FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How do you make friends?
How do you make friends?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's definitely a tricky one at the moment.
In normal times I would suggest having a look at the social and club events on here.
Maybe that's something worth considering in the future. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even before covid I really struggled to meet new people outside if work. Where have you met like minded people?"
I think it's important to have meaningful common interests for lasting friendships. So, perhaps think of what you enjoy doing regularly - could be walking, cooking, cycling, gym, travel - whatever, and try and connect with people who have those shared interests.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Even before covid I really struggled to meet new people outside if work. Where have you met like minded people?
I think it's important to have meaningful common interests for lasting friendships. So, perhaps think of what you enjoy doing regularly - could be walking, cooking, cycling, gym, travel - whatever, and try and connect with people who have those shared interests.
"
Maybe it's just me but I've joined a few share interest groups and they have been sooooooo dull. I find it really boring talking about one activity for hours lol |
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As you grow older it becomes more difficult unless you're someone who's a "joiner" ie gets involved in clubs, committees, internet groups etc. I think it also depends on how you define friend, I have 2 possibly 3 people I call friend although I know many more. It takes me a long while before I become friends with someone
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As you grow older it becomes more difficult unless you're someone who's a "joiner" ie gets involved in clubs, committees, internet groups etc. I think it also depends on how you define friend, I have 2 possibly 3 people I call friend although I know many more. It takes me a long while before I become friends with someone
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3 friends! Such a show off |
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I don’t have many friends lots of acquaintances though.
A true friend requires trust and generally stands the test of time.
Getting to know people I find does come quite easy however and I feel it’s about being interested in them and paying attention to them.
In reality I have to resort to making my friends from modelling clay like Wallace and gromit.  |
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"As you grow older it becomes more difficult unless you're someone who's a "joiner" ie gets involved in clubs, committees, internet groups etc. I think it also depends on how you define friend, I have 2 possibly 3 people I call friend although I know many more. It takes me a long while before I become friends with someone
3 friends! Such a show off"
 yeah well I'm popular, what can I say |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
Most of my proper friends I met when I had my children, at baby groups etc. I've always been quite shy but when I had kids I made a conscious decision to put myself 'out there' a bit more.
Do you go to the gym?
Keep on touch with school/college people?
In a football team?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Most of my proper friends I met when I had my children, at baby groups etc. I've always been quite shy but when I had kids I made a conscious decision to put myself 'out there' a bit more.
Do you go to the gym?
Keep on touch with school/college people?
In a football team?
"
I find at the gym everyone is in there own little work out bubble so not the best place to meet people.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have met them here. Also there and everywhere.
I will be your friend OP
That's a kind offer lol. As long as we don't have to talk about rugby..."
We could start with cake? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have met them here. Also there and everywhere.
I will be your friend OP
That's a kind offer lol. As long as we don't have to talk about rugby...
We could start with cake?"
Which type? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even before covid I really struggled to meet new people outside if work. Where have you met like minded people?"
I found connections on my local FB pages, I joined a slimming group (which is virtual at the minute) I also buddy run with a few ladies in my village, which is nice.
It's difficult at the minute to start things though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have met them here. Also there and everywhere.
I will be your friend OP
That's a kind offer lol. As long as we don't have to talk about rugby...
We could start with cake?
Which type?"
Why limit ourselves to one? Let’s explore all the cakes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are the second to say coffee shop... I don't understand how this works, do you just sit next to someone and start talking?"
I'm a support worker, and I support a young gentleman with autism. Because of how his support works, and his routines etc He visits the same costa coffee everyday at the same time, some other people seem to do the same, and Bingo connections have been made, to the extent that I know they make an effort to still be there at the same time, it was purely accidental, but has made a huge impact on his confidence, self esteem and communication skills |
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"I have met them here. Also there and everywhere.
I will be your friend OP
That's a kind offer lol. As long as we don't have to talk about rugby..."
When you are out and about smile say hello to people or good morning, afternoon. I was like you very shy and reserved and never spoke to anyone but now I will talk to strangers out shopping. I have even photo bombed people taking selfies and had a good laugh. Just be your self mate you will be surprised that people do actually want a chat especially the oldies. Add me as a friend and we can get chatting
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is a site called meetup that has all different kinds of socials going off in local areas. Obviously not at the moment. My closest friends i met through school and work"
I dipped my nose into that a couple of years ago, but got the impression that a few of local groups were run as fab socials  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There is a site called meetup that has all different kinds of socials going off in local areas. Obviously not at the moment. My closest friends i met through school and work
I dipped my nose into that a couple of years ago, but got the impression that a few of local groups were run as fab socials "
Is that good or bad? |
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"There is a site called meetup that has all different kinds of socials going off in local areas. Obviously not at the moment. My closest friends i met through school and work
I dipped my nose into that a couple of years ago, but got the impression that a few of local groups were run as fab socials "
Really. I think wherever a group of men and women get together a percentage will be looking to hook up. I've never used meetup but was looking at a local group just before covid. |
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repetition is good. As finchee said. If you do the same thing at the same time you find others do. Whether its out wslking, coffee shop, pub swimming. You start by smiling then a hello then passing the time of day and it goes from there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"repetition is good. As finchee said. If you do the same thing at the same time you find others do. Whether its out wslking, coffee shop, pub swimming. You start by smiling then a hello then passing the time of day and it goes from there"
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"Hobbies and voluntary work. Online as well - people knock it, but it can work quite well."
Definitely this
I have made friends through voluntary work and hobbies. Mr got me some sewing lessons a few years ago and most of us on the course were still meeting up until lockdown version 1.0. We would have a glass or three of vino collapso, do a bit of sewing and have a chat. We called it the stitch and bitch.
We are both looking forward to meeting some of the people we have chatted to on here when conditions permit. |
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"Hobbies and voluntary work. Online as well - people knock it, but it can work quite well.
Definitely this
I have made friends through voluntary work and hobbies. Mr got me some sewing lessons a few years ago and most of us on the course were still meeting up until lockdown version 1.0. We would have a glass or three of vino collapso, do a bit of sewing and have a chat. We called it the stitch and bitch.
We are both looking forward to meeting some of the people we have chatted to on here when conditions permit. "
I'm really looking forward to the next volunteer party. They put on some great shindigs |
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"As you grow older it becomes more difficult unless you're someone who's a "joiner" ie gets involved in clubs, committees, internet groups etc. I think it also depends on how you define friend, I have 2 possibly 3 people I call friend although I know many more. It takes me a long while before I become friends with someone
"
I think that's quite import.
What do you class as a friend ?
Is it someone who would be there for you in times of crisis or struggle, the times when other friends run for cover.
Or, do you class friends as the facebook type or work colleagues or just the odd people you meet. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As you grow older it becomes more difficult unless you're someone who's a "joiner" ie gets involved in clubs, committees, internet groups etc. I think it also depends on how you define friend, I have 2 possibly 3 people I call friend although I know many more. It takes me a long while before I become friends with someone
I think that's quite import.
What do you class as a friend ?
Is it someone who would be there for you in times of crisis or struggle, the times when other friends run for cover.
Or, do you class friends as the facebook type or work colleagues or just the odd people you meet. "
I mean a person I actually want to spend time with. Work colleagues aren't friends. |
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Work, Interest clubs, swinging clubs, Hobbies. Down the pub, renewing old acquaintances.
A girlfriend who stops and talks to everyone helps as well in our small little village.
Probably have a hardcore of 8 people who I would call solid dependable friends though.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you have siblings? I find we adopt each others friends quite often. Or just other friends to sort some zoom quizzes with just now and get everyone to invite someone from outside the usual group. I think I'd struggle to make brand new friends from scratch too, I usually just expand the existing circle through association. |
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By *picMan
over a year ago
Petworth |
In a local town to me a bar/ coffee shop put a bench outside with a sign on it with words to the effect of the bench is there for people to chat to someone who want to basically have a talk to someone, stranger etc.
One day I thought I'd try this out and sat there for 20 minutes with no one even approaching ( this seat is in a main high st)
No one ever used the bench and it was eventually taken away......so why?
Would people be to embarrassed to sit there thinking others know they have no one to talk to or are people just not sociable. |
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"In a local town to me a bar/ coffee shop put a bench outside with a sign on it with words to the effect of the bench is there for people to chat to someone who want to basically have a talk to someone, stranger etc.
One day I thought I'd try this out and sat there for 20 minutes with no one even approaching ( this seat is in a main high st)
No one ever used the bench and it was eventually taken away......so why?
Would people be to embarrassed to sit there thinking others know they have no one to talk to or are people just not sociable."
Very few people are genuinely sociable. If you attend an event alone people stick in their groups and it's extremely difficult to walk up to a group and introduce yourself. There's usually one maybe two people who'll walk about chatting and introducing people to one another and sporting people who are alone and bringing them in to their group. Having attended mother and toddler groups and sat like a bad smell while everyone sat in little groups I try to he the person who notices the loner now.
However and this is no reflection on you, I wouldn't approach a lone man on my own. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I find it hard to make new friends if I’m honest OP. I’m very shy and unless someone strikes up a conversation with me then i don’t chat to anyone.
My last new friend was via School run as her child is in the same class as mine, and that was struck through sheer determination on her part to get a conversation out of me  |
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"I find it hard to make new friends if I’m honest OP. I’m very shy and unless someone strikes up a conversation with me then i don’t chat to anyone.
My last new friend was via School run as her child is in the same class as mine, and that was struck through sheer determination on her part to get a conversation out of me "
I'm not shy I just like very few people and very few people like me |
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By *rre786Man
over a year ago
Reading |
Can be difficult to make new friends, I find it tough. But then I know others that genuinely can (and have) made friends with random people at coffee shops. But that is some next level social skills that I don't possess... 
Mutual interests are a great place to start. My newest friends have all come through joining groups that interest me, and over time a shared interests become many shared interests becomes a friendship. Pick an activity you enjoy and join a group for it, either (or at least initially) online, and then in real life...
Good luck OP. |
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"'Pick an activity you enjoy and join a group for it... ' I've tried this and I just end up surrounded by bores..."
Are you giving these bores a chance? Once you're past the initial awkward conversations they might not be quite so boring. |
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"You are the second to say coffee shop... I don't understand how this works, do you just sit next to someone and start talking?"
Yes, but ask to sit with them first....this is what I did when I met my now partner. |
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"Even before covid I really struggled to meet new people outside if work. Where have you met like minded people?"
Outside swinging, loads of places.
We went to dancing classes, really funny.
Pub, RSPCA dog walking group, sea kayaking group.
Try joining a charity or group helping people or animals.
Tend to be nice selfless folk, it's a great alternative to gang bangs
There are numerous groups and associations, try going into your local library and asking about groups.
But like everything in life, you have to put in effort.
Have fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Other dating sites have worked for me, the munch meets from a certain other adult site were always helpful. It is just kinda difficult when you find people interesting and enjoy conversation and sharing all sorts limited not only by this years current events but also by how a lot of people perceive the idea of having a friend of somebody that might actually show guanine interest in you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I read a story online bout a lad saying he has no mates. No1 makes real mates over 30 and it hit home I moved to Edinburgh and I've my core mates in Ireland and work people I get on with but Jesus it can get lonely. Colleagues are just that.im grand with the fact but I see how people struggle especially younger folk |
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"Even before covid I really struggled to meet new people outside if work. Where have you met like minded people?
I think it's important to have meaningful common interests for lasting friendships. So, perhaps think of what you enjoy doing regularly - could be walking, cooking, cycling, gym, travel - whatever, and try and connect with people who have those shared interests.
"
1
This is Excellent advice from The last Titan.
Its definitely harder to build strong friendships as you get older.
In my mid 30's I had either lost touch with, or needed to distance myself from my old friends.
I took up strength sports and though that I have built up some excellent and very healthy friendships. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to not make friends and am quite happy about that (I'm not particularly sociable either).
When I was at school/college/work places people would make me their friend - which would last for a while and then I'd drift away from them.
I have a close family and most of my time is taken up with family stuff anyway. |
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