FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Question shaming
Question shaming
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why is there so much question shaming/bashing going on lately?
I was always told there is no such thing as a silly question.
Such a supposed "open and accepting" community really hasn't been.
Full grown adults being made to feel unwelcome and that they couldn't post what they want for fear of being mocked.
Well most of you won't even show your faces for fear of being mocked or shamed in person for just being on here, because you think others won't agree with you and yet you go attack someone else for the same reasons, shame them for a "weird/unusual" question. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To be honest most forums are the same - regardless of what community it is.
Lots of pyjama keyboard warriors.
"
Yes they are and I get that but you would think one on a site like this would be a little more accepting/understanding |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People are frustrated, irritated, and annoyed by small things. This site just makes the small things feel like personal attacks so people go on the defensive is my take on it.
They want to meet, they can't. They want to have sex, they can't.
The lack of compassion and acceptance is really not new on here - it's just magnified at the moment |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be honest most forums are the same - regardless of what community it is.
Lots of pyjama keyboard warriors.
Yes they are and I get that but you would think one on a site like this would be a little more accepting/understanding"
There's always a rumble, even in groups where there is commonality
Looks at that trans post the other week that had a very 'my version of trans is better than yours' feeling about it
There's always someone willing to put someone else down
It often seems worse here because once one starts, there's usually 3 or 4 others ready to join the party too
It borders on bullying or certainly heads in that direction |
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"Why is there so much question shaming/bashing going on lately?
I was always told there is no such thing as a silly question.
Such a supposed "open and accepting" community really hasn't been.
Full grown adults being made to feel unwelcome and that they couldn't post what they want for fear of being mocked.
Well most of you won't even show your faces for fear of being mocked or shamed in person for just being on here, because you think others won't agree with you and yet you go attack someone else for the same reasons, shame them for a "weird/unusual" question."
I was always told ,
‘You’re not stupid if you don’t know,
But you are stupid if you don’t ask’.
People can be very dismissive if they know something that they think everyone else should know too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why is there so much question shaming/bashing going on lately?
I was always told there is no such thing as a silly question.
Such a supposed "open and accepting" community really hasn't been.
Full grown adults being made to feel unwelcome and that they couldn't post what they want for fear of being mocked.
Well most of you won't even show your faces for fear of being mocked or shamed in person for just being on here, because you think others won't agree with you and yet you go attack someone else for the same reasons, shame them for a "weird/unusual" question."
To be fair asking "why cant i get a meet?" atm
Well frankly, they deserve to be laughed at |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"To be honest most forums are the same - regardless of what community it is.
Lots of pyjama keyboard warriors.
Yes they are and I get that but you would think one on a site like this would be a little more accepting/understanding
There's always a rumble, even in groups where there is commonality
Looks at that trans post the other week that had a very 'my version of trans is better than yours' feeling about it
There's always someone willing to put someone else down
It often seems worse here because once one starts, there's usually 3 or 4 others ready to join the party too
It borders on bullying or certainly heads in that direction "
Yes I remember the trans shaming one very well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why is there so much question shaming/bashing going on lately?
I was always told there is no such thing as a silly question.
Such a supposed "open and accepting" community really hasn't been.
Full grown adults being made to feel unwelcome and that they couldn't post what they want for fear of being mocked.
Well most of you won't even show your faces for fear of being mocked or shamed in person for just being on here, because you think others won't agree with you and yet you go attack someone else for the same reasons, shame them for a "weird/unusual" question."
Must admit its more judgey than I expected, but sod it. If I get mocked I'll just look like a cock and blend in better with some of the cocks on fab.
The only reason why I don't show my face pic publicly is because I have kids, and all their mates who are old enough to be on the site and I don't want them to be embarrassed or ashamed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To be honest most forums are the same - regardless of what community it is.
Lots of pyjama keyboard warriors.
Yes they are and I get that but you would think one on a site like this would be a little more accepting/understanding
There's always a rumble, even in groups where there is commonality
Looks at that trans post the other week that had a very 'my version of trans is better than yours' feeling about it
There's always someone willing to put someone else down
It often seems worse here because once one starts, there's usually 3 or 4 others ready to join the party too
It borders on bullying or certainly heads in that direction "
Some of it is systematic, so in those cases I think it is bullying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To be honest most forums are the same - regardless of what community it is.
Lots of pyjama keyboard warriors.
Yes they are and I get that but you would think one on a site like this would be a little more accepting/understanding
There's always a rumble, even in groups where there is commonality
Looks at that trans post the other week that had a very 'my version of trans is better than yours' feeling about it
There's always someone willing to put someone else down
It often seems worse here because once one starts, there's usually 3 or 4 others ready to join the party too
It borders on bullying or certainly heads in that direction
Yes I remember the trans shaming one very well"
It was a horrible example of it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why is there so much question shaming/bashing going on lately?
I was always told there is no such thing as a silly question.
Such a supposed "open and accepting" community really hasn't been.
Full grown adults being made to feel unwelcome and that they couldn't post what they want for fear of being mocked.
Well most of you won't even show your faces for fear of being mocked or shamed in person for just being on here, because you think others won't agree with you and yet you go attack someone else for the same reasons, shame them for a "weird/unusual" question.
To be fair asking "why cant i get a meet?" atm
Well frankly, they deserve to be laughed at"
Well no they don't. Nobody deserves to be mocked/laughed at or belittled. Report it and move along. No need for nastiness |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why is there so much question shaming/bashing going on lately?
I was always told there is no such thing as a silly question.
Such a supposed "open and accepting" community really hasn't been.
Full grown adults being made to feel unwelcome and that they couldn't post what they want for fear of being mocked.
Well most of you won't even show your faces for fear of being mocked or shamed in person for just being on here, because you think others won't agree with you and yet you go attack someone else for the same reasons, shame them for a "weird/unusual" question.
To be fair asking "why cant i get a meet?" atm
Well frankly, they deserve to be laughed at
Well no they don't. Nobody deserves to be mocked/laughed at or belittled. Report it and move along. No need for nastiness"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why is there so much question shaming/bashing going on lately?
I was always told there is no such thing as a silly question.
Such a supposed "open and accepting" community really hasn't been.
Full grown adults being made to feel unwelcome and that they couldn't post what they want for fear of being mocked.
Well most of you won't even show your faces for fear of being mocked or shamed in person for just being on here, because you think others won't agree with you and yet you go attack someone else for the same reasons, shame them for a "weird/unusual" question.
To be fair asking "why cant i get a meet?" atm
Well frankly, they deserve to be laughed at
Well no they don't. Nobody deserves to be mocked/laughed at or belittled. Report it and move along. No need for nastiness"
No youre right
We should all feel sorry for the poor little loves who havent been able to get their dicks wet
While people are dying around them |
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Some folk on here need to grow up. I have had private messages slating my posts or replies, who have now been blocked.
No one should be made to feel uncomfortable for any reason whatsoever. This is a swingers community we are all curious and explorers looking to delve into the unknown so really no one person on here can take the higher moral ground.
Those who put others others down because of replies or posts should really be ashamed of themselves.
I don't show a face pic on here due to the fact that I work in Education sector and it just wouldn't go down to well if I was spotted on here. Yes it's a free world and we can do what we want but again some don't see it that way.
I am sure the critics will be ready to slate this comment too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
is it me or does every single guy get treated the same ?
I took a chance today and I got insulted to the point where she told me my mother raised me wrong and I have toxic masculinity
honestly I was left speechless because I wasn’t rude to her in anyway I was very respectful and I didn’t harass her or ask why for anything I took her answer for what it was . Is this a common thing on fab because if so I’d rather not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why is there so much question shaming/bashing going on lately?
I was always told there is no such thing as a silly question.
Such a supposed "open and accepting" community really hasn't been.
Full grown adults being made to feel unwelcome and that they couldn't post what they want for fear of being mocked.
Well most of you won't even show your faces for fear of being mocked or shamed in person for just being on here, because you think others won't agree with you and yet you go attack someone else for the same reasons, shame them for a "weird/unusual" question.
To be fair asking "why cant i get a meet?" atm
Well frankly, they deserve to be laughed at
Well no they don't. Nobody deserves to be mocked/laughed at or belittled. Report it and move along. No need for nastiness
No youre right
We should all feel sorry for the poor little loves who havent been able to get their dicks wet
While people are dying around them"
That's why I said to use the report button
You can make your point without belittling someone and causing nastiness across the forum. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Fight fight fight fight fight
I think everyones far too stuffed with bits of dead animal, to be fighting Juciy"
The dead animal was a small portion.
It was the cheese, crackers, cake and mince pies that tipped me over the edge  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When we first joined Fab I was shocked at how judgmental and narrow minded some people can be on the forums. For some reason I thought folk would be more accepting on a swingers site.
However, there’s always a silver lining. It’s proved an invaluable and useful guide to blocking.
There are certain people who continuously post vile replies on threads. When you look at their profile it’s hard to believe they’re the same person. So the forums provide a great insight in some cases.
V |
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"is it me or does every single guy get treated the same ?
I took a chance today and I got insulted to the point where she told me my mother raised me wrong and I have toxic masculinity
honestly I was left speechless because I wasn’t rude to her in anyway I was very respectful and I didn’t harass her or ask why for anything I took her answer for what it was . Is this a common thing on fab because if so I’d rather not "
Report them and block. Nobody should get spoken to in that way. There are plenty decent people on here, they're just hard to find sometimes x |
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It's tragic that much of what is likely to be triggering more of this is also why we should be extra cautious about what and how we post.
I'll generally skip the threads where there's stuff deviating away from the core subject posfed.
We should report everything that doesn't conform to full respect for others, where they are known or unknown to the posters. A high minimum level of respect is always needed here.
As well as reporting, we can also add our bit into a thread, so that the high volumes of our disquiet about inappropriate behaviour gets heard very clearly.
This helps to stop things from escalating and may help to lighten the load for mods too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"is it me or does every single guy get treated the same ?
I took a chance today and I got insulted to the point where she told me my mother raised me wrong and I have toxic masculinity
honestly I was left speechless because I wasn’t rude to her in anyway I was very respectful and I didn’t harass her or ask why for anything I took her answer for what it was . Is this a common thing on fab because if so I’d rather not
Report them and block. Nobody should get spoken to in that way. There are plenty decent people on here, they're just hard to find sometimes x"
to be fair I’m not the type of person to take it to heart plus I’m very optimistic so I don’t block people in case they have a change of heart I’m open to a convo always |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People should post what they want , when they want regardless of what others think .. like me I stay in my own lane on my own journey ... don’t have time for haters ... peace people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve overindulged in vegatarian products thanks to wonderful advice from a good friend. Now I am suffering incomprehensible wind and terrible shits "
You didnt eat enough cabbage |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From what I read, it seems to be that some topics are poorly conceived and presented. Usually leaving folk to work out what is intended. That starts to get fractious.
There was a spate of non contributory threads, no topic, no need to join. Somehow they evolved into some kind of vacuous exchange. |
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"To be honest most forums are the same - regardless of what community it is.
Lots of pyjama keyboard warriors.
Yes they are and I get that but you would think one on a site like this would be a little more accepting/understanding"
I gave up years ago when I had a similar mindset. Nowadays if I happen to see others doing as you describe (and worse, jumping on the bandwagon) I find it really hard not to get cross and tell people what I think off their behaviour. Which ain't a great look, but I've a big gob sometimes which can get ahead of itself.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Really, there are no stupid questions, I beg to differ.
Does it make me bi if I suck a cock ?
Can I ask you a question ?
How many layers of make up are you wearing ?
How much do you weight ?
How old did you say you were, cause I thought you were older ?!
Are you saying we should humour these questions and not say anything ?! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Really, there are no stupid questions, I beg to differ.
Does it make me bi if I suck a cock ?
Can I ask you a question ?
How many layers of make up are you wearing ?
How much do you weight ?
How old did you say you were, cause I thought you were older ?!
Are you saying we should humour these questions and not say anything ?! "
Yes, you think it is stupid....dont humour it and move on. That is EXACTLY what I am saying.
Why is saying something nasty better than ignoring it? |
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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
I think it because the situation were in at the moment , I dont use the forums much at the moment for this reason , some ppl are just ready to pull others apart and there no reason for it , if u think the question stupid , scroll by you dont need to post on it |
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People have been given too much freedom with social media platforms. Many believe that only their opinions count so will argue their case no matter what rather than scroll past something they disagree with. If I don't agree with something I scroll past it's easy to do you don't have to be argumentative just for the sake of it. So NO there are no stupid questions per se just answers that might not be what the original poster is looking for. |
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"People are frustrated, irritated, and annoyed by small things. This site just makes the small things feel like personal attacks so people go on the defensive is my take on it.
They want to meet, they can't. They want to have sex, they can't.
The lack of compassion and acceptance is really not new on here - it's just magnified at the moment"
I Would agree the site also has an influx of new users who don’t understand how swinging or the site works. The forums have also changed dramatically and have driven out regular users leaving a tranch of angry posters |
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I've noticed this, Ivy.
There are a small handful of people on here that seem to be here purely to ridicule folk. It's as if they are enhancing their own supposed superiority by putting others down.
Then their cronies join in.
It needs to stop.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can’t say I’ve experienced it, most people have been welcoming and helpful. In fact I enjoy the random of the forum more than the messages.
Maybe because before I ask a question I have a good look through the forum and 8/10 times it’s already been answered beforehand.
That being said if you’re asking things like ‘why is nobody meeting right now’ or ‘why is nobody responding to my one word messages’ then it’s probably deserved.
This is the internet. If you don’t want to open yourself up to everyone, don’t write. And if you don’t like what they write, don’t read it. Not being offended isn’t a birthright. |
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"I can’t say I’ve experienced it, most people have been welcoming and helpful. In fact I enjoy the random of the forum more than the messages.
Maybe because before I ask a question I have a good look through the forum and 8/10 times it’s already been answered beforehand.
That being said if you’re asking things like ‘why is nobody meeting right now’ or ‘why is nobody responding to my one word messages’ then it’s probably deserved.
This is the internet. If you don’t want to open yourself up to everyone, don’t write. And if you don’t like what they write, don’t read it. Not being offended isn’t a birthright."
Most people on here ARE lovely, Rosie. I've got some wonderful friends on here. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can’t say I’ve experienced it, most people have been welcoming and helpful. In fact I enjoy the random of the forum more than the messages.
Maybe because before I ask a question I have a good look through the forum and 8/10 times it’s already been answered beforehand.
That being said if you’re asking things like ‘why is nobody meeting right now’ or ‘why is nobody responding to my one word messages’ then it’s probably deserved.
This is the internet. If you don’t want to open yourself up to everyone, don’t write. And if you don’t like what they write, don’t read it. Not being offended isn’t a birthright."
That's fair |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Really, there are no stupid questions, I beg to differ.
Does it make me bi if I suck a cock ?
Can I ask you a question ?
How many layers of make up are you wearing ?
How much do you weight ?
How old did you say you were, cause I thought you were older ?!
Are you saying we should humour these questions and not say anything ?!
Yes, you think it is stupid....dont humour it and move on. That is EXACTLY what I am saying.
Why is saying something nasty better than ignoring it?"
Those aren’t the only options available, not everything is one extreme or the other, life is full of subtle shades of grey in between. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are questions people ask on here just to trigger people, not because they genuinely want an answer....those questions (in my opinion) are stupid and sometimes shameful.
I also believe there is a culture on here where people have started to believe their own hype and bullshit and therefore put others down but scream bullying when its turned around.
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"There are questions people ask on here just to trigger people, not because they genuinely want an answer....those questions (in my opinion) are stupid and sometimes shameful.
I also believe there is a culture on here where people have started to believe their own hype and bullshit and therefore put others down but scream bullying when its turned around.
"
Nail on the head there - I *do* think it's got better lately but it still happens - often the question is dressed up as "just pondering/curious" but it's usually fairly obvious there's more to it than that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m assuming this thread meant questions asked in the forum, and not questions asked in private messages?
Because some of the questions I get PM’d are downright laughable and deserve to be outed.
In fact... I am going to start another thread for those... just for funsies  |
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"I’m assuming this thread meant questions asked in the forum, and not questions asked in private messages?
Because some of the questions I get PM’d are downright laughable and deserve to be outed.
In fact... I am going to start another thread for those... just for funsies "
I wouldnt unless you want a forum ban.
You're not allowed to quote messages you receive  |
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"There are questions people ask on here just to trigger people, not because they genuinely want an answer....those questions (in my opinion) are stupid and sometimes shameful.
I also believe there is a culture on here where people have started to believe their own hype and bullshit and therefore put others down but scream bullying when its turned around.
"
This ^ so many don’t realise how hypocritical they are from one thread to the other |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To be honest most forums are the same - regardless of what community it is.
Lots of pyjama keyboard warriors.
Yes they are and I get that but you would think one on a site like this would be a little more accepting/understanding"
Why would you think this? I don’t think you can assume that at all. |
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I personally believe that anyone should be able to post whatever they want, as long as it's within site rules. That includes replies and opinions that I don't necessarily agree with...it's not my right at all to say what opinion others should hold.
If you see something that you don't like just scroll past, report it if you feel it necessary and let the mods make that decision...or question someone's response in a respectful manner if you don't understand their post or the intention behind it. |
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"There are questions people ask on here just to trigger people, not because they genuinely want an answer....those questions (in my opinion) are stupid and sometimes shameful.
I also believe there is a culture on here where people have started to believe their own hype and bullshit and therefore put others down but scream bullying when its turned around.
"
This is so true. You see people jump on the "be kind" and anti bullying posts but then in the next breath follow others around the forums making nasty comments in pairs or groups until the person they're targeting is hounded away at least for a while. Its not pleasant to watch. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"There are questions people ask on here just to trigger people, not because they genuinely want an answer....those questions (in my opinion) are stupid and sometimes shameful.
I also believe there is a culture on here where people have started to believe their own hype and bullshit and therefore put others down but scream bullying when its turned around.
This is so true. You see people jump on the "be kind" and anti bullying posts but then in the next breath follow others around the forums making nasty comments in pairs or groups until the person they're targeting is hounded away at least for a while. Its not pleasant to watch. "
|
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I personally believe that anyone should be able to post whatever they want, as long as it's within site rules. That includes replies and opinions that I don't necessarily agree with...it's not my right at all to say what opinion others should hold.
If you see something that you don't like just scroll past, report it if you feel it necessary and let the mods make that decision...or question someone's response in a respectful manner if you don't understand their post or the intention behind it. "
As ever in complete agreement - too often a different opinion is seen as many things that it actually isn't and taken as a reason to go on the attack or seen as a reason to cry "foul" in some way rather than respectfully querying/challenging it |
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"There are questions people ask on here just to trigger people, not because they genuinely want an answer....those questions (in my opinion) are stupid and sometimes shameful.
I also believe there is a culture on here where people have started to believe their own hype and bullshit and therefore put others down but scream bullying when its turned around.
This is so true. You see people jump on the "be kind" and anti bullying posts but then in the next breath follow others around the forums making nasty comments in pairs or groups until the person they're targeting is hounded away at least for a while. Its not pleasant to watch. "
Exactly this and it’s happening more and more often. To many people (and it is usually blokes) get shot down or laughed at by the usual regulars and no doubt feel like not posting anything again. Such a shame as the majority of people I’ve spoken to on here are sound. |
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I'll openly hold my hands up and say I'll jump the fuck on people who ask stuff like "why so much hate for cheats?"
That for me is a mega trigger and I want them to know the damage that shit causes. Sometimes it's as simple as inviting them to read my profile and I leave it there, but I feel compelled to at least try to see it from a different side. |
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Can I just sarcastically say that nothing triggers me 
What i really hate about Fab is that it seems to be wrong to defend yourself even if morally or legally you're in the right. (Bigots shouldn't rule) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I just sarcastically say that nothing triggers me
What i really hate about Fab is that it seems to be wrong to defend yourself even if morally or legally you're in the right. (Bigots shouldn't rule) "
Absolutely
Bigotry is my red rag
Blatant disrespect for women is up there too
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By *innMan
over a year ago
edinburgh |
"To be honest most forums are the same - regardless of what community it is.
Lots of pyjama keyboard warriors.
"
This is true - unhappy people attack from behind the safety of a keyboard. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What about questions that could so very easily be Googled?
What about questions that are very obviously being asked in bad faith? "
All questions can be googled, so that would be like saying "why ask anything on a forum" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What about questions that could so very easily be Googled?
What about questions that are very obviously being asked in bad faith?
All questions can be googled, so that would be like saying "why ask anything on a forum""
Agreed, I think sometimes people want to engage with others in real time not a search engine. Especially over lockdown, it is nicer to interact with others, it can make the lonely feel more connected |
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"What about questions that could so very easily be Googled?
What about questions that are very obviously being asked in bad faith?
All questions can be googled, so that would be like saying "why ask anything on a forum""
With all due respect, I disagree.
"Hey, what's your personal experience of [thing]?" = Fine question to ask on a forum.
"What's an incel?" = Erm, do I look like a search engine to you?
And then there's the bad-faith questions. This forum is *rife* with people "JAQing off".
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"What about questions that could so very easily be Googled?
What about questions that are very obviously being asked in bad faith?
All questions can be googled, so that would be like saying "why ask anything on a forum"
With all due respect, I disagree.
"Hey, what's your personal experience of [thing]?" = Fine question to ask on a forum.
"What's an incel?" = Erm, do I look like a search engine to you?
And then there's the bad-faith questions. This forum is *rife* with people "JAQing off".
"
Whilst I agree that there are times I think "you could have Googled that" I try and think of it as no different from having a conversation in the real world where someone uses a term you're unfamiliar with and you naturally ask "what's that?" rather than stopping the conversation to Google it.
And sometimes the plethora of different answers Google provides doesn't always make things any clearer either
For example I had no clue what you meant by "JAQing off" so Googled it and am still none the wiser despite looking at entries from Urban Dictionary, various TLA sites and more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What about questions that could so very easily be Googled?
What about questions that are very obviously being asked in bad faith?
All questions can be googled, so that would be like saying "why ask anything on a forum"
With all due respect, I disagree.
"Hey, what's your personal experience of [thing]?" = Fine question to ask on a forum.
"What's an incel?" = Erm, do I look like a search engine to you?
And then there's the bad-faith questions. This forum is *rife* with people "JAQing off".
Whilst I agree that there are times I think "you could have Googled that" I try and think of it as no different from having a conversation in the real world where someone uses a term you're unfamiliar with and you naturally ask "what's that?" rather than stopping the conversation to Google it.
And sometimes the plethora of different answers Google provides doesn't always make things any clearer either
For example I had no clue what you meant by "JAQing off" so Googled it and am still none the wiser despite looking at entries from Urban Dictionary, various TLA sites and more"
Is JAQing off like FAQing off only you are FAQing yourself? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is there so much question shaming/bashing going on lately?
I was always told there is no such thing as a silly question.
Such a supposed "open and accepting" community really hasn't been.
Full grown adults being made to feel unwelcome and that they couldn't post what they want for fear of being mocked.
Well most of you won't even show your faces for fear of being mocked or shamed in person for just being on here, because you think others won't agree with you and yet you go attack someone else for the same reasons, shame them for a "weird/unusual" question."
Because people are evil? I don't know to be honest but I agree that people should be able to ask anything without fear of being ridiculed. I'm lucky enough to have some good friends that I can ask all the "stupid" questions too , I wouldn't ask in here anymore. I have done in the past, some people can be really lovely and give proper answers etc but some people are just twats about it.
I won't show my face because I don't want to be recognised when I'm out with my children and I don't trust people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What about questions that could so very easily be Googled?
What about questions that are very obviously being asked in bad faith?
All questions can be googled, so that would be like saying "why ask anything on a forum"
With all due respect, I disagree.
"Hey, what's your personal experience of [thing]?" = Fine question to ask on a forum.
"What's an incel?" = Erm, do I look like a search engine to you?
And then there's the bad-faith questions. This forum is *rife* with people "JAQing off".
"
Conversation and debate should be banned. Cull the forums, no need for chat. Just fuck in silence and leave. |
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By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
Although I had a bit of a bashing on here myelf, all forums of all descriptions have some form of shaming/bullying, I find this site relatively more mature than others, there are some evil women over on bang buddies, only encountered nice people on here mostly so far. |
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"Although I had a bit of a bashing on here myelf, all forums of all descriptions have some form of shaming/bullying, I find this site relatively more mature than others, there are some evil women over on bang buddies, only encountered nice people on here mostly so far."
Yes, I read your thread and all those judging you. Folk love to judge "cheats" on here. |
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It makes for uncomfortable reading sometimes. Lots of mean comments that are just designed to be hurtful.
But I don’t agree there’s no such thing as a silly question. ‘Do you want a Chinese?’ Is a silly question. The answer is always going to be ‘yes, obviously I want a Chinese.’ |
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"Whilst I agree that there are times I think "you could have Googled that" I try and think of it as no different from having a conversation in the real world where someone uses a term you're unfamiliar with and you naturally ask "what's that?" rather than stopping the conversation to Google it."
I legitimately do that. Better than going round and round in circles being wrong about something.
"I had no clue what you meant by "JAQing off" so Googled it and am still none the wiser despite looking at entries from Urban Dictionary, various TLA sites and more"
From RationalWiki. Literally my top Google result for "JAQing off":
"Just asking questions (also known as JAQing off) is a way of attempting to make wild accusations acceptable (and hopefully not legally actionable) by framing them as questions rather than statements. It shifts the burden of proof to one's opponent; rather than laboriously having to prove that all politicians are reptoid scum, one can pull out one single odd piece of evidence and force the opponent to explain why the evidence is wrong.
"The tactic is closely related to loaded questions or leading questions (which are usually employed when using it), Gish Gallops (when asking a huge number of rapid-fire questions without regard for the answers) and Argumentum ad nauseam (when asking the same question over and over in an attempt to overwhelm refutations)." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" JAQing off. The act of asking leading questions to influence your audience, then hiding behind the defense that they're "Just Asking ...
according to Urban "
Oh i wondered what the hell this was, thanks for the explanation! |
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" JAQing off. The act of asking leading questions to influence your audience, then hiding behind the defense that they're "Just Asking ...
according to Urban "
This happens quite a lot...its funny when you see it coming though |
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"To be honest most forums are the same - regardless of what community it is.
Lots of pyjama keyboard warriors.
Yes they are and I get that but you would think one on a site like this would be a little more accepting/understanding"
Why would you expect that? Not having a go just curious as I find it odd that people expect some special breed of person on an internet site, opposed to the usual mixed bag of individuals. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" JAQing off. The act of asking leading questions to influence your audience, then hiding behind the defense that they're "Just Asking ...
according to Urban
This happens quite a lot...its funny when you see it coming though "
AKA drama, so i tend to ignore majority of those threads  |
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"Why is there so much question shaming/bashing going on lately?
I was always told there is no such thing as a silly question.
Such a supposed "open and accepting" community really hasn't been.
Full grown adults being made to feel unwelcome and that they couldn't post what they want for fear of being mocked.
Well most of you won't even show your faces for fear of being mocked or shamed in person for just being on here, because you think others won't agree with you and yet you go attack someone else for the same reasons, shame them for a "weird/unusual" question.
I was always told ,
‘You’re not stupid if you don’t know,
But you are stupid if you don’t ask’.
People can be very dismissive if they know something that they think everyone else should know too. "
Let's be honest though, some questions posted, a quick google search would have given the answer. Doesn't mean you have to publicly make the person look stupid. |
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" JAQing off. The act of asking leading questions to influence your audience, then hiding behind the defense that they're "Just Asking ...
according to Urban
This happens quite a lot...its funny when you see it coming though
AKA drama, so i tend to ignore majority of those threads "
Me too....it happens though so I just play dumb |
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By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
"Although I had a bit of a bashing on here myelf, all forums of all descriptions have some form of shaming/bullying, I find this site relatively more mature than others, there are some evil women over on bang buddies, only encountered nice people on here mostly so far.
Yes, I read your thread and all those judging you. Folk love to judge "cheats" on here. "
I indeed may have deserved it and I feel so reasured that there are people on here that live with very high morals and have lived a fault free life that are able to guide us lost causes and evil ones and put us in our place |
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"Although I had a bit of a bashing on here myelf, all forums of all descriptions have some form of shaming/bullying, I find this site relatively more mature than others, there are some evil women over on bang buddies, only encountered nice people on here mostly so far.
Yes, I read your thread and all those judging you. Folk love to judge "cheats" on here.
I indeed may have deserved it and I feel so reasured that there are people on here that live with very high morals and have lived a fault free life that are able to guide us lost causes and evil ones and put us in our place"
See now that's just goading as far as I'm concerned.
Yes, I will judge as I've been on the receiving end of that behaviour, and I'll invite you to take a read of my profile to see the damage that an be caused.
One thing I won't do however is profess to be a faultless blameless human over the 43 years I've been alive. That would be utterly ridiculous and utter bullshit. |
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"Although I had a bit of a bashing on here myelf, all forums of all descriptions have some form of shaming/bullying, I find this site relatively more mature than others, there are some evil women over on bang buddies, only encountered nice people on here mostly so far.
Yes, I read your thread and all those judging you. Folk love to judge "cheats" on here.
I indeed may have deserved it and I feel so reasured that there are people on here that live with very high morals and have lived a fault free life that are able to guide us lost causes and evil ones and put us in our place"
Yes, comforting is it not? |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
" JAQing off. The act of asking leading questions to influence your audience, then hiding behind the defense that they're "Just Asking ...
according to Urban "
You obviously Google better than I GC *tips hat* |
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I wouldn’t say it is more than ever.
There are questions that ask things in a way to gain insight or an answer to an issue.
Then there are the questions asked in here that include veiled judgments and other unpleasantness. These are fair game in my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Noticed you have to caveat and set your stall out defensively with every question lately to head off the inevitable please explain shirtiness.
That and run it through spellcheck. "
A well-framed, well-intentioned question does not normally need a defensive stall laying out. I think the difficulty comes with bald inquiries, that are frequently weaponised as a strategy. They leave the frame open to guesswork and lots of different interpretations of motive. I can understand in the latter case why people might respond defensively themselves. |
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"Noticed you have to caveat and set your stall out defensively with every question lately to head off the inevitable please explain shirtiness.
That and run it through spellcheck.
A well-framed, well-intentioned question does not normally need a defensive stall laying out. I think the difficulty comes with bald inquiries, that are frequently weaponised as a strategy. They leave the frame open to guesswork and lots of different interpretations of motive. I can understand in the latter case why people might respond defensively themselves."
With the best will in the world some people cannot frame a question in that way for numerous reasons. Because English isn’t my first language I’m always falling foul of it in my replies. I also have a an issue that makes me unable to convey what I want to sometimes.
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swear there are those on the virus forum who simply post to start a fight by simply "JAQing" (that was a new one to me today btw)
mind you on many of them the OP drops the question and never comments again, not sure what that signifies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Noticed you have to caveat and set your stall out defensively with every question lately to head off the inevitable please explain shirtiness.
That and run it through spellcheck.
A well-framed, well-intentioned question does not normally need a defensive stall laying out. I think the difficulty comes with bald inquiries, that are frequently weaponised as a strategy. They leave the frame open to guesswork and lots of different interpretations of motive. I can understand in the latter case why people might respond defensively themselves.
With the best will in the world some people cannot frame a question in that way for numerous reasons. Because English isn’t my first language I’m always falling foul of it in my replies. I also have a an issue that makes me unable to convey what I want to sometimes.
"
I think you do a bloody good job. I would never have guessed English wasn’t your native tongue if you hadn’t said so. |
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"Noticed you have to caveat and set your stall out defensively with every question lately to head off the inevitable please explain shirtiness.
That and run it through spellcheck.
A well-framed, well-intentioned question does not normally need a defensive stall laying out. I think the difficulty comes with bald inquiries, that are frequently weaponised as a strategy. They leave the frame open to guesswork and lots of different interpretations of motive. I can understand in the latter case why people might respond defensively themselves.
With the best will in the world some people cannot frame a question in that way for numerous reasons. Because English isn’t my first language I’m always falling foul of it in my replies. I also have a an issue that makes me unable to convey what I want to sometimes.
I think you do a bloody good job. I would never have guessed English wasn’t your native tongue if you hadn’t said so."
Thank you. |
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