A few years back I decided to ride the shopping trolley at a garden centre, but they're not balanced like supermarket ones
It sat down on its arse, my knee slammed into the ground and the front cross bar hit me right between the eyes and broke the bridge of my nose
I bet it was comical to watch, though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remember once I thought I could take a mans piss in my mouth. He was in bed and I asked him to pee in my mouth thinking I could handle it and just swallow it down. It came out with such a ferociously fast flow that it actually felt like I was drowning like when water goes up your nose in the swimming pool. I was coughing and spluttering with pee coming out of my nose. It’s funny now, but wasn’t at the time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Few years back Sky sports Zoomed right in on my husband stuffing his face with a pie during the Stoke City v Newcastle United match. He was suppose to be on a diet. I left him a note on the fireplace for when he got back saying hope you enjoyed the pie. His race the following morning was priceless  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to have on did those umbrellas where you press te button on the handle and it would open up.
One day, I was walking out the shopping centre and I pushed the button, and the umbrella shot off the end and was there, opened up on the floor, so in a mad dash, I had to chase it, close it, and find the nearest bin in the view if the general public  |
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About 20 years ago me and my mate were driving down the A470 at 70mph. He asked me to roll him a fag so I grabbed a red file from the back seat and rolled him a fag and gave it to him. The file was covered in tobacco so I rolled down the window to brush the debris off and the wind just sucked the file straight out. I said nothing and just wound the window up. How was I to know it was all the work for his final year in college that he was due to hand-in in 2 days time. He looked in his rear view mirror and casually said wtf is that. Then it dawned on him, he hit the roof, and I mean fucking ballistic and I just burst out laughing. To this day I have never ever laughed so much in my entire life watching 3rd years work flapping in the wind hahaha. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Years ago, in my early days of being a young Airman, I had a room mate that was covered in hair. JT was so hairy, he made bigfoot look bald.
In those days, shooting a moon was popular. I had just gotten off a mid shift and upon arriving home, JT greeted me with a hairy-assed moon shot from the upstairs window... What JT couldn’t see was our elderly neighbour, about to embark on her day. As we exchanged pleasantries, I ignored JT, which meant his enthusiasm for exhibiting his hairy ass and dangly balls grew even greater!
Suddenly, I drew our neighbour further into the front lawn, only to look up, and point to JT’s hairy display! The elderly neighbour looked up in shock, as JT, totally unaware pressed his ass into the window! The neighbour lady was speechless, as JT turned around anticipating my approval, was himself shocked as much as the poor neighbour lady!
Every time I seen her, and with JT nearby, I introduced him as the guy who displays himself in the window. A few days later, the neighbour lady presented us with a blue light, to let the neighbourhood know when JT would next be on display!
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I took a nose bleed when giving someone a blow job at a swingers house party. The lights were off so i was not aware for a while. What a bloody mess i made of the white sheets. When the lights went on you would have thought i had bit the poor guys cock off. |
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