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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To the one doing the "ghosting" it's not always ghosting in their eyes, it's often more like "omg this person needs to back off but they're not listening to what I'm telling them"  |
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"To the one doing the "ghosting" it's not always ghosting in their eyes, it's often more like "omg this person needs to back off but they're not listening to what I'm telling them" "
I'd understand that, if its a last resort because the other person no longer listens etc
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I've had it done to me.
I've never done it to others who I've actually met or spoken to for a significant amount of time. I have cut all contact with people though who have repeatedly not taken no for an answer or pushed boundaries on certain things but I don't class that as ghosting.
I think people do it because they're cowardly or selfish and don't want to deal with the response if they're honest with people. Especially when they've been dishonest all along. |
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"I've had it done to me.
I've never done it to others who I've actually met or spoken to for a significant amount of time. I have cut all contact with people though who have repeatedly not taken no for an answer or pushed boundaries on certain things but I don't class that as ghosting.
I think people do it because they're cowardly or selfish and don't want to deal with the response if they're honest with people. Especially when they've been dishonest all along. "
I think you're right, people don't want to deal with the fallout from being honest.
For me, the ghosting was from a friend and I still have absolutely no idea why, thats the bit that bugs me most as honesty is Important and even if the truth hurts at least you know..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To the one doing the "ghosting" it's not always ghosting in their eyes, it's often more like "omg this person needs to back off but they're not listening to what I'm telling them" "
This. With bells on.
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I've had it done to me and I prefer the natural fade when the conversation stalls and dries up, although when I used to not check and bulk delete and miss some people's messages it could of been construed as ghosting albeit unintentionally |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To the one doing the "ghosting" it's not always ghosting in their eyes, it's often more like "omg this person needs to back off but they're not listening to what I'm telling them"
This. With bells on.
"
I dont think that would be ghosting. I think it would have been fair warning, their fault if they hadn't listened type of thing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have stopped conversations intentionally or otherwise but I have never arranged to meet and never been heard off again or met someone regulary and then vanished off the face of the earth no. |
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"Is it ghosting if the conversation just fizzles out? If they message you and you literally can’t think of a single thing to say in reply? If it is then I guess I’ve ghosted people."
If the conversation fizzles out then I don't think its ghosting, I think its more when you have developed a friendship or relationship with someone and then without warning or explanation they literally disappear of the face of the earth!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's happened to me three times.
The first time we were in a semi-long distance relationship; we talked every day and met up when we could. One day - after close to a year of dating - he called me, we had a nice chat, he ended by saying 'I love you' and never heard from him again.
I had it happen with someone I had a FWB type arrangement with. We connected online, met up around 7 or 8 times over the course of about 4 months, we seemed to really get on, we had a good laugh and great sex. Then we had arranged to meet up again and when I went to send him a message, I discovered he had just blocked me.
The worst one, which I have mentioned before, was someone I was with for almost three years. We were engaged and planning our wedding and it was like... one day we were discussing what month we wanted to get married, and the next he was just gone. Absolutely broke me and now I can't trust anyone.  |
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"It's happened to me three times.
The first time we were in a semi-long distance relationship; we talked every day and met up when we could. One day - after close to a year of dating - he called me, we had a nice chat, he ended by saying 'I love you' and never heard from him again.
I had it happen with someone I had a FWB type arrangement with. We connected online, met up around 7 or 8 times over the course of about 4 months, we seemed to really get on, we had a good laugh and great sex. Then we had arranged to meet up again and when I went to send him a message, I discovered he had just blocked me.
The worst one, which I have mentioned before, was someone I was with for almost three years. We were engaged and planning our wedding and it was like... one day we were discussing what month we wanted to get married, and the next he was just gone. Absolutely broke me and now I can't trust anyone. "
So sorry to hear that you have been though it 3 times!
I don't think people realise the damage they do when they just disappear.
You are just left in limbo wondering and its horrible!xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had it done to me.
I've never done it to others who I've actually met or spoken to for a significant amount of time. I have cut all contact with people though who have repeatedly not taken no for an answer or pushed boundaries on certain things but I don't class that as ghosting.
It happens all the time. Perhaps they had second thoughts or you had a social and they found there was no connection. There are many different reasons. Onwards and upwards. If they come back you may have the chance to ask them.
I think people do it because they're cowardly or selfish and don't want to deal with the response if they're honest with people. Especially when they've been dishonest all along.
I think you're right, people don't want to deal with the fallout from being honest.
For me, the ghosting was from a friend and I still have absolutely no idea why, thats the bit that bugs me most as honesty is Important and even if the truth hurts at least you know....."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had it done to me.
I've never done it to others who I've actually met or spoken to for a significant amount of time. I have cut all contact with people though who have repeatedly not taken no for an answer or pushed boundaries on certain things but I don't class that as ghosting.
I think people do it because they're cowardly or selfish and don't want to deal with the response if they're honest with people. Especially when they've been dishonest all along.
I think you're right, people don't want to deal with the fallout from being honest.
For me, the ghosting was from a friend and I still have absolutely no idea why, thats the bit that bugs me most as honesty is Important and even if the truth hurts at least you know....."
It happens all the time. Perhaps they had second thoughts or you had a social and they found there was no connection. There are many different reasons. Onwards and upwards. If they come back you may have the chance to ask them. |
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"I've had it done to me.
I've never done it to others who I've actually met or spoken to for a significant amount of time. I have cut all contact with people though who have repeatedly not taken no for an answer or pushed boundaries on certain things but I don't class that as ghosting.
I think people do it because they're cowardly or selfish and don't want to deal with the response if they're honest with people. Especially when they've been dishonest all along.
I think you're right, people don't want to deal with the fallout from being honest.
For me, the ghosting was from a friend and I still have absolutely no idea why, thats the bit that bugs me most as honesty is Important and even if the truth hurts at least you know.....
It happens all the time. Perhaps they had second thoughts or you had a social and they found there was no connection. There are many different reasons. Onwards and upwards. If they come back you may have the chance to ask them. "
Mine wasn't anyone I've met on fab but someone I considered a really close friend for the last 5 years!  |
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Ghosting is pretty fucking cowardly. Unless the person they are ghosting is a clingy nutter.
No one on these threads is honest really. I can't envisiage anyone saying ........ so he called me and said he didn't want to meet anymore and that he'd met someone else with a nice house and a posh car who does spitroasting shows ....... and I said......
Oh okay then ... cheerio, have fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ghosting is pretty fucking cowardly. Unless the person they are ghosting is a clingy nutter.
No one on these threads is honest really. I can't envisiage anyone saying ........ so he called me and said he didn't want to meet anymore and that he'd met someone else with a nice house and a posh car who does spitroasting shows ....... and I said......
Oh okay then ... cheerio, have fun. "
But darling, we did that.  |
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"Ghosting is pretty fucking cowardly. Unless the person they are ghosting is a clingy nutter.
No one on these threads is honest really. I can't envisiage anyone saying ........ so he called me and said he didn't want to meet anymore and that he'd met someone else with a nice house and a posh car who does spitroasting shows ....... and I said......
Oh okay then ... cheerio, have fun. "
But it would be easier if they did
It takes quite a bit to offend me so I'd much prefer honesty no matter how shitty it sounds!!
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"Ghosting is pretty fucking cowardly. Unless the person they are ghosting is a clingy nutter.
No one on these threads is honest really. I can't envisiage anyone saying ........ so he called me and said he didn't want to meet anymore and that he'd met someone else with a nice house and a posh car who does spitroasting shows ....... and I said......
Oh okay then ... cheerio, have fun.
But it would be easier if they did
It takes quite a bit to offend me so I'd much prefer honesty no matter how shitty it sounds!!
"
Being honest and direct is simple respect. Stops the ghosted wracking their brains and making up their own stories.
Only advice I can give is give the thoughts FIVE minutes....... then move on ...... that person is nothing in your life. |
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"Ghosting is pretty fucking cowardly. Unless the person they are ghosting is a clingy nutter.
No one on these threads is honest really. I can't envisiage anyone saying ........ so he called me and said he didn't want to meet anymore and that he'd met someone else with a nice house and a posh car who does spitroasting shows ....... and I said......
Oh okay then ... cheerio, have fun.
But it would be easier if they did
It takes quite a bit to offend me so I'd much prefer honesty no matter how shitty it sounds!!
Being honest and direct is simple respect. Stops the ghosted wracking their brains and making up their own stories.
Only advice I can give is give the thoughts FIVE minutes....... then move on ...... that person is nothing in your life. "
Exactly right, its hard but true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve had it done to me. I think it’s a spineless act, however I fear it’s viewed as normal acceptable behaviour, nowadays, as generations change.
It’s become the norm, because many people, prefer to communicate via text or messaging, rather than face to face. |
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Very much part and parcel of internet dating and here of fab.
Send messages strike some chemistry exchange numbers and carry on messaging have a few phone calls decide to arrange a meet / social then like Houdini *poof* they suddenly stop respoinding to messages etc...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This never happened to me back in my home country but it has happened countless times across. It used to bother me a little because I'm always respectful to women etc.
But as I understand dating more in the UK and British women on a more psychological and emotional basis it doesn't bother me anymore tbh.
It was like understanding why so many British women smoke (which is something I didn't see often back in my country) so a British woman smoking doesn't bother me anymore and I honestly understanding why they smoke (also do drugs etc) xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have ghosted a couple of real life friends this year. Not literally cut off all contact, I reply if they text but only short replies. They haven't asked me why so I haven't told them. It's irrelevant. I can't trust them anymore so they aren't my friends. |
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