FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > The REALLY funny joke thread......
The REALLY funny joke thread......
Jump to: Newest in thread
I came out of the supermarket earlier and there was a woman crying her eyes out.
I asked her what was wrong and she explained how she had been saving up money for the last two years to go on an amazing holiday.
Then, on the way to the travel agent she had lost all the money.
I was so touched by her story that I gave her 50 quid.
Now I don’t normally do that sort of thing ,
but I’d just found 2 grand in cash in the car park!
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My mate asked, "So how come you and your wife have been together for so long and never seem to argue?"
"The key to a good marriage is an adventurous and exciting sex life."
"Really? I never knew that."
"Neither does she!" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Woman said to her husband she was thinking of breast enlargements...
"Just rub toilet paper between them, it will be cheaper," he replied.
"Will that work?" she asked.
"It did for your arse!" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer."Certainly sir, that'll be a penny." "A penny? ' the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?" "Ten pence " the barman replied."Ten pence?" exclaimed the man, “so where's Jack who owns this place?" The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife." The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" The bartender replied, "The same thing I'm doing to his business down here." |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer."Certainly sir, that'll be a penny." "A penny? ' the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?" "Ten pence " the barman replied."Ten pence?" exclaimed the man, “so where's Jack who owns this place?" The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife." The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" The bartender replied, "The same thing I'm doing to his business down here." |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Spell "I met".
Now phone home!
Honest to fooking God....... i've tried n tried and read it n read it.
Anyone ?
I met
Now phone home ?
anyone at all ?"
I M E T
I Em Ee Tee
I am ET
Wiith a joke like that, no wonder they abanded him on Earth. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Spell "I met".
Now phone home!
Honest to fooking God....... i've tried n tried and read it n read it.
Anyone ?
I met
Now phone home ?
anyone at all ?
I M E T
I Em Ee Tee
I am ET
Wiith a joke like that, no wonder they abanded him on Earth."
Thanks professor ........ it's shit isn't it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Spell "I met".
Now phone home!
Honest to fooking God....... i've tried n tried and read it n read it.
Anyone ?
I met
Now phone home ?
anyone at all ?
I M E T
I Em Ee Tee
I am ET
Wiith a joke like that, no wonder they abanded him on Earth.
Thanks professor ........ it's shit isn't it."
Yes it is, cheesier than waiving some soft cheese, at a shy panda baby, at the zoo.
Camembert, camembert.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Doctor says "Dave, I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating."
Dave "Oh no! Why Doc?"
Doctor "Because I'm trying to examine you!" "
Nice one. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My dyslexic best friend was arrested for dancing naked in a local farmers barn after he went to a marriage guidance meeting. I asked him what the fuck he was thinking and he said he was given the advice that he should do something sexy to a tractor |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sheila, the Aussie housewife got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor.
Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped, did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband Bruce. "Bruce, Bruce!", she yelled.
Bruce came running in. 'Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor' she said.
'Crikey!' Bruce said and tried to pull her up. 'You're stuck fast girl. I'll go across the road and get Frank.
They came back and they both tried to pull her up. 'No way. We can't do it, let's try Plan B.' Frank said. 'Plan B?' exclaimed Bruce. 'What's that'?
'I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we can break the tiles under her and release the vacuum.' replied Frank..
'Spot on' Bruce said. 'While you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her tits.''
Play with her tits'? Frank said, 'Not exactly a good time for that mate?'
'No' Bruce replied, 'But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive' |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"My dyslexic best friend was arrested for dancing naked in a local farmers barn after he went to a marriage guidance meeting. I asked him what the fuck he was thinking and he said he was given the advice that he should do something sexy to a tractor"
Deere oh Deere! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
1) I’ve recently seen that shops are doing advent calendars for Jehovah’s Witness’s , behind every window they’re is someone telling you to fuck off.
2) I had a Jehovah witness trying to tell me a knock knock joke but I pretended not to be in . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
