FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How long to wait?
How long to wait?
Jump to: Newest in thread
Hello ladies I would love to probe your brain for some opinions.
How long should we (men) wait to re message. I understand some messages don’t get read and deleted just from the sheer numbers you get but if we read the profile and feel like there could be something. Common interests,things said on the profile etc etc. So how long should we wait before re trying to interact with you all  . Thank you and hope yous can all help |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello ladies I would love to probe your brain for some opinions.
How long should we (men) wait to re message. I understand some messages don’t get read and deleted just from the sheer numbers you get but if we read the profile and feel like there could be something. Common interests,things said on the profile etc etc. So how long should we wait before re trying to interact with you all . Thank you and hope yous can all help "
Never is my rule and that’s that person lose |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *etro1940sCouple
over a year ago
Kingston upon Thames |
as a couple we get a lot of messages with a focus on Anne ... we try our best to reply to most and it does take time; a second attempt or message is not a problem for us ... but of course, no thanks means no thanks. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Usually, it's a no so move on. Also consider using open ended messages that warrant an interactive response.
Nothing worse than getting badgered because i havent responded to something generic like 'I like hotwives' |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If I have read it and deleted dont bother.
If it's not been read it may have been missed so maybe give it a day or 2 and try again.
One day I'd not been on here as I'd been really busy at work and when I finally logged on I had over 20 messages from the same guy.
They started off friendly then gradually went from rude to downright abusive because I hadn't replied and I'd simply not seen them.
That is how NOT to do it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Varies. Generally we'll respond with a polite no, fortunately we've not suffered any abuse yet other than being called a prude for not wanting to meet while in tier 4
However, sometimes we read messages and then get distracted and just forget. Other times we might change our mind.
If we get repeated every few days then it's a block, but every so often we don't mind as it's not too hard to just delete |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yeah I totally get it. A no is a no and someone said a few days I normally wait a month or two as it tells you at the top off the profile and also I delete a lot off messages so sometimes I forget if they read it and deleted my message or just straight up deleted it due to sheer numbers. But yes a no means NO. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hello ladies I would love to probe your brain for some opinions.
How long should we (men) wait to re message. I understand some messages don’t get read and deleted just from the sheer numbers you get but if we read the profile and feel like there could be something. Common interests,things said on the profile etc etc. So how long should we wait before re trying to interact with you all . Thank you and hope yous can all help "
What, you mean people actually read the messages you send??!!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This is my biggest dilemma on here. I have come to the conclusion that if she has read it but hasn't responded in 5 days, she's not interested. If she hasn't read it it in 5 days, she never was. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"This is my biggest dilemma on here. I have come to the conclusion that if she has read it but hasn't responded in 5 days, she's not interested. If she hasn't read it it in 5 days, she never was."
I agree with the top half but 2-3 woman/couple have said if it’s unopen it might off fell through the cracks which I’ve never experienced been a guy haha but they get a lot off messages. Where just a drop off rain In the sea haha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is my biggest dilemma on here. I have come to the conclusion that if she has read it but hasn't responded in 5 days, she's not interested. If she hasn't read it it in 5 days, she never was.
I agree with the top half but 2-3 woman/couple have said if it’s unopen it might off fell through the cracks which I’ve never experienced been a guy haha but they get a lot off messages. Where just a drop off rain In the sea haha "
I think if it has ‘fallen through the cracks’ then trying 1 more time is probably acceptable. Be aware though that some people do read them and then ‘Marked as unread’ if they aren’t interested as it saves getting abused for not replying. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Being left on read tends to mean a no but if it’s bugging you that much, maybe wait a couple of days and send a second explaining you think your first message may have been lost and let them decide from there, if they leave you on read again you know it was deliberate both times and you’ll have your answer
I’ve had a few do that and it’s usually fine as long as they’re not pushy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I do love balls though
Wrong fucking thread! 
Brilliant Nora. Clearly you've got balls on your mind. "
Oh _eli. You’ve no idea. I’m a sex starved Nutjob |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Being left on read tends to mean a no but if it’s bugging you that much, maybe wait a couple of days and send a second explaining you think your first message may have been lost and let them decide from there, if they leave you on read again you know it was deliberate both times and you’ll have your answer
I’ve had a few do that and it’s usually fine as long as they’re not pushy "
No if it’s read it doesn’t bother me at all like I said I understand not everyone’s is everyone’s cup off tea some like beards some don’t. Some like me dressed in lingerie and some don’t no love lost there it’s just if it isn’t read. Do I think it’s lost in the numbers or is she ignoring it.
I’m just trying to find out for me and for other men I guess if there is a rough guidance to not seem like pestering. I normally wait 1-2 months and if I remember about them I might re message but most times I’ve forgotten after a joint or two |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I do love balls though
Had a peek at your profile and love your photos would love someone to help me pick some nice things to wear. You have a good eye "
Aw thanks. I don’t have many pics up at the moment but they’re mostly from love honey I think x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I never chase a first message that goes unread or not responded to, but mostly I have been chatting quite happily, sometimes quite involved and then my latest will go unread, and tumble thereafter. That's just confusing..and I then don't chase as the site warns against it.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have no rules on here tbh. I think it's a losing battle trying to gauge a consensus on any aspect of etiquette/style etc. Just go with the flow, message how and when you want to, but accept whatever outcome you get. I've had many a great chat/meet that didn't take off on the first message, whether that's because the initial one was uninspiring and the follow up was better, I just wasn't in the right zone the first time etc. If someone really doesn't want you re-messaging I imagine they'll block you and solve the problem for you. That said, I doubt anyone responds well to a repeated 'hi' or the like, but it sounds like you mean to people you actually do like and are putting some thought into messages. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Im great full that you can usually see if you have messaged before. Stops you forgetting, and yes we do sometimes overlook who we’ve messaged.
I get the frustration, a response of no thanks is always welcome by most, shame some then respond with I’ll feeling. Can’t take rejection I guess? Fab is quite difficult to navigate through to reach like minded singles or couples, that on the face of it, like each other’s profiles.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I do love balls though
Had a peek at your profile and love your photos would love someone to help me pick some nice things to wear. You have a good eye
Aw thanks. I don’t have many pics up at the moment but they’re mostly from love honey I think x"
That’s where 90% off nine are from. Started April/March time and I’ve already spent like £100 there aha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A couple of months.
I don't mind a bit of persistence, and it shows I'm true to your type (maybe)
You're right in that many women bulk delete messages or that messages get lost in the ether. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
1.no reply is a no
2.no is a no.
If you're struggling with this then fab is not for you and ask another adult to explain 1 and 2.
Try a 3rd time .. blocked |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
By Capital JayFind posts by Capital Jay Man
just this minute!
St Albans
Take a no reply as a reply, i think that would stand true in most cases ... look at something under a magnifying glass hard enough and something can seem bigger than it actually is, no pun intended
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If someone is interested they reply or look for your message, if they haven’t then they are not the right match. I know it’s tempting to think maybe she didn’t see it but if I didn’t stand out initially I won’t bother going back for a second try as attraction has to go both ways for me.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
