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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My question is that do you find it off putting when you learn or reveal of your sexual partners previous history with other men or women or does this not bother you? Maybe it has the opposite effect and serves to bond you stronger to that person(I imagine this not to be the case for anyone). |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Unless it was something that would completely change the way I feel about someone, not only sexually but in terms of my overall perception and way of thinking about that person, their past sexual history would have absolutely no bearing for me - to the point that I'd consider it none of my business unless they chose to tell me without me asking, which I'd certainly not be doing.
Doesn't have any impact on me what they have done or who they have been with in the past, the fact they were with me at that moment in time would be the only thing that counts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The past is the past. I don’t really want to hear about their conquests or have a cosy conversation about mine.  "
Awww! You promised to tell me all the juicy details!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The past is the past. I don’t really want to hear about their conquests or have a cosy conversation about mine.
Awww! You promised to tell me all the juicy details! "
Perhaps next time when I’m very d*unk  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tis a tricky one for me. Due to my own insecurities and mental health issues. I think/thought it wouldnt ever bother me, even thought I'd like to hear it. It's the past, has nothing to do with me and should have no bearing on me. But in the past I've struggled with knowing. So in general I'd rather just leave the past where it belongs and not know.
J  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I ask for a signed declaration of any previous sexual partners and experiences with a rating out of 100 on the overall satisfaction felt by any potential new meets.
It’s always best to know what your gonna be compared to beforehand.
I don’t have a problem with it as long as they were rated under 78.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do like to hear of exploits yes it helps me bond a bit more with them especially if it was a weird or funny encounter. Not talking indiscretions and wanting to know everyone on fab they may have met but long since past things. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Most vanilla men (that is, men who aren’t on Fab) tend to get a bit arsey if they hear you’ve had sex before - so I tend not to mention it.
I don’t want to hear about their past sexploits either because they ALWAYS mention someone who was amazing at some random sexual act. And that is just going to be me thinking of it every time we have the sex. And stewing. And getting arsey. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, if it helps me know them better and what they enjoy. We all very likely have a sexual past so that in itself shouldn't be a surprise or cause of shame. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As long as it didn't turn out to be a constant "there was this one time, at band camp..."
Everyone has a past, perhaps its best left there out of respect. |
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I (Luke) never had a problem being completely open about my sexual history with a partner. Hannah and I know about each other's. I know about her first blow job. She knows about a threesome I had. It's all history. There is no reason for it to have a negative impact on our relationship and it can be quite interesting. Sometimes it's even a turn-on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It pretty much always puts me off. That's why I won't meet anyone with more than 4 public veris.
I don't care if they've met 2 people or 2,000, I just don't want to know any details at all. |
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The amount of partners someone has had wouldnt put me off nor do anything for me.
Its what they do with me and if it's an ongoing thing then honesty about being safe when playing with others is what I want.
Other than that, who they've seen/are seeing or plan to see is nothing to do with me |
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By *avhonaWoman
over a year ago
Away with the faeries |
I will never ask for details or for information as I respect privacy (and I'm a very private person as well)...
However, I'm also a colossal perv and love hearing about the things that really lit someone up sexually.
It's a learning curve about them and I also don't profess to know all there is to know about the sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't find it off putting. I quite like to hear about previous sexual encounters, how many it's been and stuff that has been done (and it can be a turn on). I'm quite happy to talk about mine if asked. |
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Hmmm.
Well considering that Becky and I met on Fab and had both been active singles with a reasonable amount of verifications, we both knew about previous partners and meets.
We’ve even played with a few from the past.
Previously in vanilla relationships it had been a sticking point but our relationship is strong and has totally honesty.
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I think you should always be honest. That said you don't have to reveal every single detail. Too many want to tell you about their amazing conquests, how they made someone explode etc. Personally I always like the stories of when things went wrong, something stupid happened, when you were the dumb / unlucky / naive one. |
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We’ve spoken about ours, it’s interesting to know.
To be honest each person we’ve been with sexually has shaped us into the sexual people we are now so there’s no jealousy.
With us both being on FAB as singles prior we’ve shared stuff so there’s no surprises.
It’s also interesting to see the journey from vanilla to something more |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
I don't mind hearing the other person's exploits and have no issue with what they've done in the past. That being said, I won't ask them about the past. They share only if they want to.
I also don't normally share spontaneously. I may give some information if asked but keep it from being too specific or detailed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My question is that do you find it off putting when you learn or reveal of your sexual partners previous history with other men or women or does this not bother you? Maybe it has the opposite effect and serves to bond you stronger to that person(I imagine this not to be the case for anyone)."
Doesn't bother me. But if a guy can reveal his sexual past in an honest way without slagging them all off or making them sound amazing I have a bit respect towards them.
Although if a previous partner did something I can't or won't and they massively enjoyed it I might feel a bit inadequate. |
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I'm inclined to think that if somebody can't accept that the past is in the past and/or can't deal with my past experiences not that mine are particularly wild compared with some), then we are probably not right for each other. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The past is the past , best left in the past ,  "
You see, and this is just my opinion, but I can't stand that quote. The past is a constant and doesn't go away, burying it away doesn't mean it's going anywhere, the past is always there and time isn't spent like that what people think. It's like ignorance is bliss; quite possibly couldn't choose to be more dim in my opinion by adopting that one. |
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I think it depends on both partners expectations from the new relationship.
Peoples past (not just sexual) can define the type of person they have become.
An example that springs to mind is a serial cheater. You’d have no way of knowing their past, but would you want to be in a relationship with that person?
Fact is, everyone has a past but I’d be a little wary of people who avoid talking about or tty to hide theirs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My question is that do you find it off putting when you learn or reveal of your sexual partners previous history with other men or women or does this not bother you? Maybe it has the opposite effect and serves to bond you stronger to that person(I imagine this not to be the case for anyone)."
You mean are we bothered about each other’s sexual history??
If that’s the question then no. I think we both got over that in our teens |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you're judging people on their past, you're probably going to end up miserable.
People require encouragement, sexually and otherwise. Lift people up, don't knock them down.
I couldn't care less if someone has slept with hundreds of people. I have, so why would I judge anyone else?
Relationships are about freedom, not ownership. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My question is that do you find it off putting when you learn or reveal of your sexual partners previous history with other men or women or does this not bother you? Maybe it has the opposite effect and serves to bond you stronger to that person(I imagine this not to be the case for anyone).
Doesn't bother me. But if a guy can reveal his sexual past in an honest way without slagging them all off or making them sound amazing I have a bit respect towards them.
Although if a previous partner did something I can't or won't and they massively enjoyed it I might feel a bit inadequate. "
That’s a very reasoned post. I think if a person refuses to discuss absolutely anything of their past relationships then that could potentially problematic. On the other hand of some is revealing too much or too open about it with someone who doesn’t need to hear that much then that can also cause issues too.
It’s about communicating well with your current partner and trying to be honest and respectful at the same time.
I’d be worried if a person was always angry and giving out about their exes. And maybe also wary of they were always talking about them too. A balance is always something to be aimed for with me. |
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I don't mind hearing about funny stuff or whatever, but I have found my confidence takes a hit when they're sat there reminiscing all twinkly eyed, and I'm thinking "seriously, why don't you just fucking call them instead coz it sounds like that's where you'd rather be" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't mind hearing about funny stuff or whatever, but I have found my confidence takes a hit when they're sat there reminiscing all twinkly eyed, and I'm thinking "seriously, why don't you just fucking call them instead coz it sounds like that's where you'd rather be" "
Meh I just wave them goodbye if they do that. No point me wasting their precious time when they'd clearly rather be in someone else. |
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"I don't mind hearing about funny stuff or whatever, but I have found my confidence takes a hit when they're sat there reminiscing all twinkly eyed, and I'm thinking "seriously, why don't you just fucking call them instead coz it sounds like that's where you'd rather be"
Meh I just wave them goodbye if they do that. No point me wasting their precious time when they'd clearly rather be in someone else."
Should have been an indicator really eh  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't mind hearing about funny stuff or whatever, but I have found my confidence takes a hit when they're sat there reminiscing all twinkly eyed, and I'm thinking "seriously, why don't you just fucking call them instead coz it sounds like that's where you'd rather be"
Meh I just wave them goodbye if they do that. No point me wasting their precious time when they'd clearly rather be in someone else.
Should have been an indicator really eh "
Oi! Dont you dare be blaming yourself!
Or I'll come round there...
Oh, I cant. But i bloomin' well would! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't mind hearing about funny stuff or whatever, but I have found my confidence takes a hit when they're sat there reminiscing all twinkly eyed, and I'm thinking "seriously, why don't you just fucking call them instead coz it sounds like that's where you'd rather be"
Meh I just wave them goodbye if they do that. No point me wasting their precious time when they'd clearly rather be in someone else.
Should have been an indicator really eh "
I didn't say it was your fault. |
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"I don't mind hearing about funny stuff or whatever, but I have found my confidence takes a hit when they're sat there reminiscing all twinkly eyed, and I'm thinking "seriously, why don't you just fucking call them instead coz it sounds like that's where you'd rather be"
Meh I just wave them goodbye if they do that. No point me wasting their precious time when they'd clearly rather be in someone else.
Should have been an indicator really eh
Oi! Dont you dare be blaming yourself!
Or I'll come round there...
Oh, I cant. But i bloomin' well would!"
I'm not blaming myself, but the more I look the more obvious things are. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I think there’s a big difference between having a conversation about past experiences and having someone harp on constantly about it making you feel like shit in the process."
Definitely - there's a huge difference between "I've tried this before and think you'll like it" and "Me and ABC did this and it was bloody amazing he/she had me so horny, want to see if you match up?" |
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"I think there’s a big difference between having a conversation about past experiences and having someone harp on constantly about it making you feel like shit in the process.
Definitely - there's a huge difference between "I've tried this before and think you'll like it" and "Me and ABC did this and it was bloody amazing he/she had me so horny, want to see if you match up?" "
That's the one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't mind hearing about funny stuff or whatever, but I have found my confidence takes a hit when they're sat there reminiscing all twinkly eyed, and I'm thinking "seriously, why don't you just fucking call them instead coz it sounds like that's where you'd rather be"
Meh I just wave them goodbye if they do that. No point me wasting their precious time when they'd clearly rather be in someone else.
Should have been an indicator really eh
Oi! Dont you dare be blaming yourself!
Or I'll come round there...
Oh, I cant. But i bloomin' well would!
I'm not blaming myself, but the more I look the more obvious things are. "
Hindsight is always 20/20
But you can only work with the information you have on any given day |
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