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Arguement with best mate
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By *iddylad87 OP Man
over a year ago
kidderminster |
An arguement with my best mate culminated in her telling me not to message back,
And me saying I wouldn’t as I was deleting her number. I didn’t, but my question is do I reach out? And text her to see how she is or do I leave it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I mean.. we don’t know (I don’t really want to either) the reason behind said argument.
If you’re like actual friends? Of course reach out. If she’s just someone fucked once and she’s said leave her alone, prob best to. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"An arguement with my best mate culminated in her telling me not to message back,
And me saying I wouldn’t as I was deleting her number. I didn’t, but my question is do I reach out? And text her to see how she is or do I leave it? "
Best mate yes sweety reach out and soon xx x x |
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By *iddylad87 OP Man
over a year ago
kidderminster |
"I mean.. we don’t know (I don’t really want to either) the reason behind said argument.
If you’re like actual friends? Of course reach out. If she’s just someone fucked once and she’s said leave her alone, prob best to. "
We have been really close for four years, it was just a petty arguement, because I’d asked to see her on my birthday and she refused due to the teir restrictions which I kinda understood, but it still hurt.
The arguement was last thurs, should I leave her a little longer? To cool off? |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"I mean.. we don’t know (I don’t really want to either) the reason behind said argument.
If you’re like actual friends? Of course reach out. If she’s just someone fucked once and she’s said leave her alone, prob best to.
We have been really close for four years, it was just a petty arguement, because I’d asked to see her on my birthday and she refused due to the teir restrictions which I kinda understood, but it still hurt.
The arguement was last thurs, should I leave her a little longer? To cool off?"
Phone her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I mean.. we don’t know (I don’t really want to either) the reason behind said argument.
If you’re like actual friends? Of course reach out. If she’s just someone fucked once and she’s said leave her alone, prob best to.
We have been really close for four years, it was just a petty arguement, because I’d asked to see her on my birthday and she refused due to the teir restrictions which I kinda understood, but it still hurt.
The arguement was last thurs, should I leave her a little longer? To cool off?"
If it was me I would ring or text yes.
Things will have cooled off by now.
But always start with an apology  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The term "best mate" would intonate that this was a truly long lasting and meaningful friendship.
I'm no great sage. Actually, I'm an introvert and a recluse. Who am I to offer any opinion on this subject....but for what it's worth, I would say.....
First thing is...do not act rashly. That is never a good idea. Do not delete her number. What is the point of that because what is the harm in having it sit there quietly for now.
When things have calmed down and you are able to reflect on the better times, on why she was your best friend and you miss her, really miss her as a friend, not just the lass you had some laughs with, then it's time to reach out but whether she is receptive to it yet, that's what you'll have to manage from thereon.
Is this friendship worth throwing away based on what has happened? |
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By *iddylad87 OP Man
over a year ago
kidderminster |
"I mean.. we don’t know (I don’t really want to either) the reason behind said argument.
If you’re like actual friends? Of course reach out. If she’s just someone fucked once and she’s said leave her alone, prob best to.
We have been really close for four years, it was just a petty arguement, because I’d asked to see her on my birthday and she refused due to the teir restrictions which I kinda understood, but it still hurt.
The arguement was last thurs, should I leave her a little longer? To cool off?
Phone her"
This years just been a shit show hasn’t it? It’s pushed everyone away from each other
And I can’t call her I’m a very emotional person and it will just culminate in one thing |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"I mean.. we don’t know (I don’t really want to either) the reason behind said argument.
If you’re like actual friends? Of course reach out. If she’s just someone fucked once and she’s said leave her alone, prob best to.
We have been really close for four years, it was just a petty arguement, because I’d asked to see her on my birthday and she refused due to the teir restrictions which I kinda understood, but it still hurt.
The arguement was last thurs, should I leave her a little longer? To cool off?
Phone her
This years just been a shit show hasn’t it? It’s pushed everyone away from each other
And I can’t call her I’m a very emotional person and it will just culminate in one thing"
exactly so make up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I mean.. we don’t know (I don’t really want to either) the reason behind said argument.
If you’re like actual friends? Of course reach out. If she’s just someone fucked once and she’s said leave her alone, prob best to.
We have been really close for four years, it was just a petty arguement, because I’d asked to see her on my birthday and she refused due to the teir restrictions which I kinda understood, but it still hurt.
The arguement was last thurs, should I leave her a little longer? To cool off?
If it was me I would ring or text yes.
Things will have cooled off by now.
But always start with an apology "
My darling, I've missed you. Where's my half of the strawberry? |
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By *iddylad87 OP Man
over a year ago
kidderminster |
"I mean.. we don’t know (I don’t really want to either) the reason behind said argument.
If you’re like actual friends? Of course reach out. If she’s just someone fucked once and she’s said leave her alone, prob best to.
We have been really close for four years, it was just a petty arguement, because I’d asked to see her on my birthday and she refused due to the teir restrictions which I kinda understood, but it still hurt.
The arguement was last thurs, should I leave her a little longer? To cool off?
Phone her
This years just been a shit show hasn’t it? It’s pushed everyone away from each other
And I can’t call her I’m a very emotional person and it will just culminate in one thing
exactly so make up"
Like seriously this has affected me way more than any break up ever has.
I’m not eating or sleeping, not enjoying what I used to. |
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By *iddylad87 OP Man
over a year ago
kidderminster |
"I'm one to never take things that seriously she wouldn't meet you because of the virus so just make up or you might regret it if you dont just say sorry
1 word sorry."
I’ve sent the text, will see if anything comes of it |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"I'm one to never take things that seriously she wouldn't meet you because of the virus so just make up or you might regret it if you dont just say sorry
1 word sorry.
I’ve sent the text, will see if anything comes of it "
Good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Like seriously this has affected me way more than any break up ever has.
I’m not eating or sleeping, not enjoying what I used to."
Reach out soon and make sure you let her vent at you if she needs to, whosever's fault you consider it to be. The objective to get back on track first. Swallow your ego and pride if need be. There will be a chance later to discuss how you might've reacted better. |
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"
Like seriously this has affected me way more than any break up ever has.
I’m not eating or sleeping, not enjoying what I used to."
Call her and apologise.
Although i think the tier system and Covid restrictions are stupid, I respect anyones decision to follow them.
And as you claim she is your best friend, you really should have respected hers.
Call her and tell her you were selfish and you are sorry.
If she's not interested just leave it and walk away, she obviously didn't see you as her best friend so no point chasing her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And I can’t call her I’m a very emotional person and it will just culminate in one thing
Boom box under the window?
Careless whisper?
Should of known better than to cheat a friend "
Is it still too soon to suggest ‘You Take My Breath Away’ by
Eva Cassidy? *backs away slowly*
(I’ve been isolating since March. Damn my lungs  ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm one to never take things that seriously she wouldn't meet you because of the virus so just make up or you might regret it if you dont just say sorry
1 word sorry.
I’ve sent the text, will see if anything comes of it "
Erm...all right. I would've gone with something a little more personal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm one to never take things that seriously she wouldn't meet you because of the virus so just make up or you might regret it if you dont just say sorry
1 word sorry.
I’ve sent the text, will see if anything comes of it
Erm...all right. I would've gone with something a little more personal."
....like sorry for..... |
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By *iddylad87 OP Man
over a year ago
kidderminster |
"I'm one to never take things that seriously she wouldn't meet you because of the virus so just make up or you might regret it if you dont just say sorry
1 word sorry.
I’ve sent the text, will see if anything comes of it
Erm...all right. I would've gone with something a little more personal.
....like sorry for....."
I’ve just said sorry, don’t want to lose you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And I can’t call her I’m a very emotional person and it will just culminate in one thing
Boom box under the window?
Careless whisper?
Should of known better than to cheat a friend
Is it still too soon to suggest ‘You Take My Breath Away’ by
Eva Cassidy? *backs away slowly*
(I’ve been isolating since March. Damn my lungs )"
 Good dramatic effects. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm one to never take things that seriously she wouldn't meet you because of the virus so just make up or you might regret it if you dont just say sorry
1 word sorry.
I’ve sent the text, will see if anything comes of it
Erm...all right. I would've gone with something a little more personal.
....like sorry for.....
I’ve just said sorry, don’t want to lose you"
Woah....Nice!! |
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By *iddylad87 OP Man
over a year ago
kidderminster |
"I'm one to never take things that seriously she wouldn't meet you because of the virus so just make up or you might regret it if you dont just say sorry
1 word sorry.
I’ve sent the text, will see if anything comes of it
Erm...all right. I would've gone with something a little more personal.
....like sorry for.....
I’ve just said sorry, don’t want to lose you
Woah....Nice!!"
What else can I say |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm one to never take things that seriously she wouldn't meet you because of the virus so just make up or you might regret it if you dont just say sorry
1 word sorry.
I’ve sent the text, will see if anything comes of it
Erm...all right. I would've gone with something a little more personal.
....like sorry for.....
I’ve just said sorry, don’t want to lose you
Woah....Nice!!
What else can I say "
You've reached out. Let your heart dictate the rest. She may not be ready to respond yet or she may rush back. Just wait and see first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"FYI, we’re not counsellors (probably). So hopefully it’ll go ok. If not.. probably best to ask someone different. "
It would be a good testing ground for your music theory at least. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"However, I think the ladies above have given you what advice you need."
Better advice than this plonker, rands.cambs, and I. No offence old chap but you only need look at what we're suggesting......Let us away to the pub for a pint, having done the minimal damage we can wreak. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When my fiancée gave me the ultimatum between her or my bf at the time (and she was ex before him), I was told not to call her ever again.
She called back a week later as she didn’t know how to switch the oven on in her new flat. Sneaky trick |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When my fiancée gave me the ultimatum between her or my bf at the time (and she was ex before him), I was told not to call her ever again.
She called back a week later as she didn’t know how to switch the oven on in her new flat. Sneaky trick "
Sly one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Balls in her court now"
Not entirely....obviously, it varies wildly from one woman to the next...there, got the stating-the-obvious out of the way, she may not be fully receptive to an apology yet. Depending on how bad the argument was, it may require another shot; a second, deeper more personal apology, stating what she means to you type. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"However, I think the ladies above have given you what advice you need.
Better advice than this plonker, rands.cambs, and I. No offence old chap but you only need look at what we're suggesting......Let us away to the pub for a pint, having done the minimal damage we can wreak."
Well we can do a bit more in-depth?
Find the initial cause of said argument. Sorry bud, but evidence of live provided shows you were on the wrong for what you asked. It’s literally the law and hats off to her.
So next step is accepting you were in the wrong and the reasons why. If you can do this? Great. If not? Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Next step would be to vocalise it to said friend in a way that is appropriate. As by your username that you are a fellows 80s child and the boom box reference should bring back fond memories of when we didn’t know how well we had it just going to school each day and Cadbury creme eggs were so much bigger. Comical or nostalgic references may help break down any walls she may have put up. Although you and her may have no idea what I’m on about so you may have to tweak it a bit.
And then just explain you’re sorry. Personally (not saying you are) I’d have said something like “I’m sorry I was such a twat. I’m not doing too well at the moment and with my birthday I just needed to see/talk to you. I’m sorry as I realise it was selfish, but can we catch up, safely, when we can and catch up?”
Don’t lie though. Never lie (although, I’m jealous you can).
Once done you’ll either receive forgiveness or a tirade of colourful words. Chocolate, alcohol or other materials may help it towards the former.
If it doesn’t work. Respect her. It might just take time. Or never. But respect her. What do I mea by respect but give time?I texted my fiancée happy birthday every year for 11yrs with no response until the last. Then finally, she lost the will and decided to marry me.. I mean decided to start taking to me again after I was a twat and broke up with her really shitly.
COVID is shit. It’s affecting everyone. I’ve left the house maybe once every other week since March and that’s to go to click and collect at tesco. I was able to work from home but my carpel tunnel surgery was postponed from March to (initially indefinitely) November. Not making your issue about me, just showing that you’re not the only one that’s dealing with suit and talking helps. Well.. my brain doesn’t actually process I’m depressed but there’s way more cons than pros trust me.
See. I can help. It’s almost as if I listened during the psychological lessons or interpersonal relationships and apologies.
Oh. One thing though. And I’m not saying this is what it is. But just incase it is. Friendzones. No such thing. |
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By *iddylad87 OP Man
over a year ago
kidderminster |
"However, I think the ladies above have given you what advice you need.
Better advice than this plonker, rands.cambs, and I. No offence old chap but you only need look at what we're suggesting......Let us away to the pub for a pint, having done the minimal damage we can wreak.
Well we can do a bit more in-depth?
Find the initial cause of said argument. Sorry bud, but evidence of live provided shows you were on the wrong for what you asked. It’s literally the law and hats off to her.
So next step is accepting you were in the wrong and the reasons why. If you can do this? Great. If not? Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Next step would be to vocalise it to said friend in a way that is appropriate. As by your username that you are a fellows 80s child and the boom box reference should bring back fond memories of when we didn’t know how well we had it just going to school each day and Cadbury creme eggs were so much bigger. Comical or nostalgic references may help break down any walls she may have put up. Although you and her may have no idea what I’m on about so you may have to tweak it a bit.
And then just explain you’re sorry. Personally (not saying you are) I’d have said something like “I’m sorry I was such a twat. I’m not doing too well at the moment and with my birthday I just needed to see/talk to you. I’m sorry as I realise it was selfish, but can we catch up, safely, when we can and catch up?”
Don’t lie though. Never lie (although, I’m jealous you can).
Once done you’ll either receive forgiveness or a tirade of colourful words. Chocolate, alcohol or other materials may help it towards the former.
If it doesn’t work. Respect her. It might just take time. Or never. But respect her. What do I mea by respect but give time?I texted my fiancée happy birthday every year for 11yrs with no response until the last. Then finally, she lost the will and decided to marry me.. I mean decided to start taking to me again after I was a twat and broke up with her really shitly.
COVID is shit. It’s affecting everyone. I’ve left the house maybe once every other week since March and that’s to go to click and collect at tesco. I was able to work from home but my carpel tunnel surgery was postponed from March to (initially indefinitely) November. Not making your issue about me, just showing that you’re not the only one that’s dealing with suit and talking helps. Well.. my brain doesn’t actually process I’m depressed but there’s way more cons than pros trust me.
See. I can help. It’s almost as if I listened during the psychological lessons or interpersonal relationships and apologies.
Oh. One thing though. And I’m not saying this is what it is. But just incase it is. Friendzones. No such thing. "
Thanks for your advice  appreciate it.
No such thing as a friend zone? What you mean? Xx |
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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
"However, I think the ladies above have given you what advice you need.
Better advice than this plonker, rands.cambs, and I. No offence old chap but you only need look at what we're suggesting......Let us away to the pub for a pint, having done the minimal damage we can wreak.
Well we can do a bit more in-depth?
Find the initial cause of said argument. Sorry bud, but evidence of live provided shows you were on the wrong for what you asked. It’s literally the law and hats off to her.
So next step is accepting you were in the wrong and the reasons why. If you can do this? Great. If not? Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Next step would be to vocalise it to said friend in a way that is appropriate. As by your username that you are a fellows 80s child and the boom box reference should bring back fond memories of when we didn’t know how well we had it just going to school each day and Cadbury creme eggs were so much bigger. Comical or nostalgic references may help break down any walls she may have put up. Although you and her may have no idea what I’m on about so you may have to tweak it a bit.
And then just explain you’re sorry. Personally (not saying you are) I’d have said something like “I’m sorry I was such a twat. I’m not doing too well at the moment and with my birthday I just needed to see/talk to you. I’m sorry as I realise it was selfish, but can we catch up, safely, when we can and catch up?”
Don’t lie though. Never lie (although, I’m jealous you can).
Once done you’ll either receive forgiveness or a tirade of colourful words. Chocolate, alcohol or other materials may help it towards the former.
If it doesn’t work. Respect her. It might just take time. Or never. But respect her. What do I mea by respect but give time?I texted my fiancée happy birthday every year for 11yrs with no response until the last. Then finally, she lost the will and decided to marry me.. I mean decided to start taking to me again after I was a twat and broke up with her really shitly.
COVID is shit. It’s affecting everyone. I’ve left the house maybe once every other week since March and that’s to go to click and collect at tesco. I was able to work from home but my carpel tunnel surgery was postponed from March to (initially indefinitely) November. Not making your issue about me, just showing that you’re not the only one that’s dealing with suit and talking helps. Well.. my brain doesn’t actually process I’m depressed but there’s way more cons than pros trust me.
See. I can help. It’s almost as if I listened during the psychological lessons or interpersonal relationships and apologies.
Oh. One thing though. And I’m not saying this is what it is. But just incase it is. Friendzones. No such thing.
Thanks for your advice appreciate it.
No such thing as a friend zone? What you mean? Xx"
i disagree there is a thing as a friend zone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i disagree there is a thing as a friend zone "
Crudely, yes it is. But is actually two different. Things.
It’s either someone manipulating someone else or someone using it to explain why every person on the opposite/same sex won’t sleep with them.
And then there’s the third of not taking the hint or the leap and missing out. |
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By *iddylad87 OP Man
over a year ago
kidderminster |
"i disagree there is a thing as a friend zone
Crudely, yes it is. But is actually two different. Things.
It’s either someone manipulating someone else or someone using it to explain why every person on the opposite/same sex won’t sleep with them.
And then there’s the third of not taking the hint or the leap and missing out. "
i took the leap 3 years ago told me she didn’t feel the same
Yet constantly tells me she loves me |
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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
"i disagree there is a thing as a friend zone
Crudely, yes it is. But is actually two different. Things.
It’s either someone manipulating someone else or someone using it to explain why every person on the opposite/same sex won’t sleep with them.
And then there’s the third of not taking the hint or the leap and missing out. i took the leap 3 years ago told me she didn’t feel the same
Yet constantly tells me she loves me"
she might love you but there's different kinds of love , she might love you but not be in love with you , the only person to know this is her |
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By *iddylad87 OP Man
over a year ago
kidderminster |
"i disagree there is a thing as a friend zone
Crudely, yes it is. But is actually two different. Things.
It’s either someone manipulating someone else or someone using it to explain why every person on the opposite/same sex won’t sleep with them. I get that but can you tell without giving it a chance?
And then there’s the third of not taking the hint or the leap and missing out. i took the leap 3 years ago told me she didn’t feel the same
Yet constantly tells me she loves me she might love you but there's different kinds of love , she might love you but not be in love with you , the only person to know this is her "
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"i disagree there is a thing as a friend zone
Crudely, yes it is. But is actually two different. Things.
It’s either someone manipulating someone else or someone using it to explain why every person on the opposite/same sex won’t sleep with them.
And then there’s the third of not taking the hint or the leap and missing out. i took the leap 3 years ago told me she didn’t feel the same
Yet constantly tells me she loves me"
I love my male mates as in I see them as good friends, but I don't love them as in an "in love" kind of way.
You need to listen to what she's telling you and respect it.
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By *iddylad87 OP Man
over a year ago
kidderminster |
"i disagree there is a thing as a friend zone
Crudely, yes it is. But is actually two different. Things.
It’s either someone manipulating someone else or someone using it to explain why every person on the opposite/same sex won’t sleep with them.
And then there’s the third of not taking the hint or the leap and missing out. i took the leap 3 years ago told me she didn’t feel the same
Yet constantly tells me she loves me
I love my male mates as in I see them as good friends, but I don't love them as in an "in love" kind of way.
You need to listen to what she's telling you and respect it.
"
I respect her decision wholeheartedly, I wouldn’t of remained close friends with her for 3 years if I didn’t,
When we argue I turn into a turtle an carry it around on my back all day! Argue with anyone else I forget it instantly |
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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
"i disagree there is a thing as a friend zone
Crudely, yes it is. But is actually two different. Things.
It’s either someone manipulating someone else or someone using it to explain why every person on the opposite/same sex won’t sleep with them.
And then there’s the third of not taking the hint or the leap and missing out. i took the leap 3 years ago told me she didn’t feel the same
Yet constantly tells me she loves me
I love my male mates as in I see them as good friends, but I don't love them as in an "in love" kind of way.
You need to listen to what she's telling you and respect it.
I respect her decision wholeheartedly, I wouldn’t of remained close friends with her for 3 years if I didn’t,
When we argue I turn into a turtle an carry it around on my back all day! Argue with anyone else I forget it instantly "
Are you inlove with her? Do you see her more than just a friend ? |
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By *iddylad87 OP Man
over a year ago
kidderminster |
"i disagree there is a thing as a friend zone
Crudely, yes it is. But is actually two different. Things.
It’s either someone manipulating someone else or someone using it to explain why every person on the opposite/same sex won’t sleep with them.
And then there’s the third of not taking the hint or the leap and missing out. i took the leap 3 years ago told me she didn’t feel the same
Yet constantly tells me she loves me
I love my male mates as in I see them as good friends, but I don't love them as in an "in love" kind of way.
You need to listen to what she's telling you and respect it.
I respect her decision wholeheartedly, I wouldn’t of remained close friends with her for 3 years if I didn’t,
When we argue I turn into a turtle an carry it around on my back all day! Argue with anyone else I forget it instantly
Are you inlove with her? Do you see her more than just a friend ?"
I did at the time, but now I know we will never be more than mates....
I do love her, we’ve had so many arguements and after a few days one of us always apologises, and I’ve always said I’ll always love her for the fact that she hasn’t walked away when it would of been so easy too
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