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For my fellow golden oldies - when we were young! :-)
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Hi my lovelies. 
Yesterday I found a photo in a cupboard of me at 23/24. I remember having far less confidence at the time than I do now - and thought I was unattractive - at least without makeup!
So - have you changed much since your younger self? (I’m far fatter and wrinklier) And how confident were you in your twenties?
Like now - my confidence stemmed from my personality rather than my looks.
However - when I look at old photos I think I was far more attractive than I thought I was at the time - if that makes sense? 
Do you look at old photos of yourself and wish you’d been more confident in your looks at the time? |
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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
"Hi my lovelies.
Yesterday I found a photo in a cupboard of me at 23/24. I remember having far less confidence at the time than I do now - and thought I was unattractive - at least without makeup!
So - have you changed much since your younger self? (I’m far fatter and wrinklier) And how confident were you in your twenties?
Like now - my confidence stemmed from my personality rather than my looks.
However - when I look at old photos I think I was far more attractive than I thought I was at the time - if that makes sense?
Do you look at old photos of yourself and wish you’d been more confident in your looks at the time? "
Definitely! I look back and I'm thinner than I am now and actually ok looking, I was a complete wallflower though and had zero confidence |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
I've not changed much compared to 25 years ago with the exception of wrinkles and greying hair and in general think i've aged gracefully.
I definitely wasn't anywhere near as confident as now and didn't consider myself particularly attractive. Funny how our perceptions change.
I saw that pic if yours. Looking good Op |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I honestly think I look better older. I think I looked awkward when I was younger, despite probably being much fitter. I've kinda grown into myself the last ten years or so....
Hi Peachy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I have grown into me
I look better older than I did when I was younger
I've always been short and always on the fat side
There was a lot of self loathing going on in my youth
I look at photos and can see it
I was also painfully shy, a lot of that coming down to a lack of confidence about how I looked
I am now a pretty confident adult with a good way with people on the whole
People like me, some even fancy me
I'm doing OK  |
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"Hi my lovelies.
Yesterday I found a photo in a cupboard of me at 23/24. I remember having far less confidence at the time than I do now - and thought I was unattractive - at least without makeup!
So - have you changed much since your younger self? (I’m far fatter and wrinklier) And how confident were you in your twenties?
Like now - my confidence stemmed from my personality rather than my looks.
However - when I look at old photos I think I was far more attractive than I thought I was at the time - if that makes sense?
Do you look at old photos of yourself and wish you’d been more confident in your looks at the time?
Definitely! I look back and I'm thinner than I am now and actually ok looking, I was a complete wallflower though and had zero confidence "
Yeah I get that!
I had confidence - but not so much in my looks! X |
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"I've not changed much compared to 25 years ago with the exception of wrinkles and greying hair and in general think i've aged gracefully.
I definitely wasn't anywhere near as confident as now and didn't consider myself particularly attractive. Funny how our perceptions change.
I saw that pic if yours. Looking good Op "
Thanks lovely. I’m sure you looked lovely then too. |
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My husband has improved with age, he looks younger now than he did 15 years ago. I think many men are fortunate that way. He’s always been funny and confident and I’ve always been attracted to him but I think he’s more confident now than he was years ago.
I’ve doubled in size and things are heading south, I always felt fat and frumpy in my 20s but looking back at photos i was fine and it was nothing a nice outfit and some decent make up couldn’t have sorted out. I wish I could look like that now!
Lou x |
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By *elly72Woman
over a year ago
glasgow |
"Hi my lovelies.
Yesterday I found a photo in a cupboard of me at 23/24. I remember having far less confidence at the time than I do now - and thought I was unattractive - at least without makeup!
So - have you changed much since your younger self? (I’m far fatter and wrinklier) And how confident were you in your twenties?
Like now - my confidence stemmed from my personality rather than my looks.
However - when I look at old photos I think I was far more attractive than I thought I was at the time - if that makes sense?
Do you look at old photos of yourself and wish you’d been more confident in your looks at the time? "
Same here thought so little of myself but now I look back and think I could’ve had some decent pulls back then lol |
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I think I'm looking better the older I'm getting. I shared a pic of me at 18 on a thread here the other week and I genuinely look better now. I personally think I suit my features especially my face now I'm older |
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"I honestly think I look better older. I think I looked awkward when I was younger, despite probably being much fitter. I've kinda grown into myself the last ten years or so....
Hi Peachy "
Hi lovely. Well you certainly look good from what I can see. |
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"I think I have grown into me
I look better older than I did when I was younger
I've always been short and always on the fat side
There was a lot of self loathing going on in my youth
I look at photos and can see it
I was also painfully shy, a lot of that coming down to a lack of confidence about how I looked
I am now a pretty confident adult with a good way with people on the whole
People like me, some even fancy me
I'm doing OK "
Agreed. I think lack of confidence can put people off. When I became single after 20 years in my mid 40’s I’d no idea I was remotely attractive (I’d been belittled for 2 decades) and was shocked by the amount of attention I got both on fab and in the real world. It took a while to get used to it tbh. Xx |
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"I think as you grow older you accept more about yourself and do not care as much of what others think of you. When younger I often think it’s about trying to impress others, or to conform"
Yes you’re probably right. My daughter is 15 and thinks being in any way different is a crime!  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I think in general you do grow more confident as you get older don't you? When you're younger there's pressure to look a particular way, to be attractive and as you grow up you realise that attractiveness isn't a cookie cutter ideal. I'm possibly not the age range to comment OP, apologies if that's so!
In my early twenties to mid I was a lot bigger than I am now (I ballooned due to some less than great things going on) - at my biggest I was a size 28/30 and weighed a good 10 stones something heavier than I am now. The weird thing is back then I didn't notice. Well I kind of did but I didn't care because I didn't really care about how I looked, I thought I was one of the ugly ones anyway so I might as well focus on other things (like academia/my career).
My face has got slimmer, well I have overall and I think I'm more aware of my looks now. I've still got a relatively young looking face and I like how my body looks in photos overall. Some days I do feel like the old Meli size even though I know I'm not. I think I should make more of my relative youth and body now because I don't want to regret not loving myself as I am now. Life is too short isn't it? |
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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
"I think I have grown into me
I look better older than I did when I was younger
I've always been short and always on the fat side
There was a lot of self loathing going on in my youth
I look at photos and can see it
I was also painfully shy, a lot of that coming down to a lack of confidence about how I looked
I am now a pretty confident adult with a good way with people on the whole
People like me, some even fancy me
I'm doing OK
Agreed. I think lack of confidence can put people off. When I became single after 20 years in my mid 40’s I’d no idea I was remotely attractive (I’d been belittled for 2 decades) and was shocked by the amount of attention I got both on fab and in the real world. It took a while to get used to it tbh. Xx"
I feel you there, I had zero confidence in my looks til I came on here and didn't think I was that attractive, but I've certainly had my eyes opened to the fact that actually that's not the case |
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"My husband has improved with age, he looks younger now than he did 15 years ago. I think many men are fortunate that way. He’s always been funny and confident and I’ve always been attracted to him but I think he’s more confident now than he was years ago.
I’ve doubled in size and things are heading south, I always felt fat and frumpy in my 20s but looking back at photos i was fine and it was nothing a nice outfit and some decent make up couldn’t have sorted out. I wish I could look like that now!
Lou x "
Yeah I get that. My 15 year old daughter has far more makeup expertise and dress sense than I ever did. X |
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"I think I have grown into me
I look better older than I did when I was younger
I've always been short and always on the fat side
There was a lot of self loathing going on in my youth
I look at photos and can see it
I was also painfully shy, a lot of that coming down to a lack of confidence about how I looked
I am now a pretty confident adult with a good way with people on the whole
People like me, some even fancy me
I'm doing OK
Agreed. I think lack of confidence can put people off. When I became single after 20 years in my mid 40’s I’d no idea I was remotely attractive (I’d been belittled for 2 decades) and was shocked by the amount of attention I got both on fab and in the real world. It took a while to get used to it tbh. Xx
I feel you there, I had zero confidence in my looks til I came on here and didn't think I was that attractive, but I've certainly had my eyes opened to the fact that actually that's not the case "
Absolutely. From what I can see you’re very pretty! |
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"I think I have grown into me
I look better older than I did when I was younger
I've always been short and always on the fat side
There was a lot of self loathing going on in my youth
I look at photos and can see it
I was also painfully shy, a lot of that coming down to a lack of confidence about how I looked
I am now a pretty confident adult with a good way with people on the whole
People like me, some even fancy me
I'm doing OK
Agreed. I think lack of confidence can put people off. When I became single after 20 years in my mid 40’s I’d no idea I was remotely attractive (I’d been belittled for 2 decades) and was shocked by the amount of attention I got both on fab and in the real world. It took a while to get used to it tbh. Xx
I feel you there, I had zero confidence in my looks til I came on here and didn't think I was that attractive, but I've certainly had my eyes opened to the fact that actually that's not the case "
Yep, this is a thing, Fab is either a confidence builder or killer, lucky enough to find it a builder for me |
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I was actually quite pretty but painfully shy. All my friends were much more confident and i just hid in the shadows. Looking back my younger years would have been better if i had been more outgoing. |
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Physically I haven't changed probably since I was 14  Puberty must be just round the corner...
I've always been outgoing and social, so no change there!
I think being confident in myself, accepting and being happy with who I am physically and mentally is how I've changed. There are virtually no pics of me around that age. I hated how I looked.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was never thin but never this size either. I had a nice shapy body but in the 90s the fashion only liked skinny and athletic, so my nice curvy body never fit in there. I never cared though, I was very relaxed and natural. I still am but now I feel like wine, the older I get the better I taste   |
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"Physically I haven't changed probably since I was 14 Puberty must be just round the corner...
I've always been outgoing and social, so no change there!
I think being confident in myself, accepting and being happy with who I am physically and mentally is how I've changed. There are virtually no pics of me around that age. I hated how I looked.
"
Really? You’re absolutely gorgeous and I’m sure you were gorgeous as a young ‘un too!
Funny how our perception of the way we look effects those around us. In no way was I any kind of ‘hottie magnet’ when I was young! X |
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I actually think I look better now than I did when I was younger, grey hairs, wrinkles and all...I've kind of grown into my hamster cheeks. I've never not liked the way I look, and I've always been comfortable in my own skin...but I think when I was younger I felt slightly more pressure to fit into societies expectations of how I should look. Now I really couldn't give a monkeys, this is me, take me or leave me. |
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"I actually think I look better now than I did when I was younger, grey hairs, wrinkles and all...I've kind of grown into my hamster cheeks. I've never not liked the way I look, and I've always been comfortable in my own skin...but I think when I was younger I felt slightly more pressure to fit into societies expectations of how I should look. Now I really couldn't give a monkeys, this is me, take me or leave me. "
Good on you lovely - and you look great to me.
I think society’s expectations have definitely changed though - for the better! I see so much more body positivity now than I did then.
I and all my friends ‘had’ to be a size 10 or 12. I remember eating very little after my first child (bloody silly as I was breast feeding) as the pressure to ‘get my figure back’ at 23 was enormous!
I think it’s great that beauty is no longer defined by dress size! |
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I think we're both better looking as we get older. We recently came across some pics of us on our first weekend away in London about 12 years ago. We're both a lot more confident now as well so that may be something to do with it.
|
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"I think we're both better looking as we get older. We recently came across some pics of us on our first weekend away in London about 12 years ago. We're both a lot more confident now as well so that may be something to do with it.
"
I’m sure it is. I think confidence makes a huge difference in how people perceive us! |
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"I think we're both better looking as we get older. We recently came across some pics of us on our first weekend away in London about 12 years ago. We're both a lot more confident now as well so that may be something to do with it.
I’m sure it is. I think confidence makes a huge difference in how people perceive us! "
Confident enought to not care how people perceive us  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was definitely better looking when I was younger, but the ratio of big girls wasn’t so many as now so I was always the fat friend. I didn’t have much confidence then and in some ways I have more. X |
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"I think as you grow older you accept more about yourself and do not care as much of what others think of you. When younger I often think it’s about trying to impress others, or to conform"
Yes I think we all live through those times. |
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"I think we're both better looking as we get older. We recently came across some pics of us on our first weekend away in London about 12 years ago. We're both a lot more confident now as well so that may be something to do with it.
I’m sure it is. I think confidence makes a huge difference in how people perceive us!
Confident enought to not care how people perceive us "
That too! |
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"I was definitely better looking when I was younger, but the ratio of big girls wasn’t so many as now so I was always the fat friend. I didn’t have much confidence then and in some ways I have more. X "
I remember there seemed to be a very narrow definition of what was considered attractive. Far more people seem to have a broader outlook as to what ‘beauty’ is to them - which is great!
And you know I think you’re bloody lovely! |
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"I think as you grow older you accept more about yourself and do not care as much of what others think of you. When younger I often think it’s about trying to impress others, or to conformYes I think we all live through those times. "
Yep - my youngest died her gorgeous red hair recently in order to ‘fit in’ with her schoolmates. I’m hoping she’ll grow it out when she finishes school and gets away from all the bitching! X |
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"I look at myself when i was young and wish i had the confidence I've got now. "
It’s weird isn’t it? If we didn’t fit in to a certain mould we didn’t stand a chance! I hope it’s kinder for the young now! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A few weeks ago I was having a bit of a clear out and came across some photo albums of holidays. One was from my very first holiday abroad, an 18-30 holiday in Ibiza with lads from work. I have to say I was pretty shredded, but I had no clue about women, I could barely talk to women - I was painfully shy. My hair hasn't changed barring a few grey hairs. Truthfully, I'd rather be the man I am today than the boy I was then. |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"I look at myself when i was young and wish i had the confidence I've got now.
It’s weird isn’t it? If we didn’t fit in to a certain mould we didn’t stand a chance! I hope it’s kinder for the young now! "
They have their own challenges. Our knowledge may not help because times,are different now. |
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"A few weeks ago I was having a bit of a clear out and came across some photo albums of holidays. One was from my very first holiday abroad, an 18-30 holiday in Ibiza with lads from work. I have to say I was pretty shredded, but I had no clue about women, I could barely talk to women - I was painfully shy. My hair hasn't changed barring a few grey hairs. Truthfully, I'd rather be the man I am today than the boy I was then."
Oh god I remember 18-30’s holidays! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Holy thread resurrection Batman
I think I’ve got better looking with age. I’ve always thought I’d myself as confident no matter the age. I always tell my son he’s a lucky bastard as when he’s much older he will look like me as he looks exactly like I did when I was 20 |
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"Holy thread resurrection Batman
I think I’ve got better looking with age. I’ve always thought I’d myself as confident no matter the age. I always tell my son he’s a lucky bastard as when he’s much older he will look like me as he looks exactly like I did when I was 20 "
Wow - you ARE confident. Nice arse though. |
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I was in my twenties so long ago that it's almost as if I'm thinking of a different person. I'm probably more confident socially and personally. As I hurtle along to 70 I'm not less body confident but I am aware that twenty year old me would be horrified at how it's changed |
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I had zero confidence when I was younger and assumed I was invisible but accepted that as my lot.
Didn't give it much thought until I was in my 40s and illness made me stop amd assess but even then I had no confidence.
It was only just before turning 50 that I finally realised that I wasn't invisible and discovered my self esteem.
|
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Am confident now was never when younger! Was married at 16 for 17 years to b constantly told I was fat and ugly by controlling first husband! And as mad as it sounds I truly believed him! I look back now at those pics and see that I was neither! X |
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"Hi my lovelies.
Yesterday I found a photo in a cupboard of me at 23/24. I remember having far less confidence at the time than I do now - and thought I was unattractive - at least without makeup!
So - have you changed much since your younger self? (I’m far fatter and wrinklier) And how confident were you in your twenties?
Like now - my confidence stemmed from my personality rather than my looks.
However - when I look at old photos I think I was far more attractive than I thought I was at the time - if that makes sense?
Do you look at old photos of yourself and wish you’d been more confident in your looks at the time? "
We're both more body confident now than in our 20s. We look at old photos and think "what's with the clothes and that hair"!!
..... (Where did the years go?  ) |
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I look back & realise I’ve wasted so much time fretting about my looks & my weight. I wasn’t fat - I was told & made to believe I was.
I’m larger now but I also know why & am being helped to do something about it.
I’m so glad social media wasn’t about then as I think I could have had serious issues.
J x |
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I was confident back then …. In those days …. I just didn’t know how to use that confidence at the time. If only I’d known then what I know now
But then I wouldn’t be the ME I am now … I haven’t changed much, apart from age |
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By *ack688Man
over a year ago
abruzzo Italy (and UK) |
I didn’t have much confidence in my looks when I was younger, and yes, looking back I should have been more so I think. Nowadays it’s kind of up and down, I know some people find me attractive and that’s great, but I still get very nervous about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Low confidence then and the same now, at least as far as social interactions and ladies go. Professionally very confident now. Definitely greyer and a bit heavier! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Am much more stable now, back then look at me the wrong way you had a visit to A&E, would shag anything with a pulse and didn't care who got hurt by my actions. |
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"I had zero confidence when I was younger and assumed I was invisible but accepted that as my lot.
Didn't give it much thought until I was in my 40s and illness made me stop amd assess but even then I had no confidence.
It was only just before turning 50 that I finally realised that I wasn't invisible and discovered my self esteem.
"
I’m glad you’re in a better place now |
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"I was in my twenties so long ago that it's almost as if I'm thinking of a different person. I'm probably more confident socially and personally. As I hurtle along to 70 I'm not less body confident but I am aware that twenty year old me would be horrified at how it's changed "
I get that. One of my first meets on here (you know - the ones who wildly exaggerate?) said I had the body of a 22 year old when he verified me. I didn’t show it - if I’d look like this at 22 I’d have screamed the bloody place down! |
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"Am confident now was never when younger! Was married at 16 for 17 years to b constantly told I was fat and ugly by controlling first husband! And as mad as it sounds I truly believed him! I look back now at those pics and see that I was neither! X"
I get that. It only takes one poisonous ex to **** you up for years! X |
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"Hi my lovelies.
Yesterday I found a photo in a cupboard of me at 23/24. I remember having far less confidence at the time than I do now - and thought I was unattractive - at least without makeup!
So - have you changed much since your younger self? (I’m far fatter and wrinklier) And how confident were you in your twenties?
Like now - my confidence stemmed from my personality rather than my looks.
However - when I look at old photos I think I was far more attractive than I thought I was at the time - if that makes sense?
Do you look at old photos of yourself and wish you’d been more confident in your looks at the time?
We're both more body confident now than in our 20s. We look at old photos and think "what's with the clothes and that hair"!!
..... (Where did the years go? )"
I had proper eighties hair. Short on top - long at the back. I looked ridiculous but thought I looked great! |
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"Hi my lovelies.
Yesterday I found a photo in a cupboard of me at 23/24. I remember having far less confidence at the time than I do now - and thought I was unattractive - at least without makeup!
So - have you changed much since your younger self? (I’m far fatter and wrinklier) And how confident were you in your twenties?
Like now - my confidence stemmed from my personality rather than my looks.
However - when I look at old photos I think I was far more attractive than I thought I was at the time - if that makes sense?
Do you look at old photos of yourself and wish you’d been more confident in your looks at the time? "
Just this afternoon I made a picture of me 5 years ago and me now. There is a noticeable difference. It’s noticeable in a good way and I’m far happier now |
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"Hi my lovelies.
Yesterday I found a photo in a cupboard of me at 23/24. I remember having far less confidence at the time than I do now - and thought I was unattractive - at least without makeup!
So - have you changed much since your younger self? (I’m far fatter and wrinklier) And how confident were you in your twenties?
Like now - my confidence stemmed from my personality rather than my looks.
However - when I look at old photos I think I was far more attractive than I thought I was at the time - if that makes sense?
Do you look at old photos of yourself and wish you’d been more confident in your looks at the time?
Just this afternoon I made a picture of me 5 years ago and me now. There is a noticeable difference. It’s noticeable in a good way and I’m far happier now "
That’s nice to read! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi my lovelies.
Yesterday I found a photo in a cupboard of me at 23/24. I remember having far less confidence at the time than I do now - and thought I was unattractive - at least without makeup!
So - have you changed much since your younger self? (I’m far fatter and wrinklier) And how confident were you in your twenties?
Like now - my confidence stemmed from my personality rather than my looks.
However - when I look at old photos I think I was far more attractive than I thought I was at the time - if that makes sense?
Do you look at old photos of yourself and wish you’d been more confident in your looks at the time? "
Great thoughtful post OP
I certainly lacked confidence 25 years ago
It has grown as i have got older. Still some insecurities, however o am happy with where i am.
Would i change anything? I m not sure i would. The path i have taken has had a low of lows and then highs. I have a children in their twenties who are enjoying life and are happy. That mean so much/
|
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When i was young with a full head of hair I seriously lacked confidence
In pubs and clubs I always needed a drink to be able to talk to some to someone
Now 25 years later with less hair and a few extra pounds I have no problem striking up a conversation with compete strangers
I guess confidence comes with age and experience...such a shame I didn't have that when I was younger ...imagine the possibilities |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When i was young with a full head of hair I seriously lacked confidence
In pubs and clubs I always needed a drink to be able to talk to some to someone
Now 25 years later with less hair and a few extra pounds I have no problem striking up a conversation with compete strangers
I guess confidence comes with age and experience...such a shame I didn't have that when I was younger ...imagine the possibilities "
Sounds daft nut it took me a long time to realise but if you talk to women and also listen to their conversation then you are much more likely to have a chance.
Would would have thought  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Update here. Not really following the OP thread i know.
Great thread from the OP so view her profile/
Local and thought we could may be have things in common.
Went to message and could not as apparently am too old
This is not me having a go at the OP so i do not expect any negative comments.
Neither is it a go at peoples preferences regarding ages so again please do not feedback accordingly.
However, am i officially out to pasture and too old for FAB?
Seems odd when talking about the virtues of experience and virtues of being older and more confident that i cannot even message some who is my age? |
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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Hi my lovelies.
Yesterday I found a photo in a cupboard of me at 23/24. I remember having far less confidence at the time than I do now - and thought I was unattractive - at least without makeup!
So - have you changed much since your younger self? (I’m far fatter and wrinklier) And how confident were you in your twenties?
Like now - my confidence stemmed from my personality rather than my looks.
However - when I look at old photos I think I was far more attractive than I thought I was at the time - if that makes sense?
Do you look at old photos of yourself and wish you’d been more confident in your looks at the time? "
I looked a lot less tired 15-20 years ago (unsurprisingly) and I was also a lot slimmer (flat stomach) and really physically fit.
I had almost bulletproof confidence in my late twenties, but that’s long gone. So I wish I had what I had then rather than now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi my lovelies.
Yesterday I found a photo in a cupboard of me at 23/24. I remember having far less confidence at the time than I do now - and thought I was unattractive - at least without makeup!
So - have you changed much since your younger self? (I’m far fatter and wrinklier) And how confident were you in your twenties?
Like now - my confidence stemmed from my personality rather than my looks.
However - when I look at old photos I think I was far more attractive than I thought I was at the time - if that makes sense?
Do you look at old photos of yourself and wish you’d been more confident in your looks at the time?
I looked a lot less tired 15-20 years ago (unsurprisingly) and I was also a lot slimmer (flat stomach) and really physically fit.
I had almost bulletproof confidence in my late twenties, but that’s long gone. So I wish I had what I had then rather than now."
Interesting. What was is the reason for your reduced confidence? |
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