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In need of an assistance from a strong intendent woman!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Pretend it's a jar of apple sauce and you've got a hot pork baguette that's in desperate need of that yellow goodness "
I don't even know how to...nope...nope! |
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Waddle over to the mirror.
Pop a sailors hat on, stick a pipe in your mouth and say to yourself "I am Popeye, I have super strength"
Before you know it you'll have a free willy.
And remember, righty tighty, lefty loosey. Make sure you're turning the cunt the right way |
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"Waddle over to the mirror.
Pop a sailors hat on, stick a pipe in your mouth and say to yourself "I am Popeye, I have super strength"
Before you know it you'll have a free willy.
And remember, righty tighty, lefty loosey. Make sure you're turning the cunt the right way "
No, no. Free Willy is a very different thing  |
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"Waddle over to the mirror.
Pop a sailors hat on, stick a pipe in your mouth and say to yourself "I am Popeye, I have super strength"
Before you know it you'll have a free willy.
And remember, righty tighty, lefty loosey. Make sure you're turning the cunt the right way
No, no. Free Willy is a very different thing "
If his cock is anywhere near the size of the thighs I reckon there's a similarity  |
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Blow up a balloon then squeeze the end.
Point the mouth end to the opening of your flashlight and let it open up and it'll blow itself off.
Jesus you normal men are simpletons when your dick is in a comfy pocket |
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"I should clarify my sword isn't sheathed, it's just the plastic bottom end that's stuck "
Are you taking the piss? I thought your cock was welded in ya spanner.
I owe you a damn fine shin kicking |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I should clarify my sword isn't sheathed, it's just the plastic bottom end that's stuck
Are you taking the piss? I thought your cock was welded in ya spanner.
I owe you a damn fine shin kicking "
How could a cock get stuck in a Fleshlight 
Unless you have a bellend that's girthy as a Coke can I suppose |
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"I should clarify my sword isn't sheathed, it's just the plastic bottom end that's stuck
Are you taking the piss? I thought your cock was welded in ya spanner.
I owe you a damn fine shin kicking
How could a cock get stuck in a Fleshlight
Unless you have a bellend that's girthy as a Coke can I suppose "
Oddly enough I've never stuck my dick in one so wouldn't know! I've seen other contraptions used on the old peniiii and I thought "that's gonna rip his fucking foreskin off if he ain't careful"
And ya know.... from your pics you don't look like you're short of cockage |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I should clarify my sword isn't sheathed, it's just the plastic bottom end that's stuck
Are you taking the piss? I thought your cock was welded in ya spanner.
I owe you a damn fine shin kicking
How could a cock get stuck in a Fleshlight
Unless you have a bellend that's girthy as a Coke can I suppose
Oddly enough I've never stuck my dick in one so wouldn't know! I've seen other contraptions used on the old peniiii and I thought "that's gonna rip his fucking foreskin off if he ain't careful"
And ya know.... from your pics you don't look like you're short of cockage "
You made me look at his pictures dam you! |
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"I should clarify my sword isn't sheathed, it's just the plastic bottom end that's stuck
Are you taking the piss? I thought your cock was welded in ya spanner.
I owe you a damn fine shin kicking
How could a cock get stuck in a Fleshlight
Unless you have a bellend that's girthy as a Coke can I suppose
Oddly enough I've never stuck my dick in one so wouldn't know! I've seen other contraptions used on the old peniiii and I thought "that's gonna rip his fucking foreskin off if he ain't careful"
And ya know.... from your pics you don't look like you're short of cockage
You made me look at his pictures dam you! "
Bet you've got a gusset slug now tho  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I should clarify my sword isn't sheathed, it's just the plastic bottom end that's stuck
Are you taking the piss? I thought your cock was welded in ya spanner.
I owe you a damn fine shin kicking
How could a cock get stuck in a Fleshlight
Unless you have a bellend that's girthy as a Coke can I suppose
Oddly enough I've never stuck my dick in one so wouldn't know! I've seen other contraptions used on the old peniiii and I thought "that's gonna rip his fucking foreskin off if he ain't careful"
And ya know.... from your pics you don't look like you're short of cockage
You made me look at his pictures dam you!
Bet you've got a gusset slug now tho "
You crack me up! 
I would carry that on but social distancing and all that jazz. |
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"I should clarify my sword isn't sheathed, it's just the plastic bottom end that's stuck
Are you taking the piss? I thought your cock was welded in ya spanner.
I owe you a damn fine shin kicking
How could a cock get stuck in a Fleshlight
Unless you have a bellend that's girthy as a Coke can I suppose
Oddly enough I've never stuck my dick in one so wouldn't know! I've seen other contraptions used on the old peniiii and I thought "that's gonna rip his fucking foreskin off if he ain't careful"
And ya know.... from your pics you don't look like you're short of cockage
You made me look at his pictures dam you!
Bet you've got a gusset slug now tho
You crack me up!
I would carry that on but social distancing and all that jazz. "
I'm proper tittering |
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"I should clarify my sword isn't sheathed, it's just the plastic bottom end that's stuck
Are you taking the piss? I thought your cock was welded in ya spanner.
I owe you a damn fine shin kicking
How could a cock get stuck in a Fleshlight
Unless you have a bellend that's girthy as a Coke can I suppose
Oddly enough I've never stuck my dick in one so wouldn't know! I've seen other contraptions used on the old peniiii and I thought "that's gonna rip his fucking foreskin off if he ain't careful"
And ya know.... from your pics you don't look like you're short of cockage "
Cockage |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I should clarify my sword isn't sheathed, it's just the plastic bottom end that's stuck
Are you taking the piss? I thought your cock was welded in ya spanner.
I owe you a damn fine shin kicking
How could a cock get stuck in a Fleshlight
Unless you have a bellend that's girthy as a Coke can I suppose
Oddly enough I've never stuck my dick in one so wouldn't know! I've seen other contraptions used on the old peniiii and I thought "that's gonna rip his fucking foreskin off if he ain't careful"
And ya know.... from your pics you don't look like you're short of cockage "
That's clever angles for you  |
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"I should clarify my sword isn't sheathed, it's just the plastic bottom end that's stuck
Are you taking the piss? I thought your cock was welded in ya spanner.
I owe you a damn fine shin kicking
How could a cock get stuck in a Fleshlight
Unless you have a bellend that's girthy as a Coke can I suppose
Oddly enough I've never stuck my dick in one so wouldn't know! I've seen other contraptions used on the old peniiii and I thought "that's gonna rip his fucking foreskin off if he ain't careful"
And ya know.... from your pics you don't look like you're short of cockage
That's clever angles for you "
Same way I look tall in a couple of my pics. I've just got a super low bedroom window |
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"Spray it with polish and wait a few minutes
Is that for the fleshlight or for Morningstar to polish his bellend?!
Now I'm picturing a very shiny bellend "
Being rubbed by a skinny dude in a superhero costume. Mr Muscle to the rescue |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's done!
Used some badwordseed oil and almost dislocated both of my shoulders but it worked
Why didn't you hold it in your melon crushing thighs and saved your shoulders some work? "
I did, it took the effort of both, I'll definitely won't be tightening that again |
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"It's done!
Used some badwordseed oil and almost dislocated both of my shoulders but it worked
Why didn't you hold it in your melon crushing thighs and saved your shoulders some work?
I did, it took the effort of both, I'll definitely won't be tightening that again "
Leave it for a woman to do. If ya want a job doing properly ... chuck it over here. |
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"It's done!
Used some badwordseed oil and almost dislocated both of my shoulders but it worked
Why didn't you hold it in your melon crushing thighs and saved your shoulders some work?
I did, it took the effort of both, I'll definitely won't be tightening that again "
Now you know how us girls feel when you blokes put lids back on super tight or tighten screws to the absolute max. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's done!
Used some badwordseed oil and almost dislocated both of my shoulders but it worked
Why didn't you hold it in your melon crushing thighs and saved your shoulders some work?
I did, it took the effort of both, I'll definitely won't be tightening that again
Now you know how us girls feel when you blokes put lids back on super tight or tighten screws to the absolute max. "
It's because we don't want you stealing our jarred goods |
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"It's done!
Used some badwordseed oil and almost dislocated both of my shoulders but it worked
Why didn't you hold it in your melon crushing thighs and saved your shoulders some work?
I did, it took the effort of both, I'll definitely won't be tightening that again
Now you know how us girls feel when you blokes put lids back on super tight or tighten screws to the absolute max.
It's because we don't want you stealing our jarred goods "
But we love a gob full of shrivelled pickles  |
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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago
'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks |
"It's done!
Used some badwordseed oil and almost dislocated both of my shoulders but it worked
Why didn't you hold it in your melon crushing thighs and saved your shoulders some work?
I did, it took the effort of both, I'll definitely won't be tightening that again "
Phew, thought i was going to have to use the new jigsaw then! |
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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago
Solihull and Brentwood |
"It's done!
Used some badwordseed oil and almost dislocated both of my shoulders but it worked
Why didn't you hold it in your melon crushing thighs and saved your shoulders some work?
I did, it took the effort of both, I'll definitely won't be tightening that again
Phew, thought i was going to have to use the new jigsaw then!"
The one that comes in the cornflakes packet? That one's had me stumped for a month. Though, I will crack it before the BB date, whatever that is. |
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