FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Being deceitful to get sex
Being deceitful to get sex
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why do folks lie to get meets or sex?
(Yes i know pandemic noone should be meeting)
Im just asking the question what purpose does it serve? Why tell someone you're single but in actuality you're hiding a partner or spouse? Surely it better to be honest so everyone can make informed decisions...
Is it power games or lazyness or fear or thrill? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do folks lie to get meets or sex?
(Yes i know pandemic noone should be meeting)
Im just asking the question what purpose does it serve? Why tell someone you're single but in actuality you're hiding a partner or spouse? Surely it better to be honest so everyone can make informed decisions...
Is it power games or lazyness or fear or thrill? "
None
It's quite simply a case of saying anything you can to get your leg over |
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"Why do folks lie to get meets or sex?
(Yes i know pandemic noone should be meeting)
Im just asking the question what purpose does it serve? Why tell someone you're single but in actuality you're hiding a partner or spouse? Surely it better to be honest so everyone can make informed decisions...
Is it power games or lazyness or fear or thrill? "
I have friends on here and the stories are unbelievable. But one guy finally admitted he was married and wanted you to come over when he wife was working nights... Kids in the next room.. Wtf is wrong with people |
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"Because lying gets them what they want. And the fall out of their actions matters not to them."
Pretty much this as sad as it is.
They can't think too highly of themselves if they think telling the truth will mean they don't get as far.
What a wank existence. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Because lying gets them what they want. And the fall out of their actions matters not to them.
Pretty much this as sad as it is.
They can't think too highly of themselves if they think telling the truth will mean they don't get as far.
What a wank existence. "
Very true! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s even worse than that men have straight and only looking for woman and couples
And still message me looking for meets and when questioned about it it’s one off 2 bs lines
I am bi but no one knows it’s just incase friends find my profile
Woman and couples don’t really meet bi guys or guys who have meet tv/ts/cd but I am in to them you can be my dirty little secret
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do folks lie to get meets or sex?
(Yes i know pandemic noone should be meeting)
Im just asking the question what purpose does it serve? Why tell someone you're single but in actuality you're hiding a partner or spouse? Surely it better to be honest so everyone can make informed decisions...
Is it power games or lazyness or fear or thrill? "
It's just so they can get their leg over, have as many women as possible so they are never short on options, maybe because they can't stand the thought of having nothing and and would be lonely or sexless. Personally I think liars are the most insecure people.
Seems like a lot of effort to go to for sex imo.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I actually had this at the hand of a woman! I dated her casually for 6 months but always at my place or village bars away from where we lived. Told me she had kids with issues so didn't want to get serious or have me at her place.
Went to my works summer BBQ, and there she was with her husband (also my boss). Turned out it was a hotwife scenario and she had been told to fuck me by him. Also found out that day another lad from work had been told the same and she was fucking him too.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can’t abide liars. Too many on here. No second chances with me. If you’re attached it’s nobody’s business on here but if you’re meeting or potentially meeting someone then for goodness sake be honest with them about it and let them decide for themselves whether to go ahead. |
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I've no need to lie, all it does is back fire once you get found out.
Having said that being honest has not got me anywhere fast!
I can see why the desperados do it, I just hope they are easily seen through. |
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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago
milton keynes |
"Why do folks lie to get meets or sex?
(Yes i know pandemic noone should be meeting)
Im just asking the question what purpose does it serve? Why tell someone you're single but in actuality you're hiding a partner or spouse? Surely it better to be honest so everyone can make informed decisions...
Is it power games or lazyness or fear or thrill? "
The answer is obvious |
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"Because lying gets them what they want. And the fall out of their actions matters not to them.
Pretty much this as sad as it is.
They can't think too highly of themselves if they think telling the truth will mean they don't get as far.
What a wank existence.
Very true! "
Gotta be an even bigger kick in the knackersack/minge when they can't get any interest even after changing the truth to something they think sounds better 
Cunts |
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Rhere is nothing i hate morr thsn
Lyin chestin 2timin shits on here
Shaggin behind thrir own wifes/gfs shoein no respect to thrm
I cud catch them out big timr
U can aleays tell the lyin shits on thrir profile
God they must soon run out of excuses with their wives/gfs to get out the house every dsy
Thry must judt be some real dumb fuckers who see through their partners
I hope all them 2timin shits get caught out one day
THEN SEE WHO HAS THE LADT LAFF THEN
HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY WITH ME
LYIN WILL GET U KNOW WERE
SO FUCKIN GROW UP
UR NOT KIDS NO MORE
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"Rhere is nothing i hate morr thsn
Lyin chestin 2timin shits on here
Shaggin behind thrir own wifes/gfs shoein no respect to thrm
I cud catch them out big timr
U can aleays tell the lyin shits on thrir profile
God they must soon run out of excuses with their wives/gfs to get out the house every dsy
Thry must judt be some real dumb fuckers who see through their partners
I hope all them 2timin shits get caught out one day
THEN SEE WHO HAS THE LADT LAFF THEN
HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY WITH ME
LYIN WILL GET U KNOW WERE
SO FUCKIN GROW UP
UR NOT KIDS NO MORE
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Rhere is nothing i hate morr thsn
Lyin chestin 2timin shits on here
Shaggin behind thrir own wifes/gfs shoein no respect to thrm
I cud catch them out big timr
U can aleays tell the lyin shits on thrir profile
God they must soon run out of excuses with their wives/gfs to get out the house every dsy
Thry must judt be some real dumb fuckers who see through their partners
I hope all them 2timin shits get caught out one day
THEN SEE WHO HAS THE LADT LAFF THEN
HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY WITH ME
LYIN WILL GET U KNOW WERE
SO FUCKIN GROW UP
UR NOT KIDS NO MORE
"
Agree  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I actually had this at the hand of a woman! I dated her casually for 6 months but always at my place or village bars away from where we lived. Told me she had kids with issues so didn't want to get serious or have me at her place.
Went to my works summer BBQ, and there she was with her husband (also my boss). Turned out it was a hotwife scenario and she had been told to fuck me by him. Also found out that day another lad from work had been told the same and she was fucking him too. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because they want to have a greater range of choices on here, as soon as an intended meet states a preference, the profiles are changed in order to meet that preference"
That's why I never state what I'm looking for on my profile. People just say what they want you to hear.
E.g. If people say they are cheater friendly then the cheater won't hide it.  |
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It's happening everywhere and especially online, where a small cock magically grows, people get around age filters etc.
Some people want what they can't have and manipulate things to get it. The guy who gets to the gym and diets, to lose weight and potentially to get dates he wants, is ethical. Married men won't alter the circumstances, so lie.
Many would like no questions asked, no strings attached sex, like walking into an orgy and picking and fucking the partners you want. That scenario isn't too freely around |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On a site like this you have to take everything with a pinch of salt. A lot of things your told might be lies, just the nature of meeting people online. We are all strangers at the end of the day, have to just take people at face value and hope for the best |
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By *rian4uMan
over a year ago
London |
Of course, I will still respect you in the morning.
I like a long engagement.
Of course I would like a church wedding.
Is this the queue I join to get married and lose half my stuff when you find someone else? |
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People want sex. Like, *really* want sex.
If they can't get it without lying, they will start to lie.
That's it. It's that simple.
That's the answer to most of the "Why do men do X?" threads on here. |
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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago
'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks |
It's because they are cunts.
I had one recently, and after I caught him out I explained to him that he had armed me with enough personal info that I could completely ruin him...I haven't and wouldn't, but I could...and still he persisted...its like he wants to get caught!
Behind every crazy bitch is at least one mans lies that have driven her to it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's because they are cunts.
I had one recently, and after I caught him out I explained to him that he had armed me with enough personal info that I could completely ruin him...I haven't and wouldn't, but I could...and still he persisted...its like he wants to get caught!
Behind every crazy bitch is at least one mans lies that have driven her to it "
It’s a crazy bitch who could do that though and hurt someone’s children in the process. No matter what someone did to me I couldn’t do that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't understand why some people get so annoyed about liars on a supposedly sex site.
We all take responsibility for our own actions and nobody owns our bodies or minds.
For me my kink is about escapism and the real world is completely irrelevant to me.
If someone chooses to tell me about their personal life then fine but in reality, I'm not really interested.
So if someone is cheating on a partner and they tell you that's being honest ?
Then you decide if you want to fuck the person being honest with you but not their partner.
The cheater is only trying to ease their conscience by telling you the truth, anyone who thinks otherwise is deluded.
I'm a great believer in some things are best not knowing about in life, simply not my problem.
I treat everyone in the adult scene equally their circumstances have no influence on me. Obviously this site is far from a sex site anymore there lies ( no pun intended ) the problem possibly.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't understand why some people get so annoyed about liars on a supposedly sex site.
We all take responsibility for our own actions and nobody owns our bodies or minds.
For me my kink is about escapism and the real world is completely irrelevant to me.
If someone chooses to tell me about their personal life then fine but in reality, I'm not really interested.
So if someone is cheating on a partner and they tell you that's being honest ?
Then you decide if you want to fuck the person being honest with you but not their partner.
The cheater is only trying to ease their conscience by telling you the truth, anyone who thinks otherwise is deluded.
I'm a great believer in some things are best not knowing about in life, simply not my problem.
I treat everyone in the adult scene equally their circumstances have no influence on me. Obviously this site is far from a sex site anymore there lies ( no pun intended ) the problem possibly.
"
It is a swinging site not a sex site. Thats what knackers it up for single guys on here. You think we are your pussy on tap when most guys do not get a chance as we suss out your main motivation. That's why we have blocked single guys on here. I was cheated on by my ex hubby and the hurt that caused put me off men for many years. Only now that i hzve a totally selfless man is my faith restored. If the cheaters spent invest more time on their wives they might get good sex again! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It is a swinging site not a sex site. Thats what knackers it up for single guys on here. You think we are your pussy on tap when most guys do not get a chance as we suss out your main motivation. That's why we have blocked single guys on here. I was cheated on by my ex hubby and the hurt that caused put me off men for many years. Only now that i hzve a totally selfless man is my faith restored. If the cheaters spent invest more time on their wives they might get good sex again! "
Doesn't swinging involve sex?
And isn’t most folks motivation on here to ultimately meet someone to have sex with? Regardless of the finer details |
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I remember when I used to pull in bars and clubs and it was absolutely no different then - there is a way of thinking that getting their ends away justifies their means, and to hell with the consequences.
It's just easier online to hide the reality a bit longer. In a bar a guy who is 5'8" is obviously 5'8", online he can be 6'1" until he's persuaded you that height isn't important and you should give him a chance anyway.
I could carefully crop and filter photos and claim to look like Cindy Crawford - in a bar I'm very obviously not, online I can maintain a fiction for a while.
If you say you won't meet married guys suddenly some married guys will get amnesia when it comes to their spouse. If you won't play with someone who plays bareback suddenly the woman you're chatting to forgets that she pulled a ten man bareback train last week.
If your sole aim is a shag, then why stress about the fall-out afterwards?
Not everyone on here has the same motivation. Not everyone is looking for more than hit it and quit it. Consequences of the truth coming out only matter if you're looking for something ongoing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's funny the two sides of things in here lol
Guys: Literally, sex.
Women:lol why would you lie for sex
Women *not even wanting attention*
5000 guys: sex?
Guys *sending 5000 messages and not getting a response*
Woman: Sorry you missed a comma, jesus at least know how to use grammar and punctuation if you are going to waste my time with your message!
Moral being, women in general can snap their fingers and have all the sex they want. Especially now, guys have to work so much harder for it, if a guy is attached it slims the options even further. Hes here for sex at the end of the day not to become your best friend. |
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EVERYONE lies. It is the intention and even more, the consequence that matters.
To narrow it down specifically for Fab: A one-off meet you had great sex with had lied to you about their marital status. Are you annoyed? Maybe. Did it mean the sex was not as good? No. Are you injured? No (hopefully)
We are just like other animals. We preen, we prance and pose to get what we want.
The difference is what happens next. Assuming no physical harm done - do you learn from it and decide to not care or change your approach to make it less likely to happen again? Or do you act on your *annoyance* and seek to out the behaviour, to damage the individual and possibly their family, all the while blaming the liar for your actions. If you do take this approach, make sure you are consistant.
Don't put on make-up
Don't wear clothes that flatter you, show your money, or good taste
Don't take pictures that show your best side or tidy your house before a meet
Don't embellish your profile
Don't think of what others may think or care at ANY time.
Because all of that is about telling a story you want others to believe, about you and your world. A curated reality you present for others consumption, to be funnier, slimmer, richer or a better lover. Small harmless lies to help us interact and grow and become those things, but lies nonetheless.
And of course we all HATE lies, don't we...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s online so it doesn’t really count right?
Let’s be honest here a lot of men here just want to get their dick wet so will say many things to get that. If they were all honest then they wouldn’t get what they came here for.
But I’ve encountered plenty of women looking to cheat and lied about being single not just here. So neither one of us men or women are any better.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't understand why some people get so annoyed about liars on a supposedly sex site.
We all take responsibility for our own actions and nobody owns our bodies or minds.
For me my kink is about escapism and the real world is completely irrelevant to me.
If someone chooses to tell me about their personal life then fine but in reality, I'm not really interested.
So if someone is cheating on a partner and they tell you that's being honest ?
Then you decide if you want to fuck the person being honest with you but not their partner.
The cheater is only trying to ease their conscience by telling you the truth, anyone who thinks otherwise is deluded.
I'm a great believer in some things are best not knowing about in life, simply not my problem.
I treat everyone in the adult scene equally their circumstances have no influence on me. Obviously this site is far from a sex site anymore there lies ( no pun intended ) the problem possibly.
"
I can relate to this a lot and agree with a lot of it. But... If you fuck someone that has a partner they are cheating on your own conscience is then not clear. And what about the safety aspect? If said partner finds out and is hurt and angry and tracks you down you could end up very harmed. And no one wants that especially if that extends to family etc.
Me. Personally, I wouldn't like to be the woman that someone else found out about and ended up very hurt by and the relationship ended. I wouldn't want to have it done to me either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"EVERYONE lies. It is the intention and even more, the consequence that matters.
To narrow it down specifically for Fab: A one-off meet you had great sex with had lied to you about their marital status. Are you annoyed? Maybe. Did it mean the sex was not as good? No. Are you injured? No (hopefully)
We are just like other animals. We preen, we prance and pose to get what we want.
The difference is what happens next. Assuming no physical harm done - do you learn from it and decide to not care or change your approach to make it less likely to happen again? Or do you act on your *annoyance* and seek to out the behaviour, to damage the individual and possibly their family, all the while blaming the liar for your actions. If you do take this approach, make sure you are consistant.
Don't put on make-up
Don't wear clothes that flatter you, show your money, or good taste
Don't take pictures that show your best side or tidy your house before a meet
Don't embellish your profile
Don't think of what others may think or care at ANY time.
Because all of that is about telling a story you want others to believe, about you and your world. A curated reality you present for others consumption, to be funnier, slimmer, richer or a better lover. Small harmless lies to help us interact and grow and become those things, but lies nonetheless.
And of course we all HATE lies, don't we... "
Brilliant!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I see it this way
It’s a swingers site and therefore carries an assumption that it’s a site where people meet up for casual sex not a site where you are looking for a partner
Is it really therefore such a shock that a guy may claim to be single when he isn’t
I find it strange that so many women put in a no married or partnered men clause?
Is it just that in doing so they are trying to set a standard of acceptability as they wouldn’t want their partners cheating on them?
Can you feasibly set such a standard if you are on a second site advertising for sex?
I think the moral issue lies with the guys, who will have reason or justification (no matter how implausible)for being on here
In my experience of both sexes, a lie is a lie to a guy and he deals with it
Women have many grades of lies of which most are acceptable in certain situations
So my summary is that it’s a little naive to expect honesty on a second site |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I see it this way
It’s a swingers site and therefore carries an assumption that it’s a site where people meet up for casual sex not a site where you are looking for a partner
Is it really therefore such a shock that a guy may claim to be single when he isn’t
I find it strange that so many women put in a no married or partnered men clause?
Is it just that in doing so they are trying to set a standard of acceptability as they wouldn’t want their partners cheating on them?
Can you feasibly set such a standard if you are on a sex site advertising for sex?
I think the moral issue lies with the guys, who will have reason or justification (no matter how implausible)for being on here
In my experience of both sexes, a lie is a lie to a guy and he deals with it
Women have many grades of lies of which most are acceptable in certain situations
So my summary is that it’s a little naive to expect honesty on a sex site |
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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago
'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks |
Most things based on lies turns toxic eventually, be it a casual liaison or a full blown relationship so yes it does matter if you lie to get your dick wet.
I dont personally want to knowingly be the potential reason for someone elses world coming crashing down when they catch their husband out cos hes got no respect for his partner
The fallout from being that injured party in that scenatio can totally fuck your head up for years and caused many psychological issues - why the fuck would anybody want to be responsible for crushing the person they are meant to love? |
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"It's because they are cunts.
I had one recently, and after I caught him out I explained to him that he had armed me with enough personal info that I could completely ruin him...I haven't and wouldn't, but I could...and still he persisted...its like he wants to get caught!
Behind every crazy bitch is at least one mans lies that have driven her to it "
#noteveryman |
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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago
'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks |
"It's because they are cunts.
I had one recently, and after I caught him out I explained to him that he had armed me with enough personal info that I could completely ruin him...I haven't and wouldn't, but I could...and still he persisted...its like he wants to get caught!
Behind every crazy bitch is at least one mans lies that have driven her to it
#noteveryman "
#absolutelynotoriwouldgiveupandbecomeacrazycatlady  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just a means to an end ultimately
Maybe a small percentage have more nefarious reasons but the majority it’s a case of tell people what they want to hear. Do what is needed to increase probability of a fuck .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd imagine 90% of men on here are attached.
And no,girls,you cant tell 'a mile off' so drop your hard woman act.
I always lie on here.
Everybody lies.
Are you comments anything but negative? "
Honest. |
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