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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Had a race with my son yesterday...full on sprint...when my dog got excited and tried to run beside us. She tripped me up and I went arse over tit and hit the ground like a sack of shit! Sprained ankle, bashed hip and skint knees and elbows!
Can you all say, awwww and cheer me up in some form please? |
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"Nope. But I will say this..
Wankaaaaaaaaaaaaa 
Who fell over? Who fell over?
 
Is that you in Florence nightingale mode?  "
I'm trying to lift my spirits. I've been in an utter cunt of a mood today. Nearly hit the delete button and everything.
So, I shall laugh at the misfortune of another instead.
I can laugh. You know why? Coz I too have flown over a pooch that couldn't run in a fucking straight line |
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"Nope. But I will say this..
Wankaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Who fell over? Who fell over?
Is that you in Florence nightingale mode?
I'm trying to lift my spirits. I've been in an utter cunt of a mood today. Nearly hit the delete button and everything.
So, I shall laugh at the misfortune of another instead.
I can laugh. You know why? Coz I too have flown over a pooch that couldn't run in a fucking straight line "
Oh, that’s awful! I do hope you and your dog weren’t poorly injured after your tumble.... |
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"Nope. But I will say this..
Wankaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Who fell over? Who fell over?
Is that you in Florence nightingale mode?
I'm trying to lift my spirits. I've been in an utter cunt of a mood today. Nearly hit the delete button and everything.
So, I shall laugh at the misfortune of another instead.
I can laugh. You know why? Coz I too have flown over a pooch that couldn't run in a fucking straight line "
blame it on the full moon |
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"Nope. But I will say this..
Wankaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Who fell over? Who fell over?
Hahaha this takes me back to my childhood "
Yeah, I think I need to unleash my silly before I unleash something not too pretty |
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"Nope. But I will say this..
Wankaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Who fell over? Who fell over?
Is that you in Florence nightingale mode?
I'm trying to lift my spirits. I've been in an utter cunt of a mood today. Nearly hit the delete button and everything.
So, I shall laugh at the misfortune of another instead.
I can laugh. You know why? Coz I too have flown over a pooch that couldn't run in a fucking straight line
Oh, that’s awful! I do hope you and your dog weren’t poorly injured after your tumble...."
I couldn't style it out, was way too fast and too far gone to have any chance of making it look cool.
My pride was hurt more than my body. |
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"Nope. But I will say this..
Wankaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Who fell over? Who fell over?
Is that you in Florence nightingale mode?
I'm trying to lift my spirits. I've been in an utter cunt of a mood today. Nearly hit the delete button and everything.
So, I shall laugh at the misfortune of another instead.
I can laugh. You know why? Coz I too have flown over a pooch that couldn't run in a fucking straight line
Oh, that’s awful! I do hope you and your dog weren’t poorly injured after your tumble....
I couldn't style it out, was way too fast and too far gone to have any chance of making it look cool.
My pride was hurt more than my body."
But now I’m thinking of you wearing a short leather skirt that rode up with you covered in mud. |
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"Nope. But I will say this..
Wankaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Who fell over? Who fell over?
Is that you in Florence nightingale mode?
I'm trying to lift my spirits. I've been in an utter cunt of a mood today. Nearly hit the delete button and everything.
So, I shall laugh at the misfortune of another instead.
I can laugh. You know why? Coz I too have flown over a pooch that couldn't run in a fucking straight line
Oh, that’s awful! I do hope you and your dog weren’t poorly injured after your tumble....
I couldn't style it out, was way too fast and too far gone to have any chance of making it look cool.
My pride was hurt more than my body.
But now I’m thinking of you wearing a short leather skirt that rode up with you covered in mud. "
Keep that image Steve.
Dunno about you but I always run in a short leather skirt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"a) is the dog ok and
b) who won the race? Assuming you got back up and finished instead of just giving up?
Dragging his body over the line like the Jamaican bob-sled team in cool runnings "
Lol  |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Elastic therapeutic tape. Check Wiki for some more pictures
It does wonders for muscle sprains, better than bandages or velcro wraps.
Dirt cheap too.
Water and wash proof too. Stays on for days. You just need a steady hand and really good scissors. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
The dog was fine,
My son won the race because I lay in a crumpled heap wondering if I had broken anything.
No video/photographic evidence for anyones amusement.
I'm still really sore.
I've had zero sympathy
Oh and I'm more hurt at the fact I've realised I'm too old and too big to be falling at speed! |
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"The dog was fine,
My son won the race because I lay in a crumpled heap wondering if I had broken anything.
No video/photographic evidence for anyones amusement.
I'm still really sore.
I've had zero sympathy
Oh and I'm more hurt at the fact I've realised I'm too old and too big to be falling at speed!"
Thought you'd gone to A&E for a while there.
It really fucking hurts doesn't it!
It wasn't too long ago I had been away for the night on a kinky adventure. Opened my case for something and fell asleep on the sofa.
I remember waking up to the sound of the front door opening. Knew it was my lad (he was 16/17) and immediately leapt up to close the case lid.
As I jumped forward my foot went in my shoe sideways, my toes all bent back in the shoe and I stacked it in spectacular style onto the case.
Thought I'd broken all my cunting toes and the kid just laughed while I did the laughy/cry thing |
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"The dog was fine,
My son won the race because I lay in a crumpled heap wondering if I had broken anything.
No video/photographic evidence for anyones amusement.
I'm still really sore.
I've had zero sympathy
Oh and I'm more hurt at the fact I've realised I'm too old and too big to be falling at speed!
Thought you'd gone to A&E for a while there.
It really fucking hurts doesn't it!
It wasn't too long ago I had been away for the night on a kinky adventure. Opened my case for something and fell asleep on the sofa.
I remember waking up to the sound of the front door opening. Knew it was my lad (he was 16/17) and immediately leapt up to close the case lid.
As I jumped forward my foot went in my shoe sideways, my toes all bent back in the shoe and I stacked it in spectacular style onto the case.
Thought I'd broken all my cunting toes and the kid just laughed while I did the laughy/cry thing "
now that's funny ...sorry...not ...but yeah ..sorry  |
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"The dog was fine,
My son won the race because I lay in a crumpled heap wondering if I had broken anything.
No video/photographic evidence for anyones amusement.
I'm still really sore.
I've had zero sympathy
Oh and I'm more hurt at the fact I've realised I'm too old and too big to be falling at speed!
Thought you'd gone to A&E for a while there.
It really fucking hurts doesn't it!
It wasn't too long ago I had been away for the night on a kinky adventure. Opened my case for something and fell asleep on the sofa.
I remember waking up to the sound of the front door opening. Knew it was my lad (he was 16/17) and immediately leapt up to close the case lid.
As I jumped forward my foot went in my shoe sideways, my toes all bent back in the shoe and I stacked it in spectacular style onto the case.
Thought I'd broken all my cunting toes and the kid just laughed while I did the laughy/cry thing now that's funny ...sorry...not ...but yeah ..sorry "
Wish I got it on video.
There was that other time a few months back when I was trying to put the bracket up for the curtain pole when I slipped off the back of the sofa and was horizontal in the air before falling flat down.
Doesn't matter how many times I try it, I haven't learned to bounce. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Want some tigerbalm rubbed in
Also love how your son just carried on  "
He did stop to check I was ok....when he realised I was still breathing, he took off incase I got up....as did my dog!  |
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"The dog was fine,
My son won the race because I lay in a crumpled heap wondering if I had broken anything.
No video/photographic evidence for anyones amusement.
I'm still really sore.
I've had zero sympathy
Oh and I'm more hurt at the fact I've realised I'm too old and too big to be falling at speed!
Thought you'd gone to A&E for a while there.
It really fucking hurts doesn't it!
It wasn't too long ago I had been away for the night on a kinky adventure. Opened my case for something and fell asleep on the sofa.
I remember waking up to the sound of the front door opening. Knew it was my lad (he was 16/17) and immediately leapt up to close the case lid.
As I jumped forward my foot went in my shoe sideways, my toes all bent back in the shoe and I stacked it in spectacular style onto the case.
Thought I'd broken all my cunting toes and the kid just laughed while I did the laughy/cry thing now that's funny ...sorry...not ...but yeah ..sorry
Wish I got it on video.
There was that other time a few months back when I was trying to put the bracket up for the curtain pole when I slipped off the back of the sofa and was horizontal in the air before falling flat down.
Doesn't matter how many times I try it, I haven't learned to bounce."
Aww ..be careful with yourself your the only one you're going to get |
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By *edrickWoman
over a year ago
nottingham |
I feel your pain, weve all been there as parents!
I had a spectacular fall whilst trying to be a cool mum roller skating. I ended up in a body brace for 7 months so at least you got up and walked away mostly unharmed.
Hot bath with Epsom salts will work wonders! X |
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"Want some tigerbalm rubbed in
Also love how your son just carried on
He did stop to check I was ok....when he realised I was still breathing, he took off incase I got up....as did my dog! "
We've all been caught out by tricksters who pretend to be injured, see our caring nature as a weakness and then peown, they're gone as we're doing the "omg, are you OK?" thing.
The kid did good |
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Mr Bants - get a wheelchair for racing and choose a downhill section of land on which to race. You can sit on your arse the whole way down, there's absolutely no way any child on foot will catch up with you and if you fall out, you'll get absolutely shit loads of sympathy. It's a triple win. You're welcome, about the only sensible comment on this whole affair |
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