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Worst First Message
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you share private messages in a forum you get a ban. "
Surely you can do it in comical way? Not real first messages?
'If you like your men with a huge penis, no profile pictures and a tendency to badger you, then I'm your man *attaches Google found famous porn star's giant member picture.   |
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"If you share private messages in a forum you get a ban.
Surely you can do it in comical way? Not real first messages?
'If you like your men with a huge penis, no profile pictures and a tendency to badger you, then I'm your man *attaches Google found famous porn star's giant member picture. "
When you click on 'post in forum' There is a header that says check the rules before posting.
Private mails should stay private no matter...... |
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Not word for word as that would get a ban but I have had several from blokes asking in various ways if I would like to have my cock sucked or like to fuck My stock response is “ only If it is your wife doing it, and no you can’t watch”
Normally has the desired effect
I should say receiving a message of any type is a fairly rare occurrence |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you share private messages in a forum you get a ban.
Surely you can do it in comical way? Not real first messages?
'If you like your men with a huge penis, no profile pictures and a tendency to badger you, then I'm your man *attaches Google found famous porn star's giant member picture.
When you click on 'post in forum' There is a header that says check the rules before posting.
Private mails should stay private no matter......"
No matter if they are entirely fictional for laughs?  |
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Genres of messages I dislike.
* "You will come to (postcode) after dark. Alone. Tell no one" (graphic sexual description) ... Swing imagines the detective finding my corpse the next morning
* Graphic description of sexual prowess, usually anatomically impossible
* Breeding
* The demands I come to their place right now
* Insult and block
* Demeaning of sex workers
* "I ain't gonna read all that iz a sex sight luv" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You don’t really get bad messages from women, you do occasionally from couples that are very entitled and incredibly arrogant. I got one once that was along the lines of you should be grateful we’ve messaged you, but now you need to impress us with your conversational skills, needless to say I gave a humorous but slightly sarcastic reply and was immediately blocked, totally worth it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So what's been the worst or filthiest first message you've ever had on here? I'm sure some of you could write a book ha. Xx"
Not so filthy but I don't like the messages I receive from cheating married women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You don’t really get bad messages from women, you do occasionally from couples that are very entitled and incredibly arrogant. I got one once that was along the lines of you should be grateful we’ve messaged you, but now you need to impress us with your conversational skills, needless to say I gave a humorous but slightly sarcastic reply and was immediately blocked, totally worth it. "
I feel this. Couples send terrible messages. The husbands usually send short messages with terrible grammar and punctuation and the wives usually send pointless messages that are awkward |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*taxi 10 mins?
*can I get you pregnant 
*will you watch me put a banana up my bum, shit it out and eat it
You said you would keep them 3 to yourself "
Soz Pond... I thought that was the shetland pony... My bad  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*taxi 10 mins?
*can I get you pregnant
*will you watch me put a banana up my bum, shit it out and eat it "
lol
once in the middle of the night a woman sent me 'breed me' like message and then woke up later in the day and apologized for her d*unken message
safe to say she was impregnated
some are really into this pregnancy fantasy tho |
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"I don't normally go for fat birds but you're dead local.
Oh fuck me, I’m crying "
Geographical proximity is such a turn on; they can be as rough as a badger's arsehole but if they live locally I'll still drop trou.
True story *nods* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ain't gonna suck itself!
I love that one, as well as "I really need to dump a load/need my bollocks draining".
God, that sounds SO MUCH FUN! I'm on me way "
What charming men, you lucky lady  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ain't gonna suck itself!
I love that one, as well as "I really need to dump a load/need my bollocks draining".
God, that sounds SO MUCH FUN! I'm on me way
What charming men, you lucky lady "
Dump a load. Havnt heard that one before |
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"Ain't gonna suck itself!
I love that one, as well as "I really need to dump a load/need my bollocks draining".
God, that sounds SO MUCH FUN! I'm on me way "
Balls need draining sounds like a painful medical procedure.
Like lancing a boil.
I'm not a sadist, sorry, hope you find what you're looking for |
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Somebody asked if I (Luke) would like to watch him have his wicked way with Hannah. It involved the F word, bad spelling and bad grammar, to the extent I had to ask him what he meant. Eventually he made himself clear.
I don't know how anybody might think that approach might entice anybody. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you share private messages in a forum you get a ban.
I dont think the op was asking for a screenshot. Merely a description on what we class as a bad first message. "
Thank you that's right it was just a general idea and as some people said just as a comical aspect. Wow some very serious people on here with very little to do. I'm sure a bit of comedy during lockdown could do us all good xx |
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"At least some of these have imagination...
We mostly get "Wow"... And that's it
Wow Really?  "
I once got about ten lines, all caps, about how amazingly sexy and gorgeous I was.
I don't know if it was supposed to be just effusive praise but it came across as unhinged |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Got one from a guy with a pic of his bent over hairy Axx Hxxx asking if I’ve ever slipped into anything so rugged lol; I was polite of course, told him if he shaved it and made it and wore it as a wig I may consider |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"At least some of these have imagination...
We mostly get "Wow"... And that's it
Wow Really?
I once got about ten lines, all caps, about how amazingly sexy and gorgeous I was.
I don't know if it was supposed to be just effusive praise but it came across as unhinged"
Lol shouting at you about your beauty sound a little unhinged ha xx |
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By *kishaWoman
over a year ago
Fun world |
I was asked by a pakistani guy to “sit on his paki mother’s face”!! 
Also had one “give me a chance u wont be disappointed i honestly need xl coz im pretty thick” errrrm didnt know how to answer that o e  |
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"It involved a goat and a grandmother! Tempting tho it may have been (obviously not!) I politely declined"
The effort the poor man was willing to go through and you declined? Have you any idea how hard it is to find a willing goat?
Some people are just so hard to please..*Sheesh*
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting one this morn asking if I had a poo yet when I asked why he said he likes to watch "
And you answered him lol may try that next time as an ice breaker |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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*hi
* u ok?
* wanna breed
*how much money will it take
* begging messages
* can I fuck you BB
* babe I love fat girls
* how much do you weigh
* will you crush me
* can I have milk from your tits
The lists are endless |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a message from a couple with their bank details in it saying that if I put a certain amount of money in there I could go round and have sex with the female of the couple whilst the guy watches. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a message from a couple with their bank details in it saying that if I put a certain amount of money in there I could go round and have sex with the female of the couple whilst the guy watches."
That's slightly less sleazy that the top up my phone credit offer I had for the same. |
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"Seems like I’m wasting my time with polite messages.....
I’m now going to just ask ....
“Can I come over and tongue punch you in your fart box”
I reckon I’m on to a winner here....
"
I used that exact line on a lady once...oh how she laughed...No seriously she did |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not the first but a follow-up was asking if they can watch us and have a wank while wearing a mask."
Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase safe sex ha xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*hi
* u ok?
* wanna breed
*how much money will it take
* begging messages
* can I fuck you BB
* babe I love fat girls
* how much do you weigh
* will you crush me
* can I have milk from your tits
The lists are endless "
These are all the lines I sent to Vivacious. At least I'm persistent |
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