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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do people find the word 'fat' to be offensive? Because I'd really hate to come across as rude. I've tried to express my preference (well requirement) in numerous other ways, but seems not being very specific leads to misinterpretation.
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Depends on how it's used and what it's paired up with.
As a descriptor it's fine. I am a fat woman for example and I would be fine with someone using it that way when describing me. I mean it's unimaginative and basic in terms of describing me but accurate none the less.
but when used in a way that is knowingly offensive or abusive I have a bit of an issue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I’m fat, have lots of it it’s a fact not an insult but I’m thick skinned Doesnt bother me in the slightest but I wouldn’t use it to describe somebody else who had extra weight or who was “curvy” as it’s a little insensitive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Noone is actually fat they just have fat in varying degrees so personally think noone should actually be described as "fat" dimples "
Whoops too much Christmas cheer here meant simples* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Phat a term in the US I get told all the time I got a Phat ass. What's the difference ?
It’s an abbreviation for Pretty Hot And Thick"
But I not thick wish I was . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Phat a term in the US I get told all the time I got a Phat ass. What's the difference ?
It’s an abbreviation for Pretty Hot And Thick
But I not thick wish I was ."
It can be Pretty Hot and Tempting, so it could be that one they mean. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I actually had an interesting conversation about this just last night!
I guess I’ve felt like it is massively offensive, but only when I aim it towards myself. I’d never dream of calling anyone else fat, but I’d insult myself with it when I’m having a bad body dysmorphia day.
It’s a horrible word because for so many people it carries negative connotations. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Depends on how it's used and what it's paired up with.
As a descriptor it's fine. I am a fat woman for example and I would be fine with someone using it that way when describing me. I mean it's unimaginative and basic in terms of describing me but accurate none the less.
but when used in a way that is knowingly offensive or abusive I have a bit of an issue. "
Can you recommend another term to get my point across then please, I've tried large, curvy, plus size, and can I just say (I'm not into women) but you look great |
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Grouping together the ladies on here that have posted so far , I don’t think any of you are Fat . More well covered and comfortable . Your photos are all well thought out and showing lovely curves . Don’t knock your body shape . I prefer to stick thin . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I actually had an interesting conversation about this just last night!
I guess I’ve felt like it is massively offensive, but only when I aim it towards myself. I’d never dream of calling anyone else fat, but I’d insult myself with it when I’m having a bad body dysmorphia day.
It’s a horrible word because for so many people it carries negative connotations. X "
I get your point, when I was extra large I'd probably of felt it an offensive term (despite being true) I've tried to find the most non offensive way to get my desire across for years, so just looking for advice on how to express it without offending |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Phat a term in the US I get told all the time I got a Phat ass. What's the difference ?
It’s an abbreviation for Pretty Hot And Thick
But I not thick wish I was .
It can be Pretty Hot and Tempting, so it could be that one they mean."
I put on 20 pounds just to seem thick. No offense to the beautiful thick women on fab. It's just that we get self absorbed in a certain image that is socially acceptable. I ate a 3000 calorie a day diet just to get where I am. Phat fat drives me nuts. You have one spectrum and the other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Grouping together the ladies on here that have posted so far , I don’t think any of you are Fat . More well covered and comfortable . Your photos are all well thought out and showing lovely curves . Don’t knock your body shape . I prefer to stick thin . "
Well covered , I like that term, like extra padding |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fat as always had a negative notion. However I have weight on me, I have fat just like I have blonde hair and blue eyes.
And as someone else posted i know what caused it, I know how to lose it but having fat doesn't take away from the person. |
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"Depends on how it's used and what it's paired up with.
As a descriptor it's fine. I am a fat woman for example and I would be fine with someone using it that way when describing me. I mean it's unimaginative and basic in terms of describing me but accurate none the less.
but when used in a way that is knowingly offensive or abusive I have a bit of an issue.
Can you recommend another term to get my point across then please, I've tried large, curvy, plus size, and can I just say (I'm not into women) but you look great "
Why thank you 
It's difficult because there doesn't seem to be a widely recognised term for bigger men. Some say fluffy, BHM (the male version of bbw but as some have said on here, that's not always a well received term either), chunky etc.
It might help to identify some well known men you're attracted to so people can visualise what you are in to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never choose despite someone else as fat. And to be honest I don't understand why anyone would describe themselves as fat.
Fat is not a body type as fat is something you have not something you are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Grouping together the ladies on here that have posted so far , I don’t think any of you are Fat . More well covered and comfortable . Your photos are all well thought out and showing lovely curves . Don’t knock your body shape . I prefer to stick thin . "
The OP is referring to the type of men she wants to meet, not her own shape. Oh and the term ‘stick thin’ is Derogatory, the word you’re looking for is slim, svelte or petite, take your pick. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Grouping together the ladies on here that have posted so far , I don’t think any of you are Fat . More well covered and comfortable . Your photos are all well thought out and showing lovely curves . Don’t knock your body shape . I prefer to stick thin .
The OP is referring to the type of men she wants to meet, not her own shape. Oh and the term ‘stick thin’ is Derogatory, the word you’re looking for is slim, svelte or petite, take your pick. "
Funny how you picked up on that word and then suggested several others you deem more appropriate but didn't do the same for the fat. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Can I just say, I'm not using fat as a derogatory term far from it, all I'm asking is for a non offensive way to say my only preference is extra large guys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I just say, I'm not using fat as a derogatory term far from it, all I'm asking is for a non offensive way to say my only preference is extra large guys"
I think the problem is that it has a lot of negative connotations for people so i think that whatever the intention it's possibly a word to avoid especially when trying to describe someone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I just say, I'm not using fat as a derogatory term far from it, all I'm asking is for a non offensive way to say my only preference is extra large guys"
Husky lol idk sounds so much nicer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Grouping together the ladies on here that have posted so far , I don’t think any of you are Fat . More well covered and comfortable . Your photos are all well thought out and showing lovely curves . Don’t knock your body shape . I prefer to stick thin .
The OP is referring to the type of men she wants to meet, not her own shape. Oh and the term ‘stick thin’ is Derogatory, the word you’re looking for is slim, svelte or petite, take your pick.
Funny how you picked up on that word and then suggested several others you deem more appropriate but didn't do the same for the fat."
Funny how you asked me not to reply and quote you, but you reply and quote me, please don’t reply on my posts anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do people find the word 'fat' to be offensive? Because I'd really hate to come across as rude. I've tried to express my preference (well requirement) in numerous other ways, but seems not being very specific leads to misinterpretation.
"
The way you use it on your profile aounds fine to me. If they don't like it you're not compatible.
Doesn't really matter what you put, some will mail you even if they don't fit your request. |
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Fat fat fatttty mc fat fat  it literally is a descriptive word. Maybe to raw and basic for snowflakes to describe a layer or in my case mass rolls of excess flesh. It’s become a negative word because of media and the diet industry and I feel I’ve spent more than half my life trying to trying to change peoples mindset to a simple discription ...like he’s tall she’s short.
I am FAT is describes me but it does not define me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fat fat fatttty mc fat fat it literally is a descriptive word. Maybe to raw and basic for snowflakes to describe a layer or in my case mass rolls of excess flesh. It’s become a negative word because of media and the diet industry and I feel I’ve spent more than half my life trying to trying to change peoples mindset to a simple discription ...like he’s tall she’s short.
I am FAT is describes me but it does not define me. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Grouping together the ladies on here that have posted so far , I don’t think any of you are Fat . More well covered and comfortable . Your photos are all well thought out and showing lovely curves . Don’t knock your body shape . I prefer to stick thin .
The OP is referring to the type of men she wants to meet, not her own shape. Oh and the term ‘stick thin’ is Derogatory, the word you’re looking for is slim, svelte or petite, take your pick.
Funny how you picked up on that word and then suggested several others you deem more appropriate but didn't do the same for the fat.
Funny how you asked me not to reply and quote you, but you reply and quote me, please don’t reply on my posts anymore. "
Play nice both of you it is Xmas after all., even the Germans had a truce on Xmas day  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm fat and I've no problem with it being used as part of an accurate description of my physical appearance.
However if it's used with malice with the intention of insulting me, to cause me hurt or emotional pain that's a whole other story |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Fat fat fatttty mc fat fat it literally is a descriptive word. Maybe to raw and basic for snowflakes to describe a layer or in my case mass rolls of excess flesh. It’s become a negative word because of media and the diet industry and I feel I’ve spent more than half my life trying to trying to change peoples mindset to a simple discription ...like he’s tall she’s short.
I am FAT is describes me but it does not define me. "
I'm not attracted to women, but would like to find a male equivalent to yourself. And I just wished I'd had your confidence when I was a very large bird, you rock it |
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I don’t really see how it can be misinterpreted fat is fat, it’s not offensive in the way you have used it, curvy is confusing as it gets used with women from size 8 who are blessed to maybe a size 22! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Grouping together the ladies on here that have posted so far , I don’t think any of you are Fat . More well covered and comfortable . Your photos are all well thought out and showing lovely curves . Don’t knock your body shape . I prefer to stick thin .
The OP is referring to the type of men she wants to meet, not her own shape. Oh and the term ‘stick thin’ is Derogatory, the word you’re looking for is slim, svelte or petite, take your pick.
Funny how you picked up on that word and then suggested several others you deem more appropriate but didn't do the same for the fat.
Funny how you asked me not to reply and quote you, but you reply and quote me, please don’t reply on my posts anymore.
Play nice both of you it is Xmas after all., even the Germans had a truce on Xmas day "
I think you will find I was perfectly pleasant  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the term "fat" seems to have negative connotations attached to it, perhaps due to it being added before an insult rather than being used as a descriptive term.
I don't feel comfortable calling someone fat, but can't think of anything more appropriate to describe a more heavy-set person  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Doesn't bother me in the slightest
It is a descriptive, but we attach so many negative connotations to it that it has become one of those 'taboo' words
If you are worried about wording you could always say things like 'looking for guys with a 36" waist or bigger' or 'looking for guys with plenty of meat on their bones' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Guys often refer to my arse as huge or fat. I don't like it. My abusive ex partner used to call me such things as 'fat lazy cow' 'fat arse' 'fat lazy arse' so getting called fat takes me straight back to those times. |
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
"Do people find the word 'fat' to be offensive? Because I'd really hate to come across as rude. I've tried to express my preference (well requirement) in numerous other ways, but seems not being very specific leads to misinterpretation.
"
You have used the term “extra large” to describe your preference a couple of times on this thread. Perhaps that is less offensive?
Other suggestions: Hefty, Gargantuan or thickset maybe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys often refer to my arse as huge or fat. I don't like it. My abusive ex partner used to call me such things as 'fat lazy cow' 'fat arse' 'fat lazy arse' so getting called fat takes me straight back to those times."
I'm really sorry to hear that and I think that's why we need to be careful with those kinds of words. Loads of people on this thread have said they're completely fine with being called fat as a descriptive word but it doesn't mean it's a blanket opinion as there will be more than a few who aren't fine with it at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Phat a term in the US I get told all the time I got a Phat ass. What's the difference ?
It’s an abbreviation for Pretty Hot And Thick"
Every day's a school day! |
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"Grouping together the ladies on here that have posted so far , I don’t think any of you are Fat . More well covered and comfortable . Your photos are all well thought out and showing lovely curves . Don’t knock your body shape . I prefer to stick thin .
The OP is referring to the type of men she wants to meet, not her own shape. Oh and the term ‘stick thin’ is Derogatory, the word you’re looking for is slim, svelte or petite, take your pick.
Funny how you picked up on that word and then suggested several others you deem more appropriate but didn't do the same for the fat."
To be fair to City (and I’m saying this as someone who has a genuine fondness for both of you) - there are - and have always been (since I joined anyway) countless threads extolling the virtues/attractiveness of the larger lady with innumerable positive descriptive adjectives.
‘Stick thin’ was the only insulting remark made on here and is just as unacceptable as any derogatory remark made about overweight people. Had City not picked up on it I would’ve done myself.
Hugs to both of you - and the rest of the forums.
Peachy xxx |
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"Phat a term in the US I get told all the time I got a Phat ass. What's the difference ?
It’s an abbreviation for Pretty Hot And Thick"
Thick as in stupid? Or thick as in meaty/well covered?
The latter would make more sense imo. |
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Think it's one of those that comes to how the word is actually used. Like for example ginger to me can be used in lovely ways or in quite horrid ways also. I carry extra fat at the moment, I'm alright with that. Someone calling me a fat cow not so good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me personally find all woman attractive, I’ve been with both slim and large woman, and what eventually makes the woman sexy is her personality, so big thumbs up for the larger lady. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think its easier to use the word you want to use....I think we're old enough to not be upset by words? Plus why beat about the Bush...you only get so many trips round the sun |
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"Just use curvy or athletic instead. Everyone else does. "
Nope I have myself as ample on here, even though I have big boobs and a rounded bum. Because I didn't want people saying I was using curvy instead of fat. |
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Hello O.P. Just a thought. Trying to be helpful, cos that's me from head to toe......
Howabout you find a pic of someone famous who gets your interest or vote..... and say ..... blah blah blah blah that have the same body type as........ thingy do dahhhh or so and so whotsit.... no smaller.
Done. |
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