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Why do men?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I call John babes or baby on times. And he calls me babes. I love he calls me that. 
That is different. I am talking about these names being used in first messages from unknown men."
Ok i get you now i hate strangers or guys at work calling me them names to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because they're condescending gits"
Yeah, I've always seen it as a way for a guy to make enforce the power balance. That he is the strong leader, and you're just his pet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because they're condescending gits
Yeah, I've always seen it as a way for a guy to make enforce the power balance. That he is the strong leader, and you're just his pet"
Exactly that |
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"Because they're condescending gits
Yeah, I've always seen it as a way for a guy to make enforce the power balance. That he is the strong leader, and you're just his pet
Exactly that"
Or they could be just being nice. |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
I think people just like to complain and others suck up to it.
I remember taking my mum shopping and she must have been 80 then. A young lad about 20 just missed bumping into her and said "Alright darling". It made us smile. In some social cultures those types of names are a way for people to be nice when they don't know someone's actual name.
May be it is artificial but it is not abusive unless you state in your profile you don't like those names.
I am glad I am on here just for the forums, some people are harder than Romans at a gladiator show.
Now go ahead and shoot the messenger. |
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"I think people just like to complain and others suck up to it.
I remember taking my mum shopping and she must have been 80 then. A young lad about 20 just missed bumping into her and said "Alright darling". It made us smile. In some social cultures those types of names are a way for people to be nice when they don't know someone's actual name.
May be it is artificial but it is not abusive unless you state in your profile you don't like those names.
I am glad I am on here just for the forums, some people are harder than Romans at a gladiator show.
Now go ahead and shoot the messenger."
They know my fab name. Bluebell,Belle or Bee is fine but pet names by strangers i find sleazy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t think anyone wants pet names to be used by those they don’t know or haven’t spoken to before. However, in longer term relationships / friendships I think they can be fun.
Horses for courses, I guess.
M |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am nearly 56 but still they call me baby. I dislike it with a passion.
Would you rather they called you granny?
No as i am not lucky enough to be a gran yet."
Ahh you’re Glaswegian
Don’t you guys call women ‘Hen’ up there? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I call John babes or baby on times. And he calls me babes. I love he calls me that.
That is different. I am talking about these names being used in first messages from unknown men."
Ohhhhhh....that makes sense now. Yes, that is weird. Is the objective to seem like a very friendly, easy going, laid back sort of chap? |
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Never mind the men. I was in Asda this morning. How much are these? I asked.
I don't know babe. She said as she walked off....
Babe  Dunno which annoyed me more. Her fuck off , piss poor attitude or the babe to someone who clearly has less time left on the planet than they have had life laid out behind them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a suspicion that fake profiles ie guys pretending to women use the word hun to make themselves appear more real"
Men pretending to be women are really easy for women to spot.
Men can't spot them for obvious reasons.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I like calling someone of the opposite sex a complimentary name “ sweetheart, beautiful, sunshine” but it all depends on the way it comes across as is not what you say is how you say it but is difficult to express via text! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never mind the men. I was in Asda this morning. How much are these? I asked.
I don't know babe. She said as she walked off....
Babe Dunno which annoyed me more. Her fuck off , piss poor attitude or the babe to someone who clearly has less time left on the planet than they have had life laid out behind them."
Perhaps it was a compliment and she thought you are a teenager.  |
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"I think people just like to complain and others suck up to it.
I remember taking my mum shopping and she must have been 80 then. A young lad about 20 just missed bumping into her and said "Alright darling". It made us smile. In some social cultures those types of names are a way for people to be nice when they don't know someone's actual name.
May be it is artificial but it is not abusive unless you state in your profile you don't like those names.
I am glad I am on here just for the forums, some people are harder than Romans at a gladiator show.
Now go ahead and shoot the messenger."
The messenger is someone who carries and delivers the beliefs of others.
You weren't the messenger but i'll still shoot you if you like babe. |
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"Never mind the men. I was in Asda this morning. How much are these? I asked.
I don't know babe. She said as she walked off....
Babe Dunno which annoyed me more. Her fuck off , piss poor attitude or the babe to someone who clearly has less time left on the planet than they have had life laid out behind them.
Perhaps it was a compliment and she thought you are a teenager. "
Lovely thought but a huge stretch of the imagination |
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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago
ribble valley |
Oh crap! I've been calling females pet names for decade's. Love, sweetheart, baby, sexy, beauty etc. No ones ever pulled me up on it.
FFS, I even call fella's chief and boss etc. I shall now refer to females as "woman". Even this old dog can learn new tricks
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh crap! I've been calling females pet names for decade's. Love, sweetheart, baby, sexy, beauty etc. No ones ever pulled me up on it.
FFS, I even call fella's chief and boss etc. I shall now refer to females as "woman". Even this old dog can learn new tricks
"
Mistress will suffice |
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"Oh crap! I've been calling females pet names for decade's. Love, sweetheart, baby, sexy, beauty etc. No ones ever pulled me up on it.
FFS, I even call fella's chief and boss etc. I shall now refer to females as "woman". Even this old dog can learn new tricks
"
I don't think any man who uses names to infantalise women could actually handle a fully fledged grown up woman. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think people just like to complain and others suck up to it.
***I remember taking my mum shopping and she must have been 80 then. A young lad about 20 just missed bumping into her and said "Alright darling". It made us smile. ***
In some social cultures those types of names are a way for people to be nice when they don't know someone's actual name.
May be it is artificial but it is not abusive unless you state in your profile you don't like those names.
I am glad I am on here just for the forums, some people are harder than Romans at a gladiator show.
Now go ahead and shoot the messenger."
I love this!!  *** |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Call females baby. Drives me mad. Someone has just called me peach WTF. "
It’s a weird one. I don’t like it on here from strangers but when friends or lovers call me such names it does make me smile. I find that I use nicknames too, they just skip out. I recently started calling someone Sweetcheeks and Pretty boy and I know I don’t mean them in a condescending way  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can be irritating if it's "baby" this and that or "hun " every second word and suggests to me that they have a rather limited vocabulary. But other than that I don't find it too irritating. Maybe add it to your profile that you find it a major annoyance to give them a heads up?
I don't see it as something indicative of widespread misogyny or the patriarchy though...Ffs.
A wee man in Lidl called me "Darlin" the other day cause I helped him with something. Thought it was sweet. |
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'Hate' is a rather strong emotion to feel because someone called you a pet name surely?
If a msg makes me uncomfortable then I delete it. End of!
To be honest I kinda use 'sweet', 'handsome', 'beaut' when chatting to people so I can't really take any offense! |
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"Call females baby. Drives me mad. Someone has just called me peach WTF.
Same reason women do it. Ever heard a woman call another woman sweetie?
No"
Really? I have been called sweetie by other women and all sorts of terms of endearment by men. Does it bother me? No, of course not. People attempting to be kind is a good thing.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people will take offence over anything these days never happy unless moaning about something.
Female strangers I encounter in shops etc call me hun all the time, it doesn't offend me.
They're simply being friendly it's not meant to be offensive or derogatory.
Maybe we should all go round wearing badges with our names on. Then if we get called hun, babe, whatever then we can publicly correct them.
Ridiculous of course I'm off to the shops to potentially get called hun again. |
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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago
ribble valley |
"Oh crap! I've been calling females pet names for decade's. Love, sweetheart, baby, sexy, beauty etc. No ones ever pulled me up on it.
FFS, I even call fella's chief and boss etc. I shall now refer to females as "woman". Even this old dog can learn new tricks
I don't think any man who uses names to infantalise women could actually handle a fully fledged grown up woman. "
It's not meant to to belittle females. From me, it's a sign of endearment. As for handling a"fully fledged "grown up woman", it's always worked well for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone called me treacle the other day! Fucking treacle!!! "
I like that
Can imagine it being said in a strong cockney accent and sounding very friendly.
Suppose this whole thread just goes to demonstrate how different we all are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally for me I couldn’t care less what they said. Beyond that they only meant well and said it in an attempt to compliment. For every person who hates a being called “babe” there’s another five who wish someone would. When all is said and done I’m sure we would all rather be in the category of having peoples interest than those lonely people who don’t. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Personally it comes down to circumstance and how it's used but it wouldn't cause me more than a moments irritation if someone used a pet name to refer to me in an inappropriate way - there are plenty of people here (of both genders) who use them in messages, forum posts etc so if it irritates that much just delete and move on, same as you would any other thing that would cause you to not respond to a message.
It's certainly not some patriarchal attempt to control as some would have you believe, any more than someone calling me "hun", "darling", "babes" etc is a means of exerting some level of matriarchy.
Just not worth getting knickers knotted over is the way I see it
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By *ucidityWoman
over a year ago
Nottingham |
"Call females baby. Drives me mad. Someone has just called me peach WTF. "
Depending on the bloke (or woman to be honest), and how it’s said, and the context, I can enjoy pet names and terms of endearment sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Or Miss
How are you miss .....
A .. I’m a Ms
And I find it submissive which is a turn off.
But yes the alright babe, hun, darling messages are usually the ones that end up with do you want some cock  |
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"Call females baby. Drives me mad. Someone has just called me peach WTF. "
Totally agree OP.
It's a good indication for me that I don't want to talk to that person!! It also says they can't be arsed to use my name and their message is a cut n paste job. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Call females baby. Drives me mad. Someone has just called me peach WTF. "
I have it on my profile that I won’t reply if they call me hun/babe/etc but I still get 5ish messages a day opening with that |
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"Call females baby. Drives me mad. Someone has just called me peach WTF.
Same reason women do it. Ever heard a woman call another woman sweetie?
No
Really? I have been called sweetie by other women and all sorts of terms of endearment by men. Does it bother me? No, of course not. People attempting to be kind is a good thing.
"
Better than a boot up the arse I guess.
|
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"Oh crap! I've been calling females pet names for decade's. Love, sweetheart, baby, sexy, beauty etc. No ones ever pulled me up on it.
FFS, I even call fella's chief and boss etc. I shall now refer to females as "woman". Even this old dog can learn new tricks
I don't think any man who uses names to infantalise women could actually handle a fully fledged grown up woman.
It's not meant to to belittle females. From me, it's a sign of endearment. As for handling a"fully fledged "grown up woman", it's always worked well for me "
Good. Depends on the woman I guess.
and sexy darlin' I never said belittle babsy wabsy .... xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Context is everything
I think on here it can be cringe
In everyday life, I just let it go
My in-laws are from Liverpool
I do wish they wouldn't call me 'hun', but they do
Sets my teeth on edge |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think there was a certain amount of conditioning from the music industry
Baby, I’m a want you
You know it’s you Babe
Baby it’s cold outside
...Baby, one more time
Baby can I hold you.....
I could go on |
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"Context is everything
I think on here it can be cringe
In everyday life, I just let it go
My in-laws are from Liverpool
I do wish they wouldn't call me 'hun', but they do
Sets my teeth on edge "
Not a fan of hun.
Don't mind Darling |
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By *_DirectorMan
over a year ago
Middle of somewhere |
I guess we've all done and apologies but I think it's more of a trying to be sweet , considering most messages get deleted or a non response ...
Fab is a woman's world after all and hold all the cards |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think I've ever done it, It might work for some guys but I cringe when I think of using them.
Receiving them, on the other hand from women makes me blush a little |
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"Context is everything
I think on here it can be cringe
In everyday life, I just let it go
My in-laws are from Liverpool
I do wish they wouldn't call me 'hun', but they do
Sets my teeth on edge "
That's not particularly a Liverpool thing...... trust me |
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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago
ribble valley |
"Oh crap! I've been calling females pet names for decade's. Love, sweetheart, baby, sexy, beauty etc. No ones ever pulled me up on it.
FFS, I even call fella's chief and boss etc. I shall now refer to females as "woman". Even this old dog can learn new tricks
I don't think any man who uses names to infantalise women could actually handle a fully fledged grown up woman.
It's not meant to to belittle females. From me, it's a sign of endearment. As for handling a"fully fledged "grown up woman", it's always worked well for me
Good. Depends on the woman I guess.
and sexy darlin' I never said belittle babsy wabsy .... xxx "
Get your coat, you've just pulled talking hot like that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm guilty of using pet names tbh, I tend to use hun or my dear, if we're really close sweetheart. So yea it's a habit and can be due to me being a bit of a romantic tbh lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Women do the same dont they. I get called pet names all the time for example. Duck. Babe. Sweetheart. Darling.
However what i dont do is get annoyed about it. I know they are just saying it in a nice way not offensively. Otherwise they would be calling me a nobhead or something along those lines. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women do the same dont they. I get called pet names all the time for example. Duck. Babe. Sweetheart. Darling.
However what i dont do is get annoyed about it. I know they are just saying it in a nice way not offensively. Otherwise they would be calling me a nobhead or something along those lines."
 |
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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago
ribble valley |
"Women do the same dont they. I get called pet names all the time for example. Duck. Babe. Sweetheart. Darling.
However what i dont do is get annoyed about it. I know they are just saying it in a nice way not offensively. Otherwise they would be calling me a nobhead or something along those lines."
That's how I've always taken it. Why make a nice thing bad? |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Women do the same dont they. I get called pet names all the time for example. Duck. Babe. Sweetheart. Darling.
However what i dont do is get annoyed about it. I know they are just saying it in a nice way not offensively. Otherwise they would be calling me a nobhead or something along those lines.
That's how I've always taken it. Why make a nice thing bad? "
This is where context comes into play though - I'm just back from Tesco and was called "love" twice and "sweetheart" once during my trip round the aisles - didn't bother me in the slightest.
On here as a first message from someone I'd never interacted with it would seem a little forward and presumptuous and may colour my view of the person using it - still wouldn't bother me for any longer than it took to press the delete button mind. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"#notallmen "
Agreed and think it's actually been well established by this thread that it's not something that is specifically dominated by either gender to do.
In fact in my experience (which is obviously weighted by being a man) women do it a heck of a lot more than men do, not that it should be a competition at all.
Whilst it does come down to context as to how cringey it sounds, it's hardly the end of the world either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Call females baby. Drives me mad. Someone has just called me peach WTF.
It’s a weird one. I don’t like it on here from strangers but when friends or lovers call me such names it does make me smile. I find that I use nicknames too, they just skip out. I recently started calling someone Sweetcheeks and Pretty boy and I know I don’t mean them in a condescending way "
It's probably that their use by a stranger suggests a level of intimacy that isn't there, so seems inappropriate. When you are close to someone, it's fine. I have a long standing lady friend who still calls me dreamboat, but she has since we were 9 yrs old. |
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Hey, try being a 61 year old bloke and getting messages starting "hey babe".
As far as I am concerned Babe is a pig. My name, in fem mode, was Ioana (Yoh Anna). Otherwise just start the message with "Hi". |
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Doesn't bother me, though I find it a bit odd when much younger men call me love or hun.
I'm not a fan of babe or baby but often it's just part of their natural speech.
I don't see it as condescending and can be guilty of it myself. |
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Men do this because it infantilises women, further reinforcing the grossly unequal power dynamic already entrenched in our revoltingly misogynistic society.
I have never used "pet names" and can't see that changing. Ugh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men do this because it infantilises women, further reinforcing the grossly unequal power dynamic already entrenched in our revoltingly misogynistic society.
I have never used "pet names" and can't see that changing. Ugh."
Thanks for speaking for all men fella..... |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
Don’t mind a pet name if it’s said sincerely but on Fab you know your one of a thousand babes, beauts, sweethearts and princesses etc. that they have messaged that day, so quite often makes me pull this face |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Men do this because it infantilises women, further reinforcing the grossly unequal power dynamic already entrenched in our revoltingly misogynistic society.
I have never used "pet names" and can't see that changing. Ugh."
And women who do it equally as much (I had two "loves" and a "sweetheart" in Tesco today) do it because? For the same reason as you suggest? |
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» Add a new message to this topic
)
But I’m bad for that too! I call everyone darling, sweetie, gorgeous, sweetheart etc. X
although not from just anyone, when one person calls me baby girl it always makes me go 
