FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is angry sex the new thing?
Is angry sex the new thing?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Are sex acts or the intention behind the sex getting more violent and aggressive? Ive never noticed it on fab before but seems everywhere now. I dont want to kink shame or disrespect anyones enjoyment but the concept makes me rather uncomfortable blow jobs until vomiting or impact activity that seems more like an mma match than sex  i’d like to hear others thoughts and opinions please |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable
I respect people’s kinks etc but the idea to ‘hurt’ another person or degrade them makes me sad.
I spoke to a woman to help me understand it once - she actually said that she does it because it keeps the man coming back - so he must like her!!
I know that’s not the case the majority of the time, but to me, it’s a dangerous place to be. Unless, of course, it’s been born out of a loving relationship first |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No I don’t think it’s the new thing. It’s always been around but maybe the vocal ones on fab are those who’ve been watching porn and now think it’s the new thing? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
For me angry sex isn’t violent. It’s that post argument, tension smashing sex where it’s just a bit more frantic, urgent - a ‘I might claw his back a bit harder cos I need it now’ thing. What was described in the op wouldn’t be at all welcome for me.
As a consensual kink if someones into it who am I to condemn it? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I get it inside the bedroom but it really worries me when people 'live the lifestyle' and get dominated in day to day life too. I know some people claim to enjoy it but I still can't get my head around it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For me angry sex isn’t violent. It’s that post argument, tension smashing sex where it’s just a bit more frantic, urgent - a ‘I might claw his back a bit harder cos I need it now’ thing. What was described in the op wouldn’t be at all welcome for me.
"
This is what I have always called 'Makeup hate fuck'. Raw, passionate, harder, faster and blows the memories of an argument well away. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think there is a world of difference between angry/violent sex and impact PLAY.
Angry to me suggests there is a lack of control and it is done without consent or someone is coerced. Those into kink the scenes are spoken about and consent given prior to play. There should be a mutual want to be doing the scene, else it shouldn't be done.
Though I have my kinks it is not something, I am not searching for someone to play with here on fab |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think possibly porn has normalised a kink and inexperienced Men/Boys only have porn as a teacher.
Internet remembers your tastes by using cookies and then just suggests more of the same,thinks that's all you want to watch.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm worried that folk do not know the difference between bdsm, abuse, anger, hate, frustration, etc etc, Often porn or even groups/websites like this accidentally encourages folk to explore stuff they have no control over. Several accounts of folk agreeing to be tied up and then wish they hadn't as the topper loses control..... Stay safe people xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
One persons kink interests isn't for everyone. I think that's the beauty in people and sex. There is so much variety.
Look at this site. To many the concept of swinging is disgusting and shouldn't be done. Its cheating (even with permission).
As long as everyone is consenting then I see no problem with people kinks. Some might not be for me like OP said but I simply move on and find those looking for the same as me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Id echo all the above that porn seems to have become a lot more violent, as if that's the norm for how to have sex. It's a very visual power thing (giving power or taking) I guess people want to recreate that to fulfill a need. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don’t watch porn but there are over 1 million sites. The top one hold over 9millions videos. It’s hard to say if movies are more violent?
Maybe porn sites provide to the demand?
But it would be a worry for women if men want a more violent and “angry” sex! In bdsm or kink world is done through communication, agreement and consent. Even then, it’s very rare to start a session with the rough or hard kink, it’s graduate and after some warm up if you prefer. The person need to be in the right mind set to engage in violent “scene”.
Angry type is a more niche play and while it sound horrible, the person doing it, still need to be in control or it will be classed as abuse. I know some women are into it, regardless if you agree or not for many reasons. Regain control of the past abuse or juts plainly enjoy it. I had a babygirl type submissive and she did ask for that kind of play. As long there is after care, communication after it and make sure both party are still in the same wave.
But it’s a worry some boys message women and blatantly impose their fantasy like this straight away! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm worried that folk do not know the difference between bdsm, abuse, anger, hate, frustration, etc etc"
Absolutely this. It's fucking terrifying.
The widespread inability to distinguish between consensual BDSM play and abuse scares the shit out of me. Look at the success of Fifty Shades of Shite – textbook abusive, manipulative, controlling relationship marketed as idealised, romantic BDSM. Properly horrifying. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A combination of porn influences and the sad fact some people actually don't like or respect the opposite sex.
In my opinion."
The amount of people on here looking for sex with people they openly hate is unbelievable.
It's quite worrying what they will do if they get a meet.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are sex acts or the intention behind the sex getting more violent and aggressive? Ive never noticed it on fab before but seems everywhere now. I dont want to kink shame or disrespect anyones enjoyment but the concept makes me rather uncomfortable blow jobs until vomiting or impact activity that seems more like an mma match than sex i’d like to hear others thoughts and opinions please "
On the thread about Jesy Nelson the other day... the thread about the young woman who is suffering mental health issues due to people treating her badly and fuck knows what else...
At least 2 men stated they would "throat fuck" her.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Not for us. We are more soft and sensual, especially at the start. The thought of me leaving bruises is abhorrent to me, really don't see the appeal. I think there should huge difference between bdsm and abuse but it seems to be getting narrower |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"For me angry sex isn’t violent. It’s that post argument, tension smashing sex where it’s just a bit more frantic, urgent - a ‘I might claw his back a bit harder cos I need it now’ thing. What was described in the op wouldn’t be at all welcome for me.
This is what I have always called 'Makeup hate fuck'. Raw, passionate, harder, faster and blows the memories of an argument well away."
This is my interpretation of angry sex too. "I love you but I'm mad at you, you sexy fucking cunt" sex
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
its well documented that easy access to (increasingly extreme) porn is desensitising, leading users down the rabbit hole inorder to feel a thrill. Where will it end? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
I find people on this site have little understanding of BDSM and its nuances. They use vanilla language to describe BDSM acts which may be safe and consensual. But because they are vanilla they cannot distinguish between safe (as possible) fully informed consensual acts and abuse which is (non consensual acts, non consent includes withholding information.
There is also the position that someone wants a particular scene but find they are out of depths and feel unable to voice this at the time.
So let's take "angry sex" what is meant by this? Is it role-playing or rough sex with consent or someone abusing a person, when I say abuse I mean non consensual play?
I think we need to get our terms right.
I would just mention the porn argument. There is a load of very bad kink orientated porn. But because it is porn it is orientated around sex, and can give a false idea that kink is all about sex. But there are elements in some of that porn that replicate what adults consensually want (for some sex is an important part of their scene). I have seen what some would call porn orientated scenes in real life play in dungeons and private parties.
I will touch on the fact that some see BDSM as a lifestyle, and manage successfully. It is no different than those that adopt a cuckold lifestyle or a hot wife lifestyle or even swinging. Everyone lives their lives in a way to suit themselves. If you were to ask a non swinger about "greedy girls" they may not believe that this is done by women who are not damaged. Or wives that swing, the non swinger may think the wives only do it to make their husbands happy.
The whole issue in this is consent and agency. This is not to say that BDSM is all sweetness and light. I have heard from too many submissives that they were nearly put off BDSM due to very bad first time experiences. But that is not only a BDSM issue more that in every level society there are terrible people or ill educated people. I know many good people are trying to stop this abuse in their kink communities.
It underlines the need for people to take their time with BDSM and understand what they are getting involved in, and the nature of the person with whom they they want to try BDSM.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dont think its new....
It might be more commonly spoken about or depicted in media, which probably leads people who had these preferences previously to be more open about trying them.
There is definitely some primal link to our more base nature in rougher sex... but I'll leave that to someone with more expertise to expand on |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"I find people on this site have little understanding of BDSM and its nuances. They use vanilla language to describe BDSM acts which may be safe and consensual. But because they are vanilla they cannot distinguish between safe (as possible) fully informed consensual acts and abuse which is (non consensual acts, non consent includes withholding information.
There is also the position that someone wants a particular scene but find they are out of depths and feel unable to voice this at the time.
So let's take "angry sex" what is meant by this? Is it role-playing or rough sex with consent or someone abusing a person, when I say abuse I mean non consensual play?
I think we need to get our terms right.
I would just mention the porn argument. There is a load of very bad kink orientated porn. But because it is porn it is orientated around sex, and can give a false idea that kink is all about sex. But there are elements in some of that porn that replicate what adults consensually want (for some sex is an important part of their scene). I have seen what some would call porn orientated scenes in real life play in dungeons and private parties.
I will touch on the fact that some see BDSM as a lifestyle, and manage successfully. It is no different than those that adopt a cuckold lifestyle or a hot wife lifestyle or even swinging. Everyone lives their lives in a way to suit themselves. If you were to ask a non swinger about "greedy girls" they may not believe that this is done by women who are not damaged. Or wives that swing, the non swinger may think the wives only do it to make their husbands happy.
The whole issue in this is consent and agency. This is not to say that BDSM is all sweetness and light. I have heard from too many submissives that they were nearly put off BDSM due to very bad first time experiences. But that is not only a BDSM issue more that in every level society there are terrible people or ill educated people. I know many good people are trying to stop this abuse in their kink communities.
It underlines the need for people to take their time with BDSM and understand what they are getting involved in, and the nature of the person with whom they they want to try BDSM.
"
Get out of my brain! Stealing my ideas, and then wording them even better.
Man makes a great point and explains it so well. Before you can understand something, you need to ask those that take part in it why, have them explain and educate you. Often times things make a lot more sense. Quite often there will be many varied reasons why somebody likes something that may seem strange and horrifying to you.
Why the fuck do people find enjoyment in watching Love Island!? For example  that I find much more horrifying and a breakdown of civilization than any form of fully consensual sex act, violent or not. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I find people on this site have little understanding of BDSM and its nuances. They use vanilla language to describe BDSM acts which may be safe and consensual. But because they are vanilla they cannot distinguish between safe (as possible) fully informed consensual acts and abuse which is (non consensual acts, non consent includes withholding information.
There is also the position that someone wants a particular scene but find they are out of depths and feel unable to voice this at the time.
So let's take "angry sex" what is meant by this? Is it role-playing or rough sex with consent or someone abusing a person, when I say abuse I mean non consensual play?
I think we need to get our terms right.
I would just mention the porn argument. There is a load of very bad kink orientated porn. But because it is porn it is orientated around sex, and can give a false idea that kink is all about sex. But there are elements in some of that porn that replicate what adults consensually want (for some sex is an important part of their scene). I have seen what some would call porn orientated scenes in real life play in dungeons and private parties.
I will touch on the fact that some see BDSM as a lifestyle, and manage successfully. It is no different than those that adopt a cuckold lifestyle or a hot wife lifestyle or even swinging. Everyone lives their lives in a way to suit themselves. If you were to ask a non swinger about "greedy girls" they may not believe that this is done by women who are not damaged. Or wives that swing, the non swinger may think the wives only do it to make their husbands happy.
The whole issue in this is consent and agency. This is not to say that BDSM is all sweetness and light. I have heard from too many submissives that they were nearly put off BDSM due to very bad first time experiences. But that is not only a BDSM issue more that in every level society there are terrible people or ill educated people. I know many good people are trying to stop this abuse in their kink communities.
It underlines the need for people to take their time with BDSM and understand what they are getting involved in, and the nature of the person with whom they they want to try BDSM.
"
I don’t think the op was actually talking about bdsm scene, but the discussion shifted that way.
Best to start another thread on sex in bdsm scene. It’s far too complex to generalise a life style that involve too many practices.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"its well documented that easy access to (increasingly extreme) porn is desensitising, leading users down the rabbit hole inorder to feel a thrill. Where will it end?"
It's like the lyric from a Pulp song 'what exactly do you do for an encore?'
I remember stealing a glimpse at topshelf magazines as a teen. The glossy lipstick, hint of a nipple and seductive smile of the beautiful girls gracing the covers. Immediate tightness in the trousers.
Nowadays, I barely raise an eyebrow as a result of your statement. I'm going back to the classic European porn cica 1988-00 passionate sexy and importantly, with a level dynamic of respect between the sexes. I'm not against a bit of kink, but aggressive, nah. I don't want to use a woman's body as a stress ball. Hate those gonzo style films where gym rats covered in ink squeeze and grip a women around the throat. Some must enjoy it though. All women love a bastard I was told once. Perhaps they like violent ones too? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"its well documented that easy access to (increasingly extreme) porn is desensitising, leading users down the rabbit hole inorder to feel a thrill. Where will it end?
It's like the lyric from a Pulp song 'what exactly do you do for an encore?'
I remember stealing a glimpse at topshelf magazines as a teen. The glossy lipstick, hint of a nipple and seductive smile of the beautiful girls gracing the covers. Immediate tightness in the trousers.
Nowadays, I barely raise an eyebrow as a result of your statement. I'm going back to the classic European porn cica 1988-00 passionate sexy and importantly, with a level dynamic of respect between the sexes. I'm not against a bit of kink, but aggressive, nah. I don't want to use a woman's body as a stress ball. Hate those gonzo style films where gym rats covered in ink squeeze and grip a women around the throat. Some must enjoy it though. All women love a bastard I was told once. Perhaps they like violent ones too?"
Porn now is available on every kids phones.
In your days you couldn’t access to it only in sex shop or movies xxx theatre, so not until you were 21.
I worked on a sex shop in Paris and anything out of norm was sold under the counter, most stuff came from Germany, hard core. It was “violent” but set in scene.
So now kids started with soft porn and gradually want to see more violent just like they love violent games. It’s a new culture. Who created that demand not sure.
I remember Jacobs on iPhone stating it’s not about the product but consumer self creating demand product that’s important. So I guess porn site using data analytics upload more violent agressive sex scene. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" I don’t think the op was actually talking about bdsm scene, but the discussion shifted that way.
Best to start another thread on sex in bdsm scene. It’s far too complex to generalise a life style that involve too many practices.
"
Very correct. Bdsm is a separate entity. I do get ppl twist bdsm to be something more nefarious and there is work being done to set bdsm apart from abuse. Where 2 adults are FULLY consenting that is their business.
But The expectation that everyone likes to or wants to be bashed about during sex is where I take umbrage, Personally. Primary contact comments, to a complete stranger, such as, ‘you’d look great on you knees with my cock in your mouth’ or ‘i want to fcuk you up the arse’ to me stem from a negative place.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
@ SmartyMzTarty. I am afraid this type of simple minds are all over every sites. I am on another fetish site where most everything is open to discussions, except children, animal and blood, and believe me the type of messages that women get is far worse. They don’t have any intelligence regarding how to communicate with women and most of the time force their fantasy or wank material on them.
The good thing is they prob will never find a woman who would go near them.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
i like feisty sex but like good balance also like take the anger as well as give it but of course with limits on the aggressiveness p.s like hear a lady growl   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Anyone engaging in SM activities such as impact play, ultra violence, or restrained/CNC type sexual activity that is not in a clear frame of mind is a danger to themselves and others.
Anyone engaging in that type of play where it is not consensual on both sides, such as your lady friend doing it to keep the man interested, is again not following the tenants of SSC RACK or PRICK and is likely to end up a victim of abuse or in am abusive situation.
Angry sex to me is not aligned to anything other than a hate fuck, but then I am biased as I enjoy heavy impact play over plain sexual intercourse. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I get it inside the bedroom but it really worries me when people 'live the lifestyle' and get dominated in day to day life too. I know some people claim to enjoy it but I still can't get my head around it. "
Why does it worry you only outside the bedroom? I would say that giving up control in the bedroom was far more risky than outside. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A combination of porn influences and the sad fact some people actually don't like or respect the opposite sex.
In my opinion."
Personally I've received a far higher level of respect from men within the BDSM scene than outside of it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A combination of porn influences and the sad fact some people actually don't like or respect the opposite sex.
In my opinion.
Personally I've received a far higher level of respect from men within the BDSM scene than outside of it. "
Just to qualify what I said, I didn't mean in a consensual relationship/encounter.
What I meant was how some people seem to think fairly extreme sexual behaviour is the norm or can be used as an opener to a sexual conversation.
A random messaging me and asking me if I want to be "throat fucked til I vomit" isn't any kind of sexy to me.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A combination of porn influences and the sad fact some people actually don't like or respect the opposite sex.
In my opinion.
Personally I've received a far higher level of respect from men within the BDSM scene than outside of it.
Just to qualify what I said, I didn't mean in a consensual relationship/encounter.
What I meant was how some people seem to think fairly extreme sexual behaviour is the norm or can be used as an opener to a sexual conversation.
A random messaging me and asking me if I want to be "throat fucked til I vomit" isn't any kind of sexy to me.
"
I see what you mean. That anyone thinks those of us into this will jump into it with just anyone is baffling. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A combination of porn influences and the sad fact some people actually don't like or respect the opposite sex.
In my opinion.
Personally I've received a far higher level of respect from men within the BDSM scene than outside of it.
Just to qualify what I said, I didn't mean in a consensual relationship/encounter.
What I meant was how some people seem to think fairly extreme sexual behaviour is the norm or can be used as an opener to a sexual conversation.
A random messaging me and asking me if I want to be "throat fucked til I vomit" isn't any kind of sexy to me.
I see what you mean. That anyone thinks those of us into this will jump into it with just anyone is baffling. "
Part of the ongoing wider assumption that just because someone is into something sometimes, they're into it all the time. Absolute plague. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
There’s a huge difference between angry sex and raw, passionate sex and also BDSM.
We enjoy all aspects of sex from sensual to raw.
Raw being, hard and urgent, I’m going to fuck you like I mean it type sex...but it’s controlled and enjoyable to both.
There’s no fear in our eyes...one taking it out on the other. Striking to release tension or what you seen on porn, throat grabbing, inflicting pain when one of you doesn’t want it, causing her to gag and making her eyes water. That’s what I consider angry sex...
I couldn’t have even have raw sex if I didn’t think it was enjoyable to C.
So no, I think some porn does depict angry sex and so it’s considered more mainstream and there’ll always be the wannabe Dom’s who think that’s how it should be, but I don’t think it’s getting more popular, just more accessible.
K |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
"Anyone engaging in SM activities such as impact play, ultra violence, or restrained/CNC type sexual activity that is not in a clear frame of mind is a danger to themselves and others.
Anyone engaging in that type of play where it is not consensual on both sides, such as your lady friend doing it to keep the man interested, is again not following the tenants of SSC RACK or PRICK and is likely to end up a victim of abuse or in am abusive situation.
"
Well said, 100% Agree.
CNC and impact play is something we enjoy between us, not as a staple but when our heads are 'in that place'. It's something that's always been there in the background from day one but took years of communication, respect and trust before taking those steps. Not something we'd want from fab meets, ever. Would never cross that road with strangers from here. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A combination of porn influences and the sad fact some people actually don't like or respect the opposite sex.
In my opinion.
Personally I've received a far higher level of respect from men within the BDSM scene than outside of it.
Just to qualify what I said, I didn't mean in a consensual relationship/encounter.
What I meant was how some people seem to think fairly extreme sexual behaviour is the norm or can be used as an opener to a sexual conversation.
A random messaging me and asking me if I want to be "throat fucked til I vomit" isn't any kind of sexy to me.
I see what you mean. That anyone thinks those of us into this will jump into it with just anyone is baffling.
Part of the ongoing wider assumption that just because someone is into something sometimes, they're into it all the time. Absolute plague. "
Yep. I had a guy not meet me because he decided he wasn't what I was looking for because of my BDSM interests. I like sex too though. It doesn't always involve whips and chains  . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A combination of porn influences and the sad fact some people actually don't like or respect the opposite sex.
In my opinion.
Personally I've received a far higher level of respect from men within the BDSM scene than outside of it.
Just to qualify what I said, I didn't mean in a consensual relationship/encounter.
What I meant was how some people seem to think fairly extreme sexual behaviour is the norm or can be used as an opener to a sexual conversation.
A random messaging me and asking me if I want to be "throat fucked til I vomit" isn't any kind of sexy to me.
I see what you mean. That anyone thinks those of us into this will jump into it with just anyone is baffling.
Part of the ongoing wider assumption that just because someone is into something sometimes, they're into it all the time. Absolute plague.
Yep. I had a guy not meet me because he decided he wasn't what I was looking for because of my BDSM interests. I like sex too though. It doesn't always involve whips and chains ."
That guy must be mad to turn a sexy lady like you!! Unless it was you holding the whip  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A combination of porn influences and the sad fact some people actually don't like or respect the opposite sex.
In my opinion.
Personally I've received a far higher level of respect from men within the BDSM scene than outside of it.
Just to qualify what I said, I didn't mean in a consensual relationship/encounter.
What I meant was how some people seem to think fairly extreme sexual behaviour is the norm or can be used as an opener to a sexual conversation.
A random messaging me and asking me if I want to be "throat fucked til I vomit" isn't any kind of sexy to me.
I see what you mean. That anyone thinks those of us into this will jump into it with just anyone is baffling.
Part of the ongoing wider assumption that just because someone is into something sometimes, they're into it all the time. Absolute plague.
Yep. I had a guy not meet me because he decided he wasn't what I was looking for because of my BDSM interests. I like sex too though. It doesn't always involve whips and chains ."
That's exactly the sort of thing I'm talking about. Yes, I do have various BDSM interests, but I'm reluctant to bring them up in the context of vanilla swinging because it makes people backpedal hard away from me because... they think kink is a prerequisite rather than an optional extra? That I'm going to sneakily lure them in and trick them into doing a thing they're not into? I don't know. Ugh. Humans. Who understands them? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Violence or anger doesn't turn me on at all - I'm not really interested in exploring the BDSM scene either beyond a spanking and a giggle - maybe some furry handcuffs
I have friends that are into the BDSM scene and they would never associate Voilence or anger with their lifestyle.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A combination of porn influences and the sad fact some people actually don't like or respect the opposite sex.
In my opinion.
Personally I've received a far higher level of respect from men within the BDSM scene than outside of it.
Just to qualify what I said, I didn't mean in a consensual relationship/encounter.
What I meant was how some people seem to think fairly extreme sexual behaviour is the norm or can be used as an opener to a sexual conversation.
A random messaging me and asking me if I want to be "throat fucked til I vomit" isn't any kind of sexy to me.
I see what you mean. That anyone thinks those of us into this will jump into it with just anyone is baffling.
Part of the ongoing wider assumption that just because someone is into something sometimes, they're into it all the time. Absolute plague.
Yep. I had a guy not meet me because he decided he wasn't what I was looking for because of my BDSM interests. I like sex too though. It doesn't always involve whips and chains .
That's exactly the sort of thing I'm talking about. Yes, I do have various BDSM interests, but I'm reluctant to bring them up in the context of vanilla swinging because it makes people backpedal hard away from me because... they think kink is a prerequisite rather than an optional extra? That I'm going to sneakily lure them in and trick them into doing a thing they're not into? I don't know. Ugh. Humans. Who understands them? "
Certainly not me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
But The expectation that everyone likes to or wants to be bashed about during sex is where I take umbrage, Personally. Primary contact comments, to a complete stranger, such as, ‘you’d look great on you knees with my cock in your mouth’ or ‘i want to fcuk you up the arse’ to me stem from a negative place.
"
Agreed. And it's not about BDSM. It's objectfying women as a container to cum in. I think it comes more from Incel culture than any consensual practices. Incel culture feels that women owe them sex, and if they withhold it its about power not desire. So if I say no I'm not acting on the fact I don't fancy them (why wouldn't I fancy them? They are virile and attractive! In their eyes) I must, instead, be demonstrating my power over them.
Fall far enough down the Incel rabbit hole and sex stops being a mutually pleasurable experience and becomes an act of war. I will reclaim my power! I will face fuck you till you vomit. I will take you up the arse. You will submit your agency to prop up my fragile ego!
Angry sex isn't about having sex. It's about having power.
And, from what I know of BDSM, the aren't equivalents. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
A random messaging me and asking me if I want to be "throat fucked til I vomit" isn't any kind of sexy to me.
"
So, to drag this back onto the op's point...
How many here would find vomiting from a blow job a satisfactory end to a meet?
How many men here would punch the air, yelling, "Achievement unlocked!" if they made someone vomit with their penis? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are sex acts or the intention behind the sex getting more violent and aggressive? Ive never noticed it on fab before but seems everywhere now. I dont want to kink shame or disrespect anyones enjoyment but the concept makes me rather uncomfortable blow jobs until vomiting or impact activity that seems more like an mma match than sex i’d like to hear others thoughts and opinions please "
I know some women who've had sexual trauma that have a hard time enjoying normal or vanilla sex and seek the violent things you described
It's very sad to see those situations. We need to emphasize the importance of sexual consent.
But if two individuals are consenting adults - who am I to judge |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are sex acts or the intention behind the sex getting more violent and aggressive? Ive never noticed it on fab before but seems everywhere now. I dont want to kink shame or disrespect anyones enjoyment but the concept makes me rather uncomfortable blow jobs until vomiting or impact activity that seems more like an mma match than sex i’d like to hear others thoughts and opinions please "
Damaged
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's been going that way for some time.
Most sex acts now seem to be no more than violence and degradation toward women.
If you vocalise an intelligent comment you end up having to read about 'kink shaming or each to their own comments' which don't necessarily follow logically the point being made.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
But The expectation that everyone likes to or wants to be bashed about during sex is where I take umbrage, Personally. Primary contact comments, to a complete stranger, such as, ‘you’d look great on you knees with my cock in your mouth’ or ‘i want to fcuk you up the arse’ to me stem from a negative place.
Agreed. And it's not about BDSM. It's objectfying women as a container to cum in. I think it comes more from Incel culture than any consensual practices. Incel culture feels that women owe them sex, and if they withhold it its about power not desire. So if I say no I'm not acting on the fact I don't fancy them (why wouldn't I fancy them? They are virile and attractive! In their eyes) I must, instead, be demonstrating my power over them.
Fall far enough down the Incel rabbit hole and sex stops being a mutually pleasurable experience and becomes an act of war. I will reclaim my power! I will face fuck you till you vomit. I will take you up the arse. You will submit your agency to prop up my fragile ego!
Angry sex isn't about having sex. It's about having power.
And, from what I know of BDSM, the aren't equivalents. "
Bdsm is totally different to this new angry sex culture thats has cropped up. Even in bdsm the boundries are defined, discussed and consented to prior to any play. Yes you push her boundries pleasure pain wise,but you do not act on anything that has not been consented to. I love my woman and she is my world. Pleasuring her is the goal and not abusing her. Angry sex is not for me. Each to their own though. John |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
Writing to people you don't know about sex (whether angry sex or other kind) is wrong. Anyone is entitled to be disgruntled about it.
OP at not point said the angry sex was non consensual. If it was non consensual it is abuse, if it is consensual it is no-one's business other than those involved.
In denying it is about bdsm people are defining bdsm in their own terms. Unfortunately for them they are using a definition of BDSM many would not accept and they are talking about BDSM.
If it is not for you just say no. But these Mrs Whitehead comments about everyone expecting brutal sex takes away agency and we should be teaching people to be able to say no, and not to write messages to strange people about sex.
It is rude to call people damaged if you don't understand their kink. Unless you are a professional analyst and analysing a specific person please keep bad psychoanalysis out of kink.
Finally on the site that can't be mentioned one of recurring complaints is that hardcore kink is being driven from the site by "vanilla kinksters" and the "bedroom bondage crowd" who claim they know all about kink, but are only interested in sex.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
A random messaging me and asking me if I want to be "throat fucked til I vomit" isn't any kind of sexy to me.
So, to drag this back onto the op's point...
How many here would find vomiting from a blow job a satisfactory end to a meet?
How many men here would punch the air, yelling, "Achievement unlocked!" if they made someone vomit with their penis? "
what? Is that a thing |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Are sex acts or the intention behind the sex getting more violent and aggressive? Ive never noticed it on fab before but seems everywhere now. I dont want to kink shame or disrespect anyones enjoyment but the concept makes me rather uncomfortable blow jobs until vomiting or impact activity that seems more like an mma match than sex i’d like to hear others thoughts and opinions please "
Violent and aggressive "angry sex" is wrong... unless all participants give informed and enthusiastic consent, in which case it's fine.
"Blow jobs until vomiting" are wrong... unless all participants give informed and enthusiastic consent, in which case they're fine.
"Activity that seems more like an MMA match than sex" is wrong... unless all participants give informed and enthusiasic consent, in which case it's fine.
Any non-consensual sexual activity is wrong... unless all participants give informed and enthusiastic consent, in which case it's fine.
Informed. Enthusiastic. Consent. That's the difference between healthy BDSM activity and abuse. It's that simple.
Humans have a real problem with saying "Such-and-such a thing is WRONG!" when what they *should* be saying is "Nah, not for me, thanks. You have fun, though." |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Titles like "brutal" "gang" "slap" is a bit OTT.. The woman is going through pain for a bit of money etc
.. but in the everyday world.. angry sex / dominate etc etc .. it's just a small fantasy of the lady having sexual pleasure from a "Alpha" male who has the lead / control.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For me angry sex isn’t violent. It’s that post argument, tension smashing sex where it’s just a bit more frantic, urgent - a ‘I might claw his back a bit harder cos I need it now’ thing. What was described in the op wouldn’t be at all welcome for me.
This is what I have always called 'Makeup hate fuck'. Raw, passionate, harder, faster and blows the memories of an argument well away."
This is my take on it too. For me it's intense and the emotions that fuel it are different. It's never violent or forced in anyway.
If anyone fucked my mouth so hard I was sick I would leave and never see them again.
It's not really about domination but I do get off on having the power over a man at those points. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
