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Can I ask a question?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Anyone else get messages with this in and think "Just ask it. Don't ask if you can ask.".
What's your best come back line, apart from "you've just asked it"? |
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A teacher moons ago used to love to point out
'Can I..' means "Do I have the capability?".
'May I...' means "Will you allow me to?".
Same teacher would often follow with "so boy as you don't seem to be able to tell the difference between either question the answer is clearly "No".
We tend to just sigh and delete. (he wasn't the best teacher)  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A teacher moons ago used to love to point out
'Can I..' means "Do I have the capability?".
'May I...' means "Will you allow me to?".
Same teacher would often follow with "so boy as you don't seem to be able to tell the difference between either question the answer is clearly "No".
We tend to just sigh and delete. (he wasn't the best teacher) "
I'm using this next time. It's brilliant.   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ages ago I would rarely hear it, but when I took on a job a few years ago I had to, and still have to, deal with a coworker who says it all the time. All the other coworkers noticed it and dislike it. I know their intention is to be polite, but they overdo it and it ironically comes off as annoying more than polite. |
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"Anyone else get messages with this in and think "Just ask it. Don't ask if you can ask.".
What's your best come back line, apart from "you've just asked it"?"
Reply with "No need to, the answer is 42" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else get messages with this in and think "Just ask it. Don't ask if you can ask.".
What's your best come back line, apart from "you've just asked it"?"
Its normally followed by "would you mind if I wanked over your pictures" - you ladies are ruthless.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s a way of easing someone into something that’s awkward, but it’s really manipulation, they will usually have something specific on their mind and they think you’d probably aren’t going to like it. So, they soften you up first by being passively defensive, they are defending themselves from getting an earful, if you say ‘no’ they’re not the ones being rude, but by saying ‘yes’ to the seemingly polite lead in question, they have set you up to feel under pressure to answer the next question politely, because you’ve already partially agreed to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s a way of easing someone into something that’s awkward, but it’s really manipulation, they will usually have something specific on their mind and they think you’d probably aren’t going to like it. So, they soften you up first by being passively defensive, they are defending themselves from getting an earful, if you say ‘no’ they’re not the ones being rude, but by saying ‘yes’ to the seemingly polite lead in question, they have set you up to feel under pressure to answer the next question politely, because you’ve already partially agreed to it. "
Agree with all this. It’s an alarm bell to us that they’re unlikely to have the confidence to interest me - just ask the question and stop wasting energy. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I bothered replying at all, I would say "Seeing as you haven't asked to ask, don't bother."
He should be asking "May I ask...." or say "PLease allow me to ask....."
"Can I" is not asking to ask. |
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Hate that phrase. I always tell people you can ask me anything, but just because you've asked doesn't mean I have to answer, and if I do, be prepared for an answer you may not like.
Maybe that's why my wife doesn't ask certain questions! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else get messages with this in and think "Just ask it. Don't ask if you can ask.".
What's your best come back line, apart from "you've just asked it"?"
“Only if it’s a dumb question”
It’s something my mum says and I think I’ve inherited the habit. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seems to be a game of one up manship sometimes here, those can afford good chance of receiving a lot of messages will belittle the sender those that don't wont tend to be so condescending. "
Does seem to be the case, doesn't it.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Those messages get deleted.
Harsh, but fair.
Why fair ? What if the question was about knowing the person or giving a heads up about been known away from here . "
Then don't introduce yourself with such a generic term as a subject. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Those messages get deleted.
Harsh, but fair.
Why fair ? What if the question was about knowing the person or giving a heads up about been known away from here . "
You’ve used the ‘Can I ask you question ?’ opener before haven’t you ?!  |
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"Those messages get deleted.
Harsh, but fair.
Why fair ? What if the question was about knowing the person or giving a heads up about been known away from here .
You’ve used the ‘Can I ask you question ?’ opener before haven’t you ?! "
No , |
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"Seems to be a game of one up manship sometimes here, those can afford good chance of receiving a lot of messages will belittle the sender those that don't wont tend to be so condescending. "
Nope. Aside from grammar fail (above) & issue of supply and demand, it is typically a lazy mass email teqhnique to see who responds and then the sender looks to see what they can ask. Its a non-question to gain engagement with zero effort through false humility. Think Uriah Heep.
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"Seems to be a game of one up manship sometimes here, those can afford good chance of receiving a lot of messages will belittle the sender those that don't wont tend to be so condescending.
Nope. Aside from grammar fail (above) & issue of supply and demand, it is typically a lazy mass email teqhnique to see who responds and then the sender looks to see what they can ask. Its a non-question to gain engagement with zero effort through false humility. Think Uriah Heep.
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Literally just had one of these message and replied "no thanks"
Wish I had seen this thread first as I would have sent one of the brilliant replies people have given |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else get messages with this in and think "Just ask it. Don't ask if you can ask.".
What's your best come back line, apart from "you've just asked it"?"
"I reply ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies"
If they continue to ask the question I will reply with a blatant lie
However, if someone asks me a question in normal circumstances I'm an open book and don't hide anything
Doughnut |
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We get this off the same person every few months.
We ignore him but he continues on regardless and tries to get MrsTwo involved in a "cat fight".
We ask him to not message again, he blocks us and we block him.
A few months later.... our inbox has him in again with something along the lines of "I've got to ask you something"
Rinse and repeat.
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"It really does my tits in. I say no and block them. I always think they’re going to say something tosspottery."
"Tosspottery" I have never heard that expression, it has made laugh, I have now borrowed that and will be inserting it into my sarcastic vocabulary 😀
Many thanks Luna |
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