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why are you single??
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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After reading Eveshams thread it made me self evaluate myself as to why im single..
It came down to my size and the fact im a parent.
Are you single through choice or just not met the right man/woman? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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cos i wanna be!! but if the one want ever the one is!! then i might think about it.... but i love my single life much more fun... mind i do miss a man to put the bins out on a sunday night and turn tv over when battiers have gone in remote..... =)  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok got to ask why the size n.bein a parent....??? "
my size is an issue that bothers me and so im not as confident and vibrant as i could be. think men down where i am that i know prefer slimmer women.
and being a parent would add pressure to a relationship.. it would be difficult to date as my time away from her is limited and would no way introduce her til i was sure he was right. by no means am i after a step dad for her (its great as we are) i just think to some men its a warning sign 'oh no single parent' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok got to ask why the size n.bein a parent....???
my size is an issue that bothers me and so im not as confident and vibrant as i could be. think men down where i am that i know prefer slimmer women.
and being a parent would add pressure to a relationship.. it would be difficult to date as my time away from her is limited and would no way introduce her til i was sure he was right. by no means am i after a step dad for her (its great as we are) i just think to some men its a warning sign 'oh no single parent' "
Well those men that see bein a parent as a warning arent the ones you want to date so lucky escape missy,and we all have pasts and many of us are parents if someone wants to be with you they take the full package and vice versa.....get where your comin from with the size/weightthing .....i avent always been big was a proper skinny minny but tbh ive learnt to be me.....but again its whats inside also that ,that special.someone sees....i was on my own for yrs lived the single life then met a grt man but sadly he wasnt in our lifes for long whe..he passed away.....again back to bein.single.but this time sad for loosin someone.Then yrs later whoooosh.....happens when your not looking and t bh sassy not stopped smiling since...so i do believe theres someone for everyone and when your ready you will find him.....here endeth my sermon  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After reading Eveshams thread it made me self evaluate myself as to why im single..
It came down to my size and the fact im a parent.
Are you single through choice or just not met the right man/woman?"
Exactly the same reasons as you i guess...overweight and a single parent (not through my own choice, but my cheating ex-partners)...however, I know i am awesome, just waiting for the guy that thinks that too Chin up sweet, your prince WILL come xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had a great relationship , fantastic sex had security , the wedding was booked.. Then he decided to cheat on me =-O so i left!!
More fool him i say
I enjoy being single now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After reading Eveshams thread it made me self evaluate myself as to why im single..
It came down to my size and the fact im a parent.
Are you single through choice or just not met the right man/woman?
Exactly the same reasons as you i guess...overweight and a single parent (not through my own choice, but my cheating ex-partners)...however, I know i am awesome, just waiting for the guy that thinks that too Chin up sweet, your prince WILL come xx"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thats great you've managed to find love a few times Itsme. A big part of single parent thing is me ultimately not being able to share my little one. She is mine and soley my responsibility. I had a step dad growing up and soon as he had his own son with my mum it was very apparent i was second best. When my mum and step dad split (aged 16) i never heard from him again.
If i had a man from 7pm til 7am that would be ace |
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Because I'm selfish! I love living alone and could never bear someone rootling around in every part of my life!
And I don't sleep well when I'm sharing my bed - I'm seriously grumpy when u don't get my sleep 
I also never wanted children, and it's a rare man who doesn't want that option. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thats great you've managed to find love a few times Itsme. A big part of single parent thing is me ultimately not being able to share my little one. She is mine and soley my responsibility. I had a step dad growing up and soon as he had his own son with my mum it was very apparent i was second best. When my mum and step dad split (aged 16) i never heard from him again.
If i had a man from 7pm til 7am that would be ace "
My daughter as and always will come first and yes know its hard when your dating and have kids.
Luckily pp is awesome with her and she gets on grt wiv him and they ave lots in common like i said finding someone who takes ya as a full package .....not all guys are the same ...my ex as.nothing to do with our daughtet...his choice hes the one missing oot....shes got a grt family unit and now extra squigggggles too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i think its because i fuck them too soon lol
and i think i am too open about my shagging activities....some men cant cope with such a sexually active woman  "
I dont sleep with them quick enough. In my younger days id have no issues with sleeping with a guy on a first meet (not via fabs, through plenty of fish lol) and id act very sexual thinking thats what all men wanted to hear and therefore id be more attractive to them.
now my life is more serious and i should stop dinking around, i hold back thinking im being all 'prim n proper' about things and hoping he'd respect me a bit more for waiting.. then by the time it comes down to actually getting some guts to sleep with a man that i like they've lost interest.
I need to find the balance |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"scared of commitment and too fussy
not a great combo "
My longest 'relationship' has only ever been 6 months.. things go well and for some reason i start to panic. I then go into myself and explode pushing him away.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Because I'm selfish! I love living alone and could never bear someone rootling around in every part of my life!
And I don't sleep well when I'm sharing my bed - I'm seriously grumpy when u don't get my sleep
I also never wanted children, and it's a rare man who doesn't want that option."
God your the female version of me 100%. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sassy, have you worked out WHY you do this? And you've been very open here. Xx"
Why do i do which bit? Go into myself, panic and push the guy away?
Think its because i've been cheated on twice and think that 6 months i can still escape without getting overly hurt. I go into it with good intentions and think 6 months is semi serious..
part of me thinks i wear my heart on my sleeve but part of me (especially now i have a daughter) is well protected behind a massive brick wall and i wont let a man in. I bottle things up, keep my past to my past in fear of scaring him away... oh its all confusing lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I did the married thing and the parent thing for years. Have been single by choice for 8 years now and love being responsible just for me. I like the freedom to do as I like when I like. It would take one hell of a man to get me to give my life style up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sassy, have you worked out WHY you do this? And you've been very open here. Xx
Why do i do which bit? Go into myself, panic and push the guy away?
Think its because i've been cheated on twice and think that 6 months i can still escape without getting overly hurt. I go into it with good intentions and think 6 months is semi serious..
part of me thinks i wear my heart on my sleeve but part of me (especially now i have a daughter) is well protected behind a massive brick wall and i wont let a man in. I bottle things up, keep my past to my past in fear of scaring him away... oh its all confusing lol "
Its very hard once you've been hurt hun x |
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I'm single because I choose to be. Well kind of true and kind of not.
Apart from my job, I love my life, active social life, learning with the OU, great friends around me, great family, although several miles away, I still talk to a lot. I have yet to find a man that enhances that. Over the years, I have dated men, but they have either had a problem with the amount of time I spend with friends, or the fact that I am very open with my friends. They have had a problem with the fact I am bi, one assuming it was just a phase, and that once we got serious I would just stop fancying women!
I do not want children, and as someone else said, it is kind of expected from a woman that pregnancy follows on from a marriage. I also get bored very, very quickly.
I am open to being in a relationship, but I'm equally as happy being on my own, and unwilling to settle for a make do man. |
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I dont get this there has to be a "reason" why people are not in relationships. I know its easy for me to say because im in one now. Your still young, you cant just be in a relationship for the sake of it. You will find the right guy. When i met jay i was 21 stone and a complete nightmare, but he still found qualities in me that he found attractive. You might spend the next 10 years on your own or find someone tomorrow. Noone knows whats round the corner but i do know you cant "plan" on being in a relationship. Chill out a bit and go on a few dates and if he comes along brilliant. |
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An observation: when people are completely reconciled to being single, content with their lot and in no way looking for someone, they trip over a perfect match!
I think that when you are a happy content person you are less likely to settle, you are less likely to be targeted by the liars and cheats and abusive manipulators (yes they target types if people, they don't want to get kneecapped cos the went for a feisty one) and you are more likely to see someone clearly that you may never have considered if you were out looking.
So it's far more important to concentrate on being happy and in love with and respecting yourself. If you don't, how can anyone else be expected to? Or at least, anyone else who's opinion matters! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm single because in my experience most women want exclusivity, marriage or kids (whatever they say at the beginning).
I've been married and am in no need of another one, I already have beautiful kids who have made my life whole. I chose not to be exclusive because I'm enjoying myself.
I'm lucky enough to have a good lifestyle, it suits me being single. Most of all I love my own company and my quiet time. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I dont get this there has to be a "reason" why people are not in relationships. I know its easy for me to say because im in one now. Your still young, you cant just be in a relationship for the sake of it. You will find the right guy. When i met jay i was 21 stone and a complete nightmare, but he still found qualities in me that he found attractive. You might spend the next 10 years on your own or find someone tomorrow. Noone knows whats round the corner but i do know you cant "plan" on being in a relationship. Chill out a bit and go on a few dates and if he comes along brilliant."
And I'm not sure why people have to be in relationships. I get told all the time 'you'll find someone' or 'Mr Right will be along soon', but I have no interest in being in a relationship. Been there, done that, got my fingers burned.
It may well be true that I will meet the perfect guy while I am happy in my singledom. However I have no intention of changing my life any time soon. If I was in a relationship I would have to stop swinging, which is something I am not willing to do right now. Maybe when my hips give out..... |
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"I dont get this there has to be a "reason" why people are not in relationships. I know its easy for me to say because im in one now. Your still young, you cant just be in a relationship for the sake of it. You will find the right guy. When i met jay i was 21 stone and a complete nightmare, but he still found qualities in me that he found attractive. You might spend the next 10 years on your own or find someone tomorrow. Noone knows whats round the corner but i do know you cant "plan" on being in a relationship. Chill out a bit and go on a few dates and if he comes along brilliant.
And I'm not sure why people have to be in relationships. I get told all the time 'you'll find someone' or 'Mr Right will be along soon', but I have no interest in being in a relationship. Been there, done that, got my fingers burned.
It may well be true that I will meet the perfect guy while I am happy in my singledom. However I have no intention of changing my life any time soon. If I was in a relationship I would have to stop swinging, which is something I am not willing to do right now. Maybe when my hips give out..... "
My post wasnt to All single but to the op who seems as though she wants to be in a relatinship. There are lots of people happy to be single. I was. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"My post wasnt to All single but to the op who seems as though she wants to be in a relatinship. There are lots of people happy to be single. I was."
Ooops, my bad. 
I will admit after my last relationship ended in 2006 I would have loved to meet someone, but during the last 6 years I've realised I am much happier the way I am. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sassy, have you worked out WHY you do this? And you've been very open here. Xx
Why do i do which bit? Go into myself, panic and push the guy away?
Think its because i've been cheated on twice and think that 6 months i can still escape without getting overly hurt. I go into it with good intentions and think 6 months is semi serious..
part of me thinks i wear my heart on my sleeve but part of me (especially now i have a daughter) is well protected behind a massive brick wall and i wont let a man in. I bottle things up, keep my past to my past in fear of scaring him away... oh its all confusing lol "
Hmmm.... is this not something to do with fear of rejection?
You said earlier that your Step-Dad rejected you when your step-brother came along. That set the seal, didn't it?
Very often those who fear rejection actually cause the split/rejection to happen simply so that they are sub-conciously in control of it.
Just get the feeling from reading your earlier posts that something of this may lay behind it.... ? ?
Pork  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because I like the fact that I look after myself. I do what I need to when I want to not by anyone else's permission.
I'm also notoriously appalling at relationships. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After reading Eveshams thread it made me self evaluate myself as to why im single..
It came down to my size and the fact im a parent.
Are you single through choice or just not met the right man/woman?"
I myself am a parent but it deosnt have a negetive effect however i think there is a difference with me being male |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been married - she cheated - I left same day and never looked back! I've no kids and have no interest in adding to the world's population but respect those that want them. I'm so much happier now knowing that I have no ties and commitments - a free agent that has no responsibility for anyone else, no-one expecting me to be anywhere at any time and the ability to make spontaneous decisions without running them past anyone else.
Friends always tell me I must get lonely at times and ask if I miss the company?
But then they're the friends that don't know i'm on here!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive been single for nearly 10 yrs and have really ever had a proper relationship. Never been in Love or trusted anyone since childhood.
I have met a great fella from here and he offically asked me out on Wednesday. Im hoping that finally I have someone in my life that can accept me. So this is all new to me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Basically because no one will have me and I don't believe I have the social abilities to meet anyone that isn't off the Internet , I also believe that unless someone sees a picture of my body they would never look at me , which is why when I'm out and about I'd never in a million years talk or approach a woman.
I know my flaws and I live with them , I'm not after the sympathy vote , I'm just a complicated fucker
 |
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Definitely a confidence thing with me and thats down to my weight! I lost 4.5 stone a few years back and didn't appreciate how much better I looked quit the diet and put most of it back on! Biggest mistake I could have made!
Saying that though I have met some nice men who iv dated but it just hasnt worked out.
I can't comment on the single parent thing but what I can tell you is my friend became single last year after her partner of 9 years left her to be with someone else, she was left to cope on her own with a 6 yr old and a 10 month old, she has done such an amazing job and has bagged herself a bf now who completely accepts that she has kids and they come first and they are all loved up! So theres a rainbow for you |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I know my flaws and I live with them , I'm not after the sympathy vote , I'm just a complicated fucker
"
Ditto. Nothing to worry about though. If you're happy alone then go with it. |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
whilst in a relationship you have to be prepared to compromise or sacrifice certain things,... I'm not sure if as a younger person I was prepared to do that or thought it worth doing those things or I hadn't developed my own way of doing things ,, however as I've gotten older I've turned into who I am,, I'm happy with that person ( my ex clearly wasn't ) , I've my own way of doing things , not necessarily the right way .. they're just right for me ..
who knows what will happen , I might be prepared to compromise again, if not happy being me...
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"Basically because no one will have me and I don't believe I have the social abilities to meet anyone that isn't off the Internet , I also believe that unless someone sees a picture of my body they would never look at me , which is why when I'm out and about I'd never in a million years talk or approach a woman.
I know my flaws and I live with them , I'm not after the sympathy vote , I'm just a complicated fucker
"
Think you are being too hard on yourself.. we all have flaws that can make us difficult to put up with at times. x
I know we both have more than our fair share.
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I've been single for about 7 years now through choice, and I think due to that length of time it is harder to imagine sharing your life again with someone as I love being able to do what I want when I want, plus personally I think the older I am getting the fussier I am, catch 22 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm single because I'm busy with work. The last pwrson i was seeing wouldn't put up with me being away, having a son and social life. She cheated on me ripped my heart out and stomped all over it.
Now for me if I don't commit I can't get hurt. I just bury my head in work, and have met some great people here, who I would deffo keep in touch with even if I left this site.
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Twenty five years of singledom for me and I've not got a bloody clue as to why, but I've narrowed my options even more by swinging. I would not and could not give it up so any potential suitor would have to want it too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been single for about 7 years now through choice, and I think due to that length of time it is harder to imagine sharing your life again with someone as I love being able to do what I want when I want, plus personally I think the older I am getting the fussier I am, catch 22 "
So true. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Simples!
Married too young first time round but we parted good mates and still are.
Married someone I thought was 'the one' after being on my own for a few years. Adopted her kids and had the snip so no kids forme and was great for 20 years until I started working too hard and she started being fucked too hard by my best mate when I was away working. Got fucked over in the divorce and ended up wanting to kill her.
Now we are 'OK' but since then there is thing in my head that says 'love = hurt' so it will never happen again and its my choice.
Very happy in my singledom, never lonely and have found some brilliant friends through Swinging. Not enough hours in the day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when i was single i made the choice as im happy with my own company.
im not insecure about the way i am or have any issues with my body than the normal off days
10 years on and being with someone who i love to death, i dont know whats going on on my life but if i am single again it wont phase me
i can be happy on my own or with others x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't have the time or the effort to pt into a relationship, and to be honest I'm enjoying being single.
I doubt my status will change any-time soon, but I'm not daft enough to rule anything out.
Thinking about it, I also think I have a few trust issues, long story short, I have had interest in the real world and too many are married or in relationships, it doesn't fill me with hope. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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im single because i have an 11 year old daughter and i dont want to be bringing new men into her life
How do you know how long a relationship will last, what of you fall for someone introduce them to your child and 6 months later it goes tits up. few months later you meet someone else, think this is the one, introduce them to you child and a year down the line its over, pick yourself up and meet someone else, introduce them to your child.....
how many new men do you bring into your kids life?
I dont want my child growing up looking back on her life and remembering all the 'uncles'
So till shes grown up i shall remain single as my child comes first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Plus if im going to be honest i quite like running my own life
I like being able to go out when i like, come in when i like, stay in when i like, just veg infront of the telly all night if i like, not get dressed all weekend if i like, fart when i like
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By *sMinxyWoman
over a year ago
Scunthorpe |
At first I was happy to be single after 10 years in a marriage with a not so nice person (not going there on here!!)
only time i let my guard down and let someone into my life (family) it went wrong  (i try not to be bitter with the ones that spoilt it!!)
Now I think maybe my kids, age and being a sassy bbw scare men off.. |
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I was married for nearly 25 years to basically a good man . Our son died and it tore us apart.
We are still close and in 10 years he still hasn't dated although I have.
My wedding dress was a size 24...I'm a size 22 now. My size has never been a barrier to anything...well aside from struggling up the roads of Newquay where I am at the minute on my daughters hen weekend, but I digress.
I have a "oh" but I see myself as single. I don't live with him and that won't change. I don't want to share my "things". I don't want to share my time or alter my life.. at the moment.
Do I want to go into retirement on my own? No.
At some point I'll think about what the future holds...at the moment I'm happy with the status quo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because I have not met someone I wanted to settle down with and now I am older, I worry about what I have and what would happen in a divorce as that seems inevitable from what I have seen. I would like to meet someone as I don't want to be on my own when I am old and grey but finding someone is just so difficult; I like being on my own and am very set in my ways so sharing would be uncomfortable so it really would take someone special, just now and again, I wish I wasn't on my own |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was married for nearly 25 years to basically a good man . Our son died and it tore us apart.
We are still close and in 10 years he still hasn't dated although I have.
My wedding dress was a size 24...I'm a size 22 now. My size has never been a barrier to anything...well aside from struggling up the roads of Newquay where I am at the minute on my daughters hen weekend, but I digress.
I have a "oh" but I see myself as single. I don't live with him and that won't change. I don't want to share my "things". I don't want to share my time or alter my life.. at the moment.
Do I want to go into retirement on my own? No.
At some point I'll think about what the future holds...at the moment I'm happy with the status quo."
Enjoy Newquay btw, lovely weather down there for your daugthers hen do |
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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago
near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack! |
It`s a combination of things with me. I was never a confident person nor that social either. Combined with living in a quiet village that was a bit of a drag to get anywhere at night to socialise didn`t help. I then got into a strong friendship with a girl in the village and stayed faithfull to her for far too long before I realised that whilst she was happy being with me she didn`t want a sex life.
Now very happy with the small circle of good friends I have! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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both me and phil have done the marriage thing and the long term relationship thing, both of us got badly hurt in different ways unfortunately, when i split with my ex he was in another relationship within a fortnight but i made a consious decision to be on my own with four children.
i truly adore my kiddies they truly are my life as phils are his, phil and i became friends and met up for coffee a few times and decided that yeah we really like each other and wanted to be together, we both have issues and we accept that about each other, we take one day at a time, we both have certain insecurities but together we can work through them.
saying that we both know that we can do the single life and enjoyed it too.
sometimes you have to take the risk and let people in xx
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"I was married for nearly 25 years to basically a good man . Our son died and it tore us apart.
We are still close and in 10 years he still hasn't dated although I have.
My wedding dress was a size 24...I'm a size 22 now. My size has never been a barrier to anything...well aside from struggling up the roads of Newquay where I am at the minute on my daughters hen weekend, but I digress.
I have a "oh" but I see myself as single. I don't live with him and that won't change. I don't want to share my "things". I don't want to share my time or alter my life.. at the moment.
Do I want to go into retirement on my own? No.
At some point I'll think about what the future holds...at the moment I'm happy with the status quo.
Enjoy Newquay btw, lovely weather down there for your daugthers hen do "
It's gorgeous...but so hilly!!!  |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"I was married for nearly 25 years to basically a good man . Our son died and it tore us apart.
We are still close and in 10 years he still hasn't dated although I have.
My wedding dress was a size 24...I'm a size 22 now. My size has never been a barrier to anything...well aside from struggling up the roads of Newquay where I am at the minute on my daughters hen weekend, but I digress.
I have a "oh" but I see myself as single. I don't live with him and that won't change. I don't want to share my "things". I don't want to share my time or alter my life.. at the moment.
Do I want to go into retirement on my own? No.
At some point I'll think about what the future holds...at the moment I'm happy with the status quo.
Enjoy Newquay btw, lovely weather down there for your daugthers hen do
It's gorgeous...but so hilly!!! "
there was a great hotel featured on the TV yesterday for down there... it was the Scarlett Hotel
looked fantastic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Basically because no one will have me and I don't believe I have the social abilities to meet anyone that isn't off the Internet , I also believe that unless someone sees a picture of my body they would never look at me , which is why when I'm out and about I'd never in a million years talk or approach a woman.
I know my flaws and I live with them , I'm not after the sympathy vote , I'm just a complicated fucker
"
i have to be honest im very much like that
I have zero self confidance really, and would never approach a man in 'real life' i have never had sex with anyone since the break up of my marrage that wasnt arranged thro swinging/clubs etc
I kind of see myself as not being the type of women a man wants, im ok for a fuck but thats about it really, like you i know my flaws as you put it, inperfections as i put it and i dont believe i have anything to offer someone looking for a full time relationship, even if i was looking
And i dont even have having a good body working in my favour |
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"Basically because no one will have me and I don't believe I have the social abilities to meet anyone that isn't off the Internet , I also believe that unless someone sees a picture of my body they would never look at me , which is why when I'm out and about I'd never in a million years talk or approach a woman.
I know my flaws and I live with them , I'm not after the sympathy vote , I'm just a complicated fucker
i have to be honest im very much like that
I have zero self confidance really, and would never approach a man in 'real life' i have never had sex with anyone since the break up of my marrage that wasnt arranged thro swinging/clubs etc
I kind of see myself as not being the type of women a man wants, im ok for a fuck but thats about it really, like you i know my flaws as you put it, inperfections as i put it and i dont believe i have anything to offer someone looking for a full time relationship, even if i was looking
And i dont even have having a good body working in my favour "
I am the same I have zero self confidence but looking at changing what I have issues with.. i.e my weight. I don't think I am butt ugly but I think due to my low self esteem I tend to meet men that take advantage of that and treat me like crap... I have my flaws and can be bit of a nightmare but I am a good person that sometimes craves to be loved as I don't think I have ever been loved.. Just lusted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seemingly i have it all so im told.
Im so easy going, geat cook do all the diy etc.
So why cant i meet a nice man?
I had 27 years of marriage to a lovely man but dwindled in the end.
My issue is my weight and lack of self confidance, but im always told im so pretty all my life i have people saying it.
But im so bloody choosy!!!!!!!
Personally i hate being on my own!!!!
Well thats me gone, wheres the hankies lol!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I single through choice. There was a time I did consider not being single but just as I was being converted to the idea of letting a man in my life he turned out to be exactly the twat I choose to avoid my child being exposed to by my decision to be single so that was a lesson learnt for me that I right to keep men away other than just sex and a close escape for my child too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whoever posted 'cos no one will have me' summed up my situation too.....
I drive people spare with my quirks and odities, im not the most handsome person and despite my apparent confidence I am a gibbering wreck when in the company of someone i quite fancy, which rarely goes down well..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have dipped my toes in the world of vanilla dating, and frankly, I could not get out fast enough.
Too many needy people desperate for attention, with the personality of a slug.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Too many needy people desperate for attention
like fab then?  "
My friend had to delete on here cos a needy woman stalked his verifications and phoned/texted 24/7 V scary |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Too many needy people desperate for attention
like fab then?
My friend had to delete on here cos a needy woman stalked his verifications and phoned/texted 24/7 V scary "
yeah but did he get a few shags out of it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm too bloody picky and I'm into so many things... not sure one person could ever be everything I need.
Oh, and most of my previous partners have had some kind of idea that they owned me like property. I don't much care for anyone thinking they own me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like being single most of the time, and don't think I will ever settle down again into a 24/7 conventional relationship.
I'd like someone that I could see at the weekends and a bit of chat through the week, but still have our own lives and independence |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've fallen genuinely in love once in my life, it lasted 12 years then we split up. I just can't imagine it ever happening again and see no point in getting with someone just for the sake of it.
I'd had relationships before him but never felt settled, always felt trapped, bored and had to get the fuck out of it
So, I've stayed single since Ed. I come an' go when I like, there's no shite telly on 24/7, I eat if I'm hungry, If I'm not hungry I don't bother, if I need relief then there's this place
I'm quite happy right now with a few 'Fab friends' all great fun in different ways and no unrealistic expectations from either side. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After reading Eveshams thread it made me self evaluate myself as to why im single..
It came down to my size and the fact im a parent.
Are you single through choice or just not met the right man/woman?"
Im single because i choose to be and i likes it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Basically because no one will have me and I don't believe I have the social abilities to meet anyone that isn't off the Internet , I also believe that unless someone sees a picture of my body they would never look at me , which is why when I'm out and about I'd never in a million years talk or approach a woman.
I know my flaws and I live with them , I'm not after the sympathy vote , I'm just a complicated fucker
i have to be honest im very much like that
I have zero self confidance really, and would never approach a man in 'real life' i have never had sex with anyone since the break up of my marrage that wasnt arranged thro swinging/clubs etc
I kind of see myself as not being the type of women a man wants, im ok for a fuck but thats about it really, like you i know my flaws as you put it, inperfections as i put it and i dont believe i have anything to offer someone looking for a full time relationship, even if i was looking
And i dont even have having a good body working in my favour
I am the same I have zero self confidence but looking at changing what I have issues with.. i.e my weight. I don't think I am butt ugly but I think due to my low self esteem I tend to meet men that take advantage of that and treat me like crap... I have my flaws and can be bit of a nightmare but I am a good person that sometimes craves to be loved as I don't think I have ever been loved.. Just lusted "
Low self esteem is the bug bare of most single people in my humble opinion , how can I expect someone else to respect me when I've no respect for myself ?
If I can't look at myself in the mirror how can I expect someone to look me in the eye and be happy with what they see ?
Like I said, I'm a complicated fucker |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Complicated is more interesting.
Sheesh, give yourself a break. You write in entire words and actually make sense so IMO you're ahead of a fair proportion of the single blokes on this site.
I don't always like myself very much but I have a right to judge myself. Nobody else has a right to judge me and anyone disrespecting me can hit the damned road pronto.
I make bad choices sometimes and get hurt, sometimes as a result of confidence issues, but they only get to treat me badly the once. |
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Anyone who walks the journey of life alone has missed out on living. I am one of the coldest people and very much a loner and only love my wife and my family, no one else, have very few friends... But even I know that life is worth nothing when you do it alone. Luckily for me I found a woman that to me is the most perfect person in the world and who fits me like a glove. Anyone that says they are too fussy or independent or love being single is lying, deep down they are lying. The human spirit is not made and does not want to be alone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm perfectly fine being single. I could use the occasional hug, a lot more sex and someone to go out to dinner with now and again, but life is very definitely not pointless when you're single.
Perhaps that's how it is for you but you can't possibly know how other people feel.
A person is a complete being. Having a special person to share things with is awesome but nobody is incomplete without a partner. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone who walks the journey of life alone has missed out on living. I am one of the coldest people and very much a loner and only love my wife and my family, no one else, have very few friends... But even I know that life is worth nothing when you do it alone. Luckily for me I found a woman that to me is the most perfect person in the world and who fits me like a glove. Anyone that says they are too fussy or independent or love being single is lying, deep down they are lying. The human spirit is not made and does not want to be alone."
well bloody rub it in why dont you! Lol....
In all seriousness i largely agree with the second half of your post, but being a cynical bugger doesnt tend to go down very well with the other half of the human race..... I rarely meet women at the moment (outside of the scene) let alone single one. rarer yet are single ones who im attracted too....even rarer (and we are talking hens teeth) single women who im atracted to and who are both atracted to me and willing to put ap with me....... |
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"I'm perfectly fine being single. I could use the occasional hug, a lot more sex and someone to go out to dinner with now and again, but life is very definitely not pointless when you're single.
Perhaps that's how it is for you but you can't possibly know how other people feel.
A person is a complete being. Having a special person to share things with is awesome but nobody is incomplete without a partner."
No you're not incomplete, you're just not complete... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No you're not incomplete, you're just not complete..."
That makes no sense at all and is absolute tosh.
It's great that you are happy but what works for you isn't going to be right for everyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well firstly I am sorry some people are on their own because of low self esteem. That is quite sad (in the proper meaning of the word) and it made me have another think.
But having had another look through the mirror of life I am quite content with my lot, who I am, where I am in life and all those variables. One thing people do confuse is 'loneliness' and 'being alone'. All I can say is I was very lonely on occasions when I was married but never have been lonely since being single. Becuase I have Clinical Depression I do get 'dark days' but that is not loneliness and I manage.
I thought it was a bit out of order someone saying people on their own are incomplete or not complete. If a person feels complete in their life (as I do and I know other singletons who feel the same) then that is their call. Its not for anyone outside of their life to make that judgment IMHO. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
" Anyone that says they are too fussy or independent or love being single is lying, deep down they are lying. The human spirit is not made and does not want to be alone."
Unfortunately you saying this will make people think that you are right, and that being single is only for sadsacks who have failed at life just because they live alone. It's like saying a woman is not complete without children. You have failed to take into account that not everyone is like you.
I've been in relationships and prefer being alone, so you are wrong. Maybe you are only wrong in my case, but it does make your sweeping statement doubtful. Try to remember that opinions are only opinions, not facts, and that you don't know how others feel about their lives. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would love to settle down and have the ultimate secure family unit instead of doing everything as a single mum it can be extremely lonely.
But I have given up looking if it happens it happens in the mean time I am out there having funx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Anyone that says they are too fussy or independent or love being single is lying, deep down they are lying. The human spirit is not made and does not want to be alone.
Unfortunately you saying this will make people think that you are right, and that being single is only for sadsacks who have failed at life just because they live alone. It's like saying a woman is not complete without children. You have failed to take into account that not everyone is like you.
I've been in relationships and prefer being alone, so you are wrong. Maybe you are only wrong in my case, but it does make your sweeping statement doubtful. Try to remember that opinions are only opinions, not facts, and that you don't know how others feel about their lives."
I've spent much of my adult life in relationships of some kind, it's been two year since I became single and currently finding this the easiest and most pleasant period of my adult life, in time things may change or may not, either way I'm happy as I am. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm perfectly fine being single. I could use the occasional hug, a lot more sex and someone to go out to dinner with now and again, but life is very definitely not pointless when you're single.
Perhaps that's how it is for you but you can't possibly know how other people feel.
A person is a complete being. Having a special person to share things with is awesome but nobody is incomplete without a partner."
Well said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone that says they are too fussy or independent or love being single is lying, deep down they are lying. The human spirit is not made and does not want to be alone."
As a liar then ...can I disagree with both the premise of your point and the interpretation?
Life is NOT the same as a single compared with being as part of a couple. But don't confuse 'difference' with a lack of happiness. Some of us have been badly bruised living in your idea of spiritual perfection and so some of us prefer our version of perfection..
Doesn't make us liars...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Anyone that says they are too fussy or independent or love being single is lying, deep down they are lying. The human spirit is not made and does not want to be alone."
I dont agree with that
Tho i do think that everyone needs companionship i dont think everyone needs to be in a relationship
Ive been single over 3 years now and im that time i have had no desire to form another relationship
I do have need but all my needs are ful filled by friends and people i meet off here
I dont feel the need to be in a relationship, ive been there, done that and got several t shirts, every single one of my marrages have failed, i believe that some people are best suited to be alone while some people cant cope alone
I hate having to answer to anyone, if i want to do something im doing it, i really dont think im designed to share my life with someone unless i get a no brainer who never questions anything i do
yet i know people who as soon as one relationships over they are out lookiung for another because they dont want to be, and i think some are even scared of being alone
we are all different |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Anyone that says they are too fussy or independent or love being single is lying, deep down they are lying. The human spirit is not made and does not want to be alone.
I dont agree with that
Tho i do think that everyone needs companionship i dont think everyone needs to be in a relationship
Ive been single over 3 years now and im that time i have had no desire to form another relationship
I do have need but all my needs are ful filled by friends and people i meet off here
I dont feel the need to be in a relationship, ive been there, done that and got several t shirts, every single one of my marrages have failed, i believe that some people are best suited to be alone while some people cant cope alone
I hate having to answer to anyone, if i want to do something im doing it, i really dont think im designed to share my life with someone unless i get a no brainer who never questions anything i do
yet i know people who as soon as one relationships over they are out lookiung for another because they dont want to be, and i think some are even scared of being alone
we are all different"
hey baby, youve not met me yet |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"Anyone who walks the journey of life alone has missed out on living. I am one of the coldest people and very much a loner and only love my wife and my family, no one else, have very few friends... But even I know that life is worth nothing when you do it alone. Luckily for me I found a woman that to me is the most perfect person in the world and who fits me like a glove. Anyone that says they are too fussy or independent or love being single is lying, deep down they are lying. The human spirit is not made and does not want to be alone."
Sorry, I'm glad you're happy, but that is complete bollocks for many other people, me included.....I love my family, I love my friends and my cats, I have no children through choice and am single through choice after a marriage and a couple of disastrous relationships (I don't have the monogamy gene and don't want it either)....someone else mentioned the difference between loneliness and being alone.....the loneliest time of my life was the last 3 years of my marriage when I was desperate to get out but couldn't bring myself to hurt a nice bloke who had only made the mistake of loving me....I am the happiest I've been for a long time - I'm most definately not looking for a relationship and think it unlikely that I'll have another one, though I never say never.....As I said, I'm glad you're happy and hope you continue to be so, but please don't accuse every single person who says they are content with their life of being a liar - sweeping generalisations are so last year |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone who walks the journey of life alone has missed out on living. I am one of the coldest people and very much a loner and only love my wife and my family, no one else, have very few friends... But even I know that life is worth nothing when you do it alone. Luckily for me I found a woman that to me is the most perfect person in the world and who fits me like a glove. Anyone that says they are too fussy or independent or love being single is lying, deep down they are lying. The human spirit is not made and does not want to be alone.
Sorry, I'm glad you're happy, but that is complete bollocks for many other people, me included.....I love my family, I love my friends and my cats, I have no children through choice and am single through choice after a marriage and a couple of disastrous relationships (I don't have the monogamy gene and don't want it either)....someone else mentioned the difference between loneliness and being alone.....the loneliest time of my life was the last 3 years of my marriage when I was desperate to get out but couldn't bring myself to hurt a nice bloke who had only made the mistake of loving me....I am the happiest I've been for a long time - I'm most definately not looking for a relationship and think it unlikely that I'll have another one, though I never say never.....As I said, I'm glad you're happy and hope you continue to be so, but please don't accuse every single person who says they are content with their life of being a liar - sweeping generalisations are so last year"
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"Anyone who walks the journey of life alone has missed out on living. I am one of the coldest people and very much a loner and only love my wife and my family, no one else, have very few friends... But even I know that life is worth nothing when you do it alone. Luckily for me I found a woman that to me is the most perfect person in the world and who fits me like a glove. Anyone that says they are too fussy or independent or love being single is lying, deep down they are lying. The human spirit is not made and does not want to be alone."
You are mistaking being alone with not living with a partner.
Colourful and emotive but unsubstantiated tosh .... bit like religion.
I have no partner. I am NEVER lonely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone who walks the journey of life alone has missed out on living. I am one of the coldest people and very much a loner and only love my wife and my family, no one else, have very few friends... But even I know that life is worth nothing when you do it alone. Luckily for me I found a woman that to me is the most perfect person in the world and who fits me like a glove. Anyone that says they are too fussy or independent or love being single is lying, deep down they are lying. The human spirit is not made and does not want to be alone.
You are mistaking being alone with not living with a partner.
Colourful and emotive but unsubstantiated tosh .... bit like religion.
I have no partner. I am NEVER lonely. "
i agree with that, i have family, i have kids, i dont need a man in my life to stop me being alone
If i wanted to be with someone i would be, i have had a few offers since the break down of my marrage but i have always turned them down
I am single thro choice and the reason i made this choice is because im happy how i am
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"Anyone who walks the journey of life alone has missed out on living. I am one of the coldest people and very much a loner and only love my wife and my family, no one else, have very few friends... But even I know that life is worth nothing when you do it alone. Luckily for me I found a woman that to me is the most perfect person in the world and who fits me like a glove. Anyone that says they are too fussy or independent or love being single is lying, deep down they are lying. The human spirit is not made and does not want to be alone."
I disagree, im with someone i love more than i thought i could love anyone. He lives 82 miles from me, we do things on our own as well as together and i could never ever live with someone i just love living on my own. So for me i have the best of both worlds |
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By *eaboMan
over a year ago
marden |
am single by choice. Have been a loner from very young. Did the marriage and kids bit and marriage didn't work. the kids are obviously the most important people in my life, even the youngest two which aren't biologicaly mine and precipitated the demise of the marriage, but are totally my kids. Am the happiest i have been in my life. When i want company i find it, but prefer to be on my own. |
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I am single but not through choice. I've had a couple of relationships over the years, the last one ended when I felt ready for marriage & it turned out she didn't see us ever getting married. I wouldn't say I am putting a massive amount of effort into finding someone (the desperate look is not a good one) but I am on the lookout.
I honestly think I am worth it & I won't compromise my standards - not that they're exceptionally high. When the right person comes along I will love & adore them with all my soul.
Part of my being single is a tendency to fall for girls who, unbeknownst to me, are planning to leave the country. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone who walks the journey of life alone has missed out on living. I am one of the coldest people and very much a loner and only love my wife and my family, no one else, have very few friends... But even I know that life is worth nothing when you do it alone. Luckily for me I found a woman that to me is the most perfect person in the world and who fits me like a glove. Anyone that says they are too fussy or independent or love being single is lying, deep down they are lying. The human spirit is not made and does not want to be alone."
Some people dont need another in order to be complete.
I may live alone but am not lonely.
And besides, i cant put anyone in a bad postion by living with me,. Ive become quite selfish |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fresh from split up so not in the right mind set for a full on relationship though I still get some of that side of things with regulars who I get on with as friends as well.
Just gonna spend a year or so at least working out what I want for the future. |
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