Alcohol is your best friend.... Until it isn't
A lighthearted thread as to what not to do when d*unk.
Funniest one gets a curly wurly.
Don't Break into a zoo and steal a few penguins (they're awesome but I've seen mr po..ers penguins and they cause mayhem) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Where do I start?
Telling Mum about having a threesome with my gf and a family member?
Being sick on my Aunties bed on Xmas Eve?
Going downstairs naked and getting on the couch when the family was still up watching telly?
Standing at the side of Mums bed, getting my knob out and telling her I needed a wee?
Getting invited to my bosses house in a leafy Cheshire village and doing Cotton Eye round the small local pub?
Sleepwalking round his house afterwards. Again naked?
Getting locked out of two hotel rooms naked - on one occasion having to go to reception to be let back in?
Sucking my Mrs's colleague off after a night out?
More cringey than funny, but there ya go
There's reasons I rarely drink these days  |
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"Don't like up into what you thought was a bucket and it turns out to be a large flower pot with holes in the bottom.
Results in a lap full of puke.  "
Don't puke up, not like up.
I have many many stupid stories about d*unken stupidity.
The result is I have not i
been d*unk in 15 years as I always turn into a fucking asshole. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Throw up in a taxi your Dad owns, leaving the driver to have to ask your Mum for hot water and cleaning supplies when he gets you home.
Letting your sister persuade you that taco shells heated in the oven is better than a takeaway pizza because you both forget about them.
Agree to move in with your sister.
Watch your sister chase wild rabbits on holiday because she wants the perfect photo.
Shop online. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't lean your ass over a balcony with 2 mates holding onto you and shit from 100ft up straight into the German militarys paddling pool, whilst they are relaxing in it. |
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"Don't lean your ass over a balcony with 2 mates holding onto you and shit from 100ft up straight into the German militarys paddling pool, whilst they are relaxing in it."
bloody crying with laughter here |
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