FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Lie about the person above you
Lie about the person above you
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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And I am finishing this one off, damn you! |
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By *a and kaCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire(ish) |
"And I am finishing this one off, damn you!"
Which is exactly what he said to the albino Welsh hooker he was with last night! |
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Currently looking for an elephant for a "wrist job" with a difference |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Currently looking for an elephant for a "wrist job" with a difference"
Once had a 3way with ozzy n Sharon Osborne |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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has a masiveley engorged right thumb |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"has a masiveley engorged right thumb"
His penis has its own twitter account with followers including dame Edna everige Chris moyles and the Dali lama |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Will always try to drink his pint from a half pint glass......... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is a life long Manchester United fan and has never owned a shell suit! |
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was the inspiration behind the character 'wild bill' from the silence of the lambs film. although didnt murder young women for their skin, instead invented himself a polymer substitue, that would never wrinkle and only needed ironing once in its life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No boobs   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Posts pictures of 'Mr' Frock's freshly waxed arse in skimpies and claims them to be 'Mrs' !! |
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Agoraphobic, extremely shy, even wears a cardigan in the bath in case the lock doesn't work |
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[Removed by poster at 13/07/12 09:47:32] |
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You will win the EuroMillions Lottery this evening  |
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was body double for john wayne in the film the shootist. had to develop a limp and grow an extra finger to enable him to carry it off. nobody knew |
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French kissed the blarney stone and got so wet and horny that she frigged herself off while a coach load of Japanese tourists took pictures
Hubby passed the hat round and was arrested under the dangerous sports act |
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"French kissed the blarney stone and got so wet and horny that she frigged herself off while a coach load of Japanese tourists took pictures
Hubby passed the hat round and was arrested under the dangerous sports act"
once p_nched jonny depp in the eye for 'dissing his bitch'.
was found not guilty by the judgement that the prick is everywhere and it was nice for mr depp to have to go into hiding and allow some other actor to make a film.
however the actor was leanardo dicaprio and the film flopped.
pablo was sued by warner films for $50 million and is now forced into prostution and selling illegally donwloaded panda porn to pay his legal bills. |
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By *a and kaCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire(ish) |
Was the original Freddy from Rod, Jane and Freddy but had to be replaced after being caught taking part in an obscene act with Brian Kant in a paddling pool full of salamanders  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was the original Bungle in Rainbow - but had to retire after an unfortunate accident involving getting his dick caught in his Zippy! |
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Works on the ghost train in weston supermare they make him wear the scary clown mask because his own face melts candy floss if too close |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Works on the ghost train in weston supermare they make him wear the scary clown mask because his own face melts candy floss if too close"
Keeps mailing Me asking to suck my cock! I am a bit luckless at the moment, so whatever, but I can never pin him down to a day and time.......Timewaster.........
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Lovely guy, does charity work because he is homeless, used to be a male model before he became stressed about being one of the beautiful people
High intellect too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Lovely guy, does charity work because he is homeless, used to be a male model before he became stressed about being one of the beautiful people
High intellect too"
Dude, this is about lieing...........I am all those things.........lend me your sleeping bag tonight? Sub me a bottle of whiskey? |
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Stick to thunderbird
Being patriotic you can have a bottle of vp sherry too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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lol
Is such a fan of Jeremy Clarckson that he asks all of his swinging friends to save their pubic hair shavings so that he can make a new wig in a vain attempt to look like his idol and spiritual mentor........This also explains his passing fancy for 'The Stig' |
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Kissed some truckers and made them want more. |
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By *icboyMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
Flashed his knob and got pointed at... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Has an iron on tattoo as he's scared of needles! |
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By *icboyMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
hates oral...and never sleeps...  |
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"French kissed the blarney stone and got so wet and horny that she frigged herself off while a coach load of Japanese tourists took pictures
Hubby passed the hat round and was arrested under the dangerous sports act
once p_nched jonny depp in the eye for 'dissing his bitch'.
was found not guilty by the judgement that the prick is everywhere and it was nice for mr depp to have to go into hiding and allow some other actor to make a film.
however the actor was leanardo dicaprio and the film flopped.
pablo was sued by warner films for $50 million and is now forced into prostution and selling illegally donwloaded panda porn to pay his legal bills."
You can't beat "off the cuff stuff"  |
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Straight in real life, breeds puppies for ladies of a certain age with maternal instincts
Once wore a capsleeve t shirt |
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By *ourbonKissMan
over a year ago
a land up north..... of leicester |
Earnt the name Pablo when on holiday in spain and became a legend thanks to his man in drag skills |
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By *icboyMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
Love to wax and floss... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Earned the right to his tatoo by lifting a St Bernard onto the back of a Lorry which was stuck on the alps with the front axle dangling over a cliff after having watched 'The Italian Job' and figuring out what Charlie Crockers idea actualy was........ |
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Thinks that although this is the gateway to heaven, there must be a back entrance |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thinks that although this is the gateway to heaven, there must be a back entrance"
Prefers the Tradesmans entrance to the main atrium......
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Kissed the girls and made them gag |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Kissed the girls and made them gag "
I say, steady on old chap!
Had a suprisingly easy paper round........ |
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"Let ya off then  "
spports a very good football team (sorry couldnt resist)
the proper one:
was once employed by a top model agency to be naomi cambells left buttock, but couldnt continue with the job as her right buttock was played by brian gumble. he now, however, has had a successful career as micheal parkinsons hairpiece, and more recently, teamed up with micheal portillo, to be holly whiloboobies cleavage. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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At the time of the famous cricket comentary fluff up 'The Batsman's Holding, the Bowlers Willie' the person above was in his slip......... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Left a skid mark in the queens personal portaloo at v festival last year |
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"Left a skid mark in the queens personal portaloo at v festival last year "
having returned from active duty in the Balkans, said poster proceeded to set up a suport group for vets.
however, got the wrong side of the stick and actually gave all the money to sick puppies.
this ended with a dishonourable discharge, but with the help of the vets, he got some cream for it, and is now all better |
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am i thinking about these lies too hard? lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"am i thinking about these lies too hard? lol"
Not at all, most enjoyable, creativity is to be encouraged. However, you aren't allowed to creatively shag the regimintal goat like you did at the christmass party last year. That was bad............
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"am i thinking about these lies too hard? lol"
The words vivid and imagination spring to mind.... However u made me chuckle zx
The above poster, sold a story to the sun, alleging Danny dyer was not a cockney plum, but is in fact from Bristol and is actualy a nice guy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"am i thinking about these lies too hard? lol
The words vivid and imagination spring to mind.... However u made me chuckle zx
The above poster, sold a story to the sun, alleging Danny dyer was not a cockney plum, but is in fact from Bristol and is actualy a nice guy"
Never!
Knicked his T shirt and put a 2" hole just above the hem...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"am i thinking about these lies too hard? lol
The words vivid and imagination spring to mind.... However u made me chuckle zx
The above poster, sold a story to the sun, alleging Danny dyer was not a cockney plum, but is in fact from Bristol and is actualy a nice guyNever!
Knicked his T shirt and put a 2" hole just above the hem......"
Laughed so hard a bit of wee came out |
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"Left a skid mark in the queens personal portaloo at v festival last year "
I'm sure it was this year cos I accidentally almost pissed it orf. |
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By *utmegsMan
over a year ago
Closer than you think |
Is a stunt double for Phil Harding. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is a stunt double for Phil Harding."
Regularly sits on Parsnips becaause he 'enjoys the way the little hairs feel'
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You weren't supposed to keep the anal beads by the way
Shall I tell them about the photo of you licking larry Blackmon of cameo's codpiece during the filming of the word up video? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Stood outside court for 5 days to see JT |
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"Stood outside court for 5 days to see JT"
in convinced he sees dead people.
after a time in hospital, under observation, it was decided its not actually dead people, but as a child, his eyes didnt work properly, so they gave him the 6million dollar mans eyes. ever since then he has been playing KES on a repeated loop in his head.
if you drill a hole in the back of his head, and sit him infront of the side of a building, you can make your own drivethru, however, you would have to employ a piano player, or make your own script up due to not having sound. |
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Don't like cabbage, bacon, taytos crisps, nashs red lemonade magners , galtee cheese , mikado biscuits, farls, soda bread or poteen |
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"Don't like cabbage, bacon, taytos crisps, nashs red lemonade magners , galtee cheese , mikado biscuits, farls, soda bread or poteen"
out of all of that I actualy dont like most of it. Em loves pretty much all of it lol.
funny story.
first time we went out, Em asked me to get her a whiskey and red lemonade.
no idea what she meant (didnt realise lemonade came in different colours, other than white lol) so she took a sip of her drink.
didnt realise how bad whiskey and black current would taste lol |
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By *utmegsMan
over a year ago
Closer than you think |
Mr Lovedup actually looks like Podge under the green patch. |
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"Mr Lovedup actually looks like Podge under the green patch."
have NO idea what the hell you are talking about there. |
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Investigations show mr loved up is actually better know as podge
Em is now on tranquillisers |
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"Investigations show mr loved up is actually better know as podge
Em is now on tranquillisers "
who the fcuk is this podge dude?
we getting personal now?
cn rollp my sleeves and duel with the best of them.
and you pair |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Investigations show mr loved up is actually better know as podge
Em is now on tranquillisers
who the fcuk is this podge dude?
we getting personal now?
cn rollp my sleeves and duel with the best of them.
and you pair"
I'll accept that as a lie
Podge wishes he was Porge |
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porge, pablo and _utmegs are all gonna get laid tonight, whereas podge will be lying in a bed, all alone, probably stroking his cock wondering where it all went wrong |
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"porge, pablo and _utmegs are all gonna get laid tonight, whereas podge will be lying in a bed, all alone, probably stroking his cock wondering where it all went wrong"
You are supposed to tell a lie  |
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"porge, pablo and _utmegs are all gonna get laid tonight, whereas podge will be lying in a bed, all alone, probably stroking his cock wondering where it all went wrong
You are supposed to tell a lie "
i did, unless ya wife is back tonight lol |
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By *a and kaCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire(ish) |
Once used her cleavage to hide several Russian diplomats whilst they were trying to defect |
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"Once used her cleavage to hide several Russian diplomats whilst they were trying to defect "
doesnt like anal sex. |
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By *a and kaCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire(ish) |
"Once used her cleavage to hide several Russian diplomats whilst they were trying to defect
doesnt like anal sex."
Paints his face green because of his love of Jim Carey in the Mask |
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"Once used her cleavage to hide several Russian diplomats whilst they were trying to defect
doesnt like anal sex.
Paints his face green because of his love of Jim Carey in the Mask"
would love to paint your arse green and wear it as said mask. lol.
i digress, im not doing my earlier deep thought out lies.
let me do you guys one.
after consumating their relationship very happily, for a fair few years, they found out they were actually half siblings.
after the initial shock they decided to focus on the half that wasnt related (in mr's case, the lower half, and mrs case, the front half lol) and had many more years of consumation culminating in much enjoyment until, eventually, the laws were changed to allow such rudiness to happen, and they started from scratch.
and boy, what a scratch. lol |
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"Once used her cleavage to hide several Russian diplomats whilst they were trying to defect
doesnt like anal sex.
Paints his face green because of his love of Jim Carey in the Mask"
The most ugliest view of a backside i have ever seen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Has two inflatable sheep ……and for obvious reasons one is called Bar-bar-raa , but the other is named Marge after his preferred lubricant. |
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"Has two inflatable sheep ……and for obvious reasons one is called Bar-bar-raa , but the other is named Marge after his preferred lubricant. "
has a partime job as a doorway measuring clerk for the 2nd biggest building contracter in the UK. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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haha
Yeah but,,,,,,,, the person above has an oil-painting of the Daniel O'Donnell visitor centre above their fireplace...
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By *a and kaCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire(ish) |
Sells hot ham and pease pudding stottie cakes outside of St. James Park on matchdays because of their love of all things black and white!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Haha,,,, I've been spotted lol
But at least its better than Breeding miniature Poodles and collecting commemorative plates of Will and Kate!! |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
Is a macho male who will whip any sub lady |
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"Is a macho male who will whip any sub lady "
works as a part time private investigator.
has a big case now, which he is searching for a mans wife, that ran off with his life savings and his best friend.
he is close to tracking them down and feels he is getting close, but is dragging it out a little to get the expenses up a bit. |
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By *xscotMan
over a year ago
Kingston |
Is a demure lady who would never even imagine what sex is like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can see right up your skirt |
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Has never been to Madame jojos doesn't wear size 11 kitten heels to work and is not saving up for the "full op" in Casablanca
Doesn't compare himself to Terence stamp in priscilla queen of the desert either |
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Goes Morris Dancing on the first Thursday of every month and steals immobility scooters randomly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Goes Morris Dancing on the first Thursday of every month and steals immobility scooters randomly. "
Is wearing an 80's full on shellsuit (purple and green) ....he always wears it |
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Oi, less of the purple young lady. 
Always wears Brut aftershave after waxing her ladygarden. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wears full on green shell suits |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That wasn't me posting |
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Has an alter ego called Erica who only eats prunes & custard for breakfast. |
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Thoroughly nice chap, chairman of the village philately society, owns a Pekingese called foofoo wubbles
Often seen window shopping at clone zone and prowler. Church bell ringer
Very much into exercise, takes long recreational walks around the docks in his Lycra vest.
Funny he never married |
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stole a postmans uniform so he can spend his days wandering west london delivering letters with nothing in them whilst sing the postman pat song |
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It's not true he moved to the bullring because of a dream to be the centre of a gay orgy fetish |
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Has a selection of Perry Como albums & plays Magic Moments on full vol every Sunday morning at 11 am precisely. |
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By *ourbonKissMan
over a year ago
a land up north..... of leicester |
He likes to carve miniature statues of himself out of potatoes |
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Claims you can still be a vegan if you swallow
Barred from Swarovski shops for stealing the cute little penguins |
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Also known as Dick Turpin aka "The Turpinator" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Narrowly missed out on a best supporting actor oscar for his role as '3rd leper from the left' in Ben Hur |
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By *utmegsMan
over a year ago
Closer than you think |
Is the UK extreme Ironing champion. |
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By *utmegsMan
over a year ago
Closer than you think |
Especially for those desparate to know who Podge is:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Podge_and_Rodge
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Once worked in a brothel as assistant chambermaid
Got caught recycling the condoms |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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looks cool  |
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Suave, sophisticated, attractive to women.
Eats his own bogies
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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and you never admit you sucked my cock lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"and you never admit you sucked my cock lol"
Caused my recent 24 hour absence from the forums by inviting me to a Dr Who conference in Cardiff. Didn't meet me where he said he would meet me and left me dressed as a Darlek at the botom of a set of stairs!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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His pen name is Marg Proops. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Has a crush on David Cameron! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Has a crush on David Cameron!"
Can't find any belts to fit.......
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has a crush on David Cameron!"
I don't doubt he has good intentions .......................
that's what puts me off! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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eats worms |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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eats worms |
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By *smCouple
over a year ago
Liskeard |
has a mutible personality.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"has a mutible personality.. "
Has no personalities (ohhhh that's mean, glad it's a deliberate lie!) |
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he is the love child of deirdre barlow and one of the blues brothers ..bt you never heard it from moi !! shhhhhhhhh!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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she loves a quick fuck n fumble, after all she is not married. |
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By *andKCouple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"she loves a quick fuck n fumble, after all she is not married."
she can't stand chocolate cake! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"she loves a quick fuck n fumble, after all she is not married.
she can't stand chocolate cake!"
Can't swim and hates fish........ |
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By *andKCouple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
hates fish isn't a lie lol - allergic to the little blighters unfortunately |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hates fish isn't a lie lol - allergic to the little blighters unfortunately"
doesnt like to go deep. |
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Walks around withenshawe wearing a city claiming "to be from Stockport really"
Got stopped on his way to a drive by in moss side in a child's pedal car armed with a paint gun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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claims to be a hammers fan but is really one of those local MUFC fans! |
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works as a bo_ncer for mothercare |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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used to be a siamese twin with hitlers cousin and ghandi was his best friend |
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"used to be a siamese twin with hitlers cousin and ghandi was his best friend"
Actually Exists and lives a normal life on a plantation farm in the midst of the Eden Project. |
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Housebound and full of neurosis from rock ferry, once made it as far as lime street for a round the world cruise.
Fingers and naughty bits permanently stained after watching too much porn while eating cheesy wotsits |
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unemployable untill g4s and the olympics saved him |
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Caught syphillis from a frothy mouthed llama when he took the sign at the petting zoo too literally |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Used to be a pidgeon fancier. |
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By *ncMan
over a year ago
Dudley |
Still are pigeon fanciers! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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has met us so he knows. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am not tall at all. |
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Hold seances foe the kittens that die everytime somebody swings |
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doesnt have a car so travels everywhere on a pink barbie scooter |
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Hammered nails into the wheels on my scooter |
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Thursday is the only day he has a wank, but only uses his left hand & a 1978 copy of Penthouse. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Doesn't realy like Superman, is much more interested in Batman and Robin.......... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just stole my virginity |
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"Doesn't realy like Superman, is much more interested in Batman and Robin.........."
Can't read properly without bottle bottom glasses & takes a copy of The Beano to bed with him. |
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Can only perform while listening to old 78's of Harry Lauder
Or underneath a poster of doctor who's cybernen |
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"Can only perform while listening to old 78's of Harry Lauder
Or underneath a poster of doctor who's cybernen"
You know me too well. You have been reported as being a stalker on more occasions than you would care to mention. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can only perform while listening to old 78's of Harry Lauder
Or underneath a poster of doctor who's cybernen
You know me too well. You have been reported as being a stalker on more occasions than you would care to mention. "
Was my Mum |
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Only twice though.
You only polish your shoes on the 19th of every other month, with expensive Cambodian bees wax. |
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"hes the real crocodile dundee "
True words spoken there Sheila, I once saw a live alligator & I've eaten some Dundee cake.
You have a pet snail called Simon who hides in the corner because you constantly get his name wrong |
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Banned from every bus in Derbyshire after leaving a parcel on the bus en route to the incontinence pants recycling centre |
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Supports every team in London (depending on which mate he is with in the pub) but secretly vanishes to Old Trafford every other Sunday |
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"Supports every team in London (depending on which mate he is with in the pub) but secretly vanishes to Old Trafford every other Sunday "
His name is not at all derived from being a football fan , he has five pairs of wellies with very long and strong laces. |
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Eats beef Stroganof every morning for breakfast, then mushroom Stroganof for tea, at which point he promptly throws up and his cat called "Nibbles" has an impromptu snack |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Eats beef Stroganof every morning for breakfast, then mushroom Stroganof for tea, at which point he promptly throws up and his cat called "Nibbles" has an impromptu snack "
sends me sweet nothings via pm |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He has balls of steel.  |
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A stunt dwarf from the star wars films photoshopped the pic to make her legs look longer
Only drinks urine from vegetarian sheep |
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only ever speaks in cockney rhyming slang |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only owns slip on shoes |
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Nasally whine comes from a schnozzola full of Harry monk
Hunts rare butterflies during the summer months and trains potter all year round which coincides with his fetish for fish paste
Totally misunderstood the concept of trout tickling |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"Nasally whine comes from a schnozzola full of Harry monk
Hunts rare butterflies during the summer months and trains potter all year round which coincides with his fetish for fish paste
Totally misunderstood the concept of trout tickling"
Took fifty shades the wrong way and bought loads of sunglasses... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nasally whine comes from a schnozzola full of Harry monk
Hunts rare butterflies during the summer months and trains potter all year round which coincides with his fetish for fish paste
Totally misunderstood the concept of trout tickling
Took fifty shades the wrong way and bought loads of sunglasses... "
took fifty shades the wrong way,met me and started to crayon me in ffs  |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"Nasally whine comes from a schnozzola full of Harry monk
Hunts rare butterflies during the summer months and trains potter all year round which coincides with his fetish for fish paste
Totally misunderstood the concept of trout tickling
Took fifty shades the wrong way and bought loads of sunglasses... took fifty shades the wrong way,met me and started to crayon me in ffs "
Has had a threesome with George and zippy ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Johnsoda let me wax that hairy chest |
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Puts blackcurrant into Guinness because he likes "all things pink"
If you get my drift |
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By *a and kaCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire(ish) |
Uses his X-ray vision to try and find a winning scratch card to pay for his surgery! |
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auditioned for im a celebrity nwitchity grub eating tornament! |
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Been sacked from their third nursing home for stealing butterscotch and sanatogen tonic wine |
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holds the record for the longest .....kiss lol |
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By *a and kaCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire(ish) |
Is the creator of the battered Mars Bar |
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"holds the record for the longest .....kiss lol "
probably true actually
Not really swingers, they collect seaside postcards for cheap thrills |
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Hid real name is Paul Front and he keeps a Goldfish in every room in his house. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*His"
Supports notts forest ... Ducks |
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By *a and kaCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire(ish) |
Spent 17 years, 2 months and 3 days searching for a hat that perfectly matched his brickwork! |
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By *a and kaCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire(ish) |
"Spent 17 years, 2 months and 3 days searching for a hat that perfectly matched his brickwork! "
Bugger missed again!!  |
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"Spent 17 years, 2 months and 3 days searching for a hat that perfectly matched his brickwork!
Bugger missed again!! "
I wouldn't miss if I was buggering you
Owns 3 cats who are all called Trevor |
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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago
Nr Chester |
[Removed by poster at 17/07/12 23:15:17] |
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"owns steptoes yard"
The gent above has nicked a nice photo for his avatar. |
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