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Am I allowed to tell a British joke?
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Andy Murray came into my tennis club the other day. I said to him "Alright Andy, how do you fancy doubling up?" He said "Yes, why not!" So I kicked the miserable curly haired British cunt right in the bollocks!;) |
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My missus from norfolk packed my bags and screamed at me as I walked out of the front door... "I wish u a slow and painful death u bastard!" she yelled...
"Oh, so u want me to stay now!" I replied...! |
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"My missus from norfolk packed my bags and screamed at me as I walked out of the front door... "I wish u a slow and painful death u bastard!" she yelled...
"Oh, so u want me to stay now!" I replied...!"
talking of norfolk.
they must be loving all this wet weather.
a chance to put their webbed fingers and toes to good use........
never noticed that tunble before.. lol |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man. One guy said he was going to piss him off. He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a sissy."
"Oh really, hmm, didn't know that."
Puzzled the English man walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a sissy and he didn't care!"
"You just don't know how to set him off, watch and learn." The second English man walked over and tapped the Irish man on the shoulder.
"I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite!"
"Oh, wow, I didn't know that, thank you."
Shocked beyond belief, the English man went back to his mates. "You're right, he is unshakable!"
The third English man said, "No, no, no, I'll really piss him off, you just watch."
He walked over to the Irish man, tapped him on the shoulder and aid, "I hear your St. Patrick was an English man!"
"Yeah, that's what your pals were trying to tell me…………..”
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2 WPC Dog handlerswere on the beat.
One says "I'm cold, I left my knickers at the station" The other says "Let the dog have a sniff of you fanny and he'll fetch them"
The dog returned 20 minutes later with her knickers, a truncheon, 2 broom handles and 3 of the desk sergeants fingers. |
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I went out nightclubbing with some friends from overseas. There was me, an Irishman, a Scottsman, an Englishman, a Greek, an Italian, a German, a Hungarian, a Serbian, a Chinese and a Jap.
We arrived at the door and the bouncer said, "I can't let you in without a Thai." |
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THE CHAVS PRAYER... Our Father who is in prison, even Mum knows not his name. Thy Chavdom come, you'll read The Sun, in Plymouth which is in Devon. Give us this day our Welfare bread and forgive us our ASBOs, as we happy slap those that got ASBOs against us. Lead us not into employment but deliver us free housing. For thine is the Chavdom, the Burberry and Barcardi. Forever and ever.... Innit.  |
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Only kidding Pabs
