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Bad breath
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I have been seeing a woman for a while now and no she’s not into swinging lol.
She smokes but its not that which is making her breath smell. Ive told her she smells of fags hoping she makes an effort to sort that out,it was just a way of saying it without offending.
She lacks confidence,isn’t confident in her looks and does have crooked awkward teeth which she hates and has openly said she wishes she could have false teeth.
She brushes her teeth once a day but only if she is going out,i have now started to avoid kissing her which used to lead to sex but now our sex life has practically gone too.
Ive tried talking about how people brush there teeth,ive talked about mouth wash,i use floss and leave it lying around but to no avail,
How do I put it to such a delicate person
This is a serious post so no smart answers please
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wish I hadn’t bothered,
Do men think they score points with other users of this site by trying to look superior "
You're a right catch, aren't you!!!
Bad breath or not, you've overstepped the mark by being a prize dick!
Hope she sees this post and blocks your ass! |
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Sorry OP. But this is not ideal.
I'd never see a smoker because of the smell.
But basic hygiene & teeth brushing should come as standard. If you've tried and she's not taken the hint, I'd say goodbye.
Plus, was she always this slovenly and you've accepted it? Or is this a new thing?
Hope it resolves |
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You’ve done the hint thing, now it’s the truth thing.
There’s plenty of strategies to try and get someone to improve on their appearance, health or personality issues but if these don’t work, the next obvious step is to be open and honest. But with that, it’s not to be done in a cruel way but as an honest straight talk, with empathy.
As the song said ‘cruel to be kind’ good luck Op  |
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When i first got with her i had a family health plan at my dentist so I suggested she got one,
She went for her first check up and scale n polish and the hygienist hurt her when she was cleaning and now she wont go |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you've tried everything subtle and kind, and the relationship depends on it, then you've got to bite the bullet and just say it. The relationship is going doen the pan as is, this either rectifies it or finishes it. |
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Depending on the lockdown rules where you are why not plan something nice for you both, give her a reason to dress up and compliment her and all the effort she's made. If she lacks confidence she may respond better to positivity rather than highlighting a flaw. Just a thought |
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"If you've tried everything subtle and kind, and the relationship depends on it, then you've got to bite the bullet and just say it. The relationship is going doen the pan as is, this either rectifies it or finishes it. "
That’s actually a good point |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe we should just leave this,
I honestly don’t understand the hostility im getting ."
Eating cucumber can help but flossing and brushing at least twice a day is better advice with a good mouthwash aswell. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You could try leaving it alone. You sledge hammer hints can seem cruel so if you're not happy just leave her to it.
Also, the reason for the first comment may be because most swingers I know have a moral problem with cheating. |
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"Depending on the lockdown rules where you are why not plan something nice for you both, give her a reason to dress up and compliment her and all the effort she's made. If she lacks confidence she may respond better to positivity rather than highlighting a flaw. Just a thought"
Believe me she dosent go short of compliments and treats |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It was a genuine question. If she doesn't know then you'd do better building her confidence rather than betraying it, imho.....  "
I thought this was a really important and valid point tbh. If you're cheating dIscreetly behind her back on here and she's emotionally fragile then it's not the most helpful thing you could be doing to help with her confidence. Better off speaking to a dentist who deals with this stuff all day long |
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"It was a genuine question. If she doesn't know then you'd do better building her confidence rather than betraying it, imho.....
I thought this was a really important and valid point tbh. If you're cheating dIscreetly behind her back on here and she's emotionally fragile then it's not the most helpful thing you could be doing to help with her confidence. Better off speaking to a dentist who deals with this stuff all day long "
It wont be the thing that’s affecting her confidence as she dosent know.
Your dentist line is a good shout |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Since it seems like you've tried subtle hints and suggestions, then I'd say its time to put all of that aside and have a very open conversation, no sugar coating or hinting. Tell her this is a deal breaker for you and that the future of your relationship depends upon sorting this out.
If she still chooses to do nothing then it's up to you to decide if it's time to move on.
Good luck OP. |
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"You could try leaving it alone. You sledge hammer hints can seem cruel so if you're not happy just leave her to it.
Also, the reason for the first comment may be because most swingers I know have a moral problem with cheating. "
So you think the hints are not going unnoticed just ignored?
Yes there are a lot of swingers who enjoy taking the moral high ground on a lot of things,but im sure there are a lot of people who would frown upon swinging |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe we should just leave this,
I honestly don’t understand the hostility im getting .
Eating cucumber can help but flossing and brushing at least twice a day is better advice with a good mouthwash aswell. "
And I wasn’t trying to clever. I thought my advice would be welcomed. |
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"Maybe we should just leave this,
I honestly don’t understand the hostility im getting .
Eating cucumber can help but flossing and brushing at least twice a day is better advice with a good mouthwash aswell.
And I wasn’t trying to clever. I thought my advice would be welcomed. "
It wasn’t aimed at you my friend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t see any point scoring, just those with a moral compass commenting.
To be honest she can’t mean much to you if you are playing away so I would just be blunt but kind and tell her straight and if she doesn’t improve after that then end things. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
You have to tell her sit her down etc she could have an Infection
Be kind to her get her some strong mouthwash and tell her to use salt and warm water to gargle with also brush teeth twice a day and floss x |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Maybe we should just leave this,
I honestly don’t understand the hostility im getting .
Eating cucumber can help but flossing and brushing at least twice a day is better advice with a good mouthwash aswell. "
Or yogurt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly, if you're having to discuss the merits of personal hygene with a mentally competent adult, maybe it's time to call it a day?"
Gotta agree here. I know you dint want to offend but maybe you should just come right out and say it put you off kissing her, it turns you off. If she makes the effort, she cares, if she doesnt then you know its not worth your time if your unhappy mate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven’t seen anything wrong with people answers here there’s no smart arses as you said I think if you’ve given hints then it’s time to talk to her in the best way you can it’ll probably be slightly awkward it’s not exactly what someone wants to hear but if she’s unaware about it she should know ... |
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"I haven’t seen anything wrong with people answers here there’s no smart arses as you said I think if you’ve given hints then it’s time to talk to her in the best way you can it’ll probably be slightly awkward it’s not exactly what someone wants to hear but if she’s unaware about it she should know ..."
Ive had a few private messages
Sorry if you got the wrong impression |
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"Honestly, if you're having to discuss the merits of personal hygene with a mentally competent adult, maybe it's time to call it a day?
Gotta agree here. I know you dint want to offend but maybe you should just come right out and say it put you off kissing her, it turns you off. If she makes the effort, she cares, if she doesnt then you know its not worth your time if your unhappy mate"
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"Honestly, if you're having to discuss the merits of personal hygene with a mentally competent adult, maybe it's time to call it a day?
Gotta agree here. I know you dint want to offend but maybe you should just come right out and say it put you off kissing her, it turns you off. If she makes the effort, she cares, if she doesnt then you know its not worth your time if your unhappy mate"
Message noted,thank you |
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"You can also get those tiny brushes for inbetweener ones teeth "
Dont think I replied to you?
If my reply came after your message it was only because I hadn’t discovered the teply with quote sorry.
As for not liking the replies,i dont mind any relevant reply but questioning my morals has little to do with bad breath as some have done |
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"I don’t see any point scoring, just those with a moral compass commenting.
To be honest she can’t mean much to you if you are playing away so I would just be blunt but kind and tell her straight and if she doesn’t improve after that then end things."
I suppose the point i was trying to make is I genuinely asked about a bad breath problem I didn’t put and by the way what do you think of my morals,
Your point on being blunt has been noted thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tooth brushing at least twice a day
A good mouthwash - not necessarily a branded one
Tongue scrape
Floss
Interdental brushes
3 monthly check ups with scale & polish
Carry no sugar peppermints
Cut down on things like caffeine
Eat crunchy fruits and things like parsley
Green tea can also help
Does she suffer from acid reflux / digestion issues? - those can cause bad breath too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Since it seems like you've tried subtle hints and suggestions, then I'd say its time to put all of that aside and have a very open conversation, no sugar coating or hinting. Tell her this is a deal breaker for you and that the future of your relationship depends upon sorting this out.
If she still chooses to do nothing then it's up to you to decide if it's time to move on.
Good luck OP. "
I agree with this |
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"Tooth brushing at least twice a day
A good mouthwash - not necessarily a branded one
Tongue scrape
Floss
Interdental brushes
3 monthly check ups with scale & polish
Carry no sugar peppermints
Cut down on things like caffeine
Eat crunchy fruits and things like parsley
Green tea can also help
Does she suffer from acid reflux / digestion issues? - those can cause bad breath too"
Thanks all these sound good,how doni get her to do them ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Tooth brushing at least twice a day
A good mouthwash - not necessarily a branded one
Tongue scrape
Floss
Interdental brushes
3 monthly check ups with scale & polish
Carry no sugar peppermints
Cut down on things like caffeine
Eat crunchy fruits and things like parsley
Green tea can also help
Does she suffer from acid reflux / digestion issues? - those can cause bad breath too
Thanks all these sound good,how doni get her to do them ?"
I think you have to be honest and tell her the problem straight out and then suggest those as remedies |
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"What was it that first attracted you to her and made you see past this initially?"
At the risk of leaving myself open to more criticism it was her body,then after meeting it was her personality.being honest i don’t remember her breath smelling then,maybe she was making and effort as it was early.
I do really enjoy kissing her or did she has lovely full lips and is nice and gentle which i like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Tooth brushing at least twice a day
A good mouthwash - not necessarily a branded one
Tongue scrape
Floss
Interdental brushes
3 monthly check ups with scale & polish
Carry no sugar peppermints
Cut down on things like caffeine
Eat crunchy fruits and things like parsley
Green tea can also help
Does she suffer from acid reflux / digestion issues? - those can cause bad breath too
Thanks all these sound good,how doni get her to do them ?
I think you have to be honest and tell her the problem straight out and then suggest those as remedies"
Yeah, I think working with her is a better approach than an ultimatum
If she's 'hung up' on her teeth, it's likely that she is very self conscious of it
Help her with it, maybe look at a cosmetic dentist and build her general dental hygiene into those visits
Help her be happy about her mouth again |
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"Tooth brushing at least twice a day
A good mouthwash - not necessarily a branded one
Tongue scrape
Floss
Interdental brushes
3 monthly check ups with scale & polish
Carry no sugar peppermints
Cut down on things like caffeine
Eat crunchy fruits and things like parsley
Green tea can also help
Does she suffer from acid reflux / digestion issues? - those can cause bad breath too
Thanks all these sound good,how doni get her to do them ?
I think you have to be honest and tell her the problem straight out and then suggest those as remedies
Yeah, I think working with her is a better approach than an ultimatum
If she's 'hung up' on her teeth, it's likely that she is very self conscious of it
Help her with it, maybe look at a cosmetic dentist and build her general dental hygiene into those visits
Help her be happy about her mouth again "
I would happily pay for dental cosmetics as she said she said in the past she would want false teeth but how do I even say that without it sounding that IM not happy with her teeth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Also OP, does she drink alcohol on your meets?
Certain alcohols like ciders and wines can give people awful breath
If she is smoking and drinking prior to or during your meets, that won't be helping matters
I notice it quite a bit on people cos I don't (very rarely) drink |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Tooth brushing at least twice a day
A good mouthwash - not necessarily a branded one
Tongue scrape
Floss
Interdental brushes
3 monthly check ups with scale & polish
Carry no sugar peppermints
Cut down on things like caffeine
Eat crunchy fruits and things like parsley
Green tea can also help
Does she suffer from acid reflux / digestion issues? - those can cause bad breath too
Thanks all these sound good,how doni get her to do them ?
I think you have to be honest and tell her the problem straight out and then suggest those as remedies
Yeah, I think working with her is a better approach than an ultimatum
If she's 'hung up' on her teeth, it's likely that she is very self conscious of it
Help her with it, maybe look at a cosmetic dentist and build her general dental hygiene into those visits
Help her be happy about her mouth again
I would happily pay for dental cosmetics as she said she said in the past she would want false teeth but how do I even say that without it sounding that IM not happy with her teeth "
I don't think you can, but you can make it sound like you are doing it for both of you as opposed to just her
Seeing her happier in herself with the results will make you happier by proxy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A difficult one! Maybe ask her if your breath smells ? Make out your worried might make her check hers? X"
I tell ya summat, wearing these face masks have made me realise just how sharp your breath can get
Brush my teeth in a morning, have a couple of brews at work, pop a mask on to nip to the loo... and it's straight on the Smints when I get back to my desk  |
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"Also OP, does she drink alcohol on your meets?
Certain alcohols like ciders and wines can give people awful breath
If she is smoking and drinking prior to or during your meets, that won't be helping matters
I notice it quite a bit on people cos I don't (very rarely) drink"
Yes she drinks red wine and fruity ciders as well as her fags |
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"A difficult one! Maybe ask her if your breath smells ? Make out your worried might make her check hers? X
I tell ya summat, wearing these face masks have made me realise just how sharp your breath can get
Brush my teeth in a morning, have a couple of brews at work, pop a mask on to nip to the loo... and it's straight on the Smints when I get back to my desk "
Thats a good point,
I have tried saying does my breath smell lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Also OP, does she drink alcohol on your meets?
Certain alcohols like ciders and wines can give people awful breath
If she is smoking and drinking prior to or during your meets, that won't be helping matters
I notice it quite a bit on people cos I don't (very rarely) drink
Yes she drinks red wine and fruity ciders as well as her fags"
They won't help
Invest in some polos - pop a couple yourself and offer them to her as well as the evening goes on |
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"A difficult one! Maybe ask her if your breath smells ? Make out your worried might make her check hers? X
I tell ya summat, wearing these face masks have made me realise just how sharp your breath can get
Brush my teeth in a morning, have a couple of brews at work, pop a mask on to nip to the loo... and it's straight on the Smints when I get back to my desk "
They do I wear mine 5 or 7 hrs at work depending on shift and can taste my breath when I take it of plus I have dirty lips look like I been rimming all morning! Lol x  |
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"When i first got with her i had a family health plan at my dentist so I suggested she got one,
She went for her first check up and scale n polish and the hygienist hurt her when she was cleaning and now she wont go"
It could be a psychological thing?
It's a tricky one but you would have to say something
Good luck.
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By *aulj69Man
over a year ago
dunstable |
Hi all, if she has a smell about her is it definately her bad oral hygiene, I have some medical experience, this could be diabetes? Smell is a tell tale sign also why so many diabetes cases have recently gone unchecked because of the lack of face to face GP appts. Hope this helps. Paul X |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
Not read all the replies. So this may be an echo of what somebody else has said.
Bad breath is not always hygiene related. Though only one brush a day mixed with smoking will certainly add to it regardless.
It could mostly be a digestive system issue, or another health issue. Diet certainly will play its part. |
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"Also OP, does she drink alcohol on your meets?
Certain alcohols like ciders and wines can give people awful breath
If she is smoking and drinking prior to or during your meets, that won't be helping matters
I notice it quite a bit on people cos I don't (very rarely) drink
Yes she drinks red wine and fruity ciders as well as her fags
They won't help
Invest in some polos - pop a couple yourself and offer them to her as well as the evening goes on"
Thank you for the ideas |
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"Not read all the replies. So this may be an echo of what somebody else has said.
Bad breath is not always hygiene related. Though only one brush a day mixed with smoking will certainly add to it regardless.
It could mostly be a digestive system issue, or another health issue. Diet certainly will play its part. "
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"Not read all the replies. So this may be an echo of what somebody else has said.
Bad breath is not always hygiene related. Though only one brush a day mixed with smoking will certainly add to it regardless.
It could mostly be a digestive system issue, or another health issue. Diet certainly will play its part. "
Thank you,your imput is greatly appreciated |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A difficult one! Maybe ask her if your breath smells ? Make out your worried might make her check hers? X
I tell ya summat, wearing these face masks have made me realise just how sharp your breath can get
Brush my teeth in a morning, have a couple of brews at work, pop a mask on to nip to the loo... and it's straight on the Smints when I get back to my desk
They do I wear mine 5 or 7 hrs at work depending on shift and can taste my breath when I take it of plus I have dirty lips look like I been rimming all morning! Lol x "
You got my attention at rimming all morning lol.
On a serious note OP I think you're going to have to be honest with her. If hints haven't worked then the only thing to do is be honest in a sensitive manner |
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"Hi all, if she has a smell about her is it definately her bad oral hygiene, I have some medical experience, this could be diabetes? Smell is a tell tale sign also why so many diabetes cases have recently gone unchecked because of the lack of face to face GP appts. Hope this helps. Paul X"
Thank you paul
Much appreciated |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
Have not read the entire thread, so maybe somebody has already mentioned that underlying health conditions could be the cause. Also certain health conditions requiring what is called a Calcium CHannel Blocker can have an "inflammatory" kind of side effect which in turn can cause pockets in the gums near the teeth and it is there where plaque builds up, inflammation increases and this in turn can cause really bad breath,
There is another aspect to this as well. Bad oral hygiene can cause heart problems in the long run and this, if nothing else, would be the reason I would mention it to her.
Telling a friend/ partner an uncomfortable truth in a calm, non-judgmental way is a sign of friendship, I see it as a sign of care as much as anything. You are not rejecting the person as a whole, you are only suggesting something that could have a huge impact if left ignored.
I have done this in the past and the person was not offended but grateful.
Good luck, OP
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"Have not read the entire thread, so maybe somebody has already mentioned that underlying health conditions could be the cause. Also certain health conditions requiring what is called a Calcium CHannel Blocker can have an "inflammatory" kind of side effect which in turn can cause pockets in the gums near the teeth and it is there where plaque builds up, inflammation increases and this in turn can cause really bad breath,
There is another aspect to this as well. Bad oral hygiene can cause heart problems in the long run and this, if nothing else, would be the reason I would mention it to her.
Telling a friend/ partner an uncomfortable truth in a calm, non-judgmental way is a sign of friendship, I see it as a sign of care as much as anything. You are not rejecting the person as a whole, you are only suggesting something that could have a huge impact if left ignored.
I have done this in the past and the person was not offended but grateful.
Good luck, OP
"
Thank you for taking the time to reply,I will take all that on board |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have not read the entire thread, so maybe somebody has already mentioned that underlying health conditions could be the cause. Also certain health conditions requiring what is called a Calcium CHannel Blocker can have an "inflammatory" kind of side effect which in turn can cause pockets in the gums near the teeth and it is there where plaque builds up, inflammation increases and this in turn can cause really bad breath,
There is another aspect to this as well. Bad oral hygiene can cause heart problems in the long run and this, if nothing else, would be the reason I would mention it to her.
Telling a friend/ partner an uncomfortable truth in a calm, non-judgmental way is a sign of friendship, I see it as a sign of care as much as anything. You are not rejecting the person as a whole, you are only suggesting something that could have a huge impact if left ignored.
I have done this in the past and the person was not offended but grateful.
Good luck, OP
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My 2 cents is this. For me personally I've stopped seeing women with bad personal hygiene, that is the number 1 turnoff for me. Bad breath, especially cigarette breath is the worst tbh. Also you have to wonder if she takes poor care of her teeth what about taking a shower.
I've stopped seeing a woman because when I kissed her I felt like I was kissing a cigarette. We're still friends
I stopped seeing a lady because when she showed up for our date she smelt bad, bad body odour. Never saw her again after but we're still friends on fb.
I stopped seeing another lady because she told me she hadn't showered in a week. Again still friends with her but I shut down any thoughts of us hooking up again.
I just can't get around personal hygiene tbh, not everyone is perfect at it and on some level we can all improve our personal hygiene but when you meet someone and you get a sense, or you kiss someone and you get a bad taste. I'm sorry that's a deal breaking for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wish I hadn’t bothered,
Do men think they score points with other users of this site by trying to look superior "
you asked you got answers nothing superior about it if you don’t want answers don’t ask |
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"Wish I hadn’t bothered,
Do men think they score points with other users of this site by trying to look superior you asked you got answers nothing superior about it if you don’t want answers don’t ask"
I got answers and advice on things I didn’t ask about,if i wanted advice on my morals I would of asked,if someone said do you hate galaxy chocolate why would you reply with tom cruise is a twat?(he’s probably not by the way)
thats what i meant |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just be direct and to the point. No point skirting about imo if you have exhausted subtlety .
She will either get embarrassed and correct herself or she’ll just laugh or get upset. Either way it will make her look at the issue .
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"Tooth brushing at least twice a day
A good mouthwash - not necessarily a branded one
Tongue scrape
Floss
Interdental brushes
3 monthly check ups with scale & polish
Carry no sugar peppermints
Cut down on things like caffeine
Eat crunchy fruits and things like parsley
Green tea can also help
Does she suffer from acid reflux / digestion issues? - those can cause bad breath too
Thanks all these sound good,how doni get her to do them ?
I think you have to be honest and tell her the problem straight out and then suggest those as remedies
Yeah, I think working with her is a better approach than an ultimatum
If she's 'hung up' on her teeth, it's likely that she is very self conscious of it
Help her with it, maybe look at a cosmetic dentist and build her general dental hygiene into those visits
Help her be happy about her mouth again
I would happily pay for dental cosmetics as she said she said in the past she would want false teeth but how do I even say that without it sounding that IM not happy with her teeth "
Well you’ve told us she unhappy with her teeth.
There’s so much can be done cosmetically these days.
“You know you’ve mentioned being unhappy with your teeth, well my Auntie Doreen had the same thing, she saw this great clinic last month and she’s over the moon with the results” etc etc |
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