is it because you don't want to share? Feel threatened by her? Worried you're not going to measure up? Nope, that's a bit too navel gazing so it's far easier to lash out and try and calm that uncomfortable feeling you have by belittling her, having a little gossip with your friends, snide digs... the list is endless.
I don't understand it to be honest. Yes, there are people who have personalities that aren't compatible with mine and we're never going to get on but the amount of bitching and horrible things women say about others and what's the cause more often than not? A man. A frickin' man. Remove the man from the equation and more often than not the women would be perfectly pleasant to each other. Add a cock and the women turn savage, ready to trample on each other to get a minute of half arsed joy*.
*some of this may be exaggerated. "
Perfectly summed up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My favourite saying is "those who mind don't matter, those who matter don't mind"
If someone is going to be a judgemental areshole, then they're not worth your time.
Don't change for anyone.
From the squirting, hairy fannied, slightly saggy titted woman "
Love this also from a fellow squirty, hairy fannied , slighty saggy titted woman with added and extra wobbly bits. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My favourite saying is "those who mind don't matter, those who matter don't mind"
If someone is going to be a judgemental areshole, then they're not worth your time.
Don't change for anyone.
From the squirting, hairy fannied, slightly saggy titted woman "
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To me everyone is different and unique, that's whats make us interesting. We are all attracted to different things and some stick to that and confess that's how everyone should be. You often hear, and this relates to both sexes, I prefer a slim body or I like them with a bit of meat, some old, some young but you don't know until you have tried. True there needs to be some attraction but the cover never tells the whole story, the real story (personality) lies between the Covers. A individuals body is there to be explored and enjoyed. Whether anything is real, enhanced, big, small, firm or soft, there is pleasure to have in all and as we get older our bodies tell of our life stories, but instead of putting others down go out there and discover, you may surprise yourself, obviously when it's safe to so x |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"My favourite saying is "those who mind don't matter, those who matter don't mind"
If someone is going to be a judgemental areshole, then they're not worth your time.
Don't change for anyone.
From the squirting, hairy fannied, slightly saggy titted woman
Love this also from a fellow squirty, hairy fannied , slighty saggy titted woman with added and extra wobbly bits. "
You're brilliant as you are Sparkles, wobbly bits and all. I think I've just reached a point (possibly maturity ) where I'm tired of tearing other women down. In the past, yeah sure I was vocal because I was unhappy or compared myself far too often. The happier I am within myself, the less desire I have to be a dick about other women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My favourite saying is "those who mind don't matter, those who matter don't mind"
If someone is going to be a judgemental areshole, then they're not worth your time.
Don't change for anyone.
From the squirting, hairy fannied, slightly saggy titted woman
Love this also from a fellow squirty, hairy fannied , slighty saggy titted woman with added and extra wobbly bits.
You're brilliant as you are Sparkles, wobbly bits and all. I think I've just reached a point (possibly maturity ) where I'm tired of tearing other women down. In the past, yeah sure I was vocal because I was unhappy or compared myself far too often. The happier I am within myself, the less desire I have to be a dick about other women. "
I adore you never change Meli xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Based on my own musings on another thread. Why is it that women have so many discrpitives about them? And why is there so much x is better than z. Disclaimer using words and phrases encountered here not my own personal views. There's the seemingly endless posts on fake Vs real boobs, the real women have curves, big labia being described as kebabs, saggy tits, vaginas like a wizards sleeve, the squiring is just urine or that women who don't are made to feel inferior and unfortunately I can go on and on. Surely these words negatively impact on how some women feel about their naked bodies and how confident they having sex? And surely everyone just wants to have great sex without any hang ups?
On a different thread someone said "just enjoy sex for what it is .. a fantastic union between consenting adults" and that's exactly what it should be.
There are of course preferences but surely those can be explained without such negative language? Is it time we all stopped trying to pull each other down and embrace and celebrate that we're all different? "
Well said!
I did actually bite at one thread as I was left feeling a fake part of me was a negative. I get people have preferences but if you voice it those that don't have your preference are might take it negatively.
I don't think I'm negative towards other women though. I may have boob envy at times but that's just down to my own insecurities about not naturally having what most guys would like.
I agree there's far too much focus on how someone should look or be rather than embracing who and how they are. Personally I love the women on here and the guys that no matter what shape or size etc will show themselves and have the confidence to.
Like another posted on this thread it applies to the guys too. And if anything it's harder for the guys. Us women have things in our favour on here and many ways to show ourselves as being appealing. |
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Interesting thoughts on here especially the sexual value of a woman. And how we should be mindful in front of children. But where do children's ideas come from? How come there in today's day and age so much focus of girls toys is based on looks?
I additionally think men do get a rough deal, but it's not something I'm as versed in. I understand the belittling of their masculinity to pull them down, but maybe not so much on their appearance |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Based on my own musings on another thread. Why is it that women have so many discrpitives about them? And why is there so much x is better than z. Disclaimer using words and phrases encountered here not my own personal views. There's the seemingly endless posts on fake Vs real boobs, the real women have curves, big labia being described as kebabs, saggy tits, vaginas like a wizards sleeve, the squiring is just urine or that women who don't are made to feel inferior and unfortunately I can go on and on. Surely these words negatively impact on how some women feel about their naked bodies and how confident they having sex? And surely everyone just wants to have great sex without any hang ups?
On a different thread someone said "just enjoy sex for what it is .. a fantastic union between consenting adults" and that's exactly what it should be.
There are of course preferences but surely those can be explained without such negative language? Is it time we all stopped trying to pull each other down and embrace and celebrate that we're all different? "
This is so well put, I believe only too many of us women are our own worse critics without any input from anyone else. Being of the more mature end of the age spectrum, I have survived with no cosmetic surgery, I lack boobs, have excess arse, belly and thighs but im me, what you see is what you get and i can assure you i enjoy sex.I feel so sorry for the younger girls there is much pressure on them to be this or that and truth is many are natural beautys without having to do all this to themselves |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Based on my own musings on another thread. Why is it that women have so many discrpitives about them? And why is there so much x is better than z. Disclaimer using words and phrases encountered here not my own personal views. There's the seemingly endless posts on fake Vs real boobs, the real women have curves, big labia being described as kebabs, saggy tits, vaginas like a wizards sleeve, the squiring is just urine or that women who don't are made to feel inferior and unfortunately I can go on and on. Surely these words negatively impact on how some women feel about their naked bodies and how confident they having sex? And surely everyone just wants to have great sex without any hang ups?
On a different thread someone said "just enjoy sex for what it is .. a fantastic union between consenting adults" and that's exactly what it should be.
There are of course preferences but surely those can be explained without such negative language? Is it time we all stopped trying to pull each other down and embrace and celebrate that we're all different?
Well said!
I did actually bite at one thread as I was left feeling a fake part of me was a negative. I get people have preferences but if you voice it those that don't have your preference are might take it negatively.
I don't think I'm negative towards other women though. I may have boob envy at times but that's just down to my own insecurities about not naturally having what most guys would like.
I agree there's far too much focus on how someone should look or be rather than embracing who and how they are. Personally I love the women on here and the guys that no matter what shape or size etc will show themselves and have the confidence to.
Like another posted on this thread it applies to the guys too. And if anything it's harder for the guys. Us women have things in our favour on here and many ways to show ourselves as being appealing. "
I agree with lots of this and feel it’s very important to keep in mind the last paragraph in particular.
In relation to you saying what most men want though, I think that may also be related to your own body image. Myself in particular never really cared much about boobs, but that’s just a preference of mine and doesn’t matter one iota to you. Personally I think you look incredible.
I’ve had lots of insecurities from a young age about my own body. And it can get really amplified on here as a man because there are tonnes of really incredibly fit, toned, muscled men with big cocks and strong erections on display who look really virile and reading women’s verifications of them can be intimidating.
So it’s back to as you say about each of us becoming more content with ourselves and not to compare with others.
A nice way to think about it is are we as individuals improving or learning or becoming more content and decent people than we were yesterday? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting thoughts on here especially the sexual value of a woman. And how we should be mindful in front of children. But where do children's ideas come from? How come there in today's day and age so much focus of girls toys is based on looks?
I additionally think men do get a rough deal, but it's not something I'm as versed in. I understand the belittling of their masculinity to pull them down, but maybe not so much on their appearance "
It would be interesting if we didn't tell others to do as we say but do as we do.. maybe that's another root of the problem.. playing to audience but not meaning things. Overthinking, but "under doing".
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great musings OP but we live in a competitive world and it’s only getting worse. Social media- so very useful but damn, so damaging too. It’s not going to change until we’re all taught from birth on by family, schools, religious groups, the mass media that we are all truly equal. That’s going to take a while .
Until then, I recommend calling people out on what they say and getting them to stop and actually think |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Great musings OP but we live in a competitive world and it’s only getting worse. Social media- so very useful but damn, so damaging too. It’s not going to change until we’re all taught from birth on by family, schools, religious groups, the mass media that we are all truly equal. That’s going to take a while .
Until then, I recommend calling people out on what they say and getting them to stop and actually think "
Good idea. If you catch me using slurs linked to weight, aesthetics, please call me on it - that crap needs to stop. We can all do better on it I think. |
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Gosh this thread has been food for thought and sorry I haven't replied to everyone.
Do we as individuals need to give less of a shit what people may or not say about us? Probably yes most definitely. But people's comments do hurt, even if they weren't supposed to.
Should we try and stop saying oh you're beautiful and use other things like you're so funny, thoughtful, intelligent? Is telling someone they are beautiful just a bog standard answer that requires no thought? And are we bad in a way for putting ourselves down so others follow? Or we say xyz is bad as we're seeking reassurance from others?
I'm naval gazing like heck today |
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"Great musings OP but we live in a competitive world and it’s only getting worse. Social media- so very useful but damn, so damaging too. It’s not going to change until we’re all taught from birth on by family, schools, religious groups, the mass media that we are all truly equal. That’s going to take a while .
Until then, I recommend calling people out on what they say and getting them to stop and actually think
Good idea. If you catch me using slurs linked to weight, aesthetics, please call me on it - that crap needs to stop. We can all do better on it I think. "
Last time I did that for someone, I got put on the naughty step.
However, don't care. Call me out, I'd rather be made aware than be a dick. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe women should stop buying those magazines that pick fault with other women’s appearances too, the ones that circle cellulite etc "
Needs to start way before then. Girlie toys and Barbie mags |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe women should stop buying those magazines that pick fault with other women’s appearances too, the ones that circle cellulite etc
Needs to start way before then. Girlie toys and Barbie mags "
There are lots of amazing, empowering books for kids about women, for example: Great Women in Science. Facebook page A mighty girl has amazing stories of inspiring women and literature suggestions. |
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"Maybe women should stop buying those magazines that pick fault with other women’s appearances too, the ones that circle cellulite etc
Needs to start way before then. Girlie toys and Barbie mags
There are lots of amazing, empowering books for kids about women, for example: Great Women in Science. Facebook page A mighty girl has amazing stories of inspiring women and literature suggestions. "
I do like a mighty girl page on Facebook. I don't personally know anyone who buys those kind of magazines anymore. And I certainly haven't in well over a decade |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do we really need to be commenting, either positively or negatively, in relation to physical aspects or personality traits, when interacting with others?
Don't people just chat anymore to get to know someone?
Or does interaction just consist of compliments/put downs?
That's surely very fickle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe women should stop buying those magazines that pick fault with other women’s appearances too, the ones that circle cellulite etc
Needs to start way before then. Girlie toys and Barbie mags "
Ok, so do men buy magazines that pick fault with other men’s physical appearance ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe women should stop buying those magazines that pick fault with other women’s appearances too, the ones that circle cellulite etc
Needs to start way before then. Girlie toys and Barbie mags "
And how we talk to children. Emphasis is put on a girl's appearance as soon as she's born. "What a pretty/beautiful little girl", "what a lovely dress", "what a princess" etc. My parents were guilty of praising my appearance above all my other attributes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe women should stop buying those magazines that pick fault with other women’s appearances too, the ones that circle cellulite etc
Needs to start way before then. Girlie toys and Barbie mags
Ok, so do men buy magazines that pick fault with other men’s physical appearance ? "
Do they even exist? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe women should stop buying those magazines that pick fault with other women’s appearances too, the ones that circle cellulite etc
Needs to start way before then. Girlie toys and Barbie mags
Ok, so do men buy magazines that pick fault with other men’s physical appearance ?
Do they even exist?"
Not as far as I’m aware. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe women should stop buying those magazines that pick fault with other women’s appearances too, the ones that circle cellulite etc
Needs to start way before then. Girlie toys and Barbie mags
Ok, so do men buy magazines that pick fault with other men’s physical appearance ? "
Maybe men never felt as much pressure to look good as women did over years.. There is an old saying in my country, that man only needs to be a little bit more handsome than the devil. That just speak a lot to me. |
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"Based on my own musings on another thread. Why is it that women have so many discrpitives about them? And why is there so much x is better than z. Disclaimer using words and phrases encountered here not my own personal views. There's the seemingly endless posts on fake Vs real boobs, the real women have curves, big labia being described as kebabs, saggy tits, vaginas like a wizards sleeve, the squiring is just urine or that women who don't are made to feel inferior and unfortunately I can go on and on. Surely these words negatively impact on how some women feel about their naked bodies and how confident they having sex? And surely everyone just wants to have great sex without any hang ups?
On a different thread someone said "just enjoy sex for what it is .. a fantastic union between consenting adults" and that's exactly what it should be.
There are of course preferences but surely those can be explained without such negative language? Is it time we all stopped trying to pull each other down and embrace and celebrate that we're all different? "
Unfortunately these days is all about how hot and beatiful you look. |
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"Maybe women should stop buying those magazines that pick fault with other women’s appearances too, the ones that circle cellulite etc
Needs to start way before then. Girlie toys and Barbie mags
Ok, so do men buy magazines that pick fault with other men’s physical appearance ?
Do they even exist?"
I've read that magazine's such as men's health are not always the best for men's perception of themselves. But I've never read it myself personally so it's difficult for me to comment |
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"Women have always been objectified far more than men. Women's bodies are subjected to scrutiny in a way men aren't. Finding fault in a woman's body comes naturally to many men because they think of women as being there for their sexual gratification, therefore things they see as imperfections get named and shamed.
It should be remembered that the criticisms come from the vocal ones. They don't necessarily represent society as a whole. It is becoming less acceptable to criticise women's bodies fortunately, but there is a long way to go.
Whilst I agree with you, I find on here that women are also quick to criticize each other. Which is something I don't understand "
The worst enemy of a woman is another woman. |
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Filter what you see. Strong girls club and brave boys club are great.
When our kids are wimps, we don't say "don't be such a girl/pansy/wuss", we say "stop being such a cabbage!".
The language we use has such an effect! If you look in the mirror, say wow look how strong I am, or I love my hair today, I look happy don't I?... model the behaviour. Let them acknowledge their feelings. "It's ok to feel sad, stressed, funny right now" even "I see your frustrated".
Sounds weird, but we need to make it normal.
As for girls and boys toys... my son take a pink glittery unicorn to bed and so help you if you tried to take it off him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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While I understand the OP, this like a lot of other things and ironically has become an issue of women get it worse than men.
After all, as someone said cunt is still used as a form of verbal abuse, but so is prick and dick.
Men also may not be under as much pressure to look good but they are judged for other things. Cocksize, emotions, wealth etc as someone else mentioned.
Maybe we should all just focus on eliminating negativity and accepting people as they are in general rather than making comparisons in any case... |
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"Filter what you see. Strong girls club and brave boys club are great.
When our kids are wimps, we don't say "don't be such a girl/pansy/wuss", we say "stop being such a cabbage!".
The language we use has such an effect! If you look in the mirror, say wow look how strong I am, or I love my hair today, I look happy don't I?... model the behaviour. Let them acknowledge their feelings. "It's ok to feel sad, stressed, funny right now" even "I see your frustrated".
Sounds weird, but we need to make it normal.
As for girls and boys toys... my son take a pink glittery unicorn to bed and so help you if you tried to take it off him. "
Exactly and not using phrases such as "man up" etc.
We're the same my youngest favourite colour was pink and he had pink wellies fleeces the lot. A colour is just a colour until he went to school |
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"While I understand the OP, this like a lot of other things and ironically has become an issue of women get it worse than men.
After all, as someone said cunt is still used as a form of verbal abuse, but so is prick and dick.
Men also may not be under as much pressure to look good but they are judged for other things. Cocksize, emotions, wealth etc as someone else mentioned.
Maybe we should all just focus on eliminating negativity and accepting people as they are in general rather than making comparisons in any case... "
I don't think I compared womento men, it's just I'm not a man and don't understand the pressures on men as much as I do females. The sentiment of the OP is equally relevant to both genders. And that is we should try and stop using such negative language to describe each other |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"While I understand the OP, this like a lot of other things and ironically has become an issue of women get it worse than men.
After all, as someone said cunt is still used as a form of verbal abuse, but so is prick and dick.
Men also may not be under as much pressure to look good but they are judged for other things. Cocksize, emotions, wealth etc as someone else mentioned.
Maybe we should all just focus on eliminating negativity and accepting people as they are in general rather than making comparisons in any case... "
I agree and have been trying to think of a way to phrase it since first reading this thread - it's a simplistic and idealistic view I know, and certainly not an easy one to achieve but the more we do away with "us and them" and "men vs women" and any number of other comparatives, and move to treating others as individuals not genders, sexualities, races etc the more things will level.
Of course there's a long way to go to achieve that, and that's not to deny some of the struggles of the past and the present but if more people could adopt that philosophy the world would be a better place I'm sure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"While I understand the OP, this like a lot of other things and ironically has become an issue of women get it worse than men.
After all, as someone said cunt is still used as a form of verbal abuse, but so is prick and dick.
Men also may not be under as much pressure to look good but they are judged for other things. Cocksize, emotions, wealth etc as someone else mentioned.
Maybe we should all just focus on eliminating negativity and accepting people as they are in general rather than making comparisons in any case...
I agree and have been trying to think of a way to phrase it since first reading this thread - it's a simplistic and idealistic view I know, and certainly not an easy one to achieve but the more we do away with "us and them" and "men vs women" and any number of other comparatives, and move to treating others as individuals not genders, sexualities, races etc the more things will level.
Of course there's a long way to go to achieve that, and that's not to deny some of the struggles of the past and the present but if more people could adopt that philosophy the world would be a better place I'm sure."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do we really need to be commenting, either positively or negatively, in relation to physical aspects or personality traits, when interacting with others?
Don't people just chat anymore to get to know someone?
Or does interaction just consist of compliments/put downs?
That's surely very fickle "
What a wonderful point on a site full of naked body parts and genital pics. |
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