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Comedy sex moment
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"I’ve had a few but wonder if I’m the only one?
My involved an over ripe and irretrievable banana.....
Did it never see daylight again?  "
I was being fucked hard with it and it broke off. My partner at the time tried to get it out whilst I was thinking of an explanation when I went to hospital. She somehow got it out and ate it. That was a ‘red’ for me. |
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By *ate_BMan
over a year ago
London |
In a moment of excitement, I opened the condom packet and threw it on the side table. I didn't realise the wrapper actually landed on a birthday card to her relative and leaked lube on the front cover  |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"In a moment of excitement, I opened the condom packet and threw it on the side table. I didn't realise the wrapper actually landed on a birthday card to her relative and leaked lube on the front cover "
Ha ha ha! Did the relative notice? |
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By *ate_BMan
over a year ago
London |
"In a moment of excitement, I opened the condom packet and threw it on the side table. I didn't realise the wrapper actually landed on a birthday card to her relative and leaked lube on the front cover
Ha ha ha! Did the relative notice? "
It was a blue card so she had to buy another lol |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"In a moment of excitement, I opened the condom packet and threw it on the side table. I didn't realise the wrapper actually landed on a birthday card to her relative and leaked lube on the front cover
Ha ha ha! Did the relative notice?
It was a blue card so she had to buy another lol"
That’s brilliant. Good aim you have there! X |
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My sex life is more comedy than erotica. I have a huge number of comedy stories, but the latest happened at the beginning of last year.
Very slippery "satin" sheet and duvet cover, he pushed me backwards onto the bed only for the entire duvet to slide against the sheet and dump me onto the floor.
Its coming to something when even the bedding is trying to stop me getting laid. |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"My sex life is more comedy than erotica. I have a huge number of comedy stories, but the latest happened at the beginning of last year.
Very slippery "satin" sheet and duvet cover, he pushed me backwards onto the bed only for the entire duvet to slide against the sheet and dump me onto the floor.
Its coming to something when even the bedding is trying to stop me getting laid."
I can actually picture that! Hope you recovered from that. X |
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An mfm threesome in an inexpensive hotel (named after an Egyptian bird). The male of the couple was reclined against the headboard. As myself and the other guy got into the scissor position, I got an attack of muscle cramp. Stuck in a partial seated position, I slowly rocked backwards off the bottom of the bed and crumpled to the floor.
We found a curt note from the hotel management under the door as we left the room.
...Hasn't stopped my playing in the same hotel though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was 17 and had gone on a double date with my girlfriend, my best mate and his girlfriend and drove us in his little Fiat 125
He dropped his his girlfriend first, going in for a spot of loving, which my GF and took as an opportunity to have a bit on the back seat. With the car being tiny I leant forward the two front seats, she popped her legs over my shoulders and off we went.
However the vigorous rocking caused the seats to fall back, trapping both legs under the seat, wedging us in place. Unable to move we had to wait until he returned and freed us.
He mentions it even now, and worse still so does his mum whenever I see her |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"I was 17 and had gone on a double date with my girlfriend, my best mate and his girlfriend and drove us in his little Fiat 125
He dropped his his girlfriend first, going in for a spot of loving, which my GF and took as an opportunity to have a bit on the back seat. With the car being tiny I leant forward the two front seats, she popped her legs over my shoulders and off we went.
However the vigorous rocking caused the seats to fall back, trapping both legs under the seat, wedging us in place. Unable to move we had to wait until he returned and freed us.
He mentions it even now, and worse still so does his mum whenever I see her"
.
Oh my god!!! |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"Had to call the police once to cut me out of my corset. Been clubbing, a guy had properly tight laced me, but had done a double knot, I went home and realised I couldn't get out!"
That’s only the beginning of this story. What happened next? |
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When I was in Australia, Managed to get a girl back to the hostel only to realise I was on the top bunk... anyway the bed did start rocking and getting wilder and wilder until I managed to fall off the bed ... a few bumps and bruises later she climbed down the ladder and started shag hung me on the floor instead with 5 others in the room |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
At a house party went upstairs with two other couples. There were three bedrooms two were occupied so we went into the third which was the organisers main bedroom. All six of us on the bed when it suddenly collapsed. It was like something from a comedy show. The bottom fell off with a bang and the main part hit the floor, then ever so slowly the headboard fell forward which two of us caught to stop it hitting everybody on the head. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was 17 and had gone on a double date with my girlfriend, my best mate and his girlfriend and drove us in his little Fiat 125
He dropped his his girlfriend first, going in for a spot of loving, which my GF and took as an opportunity to have a bit on the back seat. With the car being tiny I leant forward the two front seats, she popped her legs over my shoulders and off we went.
However the vigorous rocking caused the seats to fall back, trapping both legs under the seat, wedging us in place. Unable to move we had to wait until he returned and freed us.
He mentions it even now, and worse still so does his mum whenever I see her.
Oh my god!!!"
I vividly remember it as if it was yesterday. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mine was two single beds in a hotel together coming apart and us in the middle falling through  "
Lol. Exactly the same happened to me and my ex wife, ended up in a laughing heap on the floor. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was having sex with an ex grilled on the dinner table as I fuck her harder the table broke and she fell on the floor she hurt her arse
So we put caution on the floor and carried on her arse was really hurting |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"I was having sex with an ex grilled on the dinner table as I fuck her harder the table broke and she fell on the floor she hurt her arse
So we put caution on the floor and carried on her arse was really hurting"
What a trooper! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was having sex with an ex grilled on the dinner table as I fuck her harder the table broke and she fell on the floor she hurt her arse
So we put caution on the floor and carried on her arse was really hurting
What a trooper! "
she ask me to rub her arse better after the sex she said I dint know your good massager I said I didnt know myself |
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By *amillMan
over a year ago
Warrington |
Was on holiday with an ex, we were having sex on a sofa bed in the lounge area of our apartment but we obviously hadn’t assembled it correctly.
It wasn’t until we were both getting quite passionate when the bed decided to fold itself in half trapping us both in there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Was on holiday with an ex, we were having sex on a sofa bed in the lounge area of our apartment but we obviously hadn’t assembled it correctly.
It wasn’t until we were both getting quite passionate when the bed decided to fold itself in half trapping us both in there."
oh were yous ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Had a guy take my stockings off, he threw them in the air. They got tangled in his ceiling fan causing his main circuit board to go bang
WOW   funny that's what he said too  "
the question is what happened next ... |
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By *amillMan
over a year ago
Warrington |
"Was on holiday with an ex, we were having sex on a sofa bed in the lounge area of our apartment but we obviously hadn’t assembled it correctly.
It wasn’t until we were both getting quite passionate when the bed decided to fold itself in half trapping us both in there. oh were yous ok"
She was fine, I hurt my leg a bit but the comedy of it all was worth it ahaha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Had a guy take my stockings off, he threw them in the air. They got tangled in his ceiling fan causing his main circuit board to go bang
WOW funny that's what he said too
the question is what happened next ..."
we still managed fun afterwards |
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When jools and I first started seeing each other I was renting a room in a house, the landlady had supplied me with one of those large color gas heater's on wheels as the house was fucking freezing, anyway jools and I had just finished doing the sex and I put on my dressing gown.
The room was cold so I went to turn the heat up but I was lazy, instead of walking round the back of the heater to turn it up I Lent over it.
As I did my still hard cock fell out of dressing gown PLONK! On top of the heater on a very hot piece of metal.
A sizzling followed by a scream , burnt my helmet.
Ouch! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We were at a house party having lots of fun , the wife was handcuffed at the wrist but when it came time to undo the cuffs the key wouldn’t work ! We ended up in the kitchen with the wife on her knees the half d*unk host using an electric drill his Mrs holding a spatula on the wife’s wrist in case the drill slipped and someone else pouring water over her wrist to stop the drill burning !! It was that or getting the fire brigade out ! O how we laughed when it came off |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"We were at a house party having lots of fun , the wife was handcuffed at the wrist but when it came time to undo the cuffs the key wouldn’t work ! We ended up in the kitchen with the wife on her knees the half d*unk host using an electric drill his Mrs holding a spatula on the wife’s wrist in case the drill slipped and someone else pouring water over her wrist to stop the drill burning !! It was that or getting the fire brigade out ! O how we laughed when it came off "
Oh my word!! Fantastic story!!’n |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"When jools and I first started seeing each other I was renting a room in a house, the landlady had supplied me with one of those large color gas heater's on wheels as the house was fucking freezing, anyway jools and I had just finished doing the sex and I put on my dressing gown.
The room was cold so I went to turn the heat up but I was lazy, instead of walking round the back of the heater to turn it up I Lent over it.
As I did my still hard cock fell out of dressing gown PLONK! On top of the heater on a very hot piece of metal.
A sizzling followed by a scream , burnt my helmet.
Ouch!"
That is the kinda thing I would do if I had a cock...... |
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My contender...
Giving a lovely young lass a massage. But I couldn't decide on either a nice fresh dry talc massage or a sticky scented oil.
Why not a double massage?
Well the talc in question was skin sensitive cornstarch based.
Pastry massage anyone? |
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By *sylocke OP Woman
over a year ago
East Anglia |
"My contender...
Giving a lovely young lass a massage. But I couldn't decide on either a nice fresh dry talc massage or a sticky scented oil.
Why not a double massage?
Well the talc in question was skin sensitive cornstarch based.
Pastry massage anyone? "
Thanks for sharing xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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once me and an ex partner used some massage oil for lube during sex late one saturday night, what we didnt do is read the label on the bottle
it said,,if you blew on the skin once the oil ha made contact with the it that area would become warm to hot.
turns out when her moans/moaning got loader she wasnt enjoying herself...
we had to stop,,she said her bumhole was on fire |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm underneath my friend
She's licking my foo foo as I'm licking hers
Her bf is behind her
I asked for his cream inside me
He said he was about too
She moved quickly I moved quickly and as he was getting on top of me i accidentally kneed him in the face and blacked his eye.
He was cumming and saying ouwwwwwww at the same time lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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New partner (who is now husband) first time surprising him with sexy lingerie when he came to mines, laying on the sofa trying to be all provocative. He happily obliged, things were getting pretty heated and he lifted my leg to really go down on me and I let off the biggest fart ever!!! Was totally mortified, a month in so never farted in front of him before. Any chance of getting some was totally gone! |
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My partner tied me to the bed one morning, and then went to get something but instead fell from top to bottom down the stairs badly injuring herself.
I was left on the bed wondering how I could untie myself or even call the fire brigade as I listened to her moaning. After about 20 minutes she was able to crawl up stairs and release me.
She then told all her friends at work what had happened who thought it was that funny, they rang the local radio station who would every morning ring an unexpecting person live on the radio to explain the embarrassing situation they had been in and they actually did ring to try and catch one of us.
Luckily they never caught me or my partner in to answer the phone but I still got plenty of ribbing from her work mates. |
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"I sometimes get massively overly wet do when a guy is really fucking hard it makes a very fart like sound haha, is this normal?"
My ex used to "Fanny Fart" almost every stroke when I was giving her one in Doggy position. |
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