FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why can't we just be curious?
Why can't we just be curious?
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Feel free to add your own rant 
Lu  | |||
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"Because we are worried that you are researchers for Sydney University and compiling a dossier on us all?"
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"Because we are worried that you are researchers for Sydney University and compiling a dossier on us all?" Not all of us. Dossiers are my kink.  | |||
"Why is it that whenever someone asks a question on here, half of the people responding don't seem to be able to understand that sometimes you're just curious. Sometimes you have a thought and wonder and decide to ask... It doesn't mean anything is bothering you. Or that you're pissed off, upset or whatever. Sometimes we're just curious.... I've noticed this SO much lately. "Why does it bother you?" This is a rant... Not a question per say. And yes. It does bother me. It's fucking annoying!
Feel free to add your own rant
Lu "You've summed it up perfectly, I dont need to add anything else | |||
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"Because we are worried that you are researchers for Sydney University and compiling a dossier on us all?" Shhh Meeting by the jacaranda at noon then we're all off to Ralph's | |||
"I don't understand why some other people don't understand that curiosity sometimes comes from wondering why some things seem to provoke such a strong emotional response " I understand that totally! Some people seem hellbent on making out something has really upset you when actually you're just wondering...thats what I'm talking about. What you're describing simply sounds like a discussion. Nowt wrong with that. | |||
"Guilty "It's all good | |||
"I don't understand why some other people don't understand that curiosity sometimes comes from wondering why some things seem to provoke such a strong emotional response I understand that totally! Some people seem hellbent on making out something has really upset you when actually you're just wondering...thats what I'm talking about. What you're describing simply sounds like a discussion. Nowt wrong with that. " | |||
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"It's good to question people " I agree. I don't think it's good to try and project onto others tho. | |||
"It's good to question people I agree. I don't think it's good to try and project onto others tho. " There's a lot of projection and assumption that goes on | |||
"Because we are worried that you are researchers for Sydney University and compiling a dossier on us all? Shhh Meeting by the jacaranda at noon then we're all off to Ralph's" I'm guessing these are places in Sydney yes ?? | |||
"Because we are worried that you are researchers for Sydney University and compiling a dossier on us all?" That would be me  | |||
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"Because we are worried that you are researchers for Sydney University and compiling a dossier on us all? Shhh Meeting by the jacaranda at noon then we're all off to Ralph's I'm guessing these are places in Sydney yes ?? "
The jacaranda tree is/was (it died and was replaced) the most famous tree in Sydney. In the main quadrangle of the university
Ralph's is a cafe on the other side of campus. Was, anyway. | |||
"I've found recently there is a lack of discussion on here. Even on the thought provoking threads there isn't a discussion more a list of sentences. And definitely more people asking why? Instead of adding anything insightful. But I guess many are weary with all this covid. " Some of us try | |||
"I don't understand why some other people don't understand that curiosity sometimes comes from wondering why some things seem to provoke such a strong emotional response I understand that totally! Some people seem hellbent on making out something has really upset you when actually you're just wondering...thats what I'm talking about. What you're describing simply sounds like a discussion. Nowt wrong with that. "Cause apparently there's a motive behind everything  | |||
"I've found recently there is a lack of discussion on here. Even on the thought provoking threads there isn't a discussion more a list of sentences. And definitely more people asking why? Instead of adding anything insightful. But I guess many are weary with all this covid. Some of us try" Definitely there are of course | |||
"Because we are worried that you are researchers for Sydney University and compiling a dossier on us all? Shhh Meeting by the jacaranda at noon then we're all off to Ralph's I'm guessing these are places in Sydney yes ??
The jacaranda tree is/was (it died and was replaced) the most famous tree in Sydney. In the main quadrangle of the university
Ralph's is a cafe on the other side of campus. Was, anyway."I've never seen the word Quadrangle used on Fab before | |||
"I don't understand why some other people don't understand that curiosity sometimes comes from wondering why some things seem to provoke such a strong emotional response I understand that totally! Some people seem hellbent on making out something has really upset you when actually you're just wondering...thats what I'm talking about. What you're describing simply sounds like a discussion. Nowt wrong with that.
Cause apparently there's a motive behind everything "It's sad innit  | |||
"Because we are worried that you are researchers for Sydney University and compiling a dossier on us all? Shhh Meeting by the jacaranda at noon then we're all off to Ralph's I'm guessing these are places in Sydney yes ??
The jacaranda tree is/was (it died and was replaced) the most famous tree in Sydney. In the main quadrangle of the university
Ralph's is a cafe on the other side of campus. Was, anyway.
I've never seen the word Quadrangle used on Fab before "I messaged you. It's the name of the building  | |||
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"I don't understand why some other people don't understand that curiosity sometimes comes from wondering why some things seem to provoke such a strong emotional response I understand that totally! Some people seem hellbent on making out something has really upset you when actually you're just wondering...thats what I'm talking about. What you're describing simply sounds like a discussion. Nowt wrong with that.
Cause apparently there's a motive behind everything
It's sad innit "It bloody is, I'm nosey and I like having a chat about something random that's come into my brain, end of | |||
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"Curiosity killed the cat" I like your name | |||
"The very odd occasion I've put up a thread has usually been a question or more a pondering. It's a great way to process your own thoughts by entering into a discussion. " Get out of my brain... | |||
"I don't understand why some other people don't understand that curiosity sometimes comes from wondering why some things seem to provoke such a strong emotional response I understand that totally! Some people seem hellbent on making out something has really upset you when actually you're just wondering...thats what I'm talking about. What you're describing simply sounds like a discussion. Nowt wrong with that.
Cause apparently there's a motive behind everything
It's sad innit
It bloody is, I'm nosey and I like having a chat about something random that's come into my brain, end of "Exactly!!! | |||
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"Curiosity killed the cat" Excuse me?  | |||
"Because we are worried that you are researchers for Sydney University and compiling a dossier on us all? That would be me "Thought as much. | |||
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"Whilst of course being curious is perfectly ok, I think sometimes it comes down to how that "curiosity" is framed, as quite often an element of reading between the lines indicates there's more to the "curiosity" than just idle ponderings. To use the example of your thread yesterday as a good example OP - while it *may* have been simply idle curiosity about the different experiences between a single profile and a couples profile - I can see why, by some, it may have been taken as more than "idle curiosity", and that there was a level of "botheredness" about the less messages and Fabs you are now getting, and possibly that it was even a veiled/subconscious "look at me" thread from the way it was framed, regardless of the fact you stated it wasn't. I'm not saying those perceptions were either right or wrong (only you know the actual answer to that) just that I can see how some would have that perception, and ultimately if you post a thread on an open forum you throw it open to individual perceptions, interpretations and opinion for people to comment how they see fit, and have to accept that not everyone will perceive things the same, have the same interpretation or share the same opinion as you - that's after all the nature of a forum." But see, that's my issue. On that thread, I was very clear. Yet people still presume to know my thoughts and feelings better than I do. I don't like the projection. Question things by all means...but to assume and make it out to be something different is a twatty move imo. | |||
" But see, that's my issue. On that thread, I was very clear. Yet people still presume to know my thoughts and feelings better than I do. I don't like the projection. Question things by all means...but to assume and make it out to be something different is a twatty move imo. " Agreed. | |||
"Why is it that whenever someone asks a question on here, half of the people responding don't seem to be able to understand that sometimes you're just curious. Sometimes you have a thought and wonder and decide to ask... It doesn't mean anything is bothering you. Or that you're pissed off, upset or whatever. Sometimes we're just curious.... I've noticed this SO much lately. "Why does it bother you?" This is a rant... Not a question per say. And yes. It does bother me. It's fucking annoying!
Feel free to add your own rant
Lu "You’re so sexy when your angry.  | |||
"Whilst of course being curious is perfectly ok, I think sometimes it comes down to how that "curiosity" is framed, as quite often an element of reading between the lines indicates there's more to the "curiosity" than just idle ponderings. To use the example of your thread yesterday as a good example OP - while it *may* have been simply idle curiosity about the different experiences between a single profile and a couples profile - I can see why, by some, it may have been taken as more than "idle curiosity", and that there was a level of "botheredness" about the less messages and Fabs you are now getting, and possibly that it was even a veiled/subconscious "look at me" thread from the way it was framed, regardless of the fact you stated it wasn't. I'm not saying those perceptions were either right or wrong (only you know the actual answer to that) just that I can see how some would have that perception, and ultimately if you post a thread on an open forum you throw it open to individual perceptions, interpretations and opinion for people to comment how they see fit, and have to accept that not everyone will perceive things the same, have the same interpretation or share the same opinion as you - that's after all the nature of a forum. But see, that's my issue. On that thread, I was very clear. Yet people still presume to know my thoughts and feelings better than I do. I don't like the projection. Question things by all means...but to assume and make it out to be something different is a twatty move imo. " Whilst you may *think* you were clear, it all still comes back to individual perception and interpretation though - I've just re-read your OP there and yes you go to great lengths to say "I'm not bothered" but people (who ultimately don't know you to know for themselves how sincere you are in those words) will perceive it how they perceive it on a public forum, and if they perceive it as "methinks thou doeth protest too much" - then they will. It's not projecting or assuming anything - it's perception and interpretation of what and how you have worded your post. Had you of simply posted "Has anyone else noticed a difference between being on a singles profile and a couples profile here? I've noticed a few things but curious to know the experience of others" and then thrown it open to the floor, interjecting with your own experiences as the thread developed - the perception may have been somewhat different. As I said, if you throw something open to a public forum you have to accept, to an extent, different perceptions, interpretations and opinions will follow and they may not all agree with you. | |||
"Why is it that whenever someone asks a question on here, half of the people responding don't seem to be able to understand that sometimes you're just curious. Sometimes you have a thought and wonder and decide to ask... It doesn't mean anything is bothering you. Or that you're pissed off, upset or whatever. Sometimes we're just curious.... I've noticed this SO much lately. "Why does it bother you?" This is a rant... Not a question per say. And yes. It does bother me. It's fucking annoying!
Feel free to add your own rant
Lu
You’re so sexy when your angry. "Only when I'm angry? | |||
"Whilst of course being curious is perfectly ok, I think sometimes it comes down to how that "curiosity" is framed, as quite often an element of reading between the lines indicates there's more to the "curiosity" than just idle ponderings. To use the example of your thread yesterday as a good example OP - while it *may* have been simply idle curiosity about the different experiences between a single profile and a couples profile - I can see why, by some, it may have been taken as more than "idle curiosity", and that there was a level of "botheredness" about the less messages and Fabs you are now getting, and possibly that it was even a veiled/subconscious "look at me" thread from the way it was framed, regardless of the fact you stated it wasn't. I'm not saying those perceptions were either right or wrong (only you know the actual answer to that) just that I can see how some would have that perception, and ultimately if you post a thread on an open forum you throw it open to individual perceptions, interpretations and opinion for people to comment how they see fit, and have to accept that not everyone will perceive things the same, have the same interpretation or share the same opinion as you - that's after all the nature of a forum. But see, that's my issue. On that thread, I was very clear. Yet people still presume to know my thoughts and feelings better than I do. I don't like the projection. Question things by all means...but to assume and make it out to be something different is a twatty move imo. Whilst you may *think* you were clear, it all still comes back to individual perception and interpretation though - I've just re-read your OP there and yes you go to great lengths to say "I'm not bothered" but people (who ultimately don't know you to know for themselves how sincere you are in those words) will perceive it how they perceive it on a public forum, and if they perceive it as "methinks thou doeth protest too much" - then they will. It's not projecting or assuming anything - it's perception and interpretation of what and how you have worded your post. Had you of simply posted "Has anyone else noticed a difference between being on a singles profile and a couples profile here? I've noticed a few things but curious to know the experience of others" and then thrown it open to the floor, interjecting with your own experiences as the thread developed - the perception may have been somewhat different. As I said, if you throw something open to a public forum you have to accept, to an extent, different perceptions, interpretations and opinions will follow and they may not all agree with you." I accept different perceptions, interpretations and opinions. I love a good debate. And generally in asking a question I am actively welcoming those things. What I don't accept is a total stranger telling me how I feel/think. | |||
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"Why is it that whenever someone asks a question on here, half of the people responding don't seem to be able to understand that sometimes you're just curious. Sometimes you have a thought and wonder and decide to ask... It doesn't mean anything is bothering you. Or that you're pissed off, upset or whatever. Sometimes we're just curious.... I've noticed this SO much lately. "Why does it bother you?" This is a rant... Not a question per say. And yes. It does bother me. It's fucking annoying!
Feel free to add your own rant
Lu
You’re so sexy when your angry.
Only when I'm angry? "Aaarrrrghhh ok you got me. All the time. | |||
"Why is it that whenever someone asks a question on here, half of the people responding don't seem to be able to understand that sometimes you're just curious. Sometimes you have a thought and wonder and decide to ask... It doesn't mean anything is bothering you. Or that you're pissed off, upset or whatever. Sometimes we're just curious.... I've noticed this SO much lately. "Why does it bother you?" This is a rant... Not a question per say. And yes. It does bother me. It's fucking annoying!
Feel free to add your own rant
Lu
You’re so sexy when your angry.
Only when I'm angry?
Aaarrrrghhh ok you got me. All the time. " | |||
" But see, that's my issue. On that thread, I was very clear. Yet people still presume to know my thoughts and feelings better than I do. I don't like the projection. Question things by all means...but to assume and make it out to be something different is a twatty move imo. " But, by your own reasoning, are you not using projection in that statement? You're assuming that others are making assumptions. Just playing devils advocate...it's a perpetual cycle. I have to agree with GM about it just being different perceptions and conclusions drawn from the available information, and that that is the nature of a public forum...how often do we see posters not happy with comments received in the course of a thread? We're all different and have our own thought processes and individual bias...personally I enjoy seeing all the different interpretations and responses, especially when I start threads | |||
" I accept different perceptions, interpretations and opinions. I love a good debate. And generally in asking a question I am actively welcoming those things. What I don't accept is a total stranger telling me how I feel/think. " But is someone expressing a different perception/interpretation/opinion telling you how you feel/think? Or are they simply expressing their perception/interpretation of what you have said? If you, by your own admission, can accept that people have different perceptions/interpretations/opinions then it has to be the latter surely? And to take your original point about being able to express curiosity - is expressing a curiosity about the reasons/morivation for your curiosity not allowed? | |||
"Why is it that whenever someone asks a question on here, half of the people responding don't seem to be able to understand that sometimes you're just curious. Sometimes you have a thought and wonder and decide to ask... It doesn't mean anything is bothering you. Or that you're pissed off, upset or whatever. Sometimes we're just curious.... I've noticed this SO much lately. "Why does it bother you?" This is a rant... Not a question per say. And yes. It does bother me. It's fucking annoying!
Feel free to add your own rant
Lu "It’s good to be curious. Especially when it comes to the lives of celebrities, gives me a giggle that some of them get so self absorbed and blow things out of proportion. X | |||
" But see, that's my issue. On that thread, I was very clear. Yet people still presume to know my thoughts and feelings better than I do. I don't like the projection. Question things by all means...but to assume and make it out to be something different is a twatty move imo. But, by your own reasoning, are you not using projection in that statement? You're assuming that others are making assumptions. Just playing devils advocate...it's a perpetual cycle. I have to agree with GM about it just being different perceptions and conclusions drawn from the available information, and that that is the nature of a public forum...how often do we see posters not happy with comments received in the course of a thread? We're all different and have our own thought processes and individual bias...personally I enjoy seeing all the different interpretations and responses, especially when I start threads " Projection and pondering are two very different things. I welcome questions. Curiosity is good! When someone repeatedly says one thing but is repeatedly told otherwise by others they are projecting their own conclusions onto them. It's like public gaslighting. I don't think it's fair for a bunch of strangers to tell you how you feel. | |||
" I welcome questions. Curiosity is good! When someone repeatedly says one thing but is repeatedly told otherwise by others they are projecting their own conclusions onto them. It's like public gaslighting. I don't think it's fair for a bunch of strangers to tell you how you feel. " It's fine, though, because outside observers can see the gaslighters fucking with the lights. No, you're not crazy, people are indeed manipulating you. | |||
" I accept different perceptions, interpretations and opinions. I love a good debate. And generally in asking a question I am actively welcoming those things. What I don't accept is a total stranger telling me how I feel/think. But is someone expressing a different perception/interpretation/opinion telling you how you feel/think? Or are they simply expressing their perception/interpretation of what you have said? If you, by your own admission, can accept that people have different perceptions/interpretations/opinions then it has to be the latter surely? And to take your original point about being able to express curiosity - is expressing a curiosity about the reasons/morivation for your curiosity not allowed? " You're totally missing my point. They are two different things. Just because you say something doesn't make it so. Expressing a curiosity is ALWAYS allowed in my book. But once I've answered that curiosity, Why then continue to question it? I'm my opinion, that's where the projection comes from. If I've already said 6 times that something doesn't bother me, Why can people not accept that instead of making it their mission to prove it does? | |||
" I accept different perceptions, interpretations and opinions. I love a good debate. And generally in asking a question I am actively welcoming those things. What I don't accept is a total stranger telling me how I feel/think. But is someone expressing a different perception/interpretation/opinion telling you how you feel/think? Or are they simply expressing their perception/interpretation of what you have said? If you, by your own admission, can accept that people have different perceptions/interpretations/opinions then it has to be the latter surely? And to take your original point about being able to express curiosity - is expressing a curiosity about the reasons/morivation for your curiosity not allowed? You're totally missing my point. They are two different things. Just because you say something doesn't make it so. Expressing a curiosity is ALWAYS allowed in my book. But once I've answered that curiosity, Why then continue to question it? I'm my opinion, that's where the projection comes from. If I've already said 6 times that something doesn't bother me, Why can people not accept that instead of making it their mission to prove it does? " Agreed . Some people always think they know better | |||
"Whilst of course being curious is perfectly ok, I think sometimes it comes down to how that "curiosity" is framed, as quite often an element of reading between the lines indicates there's more to the "curiosity" than just idle ponderings. To use the example of your thread yesterday as a good example OP - while it *may* have been simply idle curiosity about the different experiences between a single profile and a couples profile - I can see why, by some, it may have been taken as more than "idle curiosity", and that there was a level of "botheredness" about the less messages and Fabs you are now getting, and possibly that it was even a veiled/subconscious "look at me" thread from the way it was framed, regardless of the fact you stated it wasn't. I'm not saying those perceptions were either right or wrong (only you know the actual answer to that) just that I can see how some would have that perception, and ultimately if you post a thread on an open forum you throw it open to individual perceptions, interpretations and opinion for people to comment how they see fit, and have to accept that not everyone will perceive things the same, have the same interpretation or share the same opinion as you - that's after all the nature of a forum. But see, that's my issue. On that thread, I was very clear. Yet people still presume to know my thoughts and feelings better than I do. I don't like the projection. Question things by all means...but to assume and make it out to be something different is a twatty move imo. Whilst you may *think* you were clear, it all still comes back to individual perception and interpretation though - I've just re-read your OP there and yes you go to great lengths to say "I'm not bothered" but people (who ultimately don't know you to know for themselves how sincere you are in those words) will perceive it how they perceive it on a public forum, and if they perceive it as "methinks thou doeth protest too much" - then they will. It's not projecting or assuming anything - it's perception and interpretation of what and how you have worded your post. Had you of simply posted "Has anyone else noticed a difference between being on a singles profile and a couples profile here? I've noticed a few things but curious to know the experience of others" and then thrown it open to the floor, interjecting with your own experiences as the thread developed - the perception may have been somewhat different. As I said, if you throw something open to a public forum you have to accept, to an extent, different perceptions, interpretations and opinions will follow and they may not all agree with you. I accept different perceptions, interpretations and opinions. I love a good debate. And generally in asking a question I am actively welcoming those things. What I don't accept is a total stranger telling me how I feel/think. " I just seen this and clearly you took offence to a comment I made in a thread of yours yesterday to the extent that you've begun a new one as a result. I made an observation based on what you wrote and what I know of fab and its intricacies. I'm sorry if it didn't agree with you but it wasn't an insult or a projection, but merely my interpretation of what I read. I was not nasty or insulting. I don't know you, and to my knowledge we haven't interacted before. I have nothing against you either. As stated by someone else, every time you comment on an open forum you may get responses you disagree with and don't like. I've received far worse for posts and have received nasty pm from people i've never interacted with off the back of comments i've posted before. Not worried in the slightest about it. Nor do I require public reassurance on an open forum from my friends about it either. If you prefer an environment completely free of contentious opinions, the echo chambers of group chats with like minded people are preferable | |||
"Whilst of course being curious is perfectly ok, I think sometimes it comes down to how that "curiosity" is framed, as quite often an element of reading between the lines indicates there's more to the "curiosity" than just idle ponderings. To use the example of your thread yesterday as a good example OP - while it *may* have been simply idle curiosity about the different experiences between a single profile and a couples profile - I can see why, by some, it may have been taken as more than "idle curiosity", and that there was a level of "botheredness" about the less messages and Fabs you are now getting, and possibly that it was even a veiled/subconscious "look at me" thread from the way it was framed, regardless of the fact you stated it wasn't. I'm not saying those perceptions were either right or wrong (only you know the actual answer to that) just that I can see how some would have that perception, and ultimately if you post a thread on an open forum you throw it open to individual perceptions, interpretations and opinion for people to comment how they see fit, and have to accept that not everyone will perceive things the same, have the same interpretation or share the same opinion as you - that's after all the nature of a forum. But see, that's my issue. On that thread, I was very clear. Yet people still presume to know my thoughts and feelings better than I do. I don't like the projection. Question things by all means...but to assume and make it out to be something different is a twatty move imo. Whilst you may *think* you were clear, it all still comes back to individual perception and interpretation though - I've just re-read your OP there and yes you go to great lengths to say "I'm not bothered" but people (who ultimately don't know you to know for themselves how sincere you are in those words) will perceive it how they perceive it on a public forum, and if they perceive it as "methinks thou doeth protest too much" - then they will. It's not projecting or assuming anything - it's perception and interpretation of what and how you have worded your post. Had you of simply posted "Has anyone else noticed a difference between being on a singles profile and a couples profile here? I've noticed a few things but curious to know the experience of others" and then thrown it open to the floor, interjecting with your own experiences as the thread developed - the perception may have been somewhat different. As I said, if you throw something open to a public forum you have to accept, to an extent, different perceptions, interpretations and opinions will follow and they may not all agree with you. I accept different perceptions, interpretations and opinions. I love a good debate. And generally in asking a question I am actively welcoming those things. What I don't accept is a total stranger telling me how I feel/think. I just seen this and clearly you took offence to a comment I made in a thread of yours yesterday to the extent that you've begun a new one as a result. I made an observation based on what you wrote and what I know of fab and its intricacies. I'm sorry if it didn't agree with you but it wasn't an insult or a projection, but merely my interpretation of what I read. I was not nasty or insulting. I don't know you, and to my knowledge we haven't interacted before. I have nothing against you either. As stated by someone else, every time you comment on an open forum you may get responses you disagree with and don't like. I've received far worse for posts and have received nasty pm from people i've never interacted with off the back of comments i've posted before. Not worried in the slightest about it. Nor do I require public reassurance on an open forum from my friends about it either. If you prefer an environment completely free of contentious opinions, the echo chambers of group chats with like minded people are preferable "Actually it was more to do with my thread this morning that Lu posted this just so were clear , cheers | |||
"Why is it that whenever someone asks a question on here, half of the people responding don't seem to be able to understand that sometimes you're just curious. Sometimes you have a thought and wonder and decide to ask... It doesn't mean anything is bothering you. Or that you're pissed off, upset or whatever. Sometimes we're just curious.... I've noticed this SO much lately. "Why does it bother you?" This is a rant... Not a question per say. And yes. It does bother me. It's fucking annoying!
Feel free to add your own rant
Lu "Simply because they are looking for an answer. Usually affirmation of what they think, but it annoys them that someone can think differently. Its primarily taken as a threat. Few are comfortable in themselves not to feel threatened by a difference of opinion or that someone might be simply thinking and open. My rant us close minded sheep who won't think...baaa baaa baaaa. | |||
"Why is it that whenever someone asks a question on here, half of the people responding don't seem to be able to understand that sometimes you're just curious. Sometimes you have a thought and wonder and decide to ask... It doesn't mean anything is bothering you. Or that you're pissed off, upset or whatever. Sometimes we're just curious.... I've noticed this SO much lately. "Why does it bother you?" This is a rant... Not a question per say. And yes. It does bother me. It's fucking annoying!
Feel free to add your own rant
Lu
Simply because they are looking for an answer. Usually affirmation of what they think, but it annoys them that someone can think differently.
Its primarily taken as a threat.
Few are comfortable in themselves not to feel threatened by a difference of opinion or that someone might be simply thinking and open.
My rant us close minded sheep who won't think...baaa baaa baaaa."Yup. Totally true. I do it myself sometimes, and I see plenty of others do it. I try to restrain myself and answer openly, but I don't always succeed. | |||
" I welcome questions. Curiosity is good! When someone repeatedly says one thing but is repeatedly told otherwise by others they are projecting their own conclusions onto them. It's like public gaslighting. I don't think it's fair for a bunch of strangers to tell you how you feel. It's fine, though, because outside observers can see the gaslighters fucking with the lights. No, you're not crazy, people are indeed manipulating you." Yep | |||
" I accept different perceptions, interpretations and opinions. I love a good debate. And generally in asking a question I am actively welcoming those things. What I don't accept is a total stranger telling me how I feel/think. But is someone expressing a different perception/interpretation/opinion telling you how you feel/think? Or are they simply expressing their perception/interpretation of what you have said? If you, by your own admission, can accept that people have different perceptions/interpretations/opinions then it has to be the latter surely? And to take your original point about being able to express curiosity - is expressing a curiosity about the reasons/motivation for your curiosity not allowed? You're totally missing my point. They are two different things. Just because you say something doesn't make it so. Expressing a curiosity is ALWAYS allowed in my book. But once I've answered that curiosity, Why then continue to question it? I'm my opinion, that's where the projection comes from. If I've already said 6 times that something doesn't bother me, Why can people not accept that instead of making it their mission to prove it does? " I'm not sure I am missing your point and they are different things for sure - one suggests they know what you think, the other suggests individual perception/interpretation/opinion of what you have said in a public forum. Now of course no-one can *know* what you actually think, so it has to be the second option. And yes, the same person continuing to question something could be interpreted as projection but again to use your other thread as an example from what I can see one person raised the question, you responded and that was that - hardly anyone on a mission or projecting. Ultimately though it comes down to acceptance that on a public forum such as this people won't always agree with you, or may question you - it doesn't necessarily mean they are trying to tell you how to think or act just simply they hold a different opinion. | |||
"Why is it that whenever someone asks a question on here, half of the people responding don't seem to be able to understand that sometimes you're just curious. Sometimes you have a thought and wonder and decide to ask... It doesn't mean anything is bothering you. Or that you're pissed off, upset or whatever. Sometimes we're just curious.... I've noticed this SO much lately. "Why does it bother you?" This is a rant... Not a question per say. And yes. It does bother me. It's fucking annoying!
Feel free to add your own rant
Lu
Simply because they are looking for an answer. Usually affirmation of what they think, but it annoys them that someone can think differently.
Its primarily taken as a threat.
Few are comfortable in themselves not to feel threatened by a difference of opinion or that someone might be simply thinking and open.
My rant us close minded sheep who won't think...baaa baaa baaaa."That and group think , some people wouldn’t join in, but if enough do, especially those they are infatuated with or who role model them, there’s a critical mass , they feel compelled to join the group think to confirm they are normal | |||
"Whilst of course being curious is perfectly ok, I think sometimes it comes down to how that "curiosity" is framed, as quite often an element of reading between the lines indicates there's more to the "curiosity" than just idle ponderings. To use the example of your thread yesterday as a good example OP - while it *may* have been simply idle curiosity about the different experiences between a single profile and a couples profile - I can see why, by some, it may have been taken as more than "idle curiosity", and that there was a level of "botheredness" about the less messages and Fabs you are now getting, and possibly that it was even a veiled/subconscious "look at me" thread from the way it was framed, regardless of the fact you stated it wasn't. I'm not saying those perceptions were either right or wrong (only you know the actual answer to that) just that I can see how some would have that perception, and ultimately if you post a thread on an open forum you throw it open to individual perceptions, interpretations and opinion for people to comment how they see fit, and have to accept that not everyone will perceive things the same, have the same interpretation or share the same opinion as you - that's after all the nature of a forum. But see, that's my issue. On that thread, I was very clear. Yet people still presume to know my thoughts and feelings better than I do. I don't like the projection. Question things by all means...but to assume and make it out to be something different is a twatty move imo. Whilst you may *think* you were clear, it all still comes back to individual perception and interpretation though - I've just re-read your OP there and yes you go to great lengths to say "I'm not bothered" but people (who ultimately don't know you to know for themselves how sincere you are in those words) will perceive it how they perceive it on a public forum, and if they perceive it as "methinks thou doeth protest too much" - then they will. It's not projecting or assuming anything - it's perception and interpretation of what and how you have worded your post. Had you of simply posted "Has anyone else noticed a difference between being on a singles profile and a couples profile here? I've noticed a few things but curious to know the experience of others" and then thrown it open to the floor, interjecting with your own experiences as the thread developed - the perception may have been somewhat different. As I said, if you throw something open to a public forum you have to accept, to an extent, different perceptions, interpretations and opinions will follow and they may not all agree with you. I accept different perceptions, interpretations and opinions. I love a good debate. And generally in asking a question I am actively welcoming those things. What I don't accept is a total stranger telling me how I feel/think. I just seen this and clearly you took offence to a comment I made in a thread of yours yesterday to the extent that you've begun a new one as a result. I made an observation based on what you wrote and what I know of fab and its intricacies. I'm sorry if it didn't agree with you but it wasn't an insult or a projection, but merely my interpretation of what I read. I was not nasty or insulting. I don't know you, and to my knowledge we haven't interacted before. I have nothing against you either. As stated by someone else, every time you comment on an open forum you may get responses you disagree with and don't like. I've received far worse for posts and have received nasty pm from people i've never interacted with off the back of comments i've posted before. Not worried in the slightest about it. Nor do I require public reassurance on an open forum from my friends about it either. If you prefer an environment completely free of contentious opinions, the echo chambers of group chats with like minded people are preferable
Actually it was more to do with my thread this morning that Lu posted this just so were clear , cheers "He's right...it was his thread that prompted this one. Though there have been many lately that have added to my pondering. You weren't the only person on my thread to question my motives even tho I'd been clear about them. So make no mistake, this isn't about you. I've been using these forums for 13 years and am quite aware of how they work. I simply dislike the way some humans interact. No hard feelings from my end regarding your comment on my thread. A lot of what you concluded wasn't correct, but that's allowed. | |||
" I accept different perceptions, interpretations and opinions. I love a good debate. And generally in asking a question I am actively welcoming those things. What I don't accept is a total stranger telling me how I feel/think. But is someone expressing a different perception/interpretation/opinion telling you how you feel/think? Or are they simply expressing their perception/interpretation of what you have said? If you, by your own admission, can accept that people have different perceptions/interpretations/opinions then it has to be the latter surely? And to take your original point about being able to express curiosity - is expressing a curiosity about the reasons/motivation for your curiosity not allowed? You're totally missing my point. They are two different things. Just because you say something doesn't make it so. Expressing a curiosity is ALWAYS allowed in my book. But once I've answered that curiosity, Why then continue to question it? I'm my opinion, that's where the projection comes from. If I've already said 6 times that something doesn't bother me, Why can people not accept that instead of making it their mission to prove it does? I'm not sure I am missing your point and they are different things for sure - one suggests they know what you think, the other suggests individual perception/interpretation/opinion of what you have said in a public forum. Now of course no-one can *know* what you actually think, so it has to be the second option. And yes, the same person continuing to question something could be interpreted as projection but again to use your other thread as an example from what I can see one person raised the question, you responded and that was that - hardly anyone on a mission or projecting. Ultimately though it comes down to acceptance that on a public forum such as this people won't always agree with you, or may question you - it doesn't necessarily mean they are trying to tell you how to think or act just simply they hold a different opinion. " This thread wasn't about my thread so that point is rather moot here. We'll have to agree to disagree on this...i see no sense in going around in circles to no end. | |||
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"Whilst of course being curious is perfectly ok, I think sometimes it comes down to how that "curiosity" is framed, as quite often an element of reading between the lines indicates there's more to the "curiosity" than just idle ponderings. To use the example of your thread yesterday as a good example OP - while it *may* have been simply idle curiosity about the different experiences between a single profile and a couples profile - I can see why, by some, it may have been taken as more than "idle curiosity", and that there was a level of "botheredness" about the less messages and Fabs you are now getting, and possibly that it was even a veiled/subconscious "look at me" thread from the way it was framed, regardless of the fact you stated it wasn't. I'm not saying those perceptions were either right or wrong (only you know the actual answer to that) just that I can see how some would have that perception, and ultimately if you post a thread on an open forum you throw it open to individual perceptions, interpretations and opinion for people to comment how they see fit, and have to accept that not everyone will perceive things the same, have the same interpretation or share the same opinion as you - that's after all the nature of a forum. But see, that's my issue. On that thread, I was very clear. Yet people still presume to know my thoughts and feelings better than I do. I don't like the projection. Question things by all means...but to assume and make it out to be something different is a twatty move imo. Whilst you may *think* you were clear, it all still comes back to individual perception and interpretation though - I've just re-read your OP there and yes you go to great lengths to say "I'm not bothered" but people (who ultimately don't know you to know for themselves how sincere you are in those words) will perceive it how they perceive it on a public forum, and if they perceive it as "methinks thou doeth protest too much" - then they will. It's not projecting or assuming anything - it's perception and interpretation of what and how you have worded your post. Had you of simply posted "Has anyone else noticed a difference between being on a singles profile and a couples profile here? I've noticed a few things but curious to know the experience of others" and then thrown it open to the floor, interjecting with your own experiences as the thread developed - the perception may have been somewhat different. As I said, if you throw something open to a public forum you have to accept, to an extent, different perceptions, interpretations and opinions will follow and they may not all agree with you. I accept different perceptions, interpretations and opinions. I love a good debate. And generally in asking a question I am actively welcoming those things. What I don't accept is a total stranger telling me how I feel/think. I just seen this and clearly you took offence to a comment I made in a thread of yours yesterday to the extent that you've begun a new one as a result. I made an observation based on what you wrote and what I know of fab and its intricacies. I'm sorry if it didn't agree with you but it wasn't an insult or a projection, but merely my interpretation of what I read. I was not nasty or insulting. I don't know you, and to my knowledge we haven't interacted before. I have nothing against you either. As stated by someone else, every time you comment on an open forum you may get responses you disagree with and don't like. I've received far worse for posts and have received nasty pm from people i've never interacted with off the back of comments i've posted before. Not worried in the slightest about it. Nor do I require public reassurance on an open forum from my friends about it either. If you prefer an environment completely free of contentious opinions, the echo chambers of group chats with like minded people are preferable
Actually it was more to do with my thread this morning that Lu posted this just so were clear , cheers
He's right...it was his thread that prompted this one.
Though there have been many lately that have added to my pondering.
You weren't the only person on my thread to question my motives even tho I'd been clear about them. So make no mistake, this isn't about you.
I've been using these forums for 13 years and am quite aware of how they work.
I simply dislike the way some humans interact.
No hard feelings from my end regarding your comment on my thread. A lot of what you concluded wasn't correct, but that's allowed. "I'm glad that's cleared up. I don't see the need for any contentious or nasty behaviour. It was my interpretation, you've said otherwise, that's fine. | |||
"Whilst of course being curious is perfectly ok, I think sometimes it comes down to how that "curiosity" is framed, as quite often an element of reading between the lines indicates there's more to the "curiosity" than just idle ponderings. To use the example of your thread yesterday as a good example OP - while it *may* have been simply idle curiosity about the different experiences between a single profile and a couples profile - I can see why, by some, it may have been taken as more than "idle curiosity", and that there was a level of "botheredness" about the less messages and Fabs you are now getting, and possibly that it was even a veiled/subconscious "look at me" thread from the way it was framed, regardless of the fact you stated it wasn't. I'm not saying those perceptions were either right or wrong (only you know the actual answer to that) just that I can see how some would have that perception, and ultimately if you post a thread on an open forum you throw it open to individual perceptions, interpretations and opinion for people to comment how they see fit, and have to accept that not everyone will perceive things the same, have the same interpretation or share the same opinion as you - that's after all the nature of a forum. But see, that's my issue. On that thread, I was very clear. Yet people still presume to know my thoughts and feelings better than I do. I don't like the projection. Question things by all means...but to assume and make it out to be something different is a twatty move imo. Whilst you may *think* you were clear, it all still comes back to individual perception and interpretation though - I've just re-read your OP there and yes you go to great lengths to say "I'm not bothered" but people (who ultimately don't know you to know for themselves how sincere you are in those words) will perceive it how they perceive it on a public forum, and if they perceive it as "methinks thou doeth protest too much" - then they will. It's not projecting or assuming anything - it's perception and interpretation of what and how you have worded your post. Had you of simply posted "Has anyone else noticed a difference between being on a singles profile and a couples profile here? I've noticed a few things but curious to know the experience of others" and then thrown it open to the floor, interjecting with your own experiences as the thread developed - the perception may have been somewhat different. As I said, if you throw something open to a public forum you have to accept, to an extent, different perceptions, interpretations and opinions will follow and they may not all agree with you. I accept different perceptions, interpretations and opinions. I love a good debate. And generally in asking a question I am actively welcoming those things. What I don't accept is a total stranger telling me how I feel/think. I just seen this and clearly you took offence to a comment I made in a thread of yours yesterday to the extent that you've begun a new one as a result. I made an observation based on what you wrote and what I know of fab and its intricacies. I'm sorry if it didn't agree with you but it wasn't an insult or a projection, but merely my interpretation of what I read. I was not nasty or insulting. I don't know you, and to my knowledge we haven't interacted before. I have nothing against you either. As stated by someone else, every time you comment on an open forum you may get responses you disagree with and don't like. I've received far worse for posts and have received nasty pm from people i've never interacted with off the back of comments i've posted before. Not worried in the slightest about it. Nor do I require public reassurance on an open forum from my friends about it either. If you prefer an environment completely free of contentious opinions, the echo chambers of group chats with like minded people are preferable
Actually it was more to do with my thread this morning that Lu posted this just so were clear , cheers
He's right...it was his thread that prompted this one.
Though there have been many lately that have added to my pondering.
You weren't the only person on my thread to question my motives even tho I'd been clear about them. So make no mistake, this isn't about you.
I've been using these forums for 13 years and am quite aware of how they work.
I simply dislike the way some humans interact.
No hard feelings from my end regarding your comment on my thread. A lot of what you concluded wasn't correct, but that's allowed.
I'm glad that's cleared up. I don't see the need for any contentious or nasty behaviour. It was my interpretation, you've said otherwise, that's fine. "Totally agree. Nothing wrong with a difference of opinion or a healthy debate. | |||
"This thread wasn't about my thread so that point is rather moot here. We'll have to agree to disagree on this...i see no sense in going around in circles to no end. "Not entirely moot as it's still relevant to your OP on this thread but agree the circles are getting ever more concentric and the relevant points have been made | |||
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"Curiosity killed the cat" Not if it's Schrödinger's cat  | |||
"Curiosity killed the cat Not if it's Schrödinger's cat " | |||
"Curiosity killed the cat Not if it's Schrödinger's cat " | |||
