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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My wife said, "Those penis enlargement pills you're taking are definitely working. You're a bigger prick today than you were yesterday."
And...
I was in Australia with the wife recently, when she was stung on the minge by a hornet, so I phoned a local Doctor who was a bit of a laid back, surfer type dude.
"Doc, please help me"
"Hey, what s up man?"
"My wife has been stung on her vagina and its completely closed up"
"Bummer dude"
"Thanks doc, bye"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I saw a sticker on the back of a van that said "Give cyclist SPACE"... Great advice I thought, but how many cyclist can you get on the Space Shuttle?  "
The Police came round my house yesterday and said. " We're here regarding your ex wife, i'm afraid she lookes like she has been in a car crash"
I said " I know, but i married her for her personality" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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THIS COUPLE COME TO A NEW TOWN AND HE GETS A JOB AT THE LOCAL PICKLE FACTORY. A FEW YEARS GO BY AND EACH YEAR HE WINS THE EMPLOYEE OF THE YEAR AWARD ONE DAY IN THE 3RD YEAR HE COMES HOME LOOKING DEPRESSED. HIS WIFE ASKS HIM WHATS WRONG AND HE RESPONDS WITH HES GOT FIRED. FIRED HOW CAN YOU BE FIRED YOU'RE ALWAYS THE EMPLOYEE OF THE YEAR SHE SAYS STUNNED. TO THIS HE RESPONDS THAT HE HAD ANOTHER FANTASY HE NEEDED TO FULFILL AND IT GOT HIM FIRED. SHE SAID OH NO NOT AGAIN WHAT WAS IT THIS TIME?
HE SAID WELL I ALWAYS FANTASISED ABOUT PUTTING MY WILLY IN THE PICKLE SLICER. YOU DIDNT SHE HOPED! HE BLUSHED AND SAID WELL YES I DID.THEN SHE ASKED DID IT HURT! NO NOT REALLY ANSWERS THE MAN PUZZLED SHE THEN ASKS THE MAN WELL WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PICKLE SLICER! HE ANSWERS OH SHE GOT FIRED TOO. |
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The wife went for a new tattoo today but wouldn't tell me what she was having. Said it would be a surprise.
When she got back i asked her what it was.
"A "W" tattooed on each cheek" she said, dropping her pants and bending over to show me.
"WoW"  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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In the sleepy village of Erbum near the town of Tillet in Hertfordshire, lives a women called Linda Lykes. She is the land lady of the local pub, The Cockwell Inn. For some unknown reason, she gets realy embarassed whenever she receives her post:
Lynda Lykes
The Cockwell Inn
Erbum
Tillet
Herts |
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