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Bad Icebreakers at Swinging Clubs!
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"For example!
"Hi! I'm Tarquin! As its couples night and I didn't get any replies from my meet today post - i'd like to introduce you to my mother!"  "
Not keen on the name old chap, but some of us would be flattered by yer mother. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi my names paul,
I havent been here before, I wasnt sure whether to come tonight, especially as Im still on the antibiotics, but the GUM clinic assures me I'm nearly cleared up!
So, do you fancy going upstairs??
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Fancy a shag?"
"Well as no one else seems to want either of us I agree with them about you" "
I wouldnt say you knew the alphabet to them . . . You would come slightly unstuck ( just so you know, its a, b, c , D not a, b, c, B ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Fancy a shag?"
"Well as no one else seems to want either of us I agree with them about you"
I wouldnt say you knew the alphabet to them . . . You would come slightly unstuck ( just so you know, its a, b, c , D not a, b, c, B )"
Well I wouldn't be so gobby about your reading skills either (seeing as you wish to carry on an argument from another closed Thread). What I actually said was:
"c) If you don't like b) don't dish out what you can't take "
It was a backward referral.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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True one: ...Couple coming down stairs in Chams. get to the bottom and the lady hears her mothers voice say 'What the hell are you two doing here?'
The situation wasn't helped later at the bar when the son in law said to the mother ..'Fancy popping upstairs for a while?'
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"True one: ...Couple coming down stairs in Chams. get to the bottom and the lady hears her mothers voice say 'What the hell are you two doing here?'
The situation wasn't helped later at the bar when the son in law said to the mother ..'Fancy popping upstairs for a while?'
Got to admire him for that? He must have balls of solid granite!
"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You see that absolute stunner over there?
Well i've been pestering her all night and she's finally just told me to fuck off - so you think you could give me a quick BJ to make her jealous?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's not cum on my leg, its wall paper paste - honest
They ran out of cheese for the cheese toasties, so I brought my own
Will you walk me back to my car later, there's a rotweiller outside, and it won't be scared of me ...
So the saying 'if the wind changes direction ...' is really true
Me and mates drew straws to see who could chat you up, I lost and here I am |
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True story at Cupids a good few years ago....
A couple entered an open play room and soon the dozen or so single guys had got into the room too. From a single guys perspective the club had been deadly quiet and there was a palpable tension in the air as the lady started to play with her man.
I was lieing next to them and after a few minutes made eye contact and got the nod to start to join in. Pretty quickly afterwards, most of the other guys had crowded round and the couple was having fun and clearly enjoying the attention.
Then form the doorway, as loud as you like, a guy shouts out "Does she cook too?"
The lady heard this and instantly ended the play, stating loudly that she did, and thanks to the loudmouth the fun was over.
Said Loudmouth was last seen running down the road chased by almost every single guy in Cupids....ok the last sentance is untrue but the guy did leave the club pretty quickly after the incident |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So. Do You come here often?
Get it? Come here often?
It's a swingers club isn't it after all? Ha Ha!
Come here often? Come? COME?
You know? Come? Orgasm?
Oh for fucks sake!!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So. Do You come here often?
Get it? Come here often?
It's a swingers club isn't it after all? Ha Ha!
Come here often? Come? COME?
You know? Come? Orgasm?
Oh for fucks sake!!!! "
I don't get it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"True story at Cupids a good few years ago....
A couple entered an open play room and soon the dozen or so single guys had got into the room too. From a single guys perspective the club had been deadly quiet and there was a palpable tension in the air as the lady started to play with her man.
I was lieing next to them and after a few minutes made eye contact and got the nod to start to join in. Pretty quickly afterwards, most of the other guys had crowded round and the couple was having fun and clearly enjoying the attention.
Then form the doorway, as loud as you like, a guy shouts out "Does she cook too?"
The lady heard this and instantly ended the play, stating loudly that she did, and thanks to the loudmouth the fun was over.
Said Loudmouth was last seen running down the road chased by almost every single guy in Cupids....ok the last sentance is untrue but the guy did leave the club pretty quickly after the incident"
haha i think she was just moody, that sounds pretty funny banter to me, but too much talking about random stuff when they group stuff going down aint for me
but thats one thing ive not liked sometimes at parties, when you get people who just talk about fucking anythign while ur having sex, bit off putting when someones having full conversations about the most meaningless off putting stuff killing the mood lol, im thinking just coz u cum dont mean i should be listening to you talk about football or something else i dont particulary care about right now lol , i much prefer a proper sexy mood |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So. Do You come here often?
Get it? Come here often?
It's a swingers club isn't it after all? Ha Ha!
Come here often? Come? COME?
You know? Come? Orgasm?
Oh for fucks sake!!!!
I don't get it "
Going to the wrong clubs then. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"True story at Cupids a good few years ago....
A couple entered an open play room and soon the dozen or so single guys had got into the room too. From a single guys perspective the club had been deadly quiet and there was a palpable tension in the air as the lady started to play with her man.
I was lieing next to them and after a few minutes made eye contact and got the nod to start to join in. Pretty quickly afterwards, most of the other guys had crowded round and the couple was having fun and clearly enjoying the attention.
Then form the doorway, as loud as you like, a guy shouts out "Does she cook too?"
The lady heard this and instantly ended the play, stating loudly that she did, and thanks to the loudmouth the fun was over.
Said Loudmouth was last seen running down the road chased by almost every single guy in Cupids....ok the last sentance is untrue but the guy did leave the club pretty quickly after the incident
haha i think she was just moody, that sounds pretty funny banter to me, but too much talking about random stuff when they group stuff going down aint for me
but thats one thing ive not liked sometimes at parties, when you get people who just talk about fucking anythign while ur having sex, bit off putting when someones having full conversations about the most meaningless off putting stuff killing the mood lol, im thinking just coz u cum dont mean i should be listening to you talk about football or something else i dont particulary care about right now lol , i much prefer a proper sexy mood"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi! Just wanted to say how gorgeous you look and that I've been watching you for a while now!!
Actually about 6 months - can you you do me a favour and not close your curtains at night - they're too thick to see through! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Excuse me - I just found this butt plug on the floor upstairs - and thought I'd try the 'cinderella' approach to find the owner.
Would you mind bending over please! |
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"So. Do You come here often?
Get it? Come here often?
It's a swingers club isn't it after all? Ha Ha!
Come here often? Come? COME?
You know? Come? Orgasm?
Oh for fucks sake!!!! "
love it, best laugh i have had all day  |
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