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So my first Pearl of wisdom is this...
When a woman is really angry, like bat shit wants to kick you right in the ball sac angry. Remind her she is overreacting she will instantly realise that you’re correct and instantly calm down.
Feel free to add your own men, women and trans people of fab! Some of us need all the help we can get. |
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When a man tries to tell you you're overreacting about something, don't speak, just shuffle off like the good little wifey you are, utter the words "I'm gonna sort the laundry"
Little does he know, the laundry you're sorting is his, and placing it in the bin bags it belongs. Just before tying the handles, make sure to crimp a turd in it.
You can show him you're big strong muscles too, by carrying it out to the pavement for him |
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"When a man tries to tell you you're overreacting about something, don't speak, just shuffle off like the good little wifey you are, utter the words "I'm gonna sort the laundry"
Little does he know, the laundry you're sorting is his, and placing it in the bin bags it belongs. Just before tying the handles, make sure to crimp a turd in it.
You can show him you're big strong muscles too, by carrying it out to the pavement for him "
Awesome ! Well played! Hopefully no offence was caused i posted purely for fun !  |
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"When a man tries to tell you you're overreacting about something, don't speak, just shuffle off like the good little wifey you are, utter the words "I'm gonna sort the laundry"
Little does he know, the laundry you're sorting is his, and placing it in the bin bags it belongs. Just before tying the handles, make sure to crimp a turd in it.
You can show him you're big strong muscles too, by carrying it out to the pavement for him
Awesome ! Well played! Hopefully no offence was caused i posted purely for fun ! "
You'd know if I was offended  |
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When something has gone wrong, and you are in the middle of a shit storm - always think of how other people feel. For example, if you realise your partner was the cause, make sure they feel involved by taking time out from fixing the issue to discuss what they did wrong, the impacts it now has and how long it will take to fix.  |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
When Princess Peach says something, she's usually right.
(She told me to say that and I'm not arguing with her  )
You might not be in a relationship with her, you might never meet her. But it's sensible to trust me when I say it's important to know it.
(She didn't really tell me to say it. But it is still true) |
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"When Princess Peach says something, she's usually right.
(She told me to say that and I'm not arguing with her )
You might not be in a relationship with her, you might never meet her. But it's sensible to trust me when I say it's important to know it.
(She didn't really tell me to say it. But it is still true)"
How high shall I jump peach ? |
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"When Princess Peach says something, she's usually right.
(She told me to say that and I'm not arguing with her )
You might not be in a relationship with her, you might never meet her. But it's sensible to trust me when I say it's important to know it.
(She didn't really tell me to say it. But it is still true)"
No money exchanged hands or even cake bribes.
My hands are clean! |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
When you are getting to know someone and think it could be going somewhere, stay in the friendship zone for a little bit. There's no rush to get into a relationship, and they may have hotter friends. |
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I'll hit you with something serious.
When faced with a decision that you know might hurt your partner think of this.
If they died before you, could you carry their coffin with pride in your heart knowing you did the right thing by them or would guilt consume you?
|
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"I don't think that I'll be any use on here, that's why I've been single for the past 8 years  
You sure? You’re well verified must know something worthy "
Yeah sure I can chat utter gibberish, but is that what most ladies on here want?  |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I'll hit you with something serious.
When faced with a decision that you know might hurt your partner think of this.
If they died before you, could you carry their coffin with pride in your heart knowing you did the right thing by them or would guilt consume you?
"
I told you she was wise *nods* |
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By *ambozaMan
over a year ago
kilburn park |
Use drugs and alcohol to avoid confrontation and meaningful communication at all times.... when the occasional lucid moment occurs when in the presence of ones partner confabulate and distract from the obvious evidence that you are profoundly unhappy.... repeat until a major crisis of a spiritual,emotional,physical or financial sends you off to the airport to take a get a bit of space. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Plus the fact that l'm a 58 year old bisexual smoker ()"
I read that as biscuit smoker.
There is a chance I may have just realised my glasses need cleaning  |
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Just because you may not understand *why* your partner feels the way they do, accept that that is how they feel. Don't be telling them what they should or shouldn't be feeling.
Try to understand, be someone they want to share with in even their darkest days, rather than making them feel ashamed of feeling certain things. |
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"I'll hit you with something serious.
When faced with a decision that you know might hurt your partner think of this.
If they died before you, could you carry their coffin with pride in your heart knowing you did the right thing by them or would guilt consume you?
"
serious comment
If your eagerness to unburden your guilt made you tell them and make their last hours misery, were you thinking of them or yourself? |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Plus the fact that l'm a 58 year old bisexual smoker ()
I read that as biscuit smoker.
There is a chance I may have just realised my glasses need cleaning
Well them bourbons are addictive!"
They are! |
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"I'll hit you with something serious.
When faced with a decision that you know might hurt your partner think of this.
If they died before you, could you carry their coffin with pride in your heart knowing you did the right thing by them or would guilt consume you?
serious comment
If your eagerness to unburden your guilt made you tell them and make their last hours misery, were you thinking of them or yourself? "
I wasn't meaning to tell them, I was meaning not to take the hurty temptation route in the first place. That way you've nothing to feel bad for |
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When she says she wants to talk, please do so only if you are going to be completely honest and accept all blame, even if you are not sure what you are charged with.
When she says she doesn't want to talk, she obviously does but only about how shit you've been to her. You can evade prosecution but will face much stricter punishment that you will readily accept.
If she's unsure about something, it's always an invitation for you to decide for her. You must give her much more than she could dream of. Then let her decide what to do. |
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If your man is watching an important sporting event its a very good time to ask him for a serious chat. He is sure to turn the TV off and give you his full attention. Likewise if he's in the pub with his mates keep texting asking when he'll be back and what he's doing. Remind him that he shouldn't be drinking too much as well. It shows him you care |
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If your partner is feeling body conscious about their weight make sure you don't draw attention to it. When they are naked always look away at something else and keep your eyes off them at all times. If asked your opinion You can look and smile at their face (don't get drawn) but make sure you obviously turn your head to avoid seeing anything else. Offer to turn the light off it gets too difficult. This is the sign of a sensitive partner. |
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If your partner is suffering from low self-esteem or depression, don't talk to them, just buy increasing numbers of self-help books and leave them around the house. Base your selections on how bright the covers are, the quality of the paper and the number of reality TV star endorsements it has. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
The best way to make someone fall in love with you? Send them a hundred odd messages a day, whether they reply or not. The dedication and effort you've put in will have them swooning at your feet in no time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's important to keep your cool, otherwise the following scenario may happen.
Mrs - If I tell you something will you promise not to kick off?
Mr - Of course darling, what is it?
Mrs - You have to promise though cos it's bad.
Mr - Sure sweetheart
Mrs - Cos if I tell you this it'll set you off cos I know what you're like.
Mr (getting annoyed now) - what is it!!??
Mrs - Do you promise though?
Mr - Just fucking tell me!!!!!
Mrs - See, that's why I can't tell you anything!
Mrs storms out of room.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Women, when you buy your 50th handbag or pair of shoes, let your partner know how much money you’ve spent from the rainy days account.
They’ll be pleased you’re making an effort to look good for them. |
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"Women, when you buy your 50th handbag or pair of shoes, let your partner know how much money you’ve spent from the rainy days account.
They’ll be pleased you’re making an effort to look good for them."
To be fair I’d accept that lol |
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When asked to give an opinion on an item of clothing, don't just rush in in panic with the first thing you think they want to hear
Take your time. Look really closely at the garment. The decision will have been made long before you see it and this is just a test.
Make sure your face expresses the whole range of possible emotions (hints for faces:guys - imagine the concentration of getting your dick in at an awkward angle or starting a heavy dump, women - retrieving a lost tampon should cover most situations).
Once the face is set, forget the overall garment - look closely again. A sensitive partner will look for the detail. Strained seams and buttons? flesh overhang? colour highlighting skin flare up? these show you are really paying attention.
Finally, consider your surroundings - outside a changing room with an audience? Show your sensitivity by loudly and continuously repeating all the points we picked up, judiciously throwing in some faces and long pauses. Bring the audience in to offer or confirm your opinion. Make your SO really feel the attention!
Your path to a sensitive partner has truly begun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So my first Pearl of wisdom is this...
When a woman is really angry, like bat shit wants to kick you right in the ball sac angry. Remind her she is overreacting she will instantly realise that you’re correct and instantly calm down.
Feel free to add your own men, women and trans people of fab! Some of us need all the help we can get. "
I hope you wear a cricket box in your boxers OP with this kind of advice. Or maybe you have a kink for CBT! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't forget ladies that the man is always right and you are always wrong. 
And if you fight, argue, throw things and scream at each other it just means your relationship is full of passion!!  |
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"So my first Pearl of wisdom is this...
When a woman is really angry, like bat shit wants to kick you right in the ball sac angry. Remind her she is overreacting she will instantly realise that you’re correct and instantly calm down.
Feel free to add your own men, women and trans people of fab! Some of us need all the help we can get.
I hope you wear a cricket box in your boxers OP with this kind of advice. Or maybe you have a kink for CBT! "
Undecided let’s find out. If it’s not for me I’m sure we can find something else to try  |
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"Men - It's always best to leave your Xmas shopping till the last possible minute. You are guaranteed to get the best offers, if there's anything left "
A friend of mine works on a perfume counter in a big city. At 4pm on Christmas eve men will part with ludicrous amounts of money |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"When Princess Peach says something, she's usually right.
(She told me to say that and I'm not arguing with her )
You might not be in a relationship with her, you might never meet her. But it's sensible to trust me when I say it's important to know it.
(She didn't really tell me to say it. But it is still true)
How high shall I jump peach ? "
Trust me..with Peach you won't need to jump that high at all..in fact a skip would probably be enough to clear her head |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
Real men make your knickers wet not your eyes.
Always apologise for the nasty, sarcastic, hurtful, accurate things you've said
Don't have relationship problems with somebody you're not in a relationship with. |
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"So my first Pearl of wisdom is this...
When a woman is really angry, like bat shit wants to kick you right in the ball sac angry. Remind her she is overreacting she will instantly realise that you’re correct and instantly calm down.
Feel free to add your own men, women and trans people of fab! Some of us need all the help we can get. "
Thanks for the tip  |
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When your wife is driving constantly point out where she can improve and what you think she's doing wrong. When she's reversing into a space suck your breath in at every opportunity as a useful warning, shout "left hand down a bit" and tell her you could have got a tank in there in one go. Women appreciate the opportunity to improve and she will be so grateful that she'll allow you to drive everywhere in future. |
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By *igmaMan
over a year ago
Yorkshire |
"When your wife is driving constantly point out where she can improve and what you think she's doing wrong. When she's reversing into a space suck your breath in at every opportunity as a useful warning, shout "left hand down a bit" and tell her you could have got a tank in there in one go. Women appreciate the opportunity to improve and she will be so grateful that she'll allow you to drive everywhere in future. "
Before the age of Sat Nav - women were also exceptional map readers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Men, when going for a night out and your Mrs tells you to "please enjoy yourself for once", don't go too overboard or you'll be told to "calm down ya tossa you're embarrassing me" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Men, when walking home after a night out and it's cold, the main purpose of your coat is to keep your Mrs warm whilst you freeze to death, even though you had the brains to bring one with you. |
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By *hatty GuyMan
over a year ago
The Borough of St Peter |
When your wife gets to the front door and says, "shit I forgot to get my car keys" what she means is "run and get my car keys" regardless of whether you've just made her breakfast and packed lunch and held her coat up for her to put it on and asked if she needs help with her bags and are standing at the front door holding it open for her already, and you'd actually have to walk PAST her to get to the car keys that are in the room behind her..
Consequently, if you didn't immediately hear the hidden instruction because the cat had just run upstairs where he's not allowed to go and you're trying to get him to come down with words and hissed threats, she's perfectly entitled to announce to whoever can hear, "he didn't even take my hint!" storm back to get her own keys then drive off in a huff without even looking back as if you've just shit on her porridge |
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"When your wife gets to the front door and says, "shit I forgot to get my car keys" what she means is "run and get my car keys" regardless of whether you've just made her breakfast and packed lunch and held her coat up for her to put it on and asked if she needs help with her bags and are standing at the front door holding it open for her already, and you'd actually have to walk PAST her to get to the car keys that are in the room behind her..
Consequently, if you didn't immediately hear the hidden instruction because the cat had just run upstairs where he's not allowed to go and you're trying to get him to come down with words and hissed threats, she's perfectly entitled to announce to whoever can hear, "he didn't even take my hint!" storm back to get her own keys then drive off in a huff without even looking back as if you've just shit on her porridge "
Rough morning was it ! Eek |
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By *hatty GuyMan
over a year ago
The Borough of St Peter |
"When your wife gets to the front door and says, "shit I forgot to get my car keys" what she means is "run and get my car keys" regardless of whether you've just made her breakfast and packed lunch and held her coat up for her to put it on and asked if she needs help with her bags and are standing at the front door holding it open for her already, and you'd actually have to walk PAST her to get to the car keys that are in the room behind her..
Consequently, if you didn't immediately hear the hidden instruction because the cat had just run upstairs where he's not allowed to go and you're trying to get him to come down with words and hissed threats, she's perfectly entitled to announce to whoever can hear, "he didn't even take my hint!" storm back to get her own keys then drive off in a huff without even looking back as if you've just shit on her porridge
Rough morning was it ! Eek "
Oh yeh, I'm not bitter about it  |
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