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Should you change for somebody you love?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they loved and respected you then nothing would need to be changed..
If i was madly in love id do almost anything to please a man so if i was asked.. (depending on what it was) id consider it and posdibly do it. pleasing a man makes me happy |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"If they loved and respected you then nothing would need to be changed..
If i was madly in love id do almost anything to please a man so if i was asked.. (depending on what it was) id consider it and posdibly do it. pleasing a man makes me happy"
SO there is a difference between doing something for somebody if you enjoy pleasing? |
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"If they loved and respected you then nothing would need to be changed..
If i was madly in love id do almost anything to please a man so if i was asked.. (depending on what it was) id consider it and posdibly do it. pleasing a man makes me happy"
Your'e confusing love with servitude. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Natural changes yes, but not unnatural and forced changes.What is a natural change - shaved armpits? "
Changing a single persons habits helps IF in a relationship |
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"HELL to the NO!
If they can't love you for who you are, they are not worth your time.
- Amy. xWhat if we are talking little irritating habits? "
Depends on what they are... If you consistently pick your nose and wipe it on the couch/curtains, then I could understand, but if it's the slight bit of O.C.D I have with the way things are set out or cleaned, then no. - It's all part of the package. 
- Amy. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"HELL to the NO!
If they can't love you for who you are, they are not worth your time.
- Amy. x"
If they changed, they would be the person you fell in love with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's an interesting dilemma you pose - how often have relationships broke up because one person has met someone they like and then set about turning him/her into someone they don't like?
I am what I am so love me or leave me. |
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"HELL to the NO!
If they can't love you for who you are, they are not worth your time.
- Amy. x
If they changed, they would be the person you fell in love with. "
Exactly. You can't mould people like playdough. If they're not you're looking for then move along and find someone else. x |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"you should have to change for a loved one, you was you when they fell in love with you so why change? "
Interesting one - sometimes we try and change bits about our partners, and then when they have changed we might not like who they have become.
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Can anybody really change or is it just putting on an act which will soon become apparent?"
Both - people do put faces on, public personas etc... but equally change and learning are possible at any stage in life |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
IF, and it's a big if, I met someone I felt I'd want a relationship with, I realise I would perhaps need to change some things. I have lived alone for 6 years so have probably got some interesting foibles that may irritate a guy when we become closer. However, I wouldn't change how I look for them. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"IF, and it's a big if, I met someone I felt I'd want a relationship with, I realise I would perhaps need to change some things. I have lived alone for 6 years so have probably got some interesting foibles that may irritate a guy when we become closer. However, I wouldn't change how I look for them."
I guess that thats a good point - once you lived alone for a while, you can get a little set in your ways? That makes it perhaps a bit more difficult to adapt to the demands of others...?
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I would think the biggest problem, in a relationship or other, is that each of us changes ourselves over time anyway. Some changes not being too subtle.
The Chinese have a saying about willow (i think)how it bends in the breeze, if it didn't it would snap. Wise people. |
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"Can anybody really change or is it just putting on an act which will soon become apparent?"
Sorry, touchy subject for me.
One of my exes was abusive (emotionally AND physically) and beat down many things in my behaviour and physical appearance to make me fit HIS idea of perfect.
Obviously, it never TRULY changed me though... The real you will always be there, so I just made myself numb and became a shell.
All Hell breaks loose though when you finally snap.  I've never felt stronger or more confident in who I am. And would never allow myself to be treated that way again.
- Amy. x |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"IF, and it's a big if, I met someone I felt I'd want a relationship with, I realise I would perhaps need to change some things. I have lived alone for 6 years so have probably got some interesting foibles that may irritate a guy when we become closer. However, I wouldn't change how I look for them.I guess that thats a good point - once you lived alone for a while, you can get a little set in your ways? That makes it perhaps a bit more difficult to adapt to the demands of others...?"
I also have a lot of cats. I suspect that might put some people off.  |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Can anybody really change or is it just putting on an act which will soon become apparent?
Sorry, touchy subject for me.
One of my exes was abusive (emotionally AND physically) and beat down many things in my behaviour and physical appearance to make me fit HIS idea of perfect.
Obviously, it never TRULY changed me though... The real you will always be there, so I just made myself numb and became a shell.
All Hell breaks loose though when you finally snap. I've never felt stronger or more confident in who I am. And would never allow myself to be treated that way again.
- Amy. x"
Shame you had that experience - and glad you ahve come out stornger and more determined not to let that happen again xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"IF, and it's a big if, I met someone I felt I'd want a relationship with, I realise I would perhaps need to change some things. I have lived alone for 6 years so have probably got some interesting foibles that may irritate a guy when we become closer. However, I wouldn't change how I look for them."
I'm the same...would have to adapt to having a person around for more than a couple of hours, but I wouldn't change who I am. As for how I look, have tried to change that for myself and not been very successful, so doing it for someone else would just never work. If I did manage to shift the weight though, I would want them to be happy for me achieving my goal not just because I was slimmer x |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"IF, and it's a big if, I met someone I felt I'd want a relationship with, I realise I would perhaps need to change some things. I have lived alone for 6 years so have probably got some interesting foibles that may irritate a guy when we become closer. However, I wouldn't change how I look for them.
I'm the same...would have to adapt to having a person around for more than a couple of hours, but I wouldn't change who I am. As for how I look, have tried to change that for myself and not been very successful, so doing it for someone else would just never work. If I did manage to shift the weight though, I would want them to be happy for me achieving my goal not just because I was slimmer x"
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- Amy. x