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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi Everyone
I am interested to hear from people who are in/or have experienced a Dom/Sub relationship whilst living apart.
How do you Dominate?
How do you punish?
What do you do if they play up?
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Hi Everyone
I am interested to hear from people who are in/or have experienced a Dom/Sub relationship whilst living apart.
How do you Dominate?
How do you punish?
What do you do if they play up?
"
Have you been in a D/s relationship before?
If so what defines the two roles for you and your partner?
It is hard work to do D/s at a distance even for those people who have experience in it.
It is easy to lose track of what makes the relationship D/s for those in it.
Each dynamic is different, but heres some of my experience:
How do you dominate?
Domination is about power exchange. Create rules and routines that are to be followed.
This could range from the obvious messaging in the morning and at night, sending photos (sexy or otherwise), you selecting their clothes for the day, setting them tasks to complete, monitoring their food and alcohol consumption, controlling their spending, smoking, agreeing to or finding them sexual partners.
Its what ever control the submissive partner has given over to the Dominant.
How do you punish?
I often find a common misconception is the D/s is all about punishment.
No sub should want to be punished and no Dom should spend all their time wanting to punish their sub.
Punishment is an activity used for correcting behaviour. It is not fun, it is not play, it is not “funishment”.
Punishment should also fit the “crime”.
You can have them stand in a corner, write you lines, write an essay, give them-self a spanking, use things like vics vapour rub or deep heat on butt plugs or other senstive areas.
Ignoring them is not a punishment.
The sub also needs to know why they are being punished, and that after the punishment they are forgiven. You cant keep punishing them for the same thing.
What do you do if they play up?
It depends.
By play up do you mean not follow the rules on purpose or accident?
Bratting out happens, thats for you to deal with as a Dom.
If they are not following the agreed rules, not showing any interest in you as a Dom then end the dynamic.
If they arent taking it seriously not should you.
If they just want the fantasy Dom they saw or read about, then they need to face reality and find that Dom for themselves.
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I've done this a few times.
Key is to build up a relationship based on tasks and compliance.
Does depend on the dynamic but things that have worked for me in the past include:
- choosing underwear the sub wears.
- tasks for her to complete during the day/week - maybe researching a kink and week and presenting them to you.
- daily diary or journal of how she feels (so you can be made aware of her feelings)
- depending how deep you are then you can start with owning her cums and allowing her to cum only on your say so.
- lots of communication is the key and evolving a relationship that fulfills both your needs. |
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