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Am I really wrong to say it?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Got told a boy been sending notes sayin a girl is gay in eldest class (she 9) I just happened to say if she gets 1 to punch him on the nose teacher looked at me in disgust! bearin in mind last yr she didn't want to go school some days from things that happened & scarry to think wot could happen from bully abuse! Any1 else think schools gone bit soft with their that's not nice approach? Or am I wrong? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think it's right to condone violence, especially not among kids.
But also bullying isn't acceptable. There must be another way to deal with it though. |
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"Got told a boy been sending notes sayin a girl is gay in eldest class (she 9) I just happened to say if she gets 1 to punch him on the nose teacher looked at me in disgust! bearin in mind last yr she didn't want to go school some days from things that happened & scarry to think wot could happen from bully abuse! Any1 else think schools gone bit soft with their that's not nice approach? Or am I wrong?"
Are you saying she being bullied, so you want her to be able to punch the bully ?
If so, how do you think the other Parents would react, if they found out the teachers looked the other way ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is why I'm asking I didn't say it was right to teach em violence but nuffin really happened from school last time & the kid left moved away In end do we just accept it & hope it doesn't have extreme negative affects on her tried the mum to mum chat doesn't work they just get defensive! Wots left after that? try to get her to defend herself as a last resort( been physically attacked b4) where do u draw a line when Ur child is upset ? Hepfull ideas not just a bashing cos u think I'm tryin to get her to beat people up willy Milly! |
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Sorry dude your wrong on this one. Violence in any form can't be condoned let alone in children. School haven't gone soft, they realise the importance of adverse childhood experiences much like they removed the cane as the trauma from such tactics causes more long term damage than it does solve short term. You need to speak with the head. Whilst in school they are in the care of the school and and incidents should be dealt with at that level.
Also the child needs to be educated as to why its not a very nice thing to do but not in a negative way either. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Got told a boy been sending notes sayin a girl is gay in eldest class (she 9) I just happened to say if she gets 1 to punch him on the nose teacher looked at me in disgust! bearin in mind last yr she didn't want to go school some days from things that happened & scarry to think wot could happen from bully abuse! Any1 else think schools gone bit soft with their that's not nice approach? Or am I wrong?
Are you saying she being bullied, so you want her to be able to punch the bully ?
If so, how do you think the other Parents would react, if they found out the teachers looked the other way ? "
it was more just the look of disgust given do they look like that to the Billy's parents? Has been b4 to where had stomach aches etc cos didn't want to go get fed up of tellin school when muffin seems to happen worst case the 1's who keep doin them type things get to go & play instead of lessons is this right? Just think the school should not quite sugar coat how the child's behaved! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sorry dude your wrong on this one. Violence in any form can't be condoned let alone in children. School haven't gone soft, they realise the importance of adverse childhood experiences much like they removed the cane as the trauma from such tactics causes more long term damage than it does solve short term. You need to speak with the head. Whilst in school they are in the care of the school and and incidents should be dealt with at that level.
Also the child needs to be educated as to why its not a very nice thing to do but not in a negative way either."
did do last time threatened to pull my child from the school but live in village not so easy to do for a long time she been happy & out goin don't want her gettin withdrawn she's 9 the days should b full of wonder not self confidence issues |
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Plenty of self defence classes available to both boys and girls. In my day they wouldn’t let my sister join in Judo classes due to her gender. But that’s no longer an issue as they’re taught to defend themselves and it also helps build self confidence as well.
I hate to hear any child being bullied, so hope this gets sorted out for you and definitely get the Teachers involved as well  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why not just report the boy to the teacher and let them handle it?."
been done like last time just this time not directed at her yet hence the spur comment to punch on nose if did it she wouldn't anyway she's not like that too living but it's soul destroyin seein the confidence dissapear like last time! But alas no one seems to have any more idea than me for wot we've tried?
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no doubt those saying violence doesnt solve anything, have likely not been in receiving end of bullying!
i was, school did nothing about it, brother told me to crack the biggest one.
i did, the bullying stopped!
simples! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Plenty of self defence classes available to both boys and girls. In my day they wouldn’t let my sister join in Judo classes due to her gender. But that’s no longer an issue as they’re taught to defend themselves and it also helps build self confidence as well.
I hate to hear any child being bullied, so hope this gets sorted out for you and definitely get the Teachers involved as well "
enrolled in self defence for few yes just can't go now more (covid) she'd still let them hurt her & not react tho! Not tyin to set up a child fight club! My I sticks are to protect my family so say or do things sometimes maybe questionable but just understand why kids can't b told been naughty & have a no play break as a consequence how is that wrong? |
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"This is why I'm asking I didn't say it was right to teach em violence but nuffin really happened from school last time & the kid left moved away In end do we just accept it & hope it doesn't have extreme negative affects on her tried the mum to mum chat doesn't work they just get defensive! Wots left after that? try to get her to defend herself as a last resort( been physically attacked b4) where do u draw a line when Ur child is upset ? Hepfull ideas not just a bashing cos u think I'm tryin to get her to beat people up willy Milly!"
Violence achieves nothing beyond highlighting who the best or nastiest fighter is
Violence has no jurisdiction over wrong and right
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If you think that the school is failing in taking bullying seriously enough, could you not make an official Complaint to the governors or ofsted or whoever deals with it, if there are other parents that feel the same then maybe make a joint complaint. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Got told a boy been sending notes sayin a girl is gay in eldest class (she 9) I just happened to say if she gets 1 to punch him on the nose teacher looked at me in disgust! bearin in mind last yr she didn't want to go school some days from things that happened & scarry to think wot could happen from bully abuse! Any1 else think schools gone bit soft with their that's not nice approach? Or am I wrong?"
Nah, id have said drop kick him in the dick. She should feel she can defend herself, were it be, with words or a swift bit of force. Hope the boy is getting a bollocking off the school |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you think that the school is failing in taking bullying seriously enough, could you not make an official Complaint to the governors or ofsted or whoever deals with it, if there are other parents that feel the same then maybe make a joint complaint."
thank u a constructive comment yes didn't think of governors didn't think of that that's kind of comment looking for not just to bash me for being protective of my lil girls I was asking for ideas people!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"no doubt those saying violence doesnt solve anything, have likely not been in receiving end of bullying!
i was, school did nothing about it, brother told me to crack the biggest one.
i did, the bullying stopped!
simples! "
I agree, happened to me, spent years getting crap, then one day just offered the bully a fight, i came out on top and no one bothered me since. Tried all the crap of telling the school etc. Nowt happened |
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I think yes it was wrong because you don't want your kid to think violence is the answer. But you've aided the bully by confirming being gay is "bad". Personally I would have told my child that why is a girl loving a girl a bad thing? And how would the bully know who they loved? Thereby, giving your child awkward questions to ask the bully and make them look stupid |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"no doubt those saying violence doesnt solve anything, have likely not been in receiving end of bullying!
i was, school did nothing about it, brother told me to crack the biggest one.
i did, the bullying stopped!
simples! "
same happened in my day really I just wasn't bullied or a bully but it happened . Kids take their life's now cos of social media & alsorts it's a really scary thought! |
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"no doubt those saying violence doesnt solve anything, have likely not been in receiving end of bullying!
i was, school did nothing about it, brother told me to crack the biggest one.
i did, the bullying stopped!
simples! "
Actually yes I was, culminated in being pinned down on a school yard by 4 kids and another pulling my underwear dowm. To "see if cuffs and collars matched". And I still don't believe violence is the answer. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think yes it was wrong because you don't want your kid to think violence is the answer. But you've aided the bully by confirming being gay is "bad". Personally I would have told my child that why is a girl loving a girl a bad thing? And how would the bully know who they loved? Thereby, giving your child awkward questions to ask the bully and make them look stupid "
I I. Now way said it was a bad thing to my daughter is said that exact thing it doesn't matter who they want to be with that's not wrong & is the individuals choice I also said the term gay used to mean happy so could say yes I'm extremely happy as a way to deflect but it's also my lil girl & I worry
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"no doubt those saying violence doesnt solve anything, have likely not been in receiving end of bullying!
i was, school did nothing about it, brother told me to crack the biggest one.
i did, the bullying stopped!
simples!
I agree, happened to me, spent years getting crap, then one day just offered the bully a fight, i came out on top and no one bothered me since. Tried all the crap of telling the school etc. Nowt happened "
I did this
The bully was twice my size i still have the deformities
Bullying still exists, people have advised violent retaliation as a solution for thousands of years
I'd suggest there are better avenues to follow
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"Got told a boy been sending notes sayin a girl is gay in eldest class (she 9) I just happened to say if she gets 1 to punch him on the nose teacher looked at me in disgust! bearin in mind last yr she didn't want to go school some days from things that happened & scarry to think wot could happen from bully abuse! Any1 else think schools gone bit soft with their that's not nice approach? Or am I wrong?"
So you mention bully abuse but if I've understood you properly you advocate punching a 9 year old child on the nose? If the school have issues with bullying or sex education suggest you take it to the Head teacher or board of governors. If your child is scared to go to school that's something the school can only address if you start a dialogue with them and agree a remedial plan rather than hitting kids. Which will validate their opinions of bullying and make it worse.
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"I think yes it was wrong because you don't want your kid to think violence is the answer. But you've aided the bully by confirming being gay is "bad". Personally I would have told my child that why is a girl loving a girl a bad thing? And how would the bully know who they loved? Thereby, giving your child awkward questions to ask the bully and make them look stupid I I. Now way said it was a bad thing to my daughter is said that exact thing it doesn't matter who they want to be with that's not wrong & is the individuals choice I also said the term gay used to mean happy so could say yes I'm extremely happy as a way to deflect but it's also my lil girl & I worry"
But if it's not a bad thing why would she need to hit the bully? It's a blinking minefield I agree. But I'd probably inform your daughter about gay relationships, in case the bully does something similar. Kids are usually really accepting of it, my eldest whose the same age is, but only because my mate got married to her partner a few years ago, to him it's normal not a big deal. |
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"Sorry dude your wrong on this one. Violence in any form can't be condoned let alone in children. School haven't gone soft, they realise the importance of adverse childhood experiences much like they removed the cane as the trauma from such tactics causes more long term damage than it does solve short term. You need to speak with the head. Whilst in school they are in the care of the school and and incidents should be dealt with at that level.
Also the child needs to be educated as to why its not a very nice thing to do but not in a negative way either.did do last time threatened to pull my child from the school but live in village not so easy to do for a long time she been happy & out goin don't want her gettin withdrawn she's 9 the days should b full of wonder not self confidence issues"
That's sad when your kids aren't enjoying school. The school and education authority will have a policy on bullying. Be proactive. Read it, and go meet the head and ask them to record it formally. If that fails, go to the County authority and demand they take action. They will invariably take the path of least resistance, which usually means not doing much. You have to demand (nicely) that they solve the problem. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think yes it was wrong because you don't want your kid to think violence is the answer. But you've aided the bully by confirming being gay is "bad". Personally I would have told my child that why is a girl loving a girl a bad thing? And how would the bully know who they loved? Thereby, giving your child awkward questions to ask the bully and make them look stupid I I. Now way said it was a bad thing to my daughter is said that exact thing it doesn't matter who they want to be with that's not wrong & is the individuals choice I also said the term gay used to mean happy so could say yes I'm extremely happy as a way to deflect but it's also my lil girl & I worry
But if it's not a bad thing why would she need to hit the bully? It's a blinking minefield I agree. But I'd probably inform your daughter about gay relationships, in case the bully does something similar. Kids are usually really accepting of it, my eldest whose the same age is, but only because my mate got married to her partner a few years ago, to him it's normal not a big deal. "
just cos she was bullied b4 I really maybe I'm too protective after muffin seemed to b done b4 by school he left so it solved itself nothing to do with school themselves, we nor her see anythin wrong with same sex couples her crush has 2mums absolutely nothing wrong with that! The comment was born from the naicley nicely approach I'm not sayin bring back the cane I never had it but we got told things were wrong & hurtful with some kind of punishment or not bein able to play at break 1 time or something alongs them lines! Like I said in previous didn't think about governors that's a helpfull comment |
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The below is from the SCC website....
Hope it helps... And good luck with it...
"All schools in Suffolk are committed to providing the best education for young people. We want our children to do well and be happy, healthy and safe.
We are aware that there may be occasions where people have concerns or complaints about their child’s school. If you are unhappy the first step you need to take is to obtain a copy of your school’s complaints procedure. The information explained on this page is to help parents and carers understand what may be involved. However it is only intended as a guide.
Complaints are not dealt with by Suffolk County Council, but by the individual school.
As a parent or carer you must get the school's own policy, and follow the procedures set out in that document." |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sorry dude your wrong on this one. Violence in any form can't be condoned let alone in children. School haven't gone soft, they realise the importance of adverse childhood experiences much like they removed the cane as the trauma from such tactics causes more long term damage than it does solve short term. You need to speak with the head. Whilst in school they are in the care of the school and and incidents should be dealt with at that level.
Also the child needs to be educated as to why its not a very nice thing to do but not in a negative way either.did do last time threatened to pull my child from the school but live in village not so easy to do for a long time she been happy & out goin don't want her gettin withdrawn she's 9 the days should b full of wonder not self confidence issues
That's sad when your kids aren't enjoying school. The school and education authority will have a policy on bullying. Be proactive. Read it, and go meet the head and ask them to record it formally. If that fails, go to the County authority and demand they take action. They will invariably take the path of least resistance, which usually means not doing much. You have to demand (nicely) that they solve the problem. "
thank u a constructive comment I didnt think of some of these things, helpful |
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