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Second guessing compliments
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By *nique_78 OP Woman
over a year ago
Home, somewhere in Norfolk |
So reflection on my time on fab, I've realised I'm not as insecure as before I had joined but insecurities are still a way of life.
So my question is do any plus size/curvy fabbers second guess compliments received from guy's society imply are out of bigger women's reach (abb fab, muscular, model looking type of men)?  |
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"Im fat,hairy,old yes i second guess a lot  "
You're also extremely attractive 
Eye of the beholder and all that. Plus we're our own worst critics (see my previous post, as I don't see whatever these women see that's for damn sure) |
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Absolutely!
My profile is hidden atm, but part of me still feels like those who want to meet me are just settling for a fat lass so they can have a shag. A fat lass is better than no shag!
And I felt really intimidated when I went to clubs alone (when it was allowed!). So many beautiful (slim) people!
I'm still struggling with the idea that someone would find my body attractive... But I'm working on it! |
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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago
Solihull and Brentwood |
"Absolutely!
My profile is hidden atm, but part of me still feels like those who want to meet me are just settling for a fat lass so they can have a shag. A fat lass is better than no shag!
And I felt really intimidated when I went to clubs alone (when it was allowed!). So many beautiful (slim) people!
I'm still struggling with the idea that someone would find my body attractive... But I'm working on it! "
Wow. Wow1 for your profile pic which from what I can see is outstanding in every sense of the word.
Wow2 because of what you said: People are people....to quote a lyric and not everyone will like everyone else.
I'm at the age now that I seriously don't care, what other people think of me: The ones that like me. Thankyou. The ones that don't. No worries, they can feck off.
I'm not saying that's right and it probably isn't. But worrying about what people are thinking of you: I did that back in the 80's, and a fat lot of good, it did me.
Be yourself is my only advice. Because no one will ever love you more......except your family.
As for the shagging bit. Your in control of that aspect totally. If you like the guy. On the first or nth. date. Have at it, and shag the arse of him. If you need to become a dom to do that. So be it. But always be in control of what you want and if the bloke doesn't like that. Sling him out and find another.
Just think of yourself, as an amazing lady, and blokes are 10 A penny and should be there for your use.(Sexual or otherwise...use and abuse them if you have to.) until you meet the right one for you.
By the way, I'm not trying to chat you up. Just trying to get you to think positively about yourself. |
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Thanks, Termite. I had an epiphany tonight while chatting to someone.
I've realised that I sometimes feel like I don't belong in a club - especially when it's busy and everyone seems to already know each other. But I've never looked at someone else in a club and thought, "Well, you don't belong here!".
Like I said, my self esteem is a work in progress
And thank you for the compliments on my profile pic x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolutely!
My profile is hidden atm, but part of me still feels like those who want to meet me are just settling for a fat lass so they can have a shag. A fat lass is better than no shag!
And I felt really intimidated when I went to clubs alone (when it was allowed!). So many beautiful (slim) people!
I'm still struggling with the idea that someone would find my body attractive... But I'm working on it! "
When you are born with a pussy you have more power than a fat older guy on here. We are all our own worat critics. What you see in the mirror and hate someone else will love. Start to love yourself for who you are. Then you will build your confidence and not give a toss what others think of you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thanks, Termite. I had an epiphany tonight while chatting to someone.
I've realised that I sometimes feel like I don't belong in a club - especially when it's busy and everyone seems to already know each other. But I've never looked at someone else in a club and thought, "Well, you don't belong here!".
Like I said, my self esteem is a work in progress
And thank you for the compliments on my profile pic x"
That's similar to how I try suppress the urge to second guess any positive attention. I turn it around and think well I'm not attracted to perfection, so why is it so outrageous that other people aren't either? I find myself drooling over or admiring people from afar then am shocked when I see them say they don't think they're attractive. The sheer variety of bodies and attitudes on here is my favourite thing for absorbing some body positivity. Also, you have one of my favourite names  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Absolutely!
My profile is hidden atm, but part of me still feels like those who want to meet me are just settling for a fat lass so they can have a shag. A fat lass is better than no shag!
And I felt really intimidated when I went to clubs alone (when it was allowed!). So many beautiful (slim) people!
I'm still struggling with the idea that someone would find my body attractive... But I'm working on it! "
I'm learning to learn and accept myself as I am. Spent the last 30 odd years hiding behind weight and always called myself "the fat funny friend ". Have listened to podcasts and some books on audible over the last year and im slowly chipping away at the negative talk, the lack of self confidence.
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Absolutely!
My profile is hidden atm, but part of me still feels like those who want to meet me are just settling for a fat lass so they can have a shag. A fat lass is better than no shag!
And I felt really intimidated when I went to clubs alone (when it was allowed!). So many beautiful (slim) people!
I'm still struggling with the idea that someone would find my body attractive... But I'm working on it!
Wow. Wow1 for your profile pic which from what I can see is outstanding in every sense of the word.
Wow2 because of what you said: People are people....to quote a lyric and not everyone will like everyone else.
I'm at the age now that I seriously don't care, what other people think of me: The ones that like me. Thankyou. The ones that don't. No worries, they can feck off.
I'm not saying that's right and it probably isn't. But worrying about what people are thinking of you: I did that back in the 80's, and a fat lot of good, it did me.
Be yourself is my only advice. Because no one will ever love you more......except your family.
As for the shagging bit. Your in control of that aspect totally. If you like the guy. On the first or nth. date. Have at it, and shag the arse of him. If you need to become a dom to do that. So be it. But always be in control of what you want and if the bloke doesn't like that. Sling him out and find another.
Just think of yourself, as an amazing lady, and blokes are 10 A penny and should be there for your use.(Sexual or otherwise...use and abuse them if you have to.) until you meet the right one for you.
By the way, I'm not trying to chat you up. Just trying to get you to think positively about yourself."
Totally agree with this I've got to the age now and realised if someone doesn't like me its their loss. Also spent a lot of time pleasing everyone else, living my life by the way they thought I should live but in the last year have learnt a lot about myself, realised I was to blame for some friendships going South but onwards and upwards |
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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago
Solihull and Brentwood |
"Thanks, Termite. I had an epiphany tonight while chatting to someone.
I've realised that I sometimes feel like I don't belong in a club - especially when it's busy and everyone seems to already know each other. But I've never looked at someone else in a club and thought, "Well, you don't belong here!".
Like I said, my self esteem is a work in progress
And thank you for the compliments on my profile pic x"
More than welcum. Just wish I knew what an epiphany was? I'm sure it's rude, and involves apple's or the clergy.
Take care and If you ever need any help. Ping me a mail. |
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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago
Solihull and Brentwood |
"I'm learning to learn and accept myself as I am. Spent the last 30 odd years hiding behind weight and always called myself "the fat funny friend ". Have listened to podcasts and some books on audible over the last year and im slowly chipping away at the negative talk, the lack of self confidence.
X"
Yep. I used to seriously worry about what people thought about me up until the last 20 years.
For me if someone starts any negative talk whatsoever, even about others. I'm basically looking for a way out. To avoid them totally. As I've realised that negative talk of any kind affects my self esteem and creates clicks.
It stems from a bullying episode where because the boss belittled me in front of colleagues on a regular basis. Those colleagues used to use me, to do anything they didn't want to do workwise. I was trying to fit in and accepted it. Then started to realise I was an idiot. So, the company announced redundancies and I took the opportunity to go from the worst job I ever had. To the best.
I made lot's of mistakes at the new company. But the boss and the rest of the guys and gals always helped each other out. I made several good friends for life and was a lot happier in my overall outlook and will never allow people to bully me or my friends. As I figured out you need to stand upto bullies. At the beginning preferably. As sooo much more difficult if you let it continue. |
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"
More than welcum. Just wish I knew what an epiphany was? I'm sure it's rude, and involves apple's or the clergy.
Take care and If you ever need any help. Ping me a mail. "
An epiphany = a light bulb moment. Suddenly realising something that puts everything else into proper perspective.
They did have them in the bible (a candlelight moment?) and I guess Newton with his apple led to an epiphany about gravity. So you weren't far wrong |
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