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How self aware are you?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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And is there such a thing as being too self aware?
For example, if someone you're talking to looks bored, do you pick up on that or do you keep talking? If the replies to messages are short and to the point, does it make you think they're not interested and you think you're being boring?
On the other hand, there's the good self awareness, if you make a comment that hurts someone, can you reflect over the course of a few hours and apologise?
I think I have self awareness, but I think it can be the root cause of many of my insecurities by overthinking my behaviour. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And is there such a thing as being too self aware?
For example, if someone you're talking to looks bored, do you pick up on that or do you keep talking? If the replies to messages are short and to the point, does it make you think they're not interested and you think you're being boring?
On the other hand, there's the good self awareness, if you make a comment that hurts someone, can you reflect over the course of a few hours and apologise?
I think I have self awareness, but I think it can be the root cause of many of my insecurities by overthinking my behaviour."
I like your Christmassy jacket.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Very, always watching for the signs. I always think I bore people or that they will bore of me.
This is the reason I never go out of my way to message because I never think that they will want to know  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very, always watching for the signs. I always think I bore people or that they will bore of me.
This is the reason I never go out of my way to message because I never think that they will want to know "
Oh behave!   |
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I think there's a fine line between being self aware and being anxious. I do tend to try and look for signs that people really don't like me and they're being polite etc but it can be a bit self destructive at times too. It's something I'm working on and just enjoy the moment instead of analysing to the nth degree |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"And is there such a thing as being too self aware?
For example, if someone you're talking to looks bored, do you pick up on that or do you keep talking? If the replies to messages are short and to the point, does it make you think they're not interested and you think you're being boring?
On the other hand, there's the good self awareness, if you make a comment that hurts someone, can you reflect over the course of a few hours and apologise?
I think I have self awareness, but I think it can be the root cause of many of my insecurities by overthinking my behaviour.
I like your Christmassy jacket. "
Thank you, kindly  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very, always watching for the signs. I always think I bore people or that they will bore of me.
This is the reason I never go out of my way to message because I never think that they will want to know "
Not me, x  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Very, always watching for the signs. I always think I bore people or that they will bore of me.
This is the reason I never go out of my way to message because I never think that they will want to know "
I worry about the same thing. I don't want to message first because I don't want them feeling obligated to reply when they don't want to, but then I don't want to fade out of memory either  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think there's a fine line between being self aware and being anxious. I do tend to try and look for signs that people really don't like me and they're being polite etc but it can be a bit self destructive at times too. It's something I'm working on and just enjoy the moment instead of analysing to the nth degree "
I'd agree with that. In general we all tend to think we're self aware just like we all think we're pretty damn smart - it's part of being human vs being a lower life form or machine. I think I'm a fucking genius, but plenty of others would argue very strongly against that statement....
We're all individuals and we mostly don't know what the fuck goes on in the minds of others or what they're thinking....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I stopped giving two hoots about that kind of nonsense a long time.
Be your own self! "
It's definitely something I aspire to achieve one day although it's not something that comes easy but glad that you are able to do that |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"I think there's a fine line between being self aware and being anxious. I do tend to try and look for signs that people really don't like me and they're being polite etc but it can be a bit self destructive at times too. It's something I'm working on and just enjoy the moment instead of analysing to the nth degree "
Yes, I'm similar to this. Generally I think I could waffle on and I know that can get rather dull so I do try and rein it in; it's not that I talk about myself a lot (although I'm navel gazing here) but I know I'm relatively, well boring as far as people go. I do sometimes think 'ach, they're not really asking questions back so probably best I don't talk too much' but I'm also aware that people have different conversational styles and overthinking never really leads to a happy mindset.
So yes, I'm relatively self aware, as I'm sure we'd all like to think we are. But sometimes? I don't think too much about it and enjoy it for what it is and live in the moment. As far as apologising goes, I'm fairly quick to do so if I feel I've overstepped a mark. This has featured a lot of I and me so I'm possibly narcissistic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very, always watching for the signs. I always think I bore people or that they will bore of me.
This is the reason I never go out of my way to message because I never think that they will want to know
Oh behave! "
Who put 50p in you tonight? Pipe down short stuff  |
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By *igmaMan
over a year ago
Yorkshire |
"I stopped giving two hoots about that kind of nonsense a long time.
Be your own self!
It's definitely something I aspire to achieve one day although it's not something that comes easy but glad that you are able to do that "
Comes around mid 30’s when all the accumulated shit blows the fans fuse |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I used to overthink things all the time... a lot of it was down to being married to a narcissist... but now im single i tend not to care two hoots...
"
Yeah, I think other people definitely play a part in how you can feel about yourself where you think you stand but it's good when you can have that "fuck it" attitude |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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‘You could probably say I'm difficult, I probably talk too much. I over-analyze and over-think things,Yes it's a nasty crutch. I'm usually only waiting for you to stop talking,So that I can.
Concerning two-way streets I have to say,That I am not a fan!’
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I assume that everyone who talks to me is bored so I move on/ tail off conversations.
I'm now an expert at conversation distraction. If they ask me a question I give some beige response then ask them something about them. They forget I exist and start telling me about them.
I've done it multiple times today. People really only give a shit about themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very, always watching for the signs. I always think I bore people or that they will bore of me.
This is the reason I never go out of my way to message because I never think that they will want to know
Oh behave!
Who put 50p in you tonight? Pipe down short stuff "
Make me.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to overthink things all the time... a lot of it was down to being married to a narcissist... but now im single i tend not to care two hoots...
Yeah, I think other people definitely play a part in how you can feel about yourself where you think you stand but it's good when you can have that "fuck it" attitude "
Dont get me wrong theres still times when i struggle but for the most part its all good...i believe there comes a time when you just have to accept who you are and you cant change folks perceptions ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m not sure whether I’d class it as being self aware but if I’ve been chatting with someone and the conversation has been good, then the messages start getting smaller and smaller, I just presume they’ve lost interest.........
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"I'm not sure that you're really asking about self awareness in the op "
Yeah, what's being talked about here is how self-conscious people are, which is not really the same thing.
Being self aware is, say, getting angry about something but being able to step back and work out why and what to do about it, rather than just lashing out.
I'm self-aware that this is probably unnecessary pedantry |
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"I assume that everyone who talks to me is bored so I move on/ tail off conversations.
I'm now an expert at conversation distraction. If they ask me a question I give some beige response then ask them something about them. They forget I exist and start telling me about them.
I've done it multiple times today. People really only give a shit about themselves. "
What mail ? Your filters are the tightest I have seen on here  |
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I'm very self concious, more so as stereotyped fat, causing a loss of confidence in me as I became more aware. Because of that I analyse everything when in company nowadays. I find a lot of people are very quick to judge someone on sight even in these days of politically correct attitudes. I'm very critical of myself privately. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not sure that you're really asking about self awareness in the op
Yeah, what's being talked about here is how self-conscious people are, which is not really the same thing.
Being self aware is, say, getting angry about something but being able to step back and work out why and what to do about it, rather than just lashing out.
I'm self-aware that this is probably unnecessary pedantry "
Or is that self-consciousness |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We're becoming aware/conscious in this thread that we all think differently and define things very differently and the correct definition is only correct to a person if they believe it to be true - successful self awarenesses sharing..... |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I’m not sure whether I’d class it as being self aware but if I’ve been chatting with someone and the conversation has been good, then the messages start getting smaller and smaller, I just presume they’ve lost interest.........
"
I used to think along similar lines, being the classic overthinker that I am - then it dawned on me that maintaining huge long messages has a limit - there's only so long you can sustain it once you get past all the introductory stuff and so messages settle more into a "chat" format where they're shorter mostly but occasionally punctuated by longer ones - it doesn't have to mean lack of interest, just a natural change in pattern.
As for self-awareness, in some respects I do, in others I don't - I can blather on without thinking but then become conscious that I'm talking to a blank face and then the over-thinking kicks in.
Likewise any form of confrontation can leave me overthinking - as YOWTD said though not sure if that is self-awareness or self-consciousness - the two overlap for sure but can also be quite distinctively different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I assume that everyone who talks to me is bored so I move on/ tail off conversations.
I'm now an expert at conversation distraction. If they ask me a question I give some beige response then ask them something about them. They forget I exist and start telling me about them.
I've done it multiple times today. People really only give a shit about themselves. "
I like doing this when you are meant to be doing something else but it would be rude to walk away, turn the conversation to them and theirs and they will talk at you oblivious of interaction for ages |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm not sure that you're really asking about self awareness in the op
Yeah, what's being talked about here is how self-conscious people are, which is not really the same thing.
Being self aware is, say, getting angry about something but being able to step back and work out why and what to do about it, rather than just lashing out.
I'm self-aware that this is probably unnecessary pedantry "
Not pedantic at all! I guess my points were geared more towards being aware of your own personality around other people which I thought was self awareness.
However, I can see why it would need to be self conscious instead |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I assume that everyone who talks to me is bored so I move on/ tail off conversations.
I'm now an expert at conversation distraction. If they ask me a question I give some beige response then ask them something about them. They forget I exist and start telling me about them.
I've done it multiple times today. People really only give a shit about themselves. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We're becoming aware/conscious in this thread that we all think differently and define things very differently and the correct definition is only correct to a person if they believe it to be true - successful self awarenesses sharing..... "
Ahhhh but the definition can change to a person when presented with new information or different points of _iew. Is is self awareness to take that information onboard?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I assume that everyone who talks to me is bored so I move on/ tail off conversations.
I'm now an expert at conversation distraction. If they ask me a question I give some beige response then ask them something about them. They forget I exist and start telling me about them.
I've done it multiple times today. People really only give a shit about themselves.
I like doing this when you are meant to be doing something else but it would be rude to walk away, turn the conversation to them and theirs and they will talk at you oblivious of interaction for ages "
I do this, but only because I want to try and keep a conversation going |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very, always watching for the signs. I always think I bore people or that they will bore of me.
This is the reason I never go out of my way to message because I never think that they will want to know
I worry about the same thing. I don't want to message first because I don't want them feeling obligated to reply when they don't want to, but then I don't want to fade out of memory either "
That is exactly it, such a hard balance, especially if you like someone |
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"I’m self-aware.... it’s usually me who loses interest because the conversation doesn’t hold my attention.
I’m a straight talker and I think most recognise that when face to face talking"
You could try sitting down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Over thinking or analysing is a form of mental illness as it can be debilitating, it can cause anxiety, depression and prevent people from doing things they naturally desire over a hypothetical fear Which then manifests into self consciousness and complexes and paranoia.
I’ve suffered from this since being a kid, simple things that I still do now, like, I should of said that, what if I didn’t say that, they’re not interested in what I have to say, do I look stupid, am in going to perform blah blah.
It only takes one strange reaction and it can be triggered |
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