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Things you have used to masturbate with
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cucumbers (obv)
An apple
Ice lolly
Golf balls (several at once)
Umbrella handle (with a bend on it )
Frozen banana
My fist
Hammer handle
Dildo attached to broom handle attached to bicycle back wheel (bike was upside down and I had shoe laces attached to the peddles to pull to 'ride the bike')
And a few others I refuse to say  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cucumbers (obv)
An apple
Ice lolly
Golf balls (several at once)
Umbrella handle (with a bend on it)
Frozen banana
My fist
Hammer handle
Dildo attached to broom handle attached to bicycle back wheel (bike was upside down and I had shoe laces attached to the peddles to pull to 'ride the bike')
And a few others I refuse to say "
That reminds me. Can we have our lawnmower back if your finished with it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cucumbers (obv)
An apple
Ice lolly
Golf balls (several at once)
Umbrella handle (with a bend on it)
Frozen banana
My fist
Hammer handle
Dildo attached to broom handle attached to bicycle back wheel (bike was upside down and I had shoe laces attached to the peddles to pull to 'ride the bike')
And a few others I refuse to say That reminds me. Can we have our lawnmower back if your finished with it "
No problem, I just need to clean it first |
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"Cucumbers (obv)
An apple
Ice lolly
Golf balls (several at once)
Umbrella handle (with a bend on it)
Frozen banana
My fist
Hammer handle
Dildo attached to broom handle attached to bicycle back wheel (bike was upside down and I had shoe laces attached to the peddles to pull to 'ride the bike')
And a few others I refuse to say "
Sounds like an x-rated version of Macgyver |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cucumbers (obv)
An apple
Ice lolly
Golf balls (several at once)
Umbrella handle (with a bend on it)
Frozen banana
My fist
Hammer handle
Dildo attached to broom handle attached to bicycle back wheel (bike was upside down and I had shoe laces attached to the peddles to pull to 'ride the bike')
And a few others I refuse to say That reminds me. Can we have our lawnmower back if your finished with it
No problem, I just need to clean it first "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Baseball bat. Cucumber, bannana, screwdriver handle,hairbrush handle. Mostly when i was younger and single "
Wow thats a big variety must day thats the hot to think about |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The footboard of my old bed, and old virgin tv remote, a roll on deodorant bottle, various shaped pillows and cushions (dry humping) oh and a rolling pin |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The footboard of my old bed, and old virgin tv remote, a roll on deodorant bottle, various shaped pillows and cushions (dry humping) oh and a rolling pin "
Absolutely brilliant horny comment x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The footboard of my old bed, and old virgin tv remote, a roll on deodorant bottle, various shaped pillows and cushions (dry humping) oh and a rolling pin
Absolutely brilliant horny comment x "
Would u like me to jack u off |
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"The footboard of my old bed, and old virgin tv remote, a roll on deodorant bottle, various shaped pillows and cushions (dry humping) oh and a rolling pin "
No cucumbers, table legs or champagne bottles? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The footboard of my old bed, and old virgin tv remote, a roll on deodorant bottle, various shaped pillows and cushions (dry humping) oh and a rolling pin
No cucumbers, table legs or champagne bottles? "
Cucumbers shrink when warm table legs well, they r attractched to tables, don’t drink champagne but I have used a wine bottle over a mirror once just to see what I could see  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The footboard of my old bed, and old virgin tv remote, a roll on deodorant bottle, various shaped pillows and cushions (dry humping) oh and a rolling pin
Absolutely brilliant horny comment x
Would u like me to jack u off "
Does a bear shit in the woods lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The footboard of my old bed, and old virgin tv remote, a roll on deodorant bottle, various shaped pillows and cushions (dry humping) oh and a rolling pin
Absolutely brilliant horny comment x
Would u like me to jack u off
Does a bear shit in the woods lol "
Whoever said romance was dead |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I orgasmed climbing a gym rope when I was 10..: was straining so hard to get to the top that I blew my beans, weird but true. I fell off the rope and ran to the bathroom as I thought I had pissed myself lol.... ah that’s where it all changed couldn’t keep my hands off myself from then on....
Thanks Erm.. Rope |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I orgasmed climbing a gym rope when I was 10..: was straining so hard to get to the top that I blew my beans, weird but true. I fell off the rope and ran to the bathroom as I thought I had pissed myself lol.... ah that’s where it all changed couldn’t keep my hands off myself from then on....
Thanks Erm.. Rope"
Similar experience in skin tight jeans riding a bike the seam of the fabric was twiddling me bits I must have rode around the block about 20 times |
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"The footboard of my old bed, and old virgin tv remote, a roll on deodorant bottle, various shaped pillows and cushions (dry humping) oh and a rolling pin "
Did you bake with the rolling pin after?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fleshlight, hands and leather gloves
I've always fancied a flashlight.. what's it like? Worth it? I wank alot "
Some say it desensitises you and makes it harder for a normal vagina to compete |
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"The footboard of my old bed, and old virgin tv remote, a roll on deodorant bottle, various shaped pillows and cushions (dry humping) oh and a rolling pin
No cucumbers, table legs or champagne bottles?
Cucumbers shrink when warm table legs well, they r attractched to tables, don’t drink champagne but I have used a wine bottle over a mirror once just to see what I could see "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fleshlight, hands and leather gloves
I've always fancied a flashlight.. what's it like? Worth it? I wank alot
Flesh light lol"
Flesh light or flash light make up your mind lol.... Freudian slip? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The footboard of my old bed, and old virgin tv remote, a roll on deodorant bottle, various shaped pillows and cushions (dry humping) oh and a rolling pin
Did you bake with the rolling pin after? "
I’d never used it I wouldn’t mind it was a wooden like the ones in home economics at school, it’s a wonder mine doesn’t look like a Venus fly trap now  so Un natural |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fleshlight, hands and leather gloves
I've always fancied a flashlight.. what's it like? Worth it? I wank alot
Flesh light lol
Flesh light or flash light make up your mind lol.... Freudian slip?"
Flaming auto correct lol |
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"The footboard of my old bed, and old virgin tv remote, a roll on deodorant bottle, various shaped pillows and cushions (dry humping) oh and a rolling pin
Did you bake with the rolling pin after? I’d never used it I wouldn’t mind it was a wooden like the ones in home economics at school, it’s a wonder mine doesn’t look like a Venus fly trap now so Un natural "
Now see I had pussy flavoured pastry on my mind!!!
So that's what they did in home economics!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have a public pic on our profile of me sucking a utensil. My partner was in hospital so I sent him a few pics of me pleasuring myself with it. He said it did the trick |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We have a public pic on our profile of me sucking a utensil. My partner was in hospital so I sent him a few pics of me pleasuring myself with it. He said it did the trick "
Wow your beautiful |
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"The end of a hairbrush - classic (not the fuzzy end tho )
Deodorant can
Cucumber -peeled as it’s more slippery
The horn off a Viking helmet "
This is me (Luke) reading that:
Yeah, I can imagine that.
Yeah, I can imagine that.
Yeah, I can imagine that.
WTF?!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lol tooth brushes, hair brushes ends, make up brushes. The durex lube bottle (the pink thick one) .. And possibly a couple of veg but don’t like those much lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have a public pic on our profile of me sucking a utensil. My partner was in hospital so I sent him a few pics of me pleasuring myself with it. He said it did the trick
Wow your beautiful "
Thank you  |
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